Timeless Faith
by Norwalker
Summary: Third in a series begun by " Summer of faith". I just couldn't leave it alone, could I? Anyway, this part deal with how Faith and the rest deal with Buffy's death. And whatever follows. BF, thanks for reading - reviews welcome
1. Chapter 1

Timeless Faith 

By Norwalker

Part 1 of ?

Rating : R for language, sexual situations and violence.

Category: Romance/Angst/Drama

Disclaimer: Most, if not all of the characters depicted here are the property of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, Inc. and Fox. This is a work of fiction; any similarities to anyone living or dead are purely coincidental.

Summary: Third in a series of stories started with " Summer of faith" and continued in "Seasons of faith". In the last book, Buffy died fighting Glorificus, the Hell goddess. This book picks up where that book ended. How does Faith deal with the loss of Buffy? How does life change for the scoobies? Buffy will be with them always, but is there more to it than just memories? Stay tuned.

Spoilers: Possible season 6 and season 7 spoilers. Hope you've watched them by now.

Timeline: Season 6, maybe season 7 and beyond( don't know yet).

WARNING: **_There is always the possibility of major character death_**. Romance between members of the same gender(duh). Sexual situations between members of the same gender. This is an _Alternate Universe_ (AU) story. The real(by the series 'coda' ) relationship between Buffy and Faith never happened here. So if you're looking for the dark, knife wielding, don't give a crap about nothing but me Faith, She's not here.(ok, bit of an exaggeration, as we all know by now that Faith redeemed herself, but the "dark, evil" Faith never got a chance to live here). Violence happens. Adult themes( someday, I plan on being one, too). Sexual situations. All the usual stuff.

**Author's Note**: For those faithful(forgive the pun, please) fans that have been following this series, I have only one thing to say: THANK YOU! It's been your kind words and encouragement that have helped me continue this saga. You've been great and I hope this third( and final) installment will please you. You don't have to read the rest of this note, because it's mainly for anyone that might be joining us this late in the game. Again, Thank you, and please keep reading and reviewing.

For those new to this series, this is the third installment of a series of stories I've written about The Chosen Two. The first installment, " Summer of Faith" is available on Fan Fiction. Net. You might be already there. If so, just go to my profile ( URL address(they won't let me put it in here without cutting it off) followed by /norwalker. The second installment, "Seasons of faith" unfortunately is not available at Fan Fiction. Net . Due to a scene in the 20th chapter, the story was removed from site. It evidently was too graphic/ descriptive of the lovemaking between the two main characters. I guess I could go through it and edit it, but I don't want to. Or I'm just too lazy. Anyway, if you want to catch that installment, you have to go Adult Fan fiction. I can't put the URL here( see above), but if you email at the address in my profile, I'll send you the link. I'm also willing to send you the full story. However, two caveats to that. 1) it's a large file( 264K compressed in a zip file), so if you have limited space in your mailbox, it might not get through. The other caveat 2) is that if you want to use the story( god knows why), please ask first. That's it, anyway. I'd give you a basic rundown of those stories, but I'd really prefer if you read them( so you'll know if you want to read this one). Thanks again reading, and reviews are welcome( but flames belong in the fireplace, ok?).

**Timeless Faith**

The late afternoon sun had a golden quality to it. It played upon whatever it touched and gave a sense of nostalgia to the scene. More, much more than being lit, things seemed to glow. The light through the leaves had an almost celestial sensibility, as if a divine hand had touched them. The dappled light and shadows on the grass gave a sweet sense of familiarity, a déjà vu The late afternoon breeze was gentle; it cooled but it didn't disturb. All in all there was a sense of timelessness to the place, a sense of peace and serenity.

The young woman walks the path she's taken so many times in the last 3 months. It was so familiar to her now, that she doesn't have to watch where is; almost by instinct she knows. The gentle breeze lifts her long , raven colored locks, blowing them gently behind her as she strides purposefully to her destination. Her time is limited; these days she seems to have so many things to do, and so little time to get them done. But these moments are precious to her; more, they are necessary.

Faith spots her destination , and turns towards the site. Her pace slows; it's as if she wants to stretch out this time as much as she can. Every little bit calls out to her to be noticed, to be recorded in her memories. Her eyes drink in the scene, as if carry it with her when she's away. Her face softens, and a small, wistful smile plays across her lips. She comes to the maker, and kneels beside it, touching it lightly with her fingers, as if giving it a loving caress. She feels the rough-hewn stone beneath her fingertips, cold and unyielding. So different from the one she wishes she could touch. She gently leans in towards the stone, and lightly kisses it. Straightening up, she begins to tend to the plot around the stone, pulling weeds, and removing the old dead flowers from the vase embedded in the stone. She places the rose she brought with her. Digging through her pockets, she finds the little memento she brought with her. Today it's a brightly colored stone, that shimmers in the late afternoon light. It might be anything : a stone, a colored piece of glass, a small coin ; anything she's seen that's caught her eye and that she wants to share with her love. Smiling, task completed, she sits back on her legs, smiling. She reaches out and traces her fingers over the marker, as if to let Buffy know she's here.

" Hi, baby" Faith murmurs, almost to herself," Missed ya, B. " Faith smiles ruefully," Kinda silly, saying that, huh? I'm like always missing you, baby. You know that. Kinda stupid, huh?" Faith says," I'm sorry I'm kinda late today. Tried to get away sooner, but I just couldn't. Ya know how life can be, just when things are going ok, something comes along to mess things up" Faith shrugs a little, and continues," I knew you'd understand. I'm here now, though, baby. So we can hang out for a little while. That'll be good, huh?" Faith's voice falters a little, but she catches herself. She promised Buffy she wouldn't, and she won't. She continues, softly, " Yeah, that'll be real good".

" Hi, from Dawnie by the way. She'd asked me to tell you that. She'd come herself, baby, but… well, it's really hard for her, ya know? Don't be too disappointed with her not coming more often. She's just a kid, honey. She doesn't understand. It really tears her up , after. She misses you so much. She doesn't realize you're in a better place, a happy place. You're in a better place, right? Dumb me, I know you can't answer that. I just gotta believe you are" Faith stops, taking a breath, trying to calm her heart." You'd be so proud of her, B. She's doing so much better now than at first. She's a strong one, B. I wish sometimes I were as strong as she is" Faith pauses, getting a grip on herself. " Funny how they surprise you, aint it? I mean, I expected her to go all to pieces, honey. To get really crazy, ya know? But she's … she's taking it all so well. I'm so proud of her. The P-nut is something else, ya know?" Faith smiles," don't get me wrong. She misses you something fierce. I can tell it. Sometimes she forgets, and calls out for you. Sometimes at night, she has really bad dreams. Poor kid, she's trying to be so brave, but her dreams give her grief. Me or Red stay with her until she falls back to sleep. That seems to help some. Sometimes when she thinks everybody's asleep, I'll hear her crying. God, I want to rush to her, and hold her and comfort her. But I don't. I know it'll just embarrass her, and you know how girls are at that age. But I gotta admit, it breaks my heart to hear her."

" I see Red's been here again" Faith says, smiling at the new stone on the tombstone." I worry about her sometimes, honey. She's really taking this hard. Much harder than I expected, ya know? Tara sees it too. It's not just me" Faith says, quietly," I'm kinda fearing she might do something stupid. I'm glad Tara's there for her. She's trying to hold up, but a lotta times some little thing will remind her, and she kinda loses it. Sometimes it's almost like she lost Tara." Faith pauses, repentant," sorry, that was uncalled for, I guess. She was you're best friend , after all. It's natural she's gonna miss you big time. Don't I know that one!" Faith pauses again, to get a grip on her own feelings." Ok, busted. I guess I'm kinda jealous cuz I think I should be allowed to break down more. Ya know? I mean…damn, that isn't what I meant. I just … I just wish she'd realize what she's got. Damn" Faith stops again, wiping away a tear hastily," sorry, babe, I didn't mean to do that! I know I promised to be strong, and I'm really trying, ok? Just kinda hard, sometimes."

"Hey, I'm workin' again. With Xan-man. Yeah, believe it or not. Back to pounding nails and fitting wallboard. But hey, it pays good, and we can use the money. It was kinda awkward when I went into ask. Ya know, Xan-mans cool and all, but he's still got a thing about female construction workers. Heh. He kinda got all weirded out and such, but when he saw how I handled a nail gun and saw, he sure changed his tune fast. I'll tell ya, it's pretty cool. Xan-mans a pretty mellow boss, and hey, I even got promoted. Yeah, that's right. I'm supervising my own crew now, I'll have you know, Ms. Smarty pants B. Aint ya proud of me?" Faith asks, for a brief second forgetting B isn't really there. She almost loses it, but regains her composure," of course you're proud of me. You always were, I know. Well… mostly. But I'm doin ok, ya know? And I'm getting the bills paid on time now. Me and dawn even went shopping last week, get her some school clothes. Hey, she's gonna be in High school this year. Cool, huh? Too bad they don't have Sunnydale high built yet. I'll have to take her across town to go to Western. Oh well, no big. And hey, I'm working on the rebuilding…at least, if Xan-man gets the contract, like he's supposed to. And guess what. Yeah, the idiots at the City Council are putting it on the same site… right back on top of the hellmouth. God, they're dorks, huh? Anyway, lil sis is growin' up. It'll be good for her to get back to school, too. Keep her busy, her mind occupied. Yeah…good" Faith despite herself, feels the tears starting to sting at her eyes. She promised, she promised, and now she might break that promise. God, she had to get outta here before she got all blubbery and started crying.

" Hey, baby, I gotta go. Ya know how it is . Busy , busy, I'm always busy!" Faith says brightly, trying to cover her emotions, "Gonna miss me, babe?" She picked the wrong thing to say; it hits too close to home, to her heart. The tears start to roll, and she furiously starts to wipe them away. That only gets her more upset, and she loses control. " Damn, Damn! I promised, and I'm screwin up again" Faith chokes, her voice thick with emotion," I know it upsets you when I cry. I'm really sorry, honey. I'm really trying to be stronger. I really am!" Faith says. Her knees betray her when she tries to stand, and she falls over, leaning against the gravestone. She starts to shake, her body unleashing her pain. Little sobs and whimpers come out, and her face is covered in tears. She just leans against the stone, not caring.

"Dammit B, why'd ya have to go and leave me? Why? WHY?" Faith cries out, her heart breaking all over again. " I know, I know , my head knows the reason" Faith says, trying to calm down… but it's not going so well." You had to do it, save the world, again. Right? It's your job, you're destiny. Goddamnit, WHY????" Faith wails, not caring who hears her," I know, you were protecting the P-nut. I know that. I know Dawn has a right to live, to grow up. I know, I know. I want her to live, to grow up, to be happy, find someone to love. But that doesn't make it better, B" Faith says, growling," that so doesn't make it hurt one tiny bit less. I hate this, B. I hate it so much. Every day something reminds me of you, every fucking hour, every fucking minute I see you somewhere, in something. It's like a knife in my heart, baby. It hurts, it hurts so bad" Faith keens," I'm trying, I'm really trying to move on, get on with my life. But I can't do it, B. It just hurts too much." Faith stops, breathing, trying to push back the tears." When you died, I washed the sheets 10 times, trying to get your scent out of them. Didn't work, I can still smell you in our bed. I gave Mr. Gordo to Dawnie, cause I couldn't look at him every morning. I tried to give away your clothes, but I can't do it. I take them out, and try to separate them, and I smell you again, and I break down. I'm so weak, I hate being so weak, baby. Forgive me for being so damned weak. I need you, I need you" Faith cries. " Why couldn't someone else save the world for once? Why couldn't it have been me? I don't want to live anymore, B, not without you. Don't you see that? It hurts too much to live without you. B" Faith gasps, trying to get air in her lungs," God, I'm sorry I don't mean it." If she didn't have Dawn, She would've meant it." I'll go on, I'll keep Dawnie safe. I Promise." Faith stands up, brushing herself off. "Dammit, I didn't mean to get all fucking weepy. Shit, shit, shit. I gotta get cleaned up, so Dawnie doesn't know I've been crying again. She hates that." Faith turns to the stone, and addresses her comments to it." I gotta go now, honey. I'm sorry, but I gotta make sure P-nut's ok. I love you" Faith starts to walk away, then turns back. Her face is sad, and she says quietly, " What am I gonna do? How do I make it, honey?". Her voice is small and defeated. She turns away again, and walks away.

Faith, turned away towards the path, doesn't see or hear the red headed woman approaching from behind her. The woman's face, kind in aspect, is particularly sad at the moment. She'd heard Faith approaching, and had wanted to give her some privacy. She had faded back, away from Buffy's grave, hoping the raven haired slayer hadn't noticed.

Willow hadn't meant to listen, but she couldn't help overhearing when Faith lost control. She felt bad for Faith; despite their differences, they had one thing in common: They both loved Buffy. She'd been doubtful of Faith's devotion, but the evidence of her eyes didn't lie. She knew Faith was having a rough time of it. She could tell by the dark circles under Faith's eyes that she wasn't sleeping well. While Faith heard Dawn's crying in the night, Willow was aware of Faith's own tears in the late hours. She felt an empathy for Faith; when Buffy died part of Willow's heart had shut down, too. But Willow was lucky, she had Tara to hold her, comfort her through this. Faith had to tough it out alone. She felt she had to be strong for Dawn, show her by example that things would be alright.

Willow walked to Buffy's headstone, and looked down at it. She lightly ran her fingers along its edge, as if letting Buffy know she was there. She kneeled by the stone, and placed her palm on its face.

" I swear, Buffy. I'm gonna fix this. I'm gonna make it alright. I'm gonna get you out of that hell dimension, and bring you back to Faith." Willow touched the tips of her fingers to her lips, and touched them to the stone. She stood, her resolve face set as hard as the marble of Buffy's headstone.

She walked down the path leading away from the gravesite.

* * *

Dawn locked the door to her bedroom, and crossed over to her dresser.

Kneeling down, she opened the bottom drawer. Moving aside some old clothes she never wore anymore, she lifted out a small wooden box. Closing the drawer, she headed for her bed, box in hand.

Opening the box, she lifted out the contents. There were various necklaces and bracelets, and a ring or two. All stuff she'd … borrowed… from others. Here was the necklace she'd taken from Willow's and Tara's room the day her mom had died. She liked this one, it was pretty. Here was Buffy's necklace, the one with two hearts entwined with Faith's inscription… the one she'd given Buffy on her 18th birthday. Faith had been frantic looking for this necklace: she'd wanted Buffy to be buried in it. Lotta good it'd do there, Dawn thought to herself. She had other things, precious things in her 'treasure' box. Some things she'd taken from stores, some she'd found, and some she's borrowed from friends or family.

Dawn had a little problem.

She liked to touch the things she took. Somehow, it made her feel more connected here, more real. She needed these things, they made her feel better. She only took them because she needed to take them. She'd see them, lying around, and had to have them. Not even wanted them; she _had _to have them. The first time she took something, she'd been so scared she'd be caught. Her hearted pounded crazily in her chest. But she couldn't stop herself, she needed it. So, she watched to be sure she wasn't being watched, and slipped it quietly into her pocket. Nobody even saw her, it was so cool. Later, when the owner reported it 'missing' , she just acted innocent, and no one questioned her about it. It gave her a rush to get away with it. She'd been doing it ever since.

The first time she took something from a shop, it was a whole new level of thrill. She started with the Magic Box, stealing small trinkets and finally a talisman. It was too easy. She next tried a small boutique shop down the street. That was tougher; they had security cameras and all that kinda junk. But she waited till it was pretty busy, and the clerks were distracted. She positioned herself so another customer was between her and the camera. She put her hand over what she wanted, and let it slide up her sleeve. She casually looked around some more, and then left. Man, her heart was nearly beating out of her chest, but she did it. She got away with it.

Thing was, once she had the item, she didn't really want it anymore. At least, with the stuff she got from shops. Mostly, she'd just give it away, or let it drop so someone else could find it. It was weird. Once she had it, it just didn't seem all that important anymore. It didn't mean anything to her. So, she got rid of it. She kept the stuff she got from like Willow, or Buffy, or Faith…but the rest? She shrugs. Oh well.

She knew why she got away with it. She wasn't real. No one could really see her, not the real her. She was just some kind of mystic energy or something. So of course, when she took stuff, no one could see her do It. She wasn't really there, right? That's what those crazy people said. She wasn't real. So, her taking that stuff didn't matter. If she wasn't real, it couldn't be real, either. Could it?

If she was real, why did all her 'family' keep leaving her then? Her father, Hank Summers, didn't even try to find out if she was alright. He was off somewhere in Europe with his secretary. He never even bothered to contact Dawn. OF course , that was true about Buffy, too. But still, even when Buffy died, did he come? No! And mom knew she wasn't real. Dawn had overheard her talking to Buffy, the night she found out what she was. Buffy said she wasn't real, and mom hadn't argued. Then she died, and did she leave any kind of message that she loved Dawn, that Dawn was her daughter, her 'punkin belly ' ? No, not a thing. Buffy… Buffy was different. Buffy had a choice. She chose to die. That night, on the tower, she should've let me jump into the rift. I was supposed to jump into it, that was my purpose. My meaning. But she didn't… she took that away from me. She jumped, leaving me, leaving Faith, leaving all of us behind! How could she do that? How could she take the one thing that had meaning for me, that made me real, and take it? And leave me? Leave me without any family, without a real home. Nothing. She left me, she chose to leave me.

_I hate her_. I hate she left me! I hate them all. They'd all leave me, I know they would. Buffy made them promise to look after me. If not for that, they'd be so gone so fast, my head would spin around on my neck trying to watch them. They don't care about me, they don't love me. I'm not real. How could they love me? They hate me because Buffy died instead of me. I know it. I know they'd rather I was dead. They loved her. They want her back, they want me gone. Not like I matter. Why should I? I'm some blob of energy. Not a person. Not Dawn. Not anything!

They pretend they care about me, for her sake. They say they love me, but it's a lie. Like I'm a lie. My existence is a lie. It's all a big fat lie. None of that's real. This is real, she thinks, looking at her 'treasure. The rest? All lies.

Lies! Lies! LIES!!!

* * *

"I have to do this, Tara!" Willow said, firmly.

Tara and Willow are in their room at Buffy's house. Their bed is covered by magical texts, some for research, others texts of magical spells and incantations. Willow is lying on the bed, her nose stuck in a spell book. Tara is beside the bed, watching her. Tara's expression reflects her worry.

"W-Willow, you know I don't like this. It's dangerous" Tara said, looking at the book Willow was reading. _The Lexicon of the Dark Arts_ . Even the name gave her the wiggins. " I think you're dabbling in risky magic, Willow".

"Tara, we talked about this. There's no telling where Buffy went when she dived into the portal. She might be in some hell dimension, suffering unspeakable torture." Willow shivers," I can't live with myself if I leave her in that kind of pain".

" I know t-that, Willow," Tara says," but your talking about a resurrection spell. Those spells can go very wrong!"

Willow gets up, and comes over to Tara. She puts her arm around Tara's shoulders.

" Honey, this isn't like when Dawn wanted to resurrect Mrs. Summers. Buffy didn't die a natural death" Willow says, soothingly, " Her death was a result of mystic energy. We aren't going against the natural order in performing this ritual".

"I—I know that, Willow" Tara replies. She moves a little away from Willow. Willow gets a slightly hurt look on her face. Tara turns back to her." Willow" She continues, softly," the kinds of magic you're tapping aren't from Gaia, the earth. They're based on emotion and conflict. They're … hard to control, and can easily turn on you". She walks back to Willow, and takes her hand. " I know Buffy's death has been hard on you, Willow. I know how much she meant to you, Willow" Tara says, gently. Willow looks away, somewhat embarrassed. " It's ok, honey, I know how you felt about her".

"Tara, baby, I love you!" Willow insists, " You know I do!"

" Yes, honey, I know" Tara says, smiling." That doesn't mean you didn't love Buffy, too".

" Of course I loved Buffy" Willow says, denying the implication, " She was my best friend. Almost like a sister!".

" W-Willow, please, honey, don't do that" Tara says.

"Do what, Tara?" Willow says, innocently." I don't understand what you mean!"

" Willow? Honey, I can see what's right in front of me, baby" Tara says, firmly." You loved Buffy, but more than as a friend".

" Tara, No!" Willow says," That's just not… " But Tara puts a finger to Willow's lips, to silence her.

" You … trying to spare my feelings by lying hurts more than the truth" Tara says, gently. Willow looks down at her feet, ashamed. Tara lifts her chin, smiling at Willow, " Honey, it's ok. I know you'd never do anything to hurt me" Tara smiles, "but you have to face the truth of why you're doing this. I know you love me, I've no doubts about that." Tara pauses. This next part is hard for her," but you loved Buffy, too. I could see it when she came in the room. You're face would get this special light reserved for her" She stops. It's harder than she thought," I admit, at times, I was jealous. But I realize you were more in love with me. So, I accepted what couldn't be changed." She reaches out, and strokes Willow's face. " Look me in the eyes and tell me I'm wrong, honey"

Willow can't. Tara almost wishes she could.

" It's not just for me, Tara" Willow says, " I admit … I… have some selfish motives. I miss her, I can't deny that. Though, I think you're wrong about the other" Tara just looks at will patiently, " Ok, maybe not entirely wrong" Willow admits, " But this is hurting Dawnie, too. She's acting strong, but I can see how Buffy's death is hurting her badly" Tara nods. She has to agree. Dawn is troubled, though she tries to hide it." And there's Faith", Willow continues, " she's suffering badly. I accidentally walked up on her at Buffy's grave the other day," Tara gives Willow a look, " Ok, I moved away, because I saw her there. But she was really in bad shape, Tara. That's the truth!" Willow insists, " you can see how hard it's been for her. She doesn't sleep, she doesn't eat hardly. She's working on nerve and bone."

" I'm not saying you're being selfish, honey" Tara says," But you have to admit to yourself it's not just for them. You're thinking of using very powerful and dark magicks, Willow" Tara asserts," You motives have to be truthful. Lying, even to yourself, about why you're doing this can lead to real darkness. It can cause some really bad consequences. So, whatever you do, be honest in your heart about this. Use caution, don't rush into it! ".

" I'm going to be careful, Tara" Willow protests, " I'm not going to be willy-nilly about it. It's not going to be easy, but I know we can do this. We'll need some help though."

" Help?" Tara asks, " What kind of help?"

" We'll need at least two more people to complete the spell" Willow says, " reading it over, it requires one person to represent each of the four primary elements." Tara nods. That makes sense.

" Also, we'll need an urn of Osiris" Willow says, " that's critical for the spell to work".

Tara's brow furls. She's not familiar with this spell, but Dawn didn't require that for her spell. That she does know.

" Can I see the spell you're researching, Willow?" Tara asks. Willow points at the open page in the book. _ Spell of Restoration ._ Tara looks questioningly at Willow.

" I know it's not a standard resurrection spell, Tara. But I researched it. It restores what has been lost through magical means. It seems less dangerous, more likely to succeed," Willow explains, " It hopefully won't have the possibilities of side effects that a resurrection spell would."

" It's safer?" Tara asks, not convinced.

" Than a resurrection spell? Yes. But it won't work except for something like Buffy's case," Willow says," and there is still possible consequences".

" Ok" Tara finally decides. " I still don't like it, Willow, but …ok".

" We're still going to need two more people" Willow says, quietly.

" So, that would be Dawn and Faith?" Tara asks.

" Ummm… no. I don't think so" Willow says, " they … I'd hate to get their hopes raised, and then it not work. They've been through enough, I think. Don't you?"

Tara nods her agreement. She wasn't too happy about bringing in Faith and Dawn. Someone else would be better.

" Giles, maybe?" She says hopefully. She knows that Giles could put a lid on this, in case it was needed.

" No, definitely not Giles" Willow rejects that idea, " He definitely wouldn't understand. I was thinking… Xander and Anya, actually".

" Do you think they'll go along with it?" Tara asks, dubiously. " They might not understand, either".

" They will, once I explain it to them" Willow says, confidently." I know Xander misses Buffy almost as much…" She stops, not wanting to hurt Tara.

" As you do" Tara says quietly. Willow nods reluctantly.

" Anya will go along if Xander asks her to " Willow finishes. " Plus, Anya might be able to find the urn of Osiris. It's very rare. That's going to be a bit of a problem, too."

" You're really going to do this?" Tara asks." There's no way to change your mind?"

" Yes," Willow replies, simply.

" Alright, I'll help you then", Tara says, quietly. " I still think it's wrong. But I'll help you".

" Thank you, Tara" Willow says, coming to her and taking Tara into her arms. She hugs her tightly.

Tara still doesn't like this. She's afraid they're going to do something that'll have tragic consequences. But she can't let Willow do this alone. It's too risky. And she knows Willow will do it, despite her reservations. 

Tara is becoming more and more concerned over Willow's use of magic. It used to be simple spells, or only in cases of extreme emergencies. But now she's beginning to use magic more. It's making Tara rather uncomfortable. Willow is smart, and very powerful. But … even the smartest, most careful witch can have a spell backfire.

She just hopes this isn't the time. It could bring back Buffy … wrong. Very wrong. For a moment, Tara is tempted to tell Faith. She knows Faith doesn't trust magic. She knows Faith would most likely be opposed. Yet… this is Buffy we're talking about bringing back. Faith might not be objective. She might even side with Willow on this. Tara sighs. No, telling Faith isn't such a good idea. It might be best to be silent about this.

For now.

* * *

To be continued.


	2. Chapter 2

**Timeless Faith**

By Norwalker

Part 2 of ?

Rating : R for language, sexual situations and violence.

Category: Romance/Angst/Drama

Disclaimer: Most, if not all of the characters depicted here are the property of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, Inc. and Fox. This is a work of fiction; any similarities to anyone living or dead are purely coincidental.

Summary: Third in a series of stories started with " Summer of faith" and continued in "Seasons of faith". In the last book, Buffy died fighting Glorificus, the Hell goddess. This book picks up where that book ended. How does Faith deal with the loss of Buffy? How does life change for the scoobies? Buffy will be with them always, but is there more to it than just memories? Stay tuned.

Spoilers: Possible season 6 and season 7 spoilers. Hope you've watched them by now.

Timeline: Season 6, maybe season 7 and beyond( don't know yet).

WARNING: **_There is always the possibility of major character death_**. Romance between members of the same gender(duh). Sexual situations between members of the same gender. This is an _Alternate Universe_ (AU) story. The real(by the series 'coda' ) relationship between Buffy and Faith never happened here. So if you're looking for the dark, knife wielding, don't give a crap about nothing but me Faith, She's not here.(ok, bit of an exaggeration, as we all know by now that Faith redeemed herself, but the "dark, evil" Faith never got a chance to live here). Violence happens. Adult themes( someday, I plan on being one, too). Sexual situations. All the usual stuff.

* * *

Willow checked her list of ingredients again, making sure everything was assembled.

She was still missing the key item. An urn of Osiris. Without the urn, the rest of the ingredients were useless. It's been extremely discouraging, as finding an urn had been nearly impossible.

Being a modern Wicca, Willow had used the 'Net to search out possible sources. But most had never even heard of the item, and those that had heard of it almost always said that none existed. A few had been helpful, offering to find one(for a fee, of course). Will had been desperate, and had paid the fee to a couple of them. Still without success.

Willow had finally put Anya on it, hoping her demon connections might be more fruitful than her own searches had been. Of course, she wanted to know WHY Willow wanted one of these urns, and she had to agree to meet with Xander and Anya to tell them. It was just as well, anyway, she was going to need their assistance. She was just hoping to put it off as long as she could. But Anya refused to help her locate an urn, until she explained why. Something about it having dangerous powers that could have bad side effects if not used properly. Willow agreed to meet with them that evening, telling Anya she'd explain it all then. But for now, look for the urn.

She sighs as she remembers that night. She arrived at Xander and Anya's apartment about 7pm, bringing Tara for support and back-up.

First thing she did was to swear Anya and Xander to secrecy. It was important that neither Faith nor Dawn learn of anything they talked about. " That goes especially for you, Anya!" Willow emphasized, knowing how Anya, with her literal and up front ways tended to let things slip. Anya appeared a bit hurt, but Willow didn't care. In this case, secrecy was more important than feelings. After discussing it amongst themselves( Xander mostly doing the feather smoothing over the perceived slight Anya felt), they agreed.

Willow briefly outlined the purpose for the urn. She explained about the restoration spell, and how to perform it they required help from Anya and Xander. Xander seemed agreeable, but Anya… well…

" You're WHAT?" Anya said, her voice rising. Willow winced, and Xander tried to calm Anya down.

" Anya, honey?" Xander started, " maybe you should… "

" No, Xander, " Anya cut him off, " you don't know what she's talking about. I don't think she realizes what she's contemplating. Do you, Willow?"

Willow felt the flush creeping up her neck" I'm not a child, Anya," Willow replied, firmly, " I know what I'm doing!"

" Do you really, Willow?" Anya asks, disapprovingly. " Do you have any idea the forces you're playing with? These are powerful, dark magicks required to do this kind of spell. "

" I've been studying this for awhile, Anya. I know it's risky, but I think the restoration spell I'm using has the best chance of success. I'm not going into this blind, you know" Willow says, defensively, " I've been careful."

" She really has been" Tara says, coming to Willow's defense, " She passed over the more dangerous and risky spells. And she's been practicing hard, preparing for it".

" I have no doubt she has" Anya says," But these spells, any of them, are extremely complex. Any wrong word, any interruption at a critical moment, could have unexpected consequences. It could be something as benign as she comes back with a different eye color, or something as bad as she comes back a raving lunatic, or worse."

"Will?" Xander puts in, a little concerned with what Anya's said, "Are you solid with this? It sounds kinda scary, the way Anya puts it"

" I know what I'm doing, Xander, " Willow asserts , "I promise!".

"She's not going in blind, Anya" Tara says," Willow's advance in magic. If anyone can do this, she can"

" I still don't like this!" Anya declares, " I have no doubt with regular magic, you two are quite good. But between you, you've got what? Maybe 10 years experience? Me, I've lived 1000 years. I've seen the results of Resurrection magic. The best ones never are quite right, but the changes are so minor, as not to be important. But … when it goes wrong? Really wrong? It's hell to pay, and quickly!"

"What you're saying is all very well, Anya" Willow says dismissively, adding the clincher, " But, what about Buffy?"

Anya eyes Willow suspiciously, waiting for her to make some disparaging remark about her. Anya, even after nearly 3 years being human, is still insecure in her humanity. Willow, however, doesn't say anything more, letting her question sink in.

Finally, Xander, looking puzzled, pipes up. " The Buffster, Will? What do you mean?"  
" We all saw her…" Willow still has problems with saying the "D" word, but she continues"… die. She jumped into that portal, closing it with her blood. But who's to say where she went? "

" I'm still not following, Will " Xander says, confused.

" What…what if she's trapped? Trapped in some hell dimension?" Willow says, quietly.

"She could be anywhere, Willow. Just because the portal was to a hell dimension, she might not have gone to one," Anya replies. " For all we know, she might be in a dimension that's all flowers and candy( there is one, you know)."

" How likely is that?" Willow asks, resolutely, " the portal was leading into a hell dimension. It's more likely that she was trapped there".

Anya shakes her head, moving away. She's not convinced, but the seed of doubt has been planted. Xander on the other hand, looks shocked.

" Hell dimension, Will? The Buffster? But… I figured she'd be going … " He looks up, indicating a much more pleasant place.

"Xander, her death was by mystical means" Willow says, patiently, " her goodness or badness wouldn't be weighed. It's more like, where did she get sucked into?"

"Willow, honey?" Tara speaks up, " that could go the other way, too. She might have been taken somewhere nice".

" Tara! We don't know that," Willow turns, her face showing her emotions, " While we're here calmly discussing what to do, she might be in unspeakable torment. We've got to do something. I can't live with the idea that Buffy's suffering horribly".

Xander gets up and starts pacing. He looks visibly upset. Anya, away from the group a little, stares at Willow, her face showing her conflicting feelings. Tara, seated next to Willow, is staring at her hands. She knows that Willow's motives in this aren't 100% pure. That's not to say, however, that Willow isn't right, and that Buffy might be in hell. Willow is looking around at the group. The loss of Buffy alone is extremely upsetting to her, but the idea she's suffering infuriates her beyond reason. She can't just sit back and let Buffy suffer. Not when she can do something about it!

Anya seems to come to a decision, and approaches Willow.

" I can't … we can't let Buffy stay in some hell dimension!" Anya declares, coming onboard, " She's … Well… I know she can be unbearably righteous at times, and can be really careless about money and other people's property, and maybe a little stuck up" everybody in the room is looking at her, their expressions not pleased. She continues, " But she's a good person, and I like her! We've got to save her, Willow!"

Willow furls her brow. It's somewhat hard to follow Anya's logic at times, but she's pretty sure she just joined the team. That just leaves Xander.

"Xander?" Willow asks, almost pleading with him," It's up to you. Do we bring her back, save her? I need you to do this spell."

Xander looks worried. What Anya said carries weight with him, but she's even onboard now. But, if Buffy comes back all weird? Not so sure he likes that idea. On the other hand, he doesn't like the idea of Buffy in torment. In a little secret place in his heart, he still carries a tiny crush for the diminutive blonde slayer.

" I don't know any of this magic stuff, Will." Xander replies, " I'm just a carpenter. But, if the rest of you think it's ok … well, I'm in". He hopes he's made the right choice.

" Thanks, Xander" Willow says, her eyes softening, she smiles brightly at him, " I knew I could count on you!"

" Hey… HEY… you're gay now, Willow. No flirting with Xander!" Anya says, her natural jealousy and insecurity reasserting itself. " Go flirt with Faith or something, if you have to do that!"

" I'm not flirting, Anya!" Willow says, turning a little pink in the cheeks. Well, maybe just a tiny bit. After all, she did have a major crush on Xander for years, " Just smiling is all. Geeze, Anya, chill, ok?"

" Will?" Xander says, doing his best to change the subject. Anya jealousy= really bad time, " I'm still kind of clueless on something. Why don't you want to tell Dawn or Faith. I think they'd be crazy nuts about the idea."

" I'd like to tell them, but I'm afraid they wouldn't get it," Willow says, quietly, " You know how Faith is about magic … she totally doesn't trust it. Knowing the possibilities, she'd probably nix the idea." Willow pauses, seeming to think, then continues, " And, careful as I'm going to be, something might go wrong … or it might not work at all, " She looks around the room, trying to read the expression on each person's face. She hadn't mentioned that little possibility. She hoped it wouldn't screw things up. She continues, " I don't want them to get their hopes up, and have them dashed all over again. They're suffering enough. I don't want to make it worse."

"What about Mr. Giles?" Tara asks. She still wants him somehow clued in. In case something goes wrong, he might be able to help.

" Definitely not Giles" Willow says, firmly, " He'll more than likely not understand, and be opposed to the idea". She doesn't mention that Giles is sometimes disapproving of Will's use of magic. To the point he's lectured her on it a couple of times. Grrr, like she's a child!

" But, how're you going to explain her return then?" Anya asks.

"Well, if it works, and turns out ok, I'll just present them with the fait accompli . Thinking they won't send her back" Willow says, smiling.

The group nods in unison. It seems reasonable enough. But Willow isn't quite done.

"One more thing. This spell, as Anya pointed out, is complicated. I have to be able to count on you all to do exactly as I tell you, otherwise…." Willow lets it hang, her expression saying she's not going to be very happy if the spell fails if someone screws it up.

" I think we should put Willow in charge" Tara pipes up, " make sure that all goes as she says, since she is the one coordinating the whole incantation." 

" Do you really think this is gonna work, Will? " Xander asks. Willow nods. He continues, " Ok, then, lets vote. All in favor of making Willow the boss, raise their hands".

Xander raises his hand, as does Tara and Willow. They turn to Anya, who's hesitating. She doesn't like the idea of Willow being boss of her in anything. Xander throws her a look as if saying " just go along with it, honey". She finally acquiesces, and raises her hand.

" Ok, then, it's unanimous. Willow, you're the boss" Xander says, grinning. " You're the boss of us. Don't let it go to your head"

Willow's reverie is interrupted by the phone ringing. She's a little irritated, wondering who that can be. She walks over and picks up the phone.

" Hello…Oh, hey, Anya" Willow says," What? REALLY? Oh, cool, I could kiss you!" Willow says, excitedly." No… no… calm down, I'm not going to kiss you, it's just an expression. Yes, I'm sure I'm not going to kiss you!" Willow says, getting a bit edgy. " So, when will it be here? Really? Good! Great! Yes… Yes… Ok, I'll come pay for it. Yes, now" Willow rolls her eyes. God, does she ONLY think of money? " Ok, I'm on my way now. Yes, now. Yes, I have the money. Ok…ok… bye then".

Willow smiles. Great! They finally got a line on an urn of Osiris. From what Anya said, they should be able to have it in a week. Finally, it's all coming together. Soon, Buffy will be back, and things will go back to normal around here.

Willow, feeling pretty cocky, walks out the front door.

* * *

Faith re-reads the letter, her brow scrunched together in worry.

It's from Hank Summers. He writes that he hasn't heard from Buffy or Dawn in awhile, and was worried. He missed them, so he was planning to come to Sunnydale to see them. It'd be in a couple of months, because he still had some unfinished business(Hah! Wonder what her name is? Faith thought) in Rome, but that he would be calling when it got closer to the time he would be coming.

This is so not good, Faith thinks, folding up the letter. First of all, probably shouldn't have opened it. Addressed to Buffy. Ok, but since Buffy isn't… Faith sighs, thought it might be a good idea. Especially with the Rome return address. But that's really minor, to the big problem. Buffy is… Faith can't bring herself to even think it. When he comes and sees there's no Buffy, just Faith and Willow and Tara looking after Dawn, he's going to hit the roof.

Like he has any right, the prick, Faith thinks. The bastard hasn't been here for his daughters in years. All of a sudden, he has daddyitis? What, did the bimbette he's been shacking up with kick him out? Now the bastard is gonna come here, see that Buffy's gone, and take Dawnie away. Like he'd even pay her any attention. What does he care about her? I mean, ok, I know she isn't really his daughter. That the monks made her and created all the memories. But the memories are strong, even in Faith. She knows it's not real, but it's like she's known her for 3 years rather than 9 months. So how come he hasn't been interested in her, or what's she doing, or how's she doing, til now? Cuz, he doesn't give a rat's patootie about anything except Hank Summers.

Maybe I'm not being fair. I mean, I don't know what went on with his and Joyce's divorce. Maybe there were reasons he didn't come to see the girls(Damn, I still can't get those memories separated). Maybe he really does love them…her… damn(Faith wipes a tear), and maybe it'd be better for the P-nut. She's not happy here, I know. She's grieving for her sister, this house reminds her of her mom and Buffy constantly. I know sometimes she looks at me like I'm some kinda intruder… after all I was just her sister's girlfriend… even if Joyce treated me like a daughter… DAMN( she wipes some more tears). Stop being a baby , Faith. You have to be a grownup now. You gotta think of what'd be best for Dawn!

He **_is_** her father(at least, he thinks he is), and he probably could do good things for her. Give her the things she needs. Especially some sense of family. I mean, she knows he's not her real dad, but … still, he's the closest thing she has to one. Better than me, who doesn't have a clue who her dad is/was/ whatever. I don't give a damn, but she's a kid. She needs some kinda parent. He's doing well in business, I guess(if he's not spending it all on the sluts he hangs with… Faith, be nice! Why? Cause!( Faith sighs) Ok, ok…). He could probably give her things Me and Red and Tara never'll be able to give her. Nice stuff. Even college. Yikes, college. That's something else too. I mean, I'm making ok money swinging a hammer, we do ok. But can I save enough to get P-nut into college? I dunno. I mean, she's bright. Like Willow, real bright with the book stuff, unlike dummy here(ok, not dumb…just dyslexic, still…). She might get a scholarship… that'd help. But there're still the living expenses and books and stuff. That's gonna be some serious change. Even if Will and Tara toss into the pot, not sure we can swing it. Not fair to P-nut not to have the chance. He could do that for her.

What does it matter, anyway? I mean, once he comes here and sees Buffy is… not here, he's gonna take her. Legally he's her father, even if he hasn't exactly been Daddy of the year. Yeah, right Faith. What kinda role model have you been? Huh? I mean, not exactly sister/ mom material here, either. Been trying, but what kinda example to you set for Dawn? Being all the wild girl, before, and being a slayer…yeah, that's really keepin' her safe. And god, if he finds out me and Buffy were lovers? Oh crap on a stick up my ass, that's gonna be so bad. I can just hear the " What kind of household are you raising my daughter in? Two pairs of lesbians? God… Blah de blah blah blah". But the way people think, he'll get the point, not me, not Red or Tara….shit. Like Mr. Run around Europe with your secretary/whore is such a great example. Oh, but he's straight! And He's her father. And you're nothin' but some street kid who took advantage of his poor confused daughter. The PRICK!!!!

Faith, in anger, sweeps her hand across the counter, breaking a glass. She gets a disgusted look on her face, and gets up to pick up the pieces. She accidentally cuts herself, and swears. She finishes picking up the shards, then gets a broom and dustpan and cleans up the remainder. She goes upstairs to the bathroom and bandages her hand.

Oh, real mature, Faith. That'll prove what a good ….? … guardian… you are for Dawnie. Can't control you're temper worth crap, girl. " What if you lost your temper at Dawn, and hit her?" they'll ask… crap, I'd never hit Dawnie… God, I … love P-nut. She's like my lil sis. Yeah, she's a pain in the ass sometimes. Yeah, she's not easy to live with(lots of the time). She can be a real brat. But… sometimes she does something so sweet, it just blows you away. Like the other night, she could see I was kinda depressed(yeah, that's news, huh?). A little while later, she comes in with a mug of hot chocolate… with the marshmallows on top. She knows I love hot chocolate…I got a sweet tooth the size of Alaska. It always makes me feel better, for some reason. And she just gave it to me, like it was no big. But it was a big. When I looked up at her, and smiled, she just gave me a hug, like saying " I love you, Faith, and it's gonna be ok". Like, she's the adult, comforting me. God. That's what I mean. How can ya not love someone like that? Who'd think to do something like that? She's special, just like Buffy is… was… DAMN – DAMN- DAMN!!!

Faith starts feeling the tears roll again, and stands clutching the sink as the sadness overwhelms her, again. She bites her lips so she won't cry out loud, in case Dawn comes home. She doesn't want her to be upset. Poor kid's upset enough already, Faith thinks. She finally gets herself back under control, and splashes water on her face. She looks in the mirror, and wonders if the ache will ever get less. She kinda doubts it.

" Hey… I'm Home" Dawn calls out, from downstairs. "Anybody here?"

" I'm upstairs, P-nut… Be down in a minute!" Faith calls from the bathroom. She checks herself in the mirror, and then it hits her. The letter! It's still on the counter in the kitchen! Oh… CRAP!!!!

Faith rushes out of the bathroom and runs downstairs, taking two steps at a time. She rushes into the kitchen… just in time to see Dawn reading the letter. Dawn looks up, her face flushed.

"What's going on, Faith?" Dawn asks." Why'd you read this letter? It's addressed to Buffy and me!" Dawn says. " What… gave you the right to read it?"

Faith stands quietly, mortified and ashamed. " I'm sorry, Dawnie" Faith says.

"Sorry? God, Faith, that's so … lame. You read my letter!" Dawn says, upset. " Do I open your mail?"

"No" Faith says, blushing." I just saw who it was from, and I…."  
"What? You what, Faith?" Dawn says, voice rising, " Thought you'd get a thrill, or a laugh out of it? Well, did you? DID YOU?"

"No, " Faith says quietly.

" Do I open your mail, Faith? Do I read your private stuff?" Dawn bluffs. She hopes Faith never learns she actually read her journal. Hey, I got a right to know who my sister was…well, you know!

I'm sorry, Dawnie. I just… well, when I saw it was from your dad, I got worried." Faith makes as to explain, but it sounds kinda lame, even to her.

"Worried? Oh, really? " Dawn says, dismissively, " Why worried, Faith?"

" Dawnie, if … well, when he gets here, and sees Buffy is… gone" Faith grips her hands, trying to not lose her control, " Well, he's gonna like… take you away, probably."

"Yeah? Well, probably be better anyway!" Dawn says, a little spitefully, but a note in her voice, a quaver, contradicts her words, " I mean, that'd be better for you and Will and Tara, right? You don't have to look after me anymore. You can get rid of me, like I know you want to!"

"DAWNIE!!!" Faith shouts, losing control for a second. She continues, quieter, " Dawnie, honey, no! I … God, no! I don't want to get rid of you. What makes you think that?" Faith asks, genuinely puzzled, and somewhat hurt.

"C'mon, Faith, I'm not an idiot. I know the only reason you three are here is cuz of Buffy. Cuz she made you promise to look out for me!" Dawn says, angrily, " you don't care about me!"

"Dawnie that's not true!" Faith says, emphatically . " Buffy did ask me to watch out for you, in case. That's true. But even if she hadn't I woulda anyway. Dawnie, you're like my lil sis, too . Don't you know that?"

"Yeah, sure" Dawn says, cynically, " How can you love something that's not real?"

"DAWN!!!" Faith yells, for the second time in five minutes, " Why are you still thinking that?"

"Cuz, it's true!" Dawn replies, obstinately. " I'm not real, never will be real!"

"Dawn, that's so bogus!" Faith insists. " If you're not real, I'm not real either. This house isn't real, none of it's real!"

Dawn looks at Faith like she's lost her mind. But Faith continues anyway.

" Didn't Buffy get through to you?" Faith asks, amazed." Didn't she convince you? You're real, you're a Summers woman, as much as you're mom was, or Buffy was" Dawn shakes her head, turning away. Faith takes hold of her arms, and turns her back towards herself. She continues, " Look at me Dawn" Dawn turns her head away, " Look at me, Dawn!" Faith says, more firmly. Dawn turns, her face blank like a mask, " Didn't what Buffy did, that night, say anything to you?" Dawn tries to keep her face blank, but her lip begins to quiver, " Dawn, honey, if you and she weren't…sisters, of the same blood, do you think her sacrifice would've worked?" Dawnie shakes her head, her lip quivering more, and big tears forming in her eyes, " Honey… you're as real as anyone. She knew that. She wanted you to have a life, Dawn. She wanted you to grow up, find someone to love, be married, all the good stuff. If you weren't real, do you think she would've bothered?" Dawn shakes her head again, the tears rolling, a little sob escapes her. Faith's heart melts, and she pulls Dawn close, " P-nut, you mean everything to me. Don't you know that? I love you, Dawnie, as if you were my sister. You're special to me, Dawnie!"

Dawn clings to Faith, her body shaking with sobs. Through the sobs and tears, she manages to get out " Why? Why'd she do it, Faith?"

Faith lifts Dawn's chin. She gently brushes away the tears. " Because, baby, she knew she had to stop the apocalypse. The world would've been destroyed, we'd have a hell on earth, if she hadn't jumped. That's what we do, honey. That's our destiny as slayers. To give our lives for the world, to fight the darkness". Faith smiles gently at Dawn, all the time inside wondering again why Buffy did it, left her alone. It still hurt like a heated rod through the heart.

" She didn't have to , Faith!" Dawn says, " She… I should've done it. I should've jumped. It was my fault that the portal open. I'm the key, Faith. I should've died! ME! It should've been ME!" Dawn sobs out, her guilt and heartbreak making it all the worse for her.

"Oh, P-nut" Faith says, holding her closer, " She did it because she loved you. She loved you, baby, above all else. You're her sister. She wanted you to live, to love and the experience everything life had to give you. " Faith feels her own throat tightening with emotion, "Baby, look at me" Dawn lifts her head, looking into Faith's eyes, " She did it because she knew, as a slayer, her time here was limited. She knew that she would die, if not then, then someday soon after. It's our fate and destiny as slayers. We never live long lives, honey." Dawn looks miserable, thinking that Faith is including herself in that. She… doesn't even want to think about that. Faith goes on, " Thing is, you living allows her to live, too. Don't you see that?"

Dawn shakes her head. It doesn't make any sense to her.

"You're the last of the Summer's women, baby," Faith explains, " If you'd gone that night, she'd be the last. The line would be gone soon. But, you're alive. You can carry the line forward. You aren't fated like we are, baby. You can live to a ripe old age, have lots of kids, and make sure the Summers' legacy continues. That's what she meant you have to live for her, honey. She lives on, through you. Through your kids, and grand kids. It's a hard world, Dawn. That's why she said the hardest thing is living in this world. With all it's suffering and pain and misery. You know how hard it is , P-nut" Faith smiles at her, and Dawn smiles back. " But you gotta do it, Dawnie. You gotta live, so what she did means something."

Dawn nods, understanding. She finally understands what Buffy wanted from her. She's still sad, but her heart feels lighter, now.

" I miss her Faith" Dawn says, quietly, " I miss her so much!" 

" I know, honey, I miss her too" Faith says, her voice cracking just a little, " I miss her tons!"

Dawn hugs Faith tightly, trying to comfort Faith like she's always comforting Dawn. Faith hugs her back, and gently breaks away.

"Are we a couple a weepy babies, or what?" Faith quips, handing Dawn a tissue. Dawn wipes her eyes, and blows her nose, and smiles a little bit. Faith reaches out, and strokes Dawn's hair, " So, P-nut, feeling a little better?" Dawn nods.

Dawn goes over , and picks up the letter. She holds it up.

"What're we gonna do?" Dawn asks, a little worried now. " About this?" She waves the letter.

Faith looks at her, and smiles, reassuringly.

" Don't know yet, Dawn, but I'll figure something out" Faith says, with more confidence than she feels.

She hasn't a clue how she's gonna deal with that. Hank Summers has the legal system on his side. She knows that it's gonna be a tough fight, and she stands a good chance of losing.

But the one thing she does know, when it comes to Dawn.

She's not giving her up without a fight!

* * *

Faith shows Willow the letter. Willow has a frown on her face.

"This isn't good" Willow says, stating the obvious, " Do you think he'll try to take Dawn?"

"Oh yeah, Red" Faith says, " He'll take one look at the situation, and have Dawnie outta her faster than you can say Samantha Stevens " Faith says, making a little witch joke, Trust me, it didn't go over well.

Willow thinks for awhile, then says" Maybe I can do a spell. Something so he doesn't remember that Buffy isn't here… or maybe better, a glamour to make you appear to be Buffy to him!" Willow smiles, pleased with herself.

"Ummm… ok, and will you be giving me Buffy's memories, too?" Faith asks, quietly.

Willow frowns, she hadn't thought about that.

"We'll find a way, Faith" Willow says, confidently, " We'll keep Dawn. I promise!"

" I wish I were as confident as you , Red" Faith says, feeling a little discouraged. But then she perks up a little, " I'll tell you one thing though. He's gonna take Dawn outta here over my dead body. No way I'm not gonna fight this!"

"Don't worry, it won't come to that " Willow says, enigmatically. Faith looks at her, with an arched brow.

"Well, anyway, I gotta patrol, so… you and Tara are on Dawn duty, ok?" Faith says. Willow nods affirmatively.

Faith reaches out, and squeezes Willow's arm. Willow smiles. Faith turns, grabs her coat, and walks out the front door.

Willow follows her to the door, watching the dark haired slayer disappear into the night. She smiles slightly.

" Don't worry, Faith. Soon Buffy'll be back, and it'll all be well. We're all gonna be a family again. Happy again".

Willow closes the door.

* * *

To be continued.


	3. Chapter 3

**Timeless Faith**

By Norwalker

Part 3 of ?

Rating : R for language, sexual situations and violence.

Category: Romance/Angst/Drama

Disclaimer: Most, if not all of the characters depicted here are the property of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, Inc. and Fox. This is a work of fiction; any similarities to anyone living or dead are purely coincidental.

Summary: Third in a series of stories started with " Summer of faith" and continued in "Seasons of faith". In the last book, Buffy died fighting Glorificus, the Hell goddess. This book picks up where that book ended. How does Faith deal with the loss of Buffy? How does life change for the scoobies? Buffy will be with them always, but is there more to it than just memories? Stay tuned.

Spoilers: Possible season 6 and season 7 spoilers. Hope you've watched them by now.

Timeline: Season 6, maybe season 7 and beyond( don't know yet).

WARNING: **_There is always the possibility of major character death_**. Romance between members of the same gender(duh). Sexual situations between members of the same gender. This is an _Alternate Universe_ (AU) story. The real(by the series 'coda' ) relationship between Buffy and Faith never happened here. So if you're looking for the dark, knife wielding, don't give a crap about nothing but me Faith, She's not here.(ok, bit of an exaggeration, as we all know by now that Faith redeemed herself, but the "dark, evil" Faith never got a chance to live here). Violence happens. Adult themes( someday, I plan on being one, too). Sexual situations. All the usual stuff.

* * *

Faith feels the sunlight dance over her face. She makes a small mewling protest sound, hoping it would go away. She knew she has to get up… damn. She hates getting up early… but when you work, and have a kid to get to high school, and school is on the OTHER side of town, you gotta get up. Gotta. Getting up. Right now. 'K, in just a minute.

Faith snuggles deeper into the covers, feeling the warmth bathe over her. She is in that gray area between sleep and wakefulness where you're aware of things around you, but you feel the seductive tug of sleep. She loved this, it was that time before she had to open her eyes and face another day without Buffy. Despite everything she's done , she can still smell Buffy in the bed they shared, her soft scent wafting up from some hidden place. Here, in this space, she can pretend that Buffy's still alive, and that she's sleeping next to her. She can almost hear Buffy's soft breathing, and the cute little snores and sniffles she makes while sleeping. As she lay there, pretending to sleep, thinking about her lover, she feels a warm hand slip into hers. It's soft, but roughened from years of holding a stake. It squeezes her hand gently, and Faith's eyes fly open. She sees Buffy, smiling that seductive bedroom smile of hers, her eyes only half open.

"Heya, sleepy" Buffy whispers so not to disturb the rest of the house.

"B-B-Baby??" Faith replies, softly. She can feel her heart starting to do jumping jacks in her chest. This can't be. This can't BE!

" Mmmm. It's so unfair, Faith" Buffy pouts, " you're even cute when you sleep. God, you're gorgeous. No one should be as gorgeous as you after they've been asleep" Buffy smiles softly at her.

"Y-Y-Your not gone?" Faith asks, her mind reeling , her heart banging against her chest like a sledgehammer. This can't be real, this isn't real. God, … it can't be.

"Gone? Silly girl! Why would I be gone?" Buffy giggles softly. " Now, if you asked if my mind were gone, well… after last night, sweet cheeks, that'd be a whole different novel." Buffy snuggles in the bed." Mmmm…. mmmm… mmmm… that was so nice". She licks her lips, as if trying to still taste Faith on them. She squeezes Faith's hand again.

Faith feels Buffy's hand squeeze hers, and she knows. It was just a dream. A nightmare. A horrible nightmare. Buffy wasn't dead… she's alive!!! Yes, oh god… it was so real… so terrible, I gotta tell her… not now…not now…

Buffy stretches under the covers, and makes a whimpering protest' Do we have to get up? I just wanna stay in bed all day… mmmm… munch on chocolate and Faith. Mmmm… my favorite snacks" Buffy giggles, looking at Faith.

" No, baby, we don't gotta" Faith says, " We can stay in bed all day. I love you so much, B" Faith says, her voice quavering. "So much sometimes it hurts". Faith feels the tears stinging at her eyes, but she just lets them. She's just so happy Buffy is with here , now, forever.

"Ooooh, Faith, … what's wrong, baby?" Buffy coos, in her little girl sing-song voice." You look so sad!" Buffy reaches out, and Faith can feel her fingertips caress over her cheek. She feels the tears dropping on her cheeks. " You're crying!" Buffy says, leaning over.

"I-I had the most horrible dream, Buffy" Faith says, her heart pounding in her chest. " You…you died, and left me and Dawnie alone. It… was a nightmare. God, it was so real!" Faith is starting to sob.

"Awww, Silly-Billy Faithy Waify don't cry" Buffy coos, " I'm right here. I'll always be right here, baby cakes. You know that". Buffy smiles at Faith , running her fingers over Faith's soft cheek. Faith just is in heaven, she doesn't care about anything else right now, Buffy is here, that's all that matters.

" You're so beautiful, B. God, I can't get enough of you" Faith whispers softly. She just looks at Buffy as the sunlight plays in her shimmering golden hair.

" You're such a liar" Buffy blushes, reaching up and feeling her hair, " God, a cat crawled up and died in my hair" Buffy giggles, trying to smooth out the bed hair." Not everybody can look as gorgeous as you do in the morning. I'm so envious!"

" Kiss me, B. I need a kiss so bad you don't know" Faith begs

Buffy puts her hand to her mouth and breaths. Her nose wrinkles up. " No way, cutie, unless I wanna kill you. I got stinky breath!" Buffy pulls away, starting to get up. " C'mon, lazybones. Nice as it'd be to stay in bed all day, we gotta get our asses moving. Dawn starts high school, and that means a trip across town. C'mon, you sex goddess… get outta bed before I attack you again" Buffy teases. Faith feels Buffy's hand releasing hers, and she gets scared.

" Please, B, don't leave me! Stay with me. Gimme a kiss, please?" Faith is almost beside herself in fear. Somehow she knows if Buffy gets out of bed, she'll go again. She'll be gone again.

" Faith, God , you're incorrigible. " Buffy stands up, the sunlight playing over her naked body as she reaches for a robe. Faith feels her heart flutter, she gets this way every time she sees the small blonde naked. Buffy puts on the robe, and looks over her shoulder." C'mon, cutems, get up" She says, seductively, " let me brush my teeth, and I'll give you all the kisses you want". She starts towards the bedroom door.

"Please, baby, just a few more minutes. Stay just a few more minutes with me" Faith is almost in tears.

"Faith" Buffy says, her tone light, but her face looking a little worried, "what's your deal today? You know we got so much to do. Get up and lets get goin', baby" Buffy walks out the door. Faith watches her go, feeling her heart growing cold and sinking in her chest.

Faith's eyes pop open, and she's alone. She looks over to Buffy's side of the bed, but as it's been for the last 4 months, the pillow is undisturbed… no one's been sleeping on it. She sighs. Another day alone… another day without Buffy. God, how can she get through it?

She turns over, and nearly starts out of her skin. Dawn is standing over her, her intense blue eyes looking down on her. she's dressed in a robe, and her hair is hanging loose, but it looks like it's been brushed. She's smirking at the still reclining Faith, her arms folded over her chest.

" C'mon, lazybones. Don't you know what day this is?" Dawn needles her," First day of high school. I'm so jazzed. Get up, get up, get up" She starts tugging at Faith's covers." Up, up, up, up, up!" She giggles. Faith, who always sleeps au naturel, pulls back, not particularly wanting Dawn to be aware of that fact.

"Knock it off, P-nut. I'm coming" Faith says, chuckling." You're such a pest!" Faith teases her, " I know you're so not gonna be this excited a week into school !".

" Yes I am!" Dawn calls over her shoulder. " Hurry up, Faith. Don't wanna be late!"

Dawn practically dances out of the room in her excitement. Faith just watches her, and shakes her head.

'What a nut. So excited over school. God, If I didn't know better, I'd swear she was Red's sister, and not B's' Faith sighs.' Aw, B, I wish you could see her. She's so sweet. A pest, pain in the ass, make me crazy with her crap, but sometimes she's just so sweet." Faith stands up… then wavers a little. She can still feel the effects of last night's drinking.' I'm sorry, baby' Faith says, looking at the picture of Buffy she keeps on her dresser, ' I been bad again. I know I shouldn't, but sometimes I just need it so I can sleep. It just hurts too much sometimes. I know, I know. I gotta be good. I got the P-nut to watch out for. And I'm good… most of the time. But…' Faith grabs her robe, and drapes it over herself. She reaches out, picks up the picture, and as she does every morning, gives it a kiss. She looks at the smiling blonde in the picture, wearing a hat and sunglasses, mugging for the camera. She took this picture of B at the last picnic they went on together. Buffy was wearing some frou-frou sun dress with large flowers, and those cute strappy sandals. Faith had dressed up in some outfit Buffy insisted on buying for her… they'd gone to Hillman's bluff, which overlooked Sunnydale. Buffy called it her "secret slayer " spot… where she came to think when times were bad. The view was gorgeous, but Buffy eclipsed it all. They just sat and ate, and held hands, and kissed, and watched the sun go down. It was one of the sweetest days they'd spent together. They'd been so happy.

Faith replaces the picture, and walks towards the bathroom. Another day… another lonely, crappy day.

* * *

Tara and Willow are in the kitchen, making breakfast. Normally, breakfast consists of a rushed bowl of cereal in the morning as everyone is in a hurry to start the day. But today is special, in more ways than one. It's Dawn's first day of high school.

Tara is at the stove, putting a final stir on the pancake batter. Willow is fussing with the table, laying out plates, pouring juice. There is already a platter of eggs and bacon on the table. Dawn walks in, just as Willow is finishing up with the juice.

"Whoa, what the deal?" Dawn says, seeing the spread. She looks at Willow and Tara, her face puzzled. " It's not Saturday, or anything."

"It's you're first day in high school, Dawnie" Willow says, almost as jazzed as Dawn. " It's gonna be so cool." She shoves a little wrapped package towards Dawn. Dawn's eyes go wide, and she looks up. "What's this? For me? " She's grinning ear to ear. Like the kid she is, she tears into it. She opens the box, and inside is a small necklace, with a small, smooth stone attached. She looks at the two women.

" This is sooo pretty" She says, holding it up, " what is it?"

"I-It's a healing stone, Dawnie" Tara says, from the stove, " It's good luck".

" When you hit a tough time or something" Willow says, continuing the thought, " just take the stone in your palm and rub it with your thumb. It'll give you a little extra boost". She smiles at Dawn.

" Still with the voodoo stuff, huh guys?" Faith says walking into the kitchen. She stops cold, seeing the table " Wow. It's not Saturday, is it?"

" It's Dawn's first day of high school. Thought she could do with something besides a bowl of sugar frosted sugar" Willow says, with maybe just a touch of aspersion. " And it's not Voodoo, Faith. It's Wicca!".

" Well, excuuuuuse me, Red" Faith says, mockingly. She throws up her hands, seeing Willow looking a touch pissed, " I'm only kidding, honest!" She smiles, and Willow relaxes a little. She looks at the necklace." That's really pretty. Did you thank Red and Tara?" Faith asks.

" Thanks , guys!" Dawn chirps out, " I love it!" She puts around her neck, and fastens the clasp.

" So, Dawnie? Shapes or Rounds? For the pancakes?" Tara asks.   
"Rounds I think" Dawn says, feeling like the star. Which today, she is. She starts putting some eggs and bacon on her plate.

"How about you, Faith?" Tara asks, " Want some pancakes?"

"Nawww, thanks Tara, but I'm kinda off my feed this morning. Feeling a bit queasy. Think I'll stick with coffee" Faith says, heading for the cupboard to get a mug.

Tara looks at Faith , her brow reflecting her worry. Faith isn't one to pass up breakfast, she knows something's wrong. She can feel a sad vibe coming off of her… must've been another Buffy dream. That always upsets her.

Tara's been really worried about Faith lately. Her appetite has been near zilch. She's getting thin, too thin for Faith. And she's been drinking . She's found the bottles that Faith tries to hide in the trash. She never sees her drunk, or even drinking, so she figures she's doing it late at night. She knows by the dark rings under her eyes she has trouble sleeping.

Her heart breaks for her friend. Faith has always just accepted her like she is, and Tara's been grateful. So many people make a deal about her slight stutter, and her shy ways. But to Faith, that's just Tara, and Faith likes her just fine that way. Tara is very fond of Faith, and seeing her so miserable just hurts. It's been four months since Buffy died, and Faith seems as nearly as devastated as the first day. Not when people are watching, but when she thinks she's alone…

This was the main reason she agreed to Willow's crazy plan, If there's a small chance they can bring Buffy back, make Faith happy again, she's all for it. Even though, thinking about the spell, and all it entails, gives her a major case of the wigs. Despite Willow's confidence, Tara knows it's a dangerous and complicated spell. It's really forbidden by the Wicca religion, because it's messing with the natural order of things. Of course, Tara rationalizes it by the nature of Buffy's death… mystical. But it's still risky. If something goes wrong, it can be …nasty. She's read about some cases that went wrong… it still makes her sick.

But she knows Willow is a powerful witch. And she believes in her. So, despite her reservations, she's on board for it. She just prays it all goes right.

Faith finishes her coffee, and looks at her watch.

" Heya, P-nut, we're gonna have to motor soon if we're gonna you to school , and me to work on time" Faith says.

"She's still eating, Faith" Willow says, " Let her finish at least"

Dawn jumps up, ready to go " Done !" she says, heading for the door.

"Hey…hey, hey!" Faith says, calling her back.

"What?" Dawn says, trudging back.

" Whatcha say to Willow and Tara, Dawnie?" Faith asks, eyebrow raised.

Dawn blushes " Sorry. Thanks guys, it was great" She smiles, turns and heads for the door.

"Dawn…your lunch" Tara says, running after her.

"What was that about, Faith?" Willow asks, a little annoyed.

"Huh?" Faith asks, bewildered.

"First you tell her to hurry up or you'll be late, then you call her back and have her say thanks, wasting time" Willow says.

"Well, gee. Red. You and Tara went to a lot of trouble. Thought it was the right thing to do?" Faith says, feeling defensive.

"Well, we know _she _appreciated it. She ate!" Willow says.

" I'm sure it was great, Red." Faith says, agreeably, " Just not hungry. Tummy troubles, ya know?"

" We went to a lot of trouble. At least you could've made the effort, Faith" Willow says, irritated.

" I know you did , Red, " Faith says, calmly, but feeling her own back getting up, " But would've it been better for me to try to force something down, then run to the bathroom cuz I had to heave?"

Willow says nothing, just rolls her eyes as if saying " Why do I even bother?". She turns away.

Faith looks as if she wants to say more, but she decides against it. She turns and walks away.

Tara walks back in the kitchen, passing Faith as she leaves. She feels the vibe, and goes to Willow, who's washing dishes.

"Hey, sweetie" Tara says, " I'll get those".

"No it's fine" Willow says, a little briskly. " You made breakfast. I'll clean up".

Tara's brow furrows. " What's up, Willow?" She asks.

" Nothing, " Willow says, evasively, " just gotta get this stuff done before school".

" Ok, Willow. What happened?" Tara asks, to the point.

" What is with her?" Willow asks, referring to Faith. " I mean, we went to a lot of trouble to make this breakfast. Would it have killed her to at least make an effort to eat something? She's can't take 5 minutes for breakfast?"

"She wasn't feeling well, Willow" Tara says, reasonably, " she said that, you know".

"She probably would've felt better if she had something for breakfast besides coffee" Willow says, " it's not healthy to skip breakfast."

Tara shoots Willow a look. " Ok, Willow, what's really bothering you?" She asks.

" I just told you, Tara, …." Willow starts, but Tara cuts her off.

" Willow?" Tara says, in her 'don't even try to b.s. me Willow' tone.

"When did she become Dawnie's mom? I mean, did you hear her?" Willow complains

"What? I don't understand, Willow?" Tara says, really puzzled.

" Twice she sat there, or stood there, and told Dawn to thank us. I mean, geeze. Like we're strangers here or something." Willow says, scrubbing harder on the pan to work out some anger.

" Oh, she's terrible" Tara gently chides Willow, " Correcting Dawn's manners. She's a beast!"

"Tara!" Willow cries, turning towards Tara, " That's not the point. Sure, it would've been nice if Dawn had said thanks on her own, but even so, she's acting like we're guests , and she's Dawn's parent. We're all helping with Dawn. I don't see her helping Dawn with her studies".

" She's dyslexic, Willow, remember?" Tara says, " She's has a hard time reading. And, not like Dawn's had any studies, really. Except maybe for the little bits of magic we've been teaching her."

" I'm talking about last year, Tara" Willow says. " We helped a lot with Dawn's studies".

" Buffy was still… here then, Willow" Tara says quietly. " She was looking after Dawn then. Faith helped her then, too".

" Yeah, well, now that Buffy's … not here… it seems like Faith is shoving us out of the picture!" Willow says.

"No she's not, Willow" Tara says, " She lets us have plenty of time with Dawnie. I think I know what's upsetting you".

Willow says nothing, concentrating on the pan she's scrubbing.

" You're just a little jealous because Dawn likes to hang with Faith, too". Tara says

" I'm so not jealous!" Willow denies, " That's silly!"

" Is it? Because the way I see it , Dawn is like a connection to Buffy for the both of you. You both love Buffy" Tara says. Willow starts to protest, but Tara stops her. " We've talked about this, Willow. Don't be denying it. I'm not saying you're IN love with Buffy. But you both love Buffy, and being with Dawnie reminds you of her, in a way. So, you both, not just you, honey, Faith too, you both resent time the other gets with her. You both are strong willed," Willow starts to protest again, " Willow, please, I live with you, remember? You're both strong willed, and I'll bet you both failed Sharing in kindergarten."

"That's so not true, Tara!" Willow says. I got a D.

" What you both have to learn is that Dawn needs you both" Tara says, gently. " You both are like… moms and sisters to her. So, stop fighting with Faith over Dawn, honey, and just be happy Dawnie's got two women who love her so much… well, three " Tara smiles, including herself.

" Yeah, well… ok" Willow grumbles. But she knows Tara's right. But admit it? Uh-huh.

"Oooo you're going to be my lil grumbly witch?" Tara teases her. She comes up behind her, and tickles Willow.

"STOP THAT" Willow giggles.

" Won't! " Tara says, tickling her some more.

STOP! STOP!" Willow begins to laugh. Tara takes her in a clutch, and they stand, face to face.

" Now, isn't this nicer?" Tara says, leaning in for a kiss.

" Oh, most definitely nicer!" Willow agrees, kissing her.

* * *

Faith comes out of the house, burning a little under the collar. What is with Red, anyway? Where's she get off getting all huffy? I'm not feeling so good, I didn't mean to insult anyone. God, sometimes…she can be such a … c'mon , Faith, you weren't all sweetness and light, either. Just chill, girl.

Dawn is waiting by the car, looking impatient. She wants to GO!

"P-nut, I got somethin' for ya too, it being your first day in high school and all" Faith says, smiling.

"Really?" Dawn says, getting excited. "What? Where is it?"

"Aren't we the little greedy guts?" Faith laughs. Dawn blushes, feeling embarrassed. Faith continues" It's ok, sweetie, I'm just yanking your chain. It's in the car. Why don't ya get it out?" Faith grins.

Dawn turns, and takes a box out of the back seat. She shows it to Faith, who nods affirmatively. Dawn looks at the box, trying to guess what's in it.

" What is it, Faith?" Dawn asks, rattling the box.

" Might be easier if you just opened it, Dawn" Faith teases her. She knows Dawn likes to guess. " Now remember, it's nothing cool like Tara and Red gave you, but I thought you might like it".

Dawn, her curiosity piqued, tears off the ribbon, and opens the box. Her eyes go wide, and she pulls out a leather jacket, somewhat like the one that Faith is wearing. She starts to jump up and down and squeal.

" I love it! I LOVE IT" She squeals. Faith makes a motion for her to hold it down. Dawn calms down, and shrugging off her old coat, puts on the jacket. She's grinning from ear to ear.

" This is so totally cool, Faith!" Dawn says.

" Yeah, well, it's no big. It's not as nice as what Red and Tara gave you. They made that special for you. This I just bought" Faith says, " I couldn't make you nothin nice like that".

" I love it!" Dawn says. She comes over and gives Faith a hug. Faith smiles.

"Well, you know me, school and stuff. Not my big thing. But I know being cool is always important… so I figured this'll help. And I saw you jonesing on mine. So I thought I'd protect my jacket, and get you your own".

Dawn models the jacket. Faith gives her the thumbs up.

"So, am I cool or what?" Dawn asks, grinning.

"Totally, girlfriend!" Faith says, " Hey, this being your first day and all, what say we make an impression and show up in style?" Faith grins.

"What do you mean?" Dawn asks, puzzled.

"Let's say we're so _NOT_ taking the mom mobile today" Faith grins. Dawn looks confused.

Faith walks into the garage, and wheels out her bike. Dawn's eyes go wide.

" You're bike? You mean it? Really?" Dawn is getting all excited again. " But you hardly ever ride that these days".

"Yeah," Faith says quietly. Since Buffy's … been gone, riding the bike hasn't been as much fun for Faith. " But I think today's a good reason , don't you?" She grins.

" Oh, yeah!" Dawn agrees. " this is so… so!"

Walking to the car, Faith grabs her toolbox, and attaches it to the rear fender of the bike, strapping down with bungee cords. She smiles as it reminds her of the time she and Buffy rode this bike from L.A. to Sunnydale. Who woulda thought?

Faith hands Dawn a helmet. Dawn puts it on, and smiles. For a brief moment Faith sees Buffy standing there. It makes her heart do a flip. Faith smiles, and hops on the bike. She kick starts it, and it roars to life. Dawn hops on the back, and they're off.

Dawn wraps her arms around Faith's waist as she maneuvers expertly through traffic. She leans her head on Faith's back, and the hum of the motor lulls her into her own thoughts.

Her feelings about Faith had been taking an… interesting turn lately. Before, she just thought of Faith as Buffy's girlfriend. Kinda cool, a lot annoying, you know… typical. It was kinda weird for her to realize that Faith, like her sister, was a slayer. Before that, they'd always thought there was only one slayer at a time. Dawn figured that was why they kinda got along, and at times, didn't. She'd been a little wigged at Buffy and Faith being, well…lovers. Kinda the same when she found out about Tara and Willow. At school it'd made for some hard times, but she learned to just accept it. After all, Buffy was totally weird anyway, what with having a vampire as a boyfriend. Why shouldn't she kinda well… you know? She couldn't see it. She was totally into boys town. But her sister seemed happy, so she just shrugged.

After Buffy … was gone, things started to change for Dawn. Though she did her best to brave it out, not show her feelings, it'd been really tough for her. Mom dying, then Buffy soon after, had just really thrown her world into a loop. Being a mystical energy blob hadn't exactly been helpful, either. Nor did the fact that she was just barely a year old now, rather than 15. She had all these memories she knew in her head were false, but in her heart seemed to be so true. That first month after Buffy's death had been tough, really tough.

Faith had helped her get through that period intact. At least, that's what Dawn believed. Willow and Tara helped, to be sure. She loved them dearly, and they always made time for her. But it was Faith that kept her grounded. Faith was sympathetic, don't even believe otherwise, but she didn't let get away with stuff. She wasn't harsh, but she was definitely firm. Faith had been there, done that, and knew the tricks, better than the other two. She was totally cool about it, too. She didn't humiliate Dawn by calling her bluff in front of everybody. She took her aside, told her what's what, and let her know she was watching her. At first Dawn had resented it, feeling Faith was picking on her. But inside, it was what she needed… someone in charge, who wasn't going to be pushed around. She'd never ever admitted it , nor would she, but she was so glad that Faith took a stand. It gave her a feeling of security.

Thinking back, she realizes that Faith had always been there for her. In one way or another. When Buffy was being a total ogre to her, treating her like some kid, Faith stuck up for her, making Buffy realize that Dawn was growing up. When mom died, and Buffy seemed so remote, Faith lent a shoulder for Dawn to sob on. And when Buffy died, when she jumped into the vortex to save Dawn, Faith was there for her, helped her through that really rough patch. She sensed when Dawn wanted to be alone, and respected that. When Dawn needed someone to hold onto, Faith was there to hold onto. When Dawn had the incredible guilt over Buffy dying for her, Faith made her realize that Buffy wanted to do that, that she wanted Dawn to go on, live, and carry on the Summer's line. That it wasn't Dawn's fault that Buffy died, but Buffy's choice. Faith never once made Dawn feel like she'd wanted her to die instead. Dawn knew that Faith was torn up inside over losing Buffy. Yet each day Faith made Dawn feel like it was good she was alive, and that Buffy had made the right choice.

Dawn leaned her head on Faith's back. She was beginning to realize how important Faith was in her life. She was beginning to bond with Faith, thinking of her as more than a guardian, more than a big sister. Even more than a friend. Whenever Faith came in a room, Dawn was feeling a special happiness, a warm glow. When Faith was sad over Buffy, Dawn felt a sadness in her own heart, beyond her own grieving for her sister. She suspected she was getting a major crush on Faith, and she , strangely enough, liked it. She also knew that Faith didn't share that feeling, and probably never would. Dawn realized that Faith, despite her coolness, despite her giving her some room to be herself, despite treating her like an adult, would never see her like an adult. Not like she saw Buffy , anyway. Dawn found she didn't like that. She wanted Faith to see her as a woman, not a child. But she was smart enough to know that wasn't going to happen. And that she couldn't say what she was feeling. She didn't want the laughter, or worse, the pity. Nope, she had to keep these feelings to herself, never let Faith know what she was feeling. Things were bad enough without Faith getting wiggy on her. Better to just suffer in silence. Even if Faith couldn't deal with it, Dawn certainly could. She was mature, after all.

Faith came roaring up the block to the school. Dawn looked at the group gathering at the front steps, and saw the expressions when Faith's bike did a U turn in the street and came to a halt at the steps… a rather dramatic gesture, but Dawn was eating it up. She saw how the kids were like… blown away. Cool… just totally cool!

" Heya, P-nut, we're here" Faith says. " Think we blew 'em away?"

"Faith, don't call me that please" Dawn says

" Call you what, P-nut?" Faith asks, a little confused… maybe a little hurt.

"THAT! P-nut… it's so… so… babyish. I'm so not a baby, you know?" Dawn says

"Oh," Faith says, voice low and a little contrite, " Sorry P…er… Dawn. I didn't know. I just always called you that. Cuz you're so cute I could eat ya right up!" Faith grins, but her eyes are a little sad.

Dawn is sorry almost at once. "I'm sorry, Faith… I just…"

" No big, honey. I know. You're all grown up now, cute little pet names aren't so cute anymore… I got it" Faith says, smiling. " You know how we fogies can be." She shifts gears, "anyway, Willow's going to pick you up, right?" She asks.

"Yeah, after school" Dawn says. She knows she hurt Faith, and she wished now she hadn't . I can be so dumb sometimes! She thinks to herself.

"Well, have a good 'un, 'K? " Faith says, dropping her visor back down. " Seeya later, Dawnie" She kick- starts the bike, and pulls away, heading back to the other side of town.

Dawn stands there, watching Faith disappear in the distance, feeling all of 2" tall. She kicks herself for being such a dummy. She turns, and feeling a lot less jazzed than just five minutes ago, she walks into the school.

* * *

Night has l fallen over Sunnydale. There's a full moon out tonight, and the night is bright, casting long dark shadows from the trees. Most people are at home, enjoying their families, or watching TV, or doing the usual stuff they do. Others are out at the Bronze, or one of the other bars in Sunnydale, trying to create a new life for themselves. Then there's one figure alone, walking through the cemeteries and parks, watching out for the other denizens of the night. Doing what she's born to do, fulfilling her destiny.

Faith enjoys the night. Unlike Buffy, she feels at home in the half darkness… to her it brings some strange solace. She's as comfortable in the night as are the creatures that she hunts. For she's, above all, a huntress. She enjoys the pursuit, the confrontation, and the kill. All are satisfying to her on a deep level. She once told Buffy that slaying made her hungry and horny… but it was deeper than that. It stirs passions in her, some dark, some good. Again, unlike Buffy, she's never seen slaying as a job, but as a calling. Something she's good at, without thinking about it. Even more than Buffy, this comes naturally to her. Like breathing. She needs it to feel whole.

Faith is wandering through Restfield cemetery, doing routine patrol. It's been a pretty quiet night… but that's been true ever since Buffy had defeated Glory. The hellmouth wasn't attracting the beasties like it used to. Maybe it's gone inactive. Oh well, give it another half hour or so, and call it quits, she thinks.

Faith is still going over this morning in her head. She often uses the quiet times of patrol to do her thinking. Most other times, she's too busy to think about things. This is her quiet time, her time to reflect. To sort things out, and make them make sense.

A small rueful grin comes to her face. She hid it, but Dawn's remarks had really cut deep this morning. It's stupid, she knows that. Dawn was just being Dawn, trying to grow up way too fast… like her sister and Faith grew up way too fast. Faith knew it's just a little thing; hell, it was just a nickname after all.

It hurt, nonetheless. Though she tosses out her little nicknames casually, she really gives some thought to them. To her, they defined who the person is. Dawn, rejecting P-nut, kinda felt like she's rejecting Faith. To Faith , her pet names for people are a gesture of affection, it show she cares enough to bother. Having it rejected is sorta like telling Faith that her affections aren't wanted. It's silly, of course, she thought. It didn't mean that Dawn cares any less. She knows that in her head… if she could only get her heart to understand it. Sigh. Gee, mom, you're little girl is growing up. God, I get maudlin at times.

Faith looks up, and realizes she's near Buffy's grave. She figures she'll wander over, and say hi. Not as if she didn't say hi like every week, but hey… she misses Buffy, and visiting her grave gives her some small comfort. She changes direction, heading towards Buffy's grave, when she comes to a dead stop. Someone… or something… is standing by Buffy's grave. Her slayer sense is working overtime, so this wasn't some ordinary civilian. Her mood sours, and she starts moving cautiously. Some demon or vamp is going to try to disturb my baby's grave, Faith thought, feeling her anger rise. Well, screw that. He or she is gonna learn you don't mess with Buffy's grave… learn it the hard way… at the end of my stake!

She begins to move in circles, looking for other demons or vamps in the area. But there're none, just the one standing near Buffy's grave. Well, well , Faith thinks to herself, looks like the evening won't be a total bust, after all. This is her fave part of the hunt… circling the prey, bracing for the kill. It's gonna be so sweet, Faith thinks.

She makes herself silent. She moves slowly, carefully. She doesn't want to tip the creature that she's close. She hangs to the shadows as much as possible, letting her dark clothing blend with the night. Quietly she creeps up on the vampire… because she's sure it was a vampire now… and readies herself for the fight. As she draws closer, she gets the feeling that somehow the vamp is familiar. But that's silly, of course. She doesn't exactly let her prey escape. Any vamps she's met previously are dust. Pretty much, anyway. Still, try as she might, she can't quite shake the feeling. She eases closer, trying to get a better look at him… but he has his back to her.

Familiar or not, she thought, Mr. Vamps gonna find the business end of my stake. I don't like vamps, and I really don't like 'em hanging around Buffy's grave. Just a little closer now… closer… closer… hah!

Faith leaps on the vampire, using her weight to push him forward . He falls, evidently not expecting the attack. He recovers quickly… too quickly for Faith's liking. He throws her over his back, sending her flying. She crashes into a marker, where she lays, stunned.

The vampire comes up on quickly, and stands over her. He doesn't make a move on her, but just watches her as she recovers from her daze. Slowly, Faith looks up, getting her first good look at the vampire.

ANGEL!!!!

What the hell is he doing here?

"Heya, Fang. Long time no see… not long enough, though" Faith quips, getting up." What brings you to Sunnydale? Get bored brooding in L.A. ?"

" Hello, Faith. I see you're methods haven't changed, " He observes, wryly. " Stake first, ask questions later" He stands smirking at her. Eyebrow arched, she returns the smirk.

" Yeah, well, that's what I do. Stake vampires. It's in the manual, first rule " If in doubt, stake the bloodsucker". Really kind clear on that point" Faith said. " Well, tall, dark and toothy, gonna answer my question?"

"Which question would that be, Faith" Angel replied, being deliberately thick

Faith looked at Angel, a bit of irritation showing in her face. It's always a pleasure to chat with Fang… NOT.

" What're you doing in Sunnydale?? I thought you were playing detective in L.A." Faith says, cynically," What? L.A. not giving you enough to do?"

Instead of answering, Angel just looks at Buffy's grave. Faith follows his gaze, and notes that a fresh bunch of lilies have been placed in the grave vase. She looks back up at him, and notes his sad expression. For some strange reason, she feels sorry for the poor sap. He evidently still's in love with Buffy, though he gave her up a couple of years ago. She's well aware how close it came to going the other way. She's finding it harder and harder to hold a grudge against him.

" Look… ummm… Angel" Faith said, making the effort to use his real name, " I know we've had our … differences in the past. Maybe It's time we stop being snotty to each other, and call a truce. After all, I don't think Buffy would like us sniping at each other all the time".

Angel looked at Faith, impressed . She made the first move, he has to respond in kind. " I've got to agree, Faith. Maybe it's time to stop burying the hatchet in each other, and just throw it away" Angel responded, " Maybe this is a good thing. After all, I sorta half liked you. You got guts, if nothing else".

"Well, that's about the best left handed compliment I've gotten in awhile" Faith chuckles, " I gotta admit, you're not too bad yourself, even if your dead, pale and about as warm as an ice cube".

Angel smirks, Faith smirks. They turn back to the grave, both standing silently. After awhile, they both are still uncomfortable, despite their new "Truce". Faith finally speaks up.

" Look, I'm gonna finish my patrol. That'll give you some 'alone time' with B." Faith said, " I expect you'll be done by then?" Not really a question, more a statement.

" Yeah. Thanks, Faith" Angel said.

Without another word, Faith departs. Angel watches her go, a bemused look on his face. If he does live forever, he'll never figure her out. Maybe that's what's so fascinating about her.

After awhile, he turns back to the grave, and quietly kneels down by it.

* * *

Hidden by distance and a tree, Faith watches Angel by Buffy's grave.

She's still suspicious of him, even if they called a 'truce'. She could never figure out Buffy's attraction for him.

Ok, he's sorta cute in a pale, been dead for 2 and a half centuries kinda way. But… a vampire? C'mon. Dead thing. Doesn't breathe. Doesn't have body temp. Exactly how are you to 'warm up' to that? And a demon, remember? How can you tell whether he's looking at you in love, or as a meal? Ok, harsh. I admit it. But I went through my own hell waiting for Buffy to make her mind about who she loves. Even close to the end, Faith pauses… the ache of thinking of that is too raw… even then she kissed him. What did I miss? What'm I not seeing here?

She watches him. He reaches out, and touches the stone, so like Faith when she does it to try to connect a little closer to Buffy. Though she can't hear him, she knows he's talking to her. She can tell by his movements, his gestures, that he really is caught up in her. That if he was capable of it, he'd be crying right now. Despite herself, she can't help feeling pity for him. He loves her and could never have her, never touch her. The curse, as Buffy told her, made him lose his soul, his 'humanity', at the moment of perfect happiness. And Buffy gave him that. Faith realizes, that in comparison to him, she's been extraordinarily lucky. She had Buffy. Buffy loved her, they shared their love, and it was beautiful. It didn't come with any tragic consequences. Except she's … dead now. Faith closes her eyes, trying to hold back the pain. At least we knew we could share our love, not having the dark cloud over it that Buffy and Angel had.

She looks at Angel in a different light. He's a poor tragic soul trapped. He can never love, not without hurting or killing the ones he loves. He can never know true happiness. How sad is that? She wouldn't wish that on anyone. Even Angel.

As she sits watching him grieve, she wonders if the pain is as fresh and raw in Angel as it is in her? He'll live forever, she muses, and will he mourn her forever? How long will he mourn her?

"That's a good question, Faith" A very familiar voice comes from behind her, " I just wanna know, though. How long you gonna mourn me?"

Faith feels the hairs on the back of her neck rise, and she turns slowly. She sees a familiar blonde woman standing behind her. She's smiling at her gently, and her arms are crossed over her chest.

"Uhhh… uhhh…" is all that Faith can choke out. She feels dizzy, and frightened.

" Gee, Dimples, is that all ya gotta say to me?" Buffy says, gently chiding her.

" Uhhh…." Faith feels her head go light, the night go blacker, and for the first time in her life, she faints.

Buffy, helpless to catch her, helpless to even touch her, just watches. She sighs, and walks over to the now prone Faith. With a mixture of consternation and amusement on her face, she kneels by the unconscious Faith. She waits patiently for Faith to recover.

Faith slowly swims back to consciousness. She remembers she was watching Angel, but after that it's a little foggy. She heard someone say something to her…and then boom, she's out. What the hell happened? She opens her eyes, and sees Buffy smiling down on her.

AWWWW SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!

Faith quickly scrambles to her feet. She backs away from the apparition. Her face is pale, nearly blanched. Her eyes are wide, and her heart is threatening to punch a hole in her chest.

"Wha… who… how? This isn't real!" Faith declares. " This is … god, I don't know what the fuck this is, but …. I'm going nuts" She's all over the map," You're dead!!! You're not real!!!" Faith yells at Buffy.

"I'm real , Faith" Buffy says quietly, " Ok, not really real. I mean, I can't touch you, or visa versa, but I'm real. I think. Hell, I don't know. I'm not the ghost expert. But it's me".

" Shit, shit, shit! I've gone nuts" Faith curses, " I knew someday you were gonna drive me nuts. I knew it! Shit, what'm I saying, anyway? You're not real! You're not even there! God, I'm loony toons!" Faith looks around desperately for something to hold onto , something that makes sense to her until this madness goes away.

"Faith" Buffy says patiently, approaching the dark slayer. Faith backs up, not even wanting whatever that is to get any closer to her.

" Go away… GO AWAY!!!" Faith yells, " You…you're not real… or you're some kinda demon. Get the fuck away from me!"

"Faith DeMarco, goddammit knock it off" Buffy loses her patience. " Come here…. " She stamps her foot(?) impatiently, "Get that cute ass of yours over here NOW!" Buffy puts on her don't give me no crap look.

Faith, visibly upset, clearly scared half out of her mind, moves a little closer… and stops. She just can't deal with this.

" Here!" Buffy says, firmly. " Come here!" She points to a spot in front of herself.

Faith moves a little closer, but she can't seem to move close enough. Buffy, impatiently, forgetting herself and what she is, moves to Faith and tries to grab her arm to drag her closer. Her hand passes through Faith, and Faith feels a deep chill. She's blanches, and sits down hard on the ground.

"Well, I guess this'll just have to do" Buffy says, rolling her eyes. She sits next to Faith. " Look at me , Faith."

Faith doesn't look. She's afraid to look. She's afraid she's gone around the bend, bought that one way ticket to the rubber room, and this is her guide to looneyland. She looks at the ground instead.

"Faith, please, look at me" Buffy says. Something in the tone in ' Buffy's' voice causes Faith to look up, and she sees the soft expression and compassion in Buffy's eyes. Somehow, though Faith knows she's still a couple of sandwiches short of a picnic, she relaxes a little.

"Why?" Faith finally asks, deciding to play into the insanity. Her voice is low, thick with emotion and need.

"Why?" Buffy repeats, not understanding what Faith is asking.

" Why'd you leave me, B? Why?" Faith asks, her heart starting to hurt again, the tears threatening to roll.

"Ah , Faith, " Buffy sighs, the sigh heavy with emotion and regret, " the last thing in the world I wanted to do was leave you, honey. I'd finally figured it out, what you'd been trying to get through my thick skull all those years. Didn't Dawn tell you that?" Buffy asks, concerned.

"Y-Yes, she told me" Faith said, sadly, " but that didn't help. It just made it worse!" Faith says, letting a little of the anger she's felt out, too.

" I'm so sorry, Faith" Buffy says, her face reflecting her anguish, " I did what I had to do. I couldn't let Dawn jump. It wasn't her time. She has to live, honey. To grow up. She has something important to do, something she'll give to the world. I didn't know that then, I only knew she had to live, to carry on for me. The only thing I regret, baby, is that I had to leave you to do it. The hardest thing in the world for me was to jump off that tower. But it was my destiny, Faith. I had to do that. I know that now".

"It hurts, B. It hurts sooo bad!!!" Faith keens, her heart a raw wound." Every day I look for you, and you're not there. I forget sometimes, expecting to see you, and … then it hits me again, and it's all bad again, totally bad again. It's … it's like someone's inside me, twisting my heart. I can't take it, B. I just can't take it anymore!" Faith puts her face in her hands, sobbing uncontrollably now.

Buffy reaches out to comfort Faith, and stops herself. She looks up at the sky, her face a mask of rage

' How can you do this?' she cries at the Powers that Be, ' how can you bring me back here, and not let me touch her?'. Buffy struggles with herself, bringing herself back under control. She looks over at Faith, wishing with all her heart she could just take her in her arms and hold her until the tears stop. She waits until Faith pulls herself together.

"Faith, baby?" Buffy says quietly, " I don't have much time. You've gotta listen to me".

"You're leaving, again?" Faith says, her voice dull. " Why'd you even come? So you could hurt me some more?" Faith turns away from her.

" Baby" Buffy says, her tone pleading, " They didn't want me to come. They wanted to send someone else. But I begged to come. I had to see you again. I've missed you so much. I wanted to talk to you one more time. I can watch, but I can't talk to you, and it hurts me to watch you. God, I'm doing this so crappy… again"

Faith smiles a tiny rueful smile to herself. So typically Buffy. " Yeah, well… you never were exactly Tony Robbins, were ya?"

" Guess not" Buffy grins apologetically. But she warms to seeing even this tiny spark of Faith show through. She continues, " But I gotta try to be, anyway. Honey, you can't keep doing this".

"Doing what?" Faith asks, evasively.

" You have to stop killing yourself, Faith" Buffy says, firmly. Faith starts to protest, but Buffy cuts her off. " Faith, I'm watching you. Did you really think I could just stop being part of you? Even if I'm dead? I see you, late at night, drinking yourself to sleep. You're not eating, you're not sleeping, not really. You're walking around in a fog, not seeing what's around you. This is so not you. "

"What the hell do you expect, Buffy?" Faith says, getting angry, " you left me, and ripped out my heart and took it with you! I'm walking around in a fog? Well, excuse me for hurting! Excuse me for hating you for leaving me! Excuse me for wanting you back so badly I can't see straight. Every fucking day is a torture, living without you. Don't you get it? Don't you understand, even now? I love you with every bit of me. I always have, B! I've always loved you with everything I had to give. More than I had to give. Now you come here, and tell me to stop it. Well, I can't B. I just can't. I can't turn it on and off like a fucking goddamn water faucet. WHAT THE HELL DO YOU EXPECT FROM ME?" Faith screams at the apparition.

Buffy bites her lip to keep it from trembling. She wishes she could bite her heart, to keep it from hurting.

" I expect you to live, Faith, " Buffy says, trying to keep herself calm. " If there were someway I could change things, make it so no one had to die… I would. But I had no choice, Faith. I did what I had to do. I hate it. I hate not being with you. I hate it more than I can ever say."

" But it's not about me and you, now, Faith. It's Dawn" Buffy says." Dawn needs you. She needs YOU, more than she needs anyone else. She needs you even more than she needed me" Buffy says, regretfully. " She's struggling right now, Faith. She's at a point in her life where a choice is to be made. An important choice. Right now she's in trouble" Buffy looks at Faith, gauging her reaction.

"Trouble? Dawn?" Faith asks, " What kind of trouble?"

"I can't tell you that, Faith," Buffy says, " you have to find out on your own. I wasn't even supposed to tell you that much" She looks up, hoping the PtB aren't too angry. "Thing is, Faith, you've been so consumed by your grief, you can't see it".

Faith looks at Buffy, her expression blank. She's keeping what she's feeling bottled inside.

" You've gotta stop dying Faith, and start to live. I know it's hard" Buffy says, " I told Dawn the same thing. The hardest thing about this world is living in it. But you gotta do it, Faith. For me, for Dawn… and for yourself."

" And, if I don't want to? What?" Faith asks, quietly.

"Then…it's over" Buffy says, simply." Dawn is going to do something wonderful for the world. That's her destiny. It's still a long way off, it'll be many years before she does it. But, if you're not there for her now, if you … withdraw from life, or…worse… then, it'll never happen. She'll never fulfill her destiny." Buffy raises her hand to forestall Faith's obvious question. " I don't know what it is . The Powers that Be don't make me privy to their plans. But Dawn is special… more special than you or I know. All I do know is that if she doesn't do what she's supposed to do, the world will be infinitely darker for it. "

"What about Red?" Faith asks, "What about Tara? They're able to raise Dawn. Why do I need to be here?"

"All of you are important, Faith" Buffy says, " but you most of all. You more than anyone shapes Dawn into what she's to become. Without you… " She trails off.

" What if I just don't care?" Faith asks, bitterly.

Buffy looks at Faith, a small smile playing on her lips. " Liar" She says, quietly.

"WHAT??" Faith asks, offended and hurt.

" You care, Faith" Buffy says firmly, "Don't even pretend you don't. You love Dawnie like a sister. You think I don't hear you? You think I don't see how you treat her? She was so jazzed this morning about the jacket. And the ride. Boy, I miss riding with you on that bike." Buffy shakes it off, " Oh, and she's sorry , really sorry, about this morning. So, don't be too upset with her, ok?"

" I'm not, really. Just a little hurt. I'll get over it" Faith smiles for the first time. Her smile fades. "How'm I gonna do it, B? How'm I gonna go on without you?". Her face falls into a sad expression again.

" It'll get better, baby. I promise" Buffy says, " And it's not forever. Someday, when it's your time…REALLY your time… we'll be together again. " Buffy says quietly. God, she hates how long she's gonna have to wait. Faith is supposed to live a rich, full, and _long_ life. Yikes!

"I'll try, B." Faith promises, " I'll really try. But it's so hard." Her voice cracks again. She slumps, the pain overwhelming her.

Buffy looks up again. She pleads… please, just this once. Can't we bend the rule a little, just this once?

Faith feels the tears threatening again when she feels a small touch on her shoulder. She turns, and Buffy is sitting next to her. She looks… fuller, more real somehow. She sees that it's Buffy that's touched her. Her face is reflects her confusion.

" I've only got a minute left" Buffy whispers. She leans in, and gently kisses Faith. Faith feels the soft, warm lips she's so familiar with touching hers, and her heart starts to beat again. Buffy breaks the kiss, and Faith can see the tears rolling down her cheeks. She instinctively reaches to brush them away, and she almost faints again when she can.

"Buffeee?" Faith says, her voice questioning.

"I have to go, Faith," Buffy says, her image starting to fade. " I love you" She says, fading away.

" I … I love you" Faith calls out, but Buffy is gone. " I… love you" She says quietly.

Faith sits there, not moving for the longest time. She thinks about what's been said, and tries to believe that it really happened. She wants to believe that she was talking to Buffy, but her cynical nature just refuses to buy into it. She's almost convinced herself that it was just a mental break, that it was all an illusion, when she feels something in her hand. She opens it, and laying across her palm is the little gold necklace she gave Buffy on her 18th birthday. The one with the entwined hearts. She stares at it. It can't be. They buried it with her… but … she turns it over, and reads the inscription:

"My heart is yours forever, Faith".

It's hers…not mine…hers! But… but that's impossible…it's….

Faith believes. She knows it happened. She gets up from where she's sitting. Looking at her casually, you couldn't tell anything had changed. But her eyes had a new fire, a new desire. Her heart felt lighter than it has in months. She was still grieving: life without Buffy was hell. But she finally was convinced that she could live it, hell or not.

She walked out of the cemetery, towards home.

Little did she or Buffy know, that the Powers that Be had something up their sleeve for them yet. They just so loved their little jokes.

* * *

To be continued.


	4. Chapter 4

**Timeless Faith**

By Norwalker

Part 4 of ?

Rating : R for language, sexual situations and violence.

Category: Romance/Angst/Drama

Disclaimer: Most, if not all of the characters depicted here are the property of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, Inc. and Fox. This is a work of fiction; any similarities to anyone living or dead are purely coincidental.

Summary: Third in a series of stories started with " Summer of faith" and continued in "Seasons of faith". In the last book, Buffy died fighting Glorificus, the Hell goddess. This book picks up where that book ended. How does Faith deal with the loss of Buffy? How does life change for the scoobies? Buffy will be with them always, but is there more to it than just memories? Stay tuned.

Spoilers: Possible season 6 and season 7 spoilers. Hope you've watched them by now.

Timeline: Season 6, maybe season 7 and beyond( don't know yet).

WARNING: **_There is always the possibility of major character death_**. Romance between members of the same gender(duh). Sexual situations between members of the same gender. This is an _Alternate Universe_ (AU) story. The real(by the series 'coda' ) relationship between Buffy and Faith never happened here. So if you're looking for the dark, knife wielding, don't give a crap about nothing but me Faith, She's not here.(ok, bit of an exaggeration, as we all know by now that Faith redeemed herself, but the "dark, evil" Faith never got a chance to live here). Violence happens. Adult themes( someday, I plan on being one, too). Sexual situations. All the usual stuff.

* * *

Faith slips quietly into the house on Revello Drive.

She knew she's late… very late. She'll probably have hell to pay at work tomorrow. Screw it, maybe she'll just call Xander in the morning and tell him she's sick. Whatever. What happened tonight is just too weird to process yet. She's been walking around, wandering more like it, trying to figure it out… make it make sense. She knows it happened… she has the proof in her pocket. Buffy's necklace, that Faith buried with her. But it's just too… out there for Faith. She's not one to believe highly in mysticism, or that stuff. Sure, she fights demons and vamps. But they're right there, evidence of her eyes. This magic voodoo hoodoo stuff is just hokum. Which makes what happened tonight all that more puzzling… and scary… and real.

She touches her lips where Buffy kissed her, and all the emotions of the night come welling back up inside her. She wipes impatiently at her eyes. She hates crying, and has cried too much in the last 4 months. But despite herself, the drops fall on her cheeks, and she looks up… ' hope you're happy getting me all weepy again, B' she mutters. She heads for the stairs. She's exhausted. This night has been too crazy for her, and she needs to sleep. She stops at the second stair, and pauses. She realizes that for the first time in…god, since Buffy died, she doesn't need to drink to sleep. She feels tired, ready to sleep.

' Thanks, B' She whispers softly, heading upstairs.

She enters her room, quietly closing the door. She begins to undress, ready to hit the covers and sleep. Maybe tonight it'll be dreamless. God, she hopes so, it's been so full of dreams lately… dreams that keep her awake, scaring her badly. She pulls the necklace out of her pocket, and looks at it. A little smile brightens her face… she remembers how she didn't really give it to be on her 18th birthday… it'd been after that, because true to form for B's birthday, they wound up fighting a vicious vampire called Kralik… part of a test given by the Watcher's council on a slayer's 18th birthday. No, she'd given it to her afterwards… a few days after… when they'd had yet another( and last) fight over Angel. Well. sorta, anyway. For awhile, things got better. Of course there were other fights, about stuff that really seemed stupid right now. All of the fights seem stupid now. If she only had another chance, she'd do her best never to fight with B again. She'd be smart this time, appreciate the time they had. She sighs… but that's not gonna happen. She places the chain on the dresser, and continues to undress.

She almost has a heart attack when she hears a small noise behind her. Whirling, half dressed, she's ready to fight. She sees a shape on the bed, and her heart starts to tattoo in her chest. She quietly walks over, and sees someone, fully dressed, sleeping in her bed. She looks carefully, and sees the long chestnut colored hair. She smiles. ' P-nut. What's she doing here? God, she musta been waiting for me, and fell asleep. Poor kid!' Faith reaches out to shake her, and stops. She looks so comfortable, she hasn't the heart to wake her up. She knows that Dawn's been going through some bad times herself. Faith decides to leave her. She removes her shoes and socks, and covers her with the blanket. She watches as Dawn snuggles deeper into the bed. "She's going to do something wonderful" Faith remembers Buffy saying. I wonder what? Knowing her, knowing what a royal pain-in-the-butt Dawn can be, Faith's trust in this prophecy is stretched to its limits. It was only because B had told her that she even believed it. Yet, as she looks down at the sleeping Dawn, she can't help but get all those mothery feelings. She looks so sweet, so innocent. Faith wants to just protect her from all the bad stuff in the world… and yet, let her experience all the good stuff. God, no wonder Mrs. S would go crazy sometimes, she laughed to herself.

' Well, Faith, now that Dawn's taken over your bed, where you gonna sleep?' she thinks to herself. She picks up her robe, planning on hitting the couch. But she groans. It's fine for a nap, occasionally, but damn it can be hell to sleep on. Maybe Dawn's room , then. Right, and have P-nut go nuclear on her for 'invading her private space'. Yeah, just what I need. Like, she didn't invade MY space. Faith sighs. Ah, screw it. She hardly takes up any space. Me and Buffy used to sleep just fine in that bed. Faith walks over, and doffing her robe, slips into bed. Faith hates sleeping in her undies, but it's not appropriate her being nude if Dawnie wakes up first.

As she relaxed into sleep, she heard the small snoring sounds Dawn was making. It was eerie how much she sounded like her older sister. Already struggling with her emotions, Faith had to bite her lip to keep from crying. It was just that little cut of the knife that made it so hard sometimes. She concentrated on her own breathing, and soon found herself drifting off into a gentle doze.

The light bothers her sleep, and she opens her eyes. She's disoriented at first, not recognizing where she is . Then as things began to focus in, she realizes she's downstairs in the living room. But what really freaks her is that it's nearly mid afternoon. She doesn't remember anything about the day, or about how she got to be here, sitting on the sofa. She looks down, and her second surprise hits her… she's fully dressed. Good thing, I guess, she thought to herself, be kinda embarrassing sitting down here in my underwear. She starts to get up, when she hears a noise in the kitchen. She turns in that direction, and the third, and most devastating surprise appears in the doorway. Joyce Summers walks over to the couch, smiling. Faith felt like she's going to faint… again!

" Hi, sweetie" Joyce says, sitting next to Faith. " You said you wanted to talk to me?" She smiled at Faith, waiting for her to begin.

" Uhhh… ummm… uhhh…" Faith says, not exactly knowing what to say…especially since she feels dizzy …

"Faith, are you alright?" Joyce asks, looking concerned, " you seem confused, dear."

Confused? That's putting it mildly, she thinks. First Buffy comes back, now Joyce? I'm beginning to believe I'm cracking up badly here. She wonders when they'll be measuring her for a straight jacket.

" Faith?" Joyce repeats, her brow furrowed." What is it? Are you ok?"

"I'm just kinda outta it, Mrs. S" Faith says, going with the insanity, " Sorry, I meant Joyce. Ummm… can I ask you somethin?"

"Well, of course honey, anything" Joyce smiles warmly.

"You know about Buffy… right?" Faith asks, feeling really strange, " I mean… about her…well…"

" You mean about Buffy dying, Faith?" Joyce asks, her face falling somewhat, " Yes, dear, I know".

"Uhhh… right… ok, then" Faith stammers a little, " Well… she came to … see me? God, this is weird… and … "

"Yes, Faith?" Joyce asks, " What?"

"Well…" Faith just decides to jump in with both feet. " She asked me to stop mourning her so much. To start living. That Dawn needed me… I really want to do what she wants, Mrs. … er.. Joyce… But I don't know how. How do I do that?"

Joyce Summers looks at Faith, her smile coming back. " That's my favorite, though sometimes thick, daughter for you, Faith. She means well, she really does" Joyce says, " But she's sometimes…clueless. Of course, you can't just turn grief on and off like the tap. Everybody grieves in there own way. You'll come to the end of your grief when you're ready. She just hates to see you tearing yourself up. Frankly, so do I. But… well, honey, you'll learn to deal with the pain when it's time. I think what she wants from you really, sweetie, is not to let grief cloud the rest of the world to you. That can be bad. " Joyce reaches out, and lightly brushes Faith's cheek." You have to live, sweetie. I know it's rough right now, but I promise. In time it will get better. The hurt won't be right up front, honey. Day will come when the hurt won't be there at all, instead, just the memories. Don't be afraid to grieve, but don't let it rule your life, either".

" But how? It just sneaks up on me… I'll see something, or hear something… or smell her scent… and it's all right there." Faith says quietly, " I don't mean for it to do that, but it does."

Joyce sighs, " I wish I knew all the answers, Faith, I do. I wish I knew just what to tell you on this, but I don't" She smiles a little regretfully, " all I can tell you is that you're going to have to try to let go of some of the pain. Sounds easy, but I know it's not. Be patient, honey. It'll come. Time will come when it doesn't hurt so much, and then it'll be less and less, until one day it won't hardly hurt at all".

" But I don't want to forget her!" Faith says, adamantly." She… means everything to me. She always will !"

" Always is a long time, Faith" Joyce says, patiently." You won't forget her, honey. She'll always live in your heart. But there'll come a time when another person takes up residence there, too. I know, it sounds out of the question now" Joyce adds, seeing the expression on Faith's face, "But it's true. Don't close your heart to love, honey. No one would want that, especially Buffy."

" I guess, " Faith says, not believing it for a minute. She sighs. " Thanks for listening again, Mrs. … Joyce… it really helps".

" Anytime, dear" Joyce Summers says. She looks at Faith, and a little knowing grin comes on her face. " Go ahead and ask, Faith, you know you want to".

"Huh?" Faith asks, puzzled.

" You want to know how I know about Buffy's death when I died before her, don't you?" Joyce smiles.

Faith gulps. " Well… yes, it's kinda freaking me out a little".

" Don't worry, Faith" Joyce smiles, " It's just a dream , dear".

Faith's eyes open. The bedroom is still dark, and she can hear Dawnie snoring softly next to her. She feels a light sweat on her brow. She's really freaking. First Buffy… then Joyce. This is getting to be downright scary. She's beginning to fear good old Mom( her real mom) will be showing up next, full whiskey bottle clenched tightly in hand, advising her on love. God!

What is it about these Summers' women that keep doing this to me? At every turn, they're there. If not Buffy, then it's Joyce, or Dawn. They never, ever cease to surprise me. I wonder if I'll ever figure it out?

Probably not, she mumbles to herself, and drifts back to sleep.

* * *

Dawn wakes with a start

'Whoa… intense dream. Just running through the cemetery, chasing a vampire, when I trip…and another vamp jumps on me… I'm so like totally in control…I flip him over, and start to stake him… but it turns out to be Mr. Harrison, the Junior High principal… I always though he looked pasty… ummm… where am I?'

Dawn realizes she's not in her room… but doesn't remember exactly where she is… she hears someone breathing…and looks over…' oh… Faith… oh, god, I must've fallen asleep in Faith's room. How…mortifying!' Dawn blushes…and looks under the covers…seeing she's still fully dressed, she relaxes a little. She'd be sooo embarrassed if Faith had undressed her. ' God, I hope I wasn't drooling when I was sleeping ! That would've been so not cool. '

Dawn only meant to wait for Faith 'til she got in. She still feels bad about this morning, and wants to apologize. But Faith didn't come… and time passed… and finally, she got tired and lay down… just for a minute… Shoot. She probably had a good laugh catching me sleeping here…wonder why she didn't wake me?

Not wanting to wake Faith, Dawn carefully turns over. She watches Faith as she sleeps. Her heart melts watching her. Even in sleep she looks troubled. Her mouth is twitching, and her eyes are moving back and forth… she must be dreaming. ' I hope it's a good dream' Dawn thinks to herself.

Dawn hopes Faith didn't drink tonight. Dawn found the empty bottles of Johnny Walker Red in the trash, and she put 2 and 2 together. She She's worried about Faith, very worried. She watches Faith when she thinks Faith isn't looking, and it scares her a little. It's like she's not really there. She gets a kind of faraway look in her eyes. Like she's looking at something the rest of us can't see. It's scary sometimes, because it's like she can't see the rest of them… only what she's looking at. 'What's really scary is sometimes we'll be talking, or someone'll be talking to her, and she seems to be somewhere else. '

'And she's always so sad. Even when she laughs, which isn't too often, there's a note of sadness in it. She doesn't seem to be really interested in much. I mean, she always asks about my day, and stays tuned in while I'm telling her, but … otherwise, she just seems to be waiting for something. Someone. Buffy. Like she expects Buffy to come through the door any minute now. Then she can start living again… when Buffy gets there.'

Dawn is afraid of what happening. To Faith, and to herself. Faith seems to be falling farther and farther into a pit. So far, sometimes, Dawn is afraid she'll never get herself out. That she'll stop caring about anything. That one day she'll just get on her bike, and go… not looking back.

That thought sends cold little knives through Dawn's heart. What scares her though is she doesn't know why. Not really. Not so much she wants to admit it to herself. Losing anyone else right now terrifies Dawn. What would she do without Willow? Willow helps her with school, and makes it fun. And Tara. Tara is like totally cool with everything. Dawn can talk to Tara about anything, and she doesn't like get all judgey or nothing. She has like infinite patience, and even when Dawn knows she's being a brat, Tara just seems to not notice. It's totally cool.

But, Faith is her rock. Her connection to Buffy. When she's with Faith, she can 'feel' Buffy more intensely. But more than that, Faith is like a cool example to her. What cool can be. She's a fighter, a lover , and someone not afraid to work to be the best at whatever she's doing… and Dawn wants to be that way. Faith exudes coolness, and Dawn definitely wants to be that way. But more than anything, Faith makes Dawn feel secure, and she needs that. Never mind the mega-crush she's got for her.

So, Faith slipping away is scaring Dawn, badly. So much so, that Dawn finds herself needing to play her little 'game' more and more , just to get the rush, the good feeling that it gives. Even if it's fleeting. Dawn knows it's wrong. She's totally afraid she's gonna get caught. Yet she continues to do it, for the rush. And for the fact she can 'hold' this stuff, it's real. No one can take it away. Ever.

The sad part? She's not scared to death of getting caught by the guards at the store. Or even of getting caught by Willow, Tara or Anya. What scares her most, is that Faith will catch her. If Faith catches her, she'll die. She doesn't think she can take the disappointment she'll see in Faith's eyes, or the withdrawal of affection it might bring.

So Dawn lies there, perfectly quiet. If she's quiet enough, this moment will last forever. She can lie there, and no one will see her. Faith won't catch her, and won't take her love away from her. She'll live in this second, this moment, as long as she can. Feeling safe, and warm and loved.

Because they cant' take it from her. Not if they can't see her.

Not now, not ever.

* * *

Faith crawls out of that dark area she calls sleep. The place where her mind turns to dreams, some good, most bad. Her eyes open, feeling gritty. She sighs. Not much sleep. She turns to where the P-nut was sleeping, but doesn't see her. 'Musta woken up and gone back to her own bed. Good. Woulda hated to have woken her here. Probably freaked a little. I shoulda carried her back to her own room last night. Oh well, score another one for Faith' . She sighs, throws off the covers, and groaning a little, gets out of bed. She pads over to where her robe is flung, and puts it on. She pauses a second. Something about today feels different. As if something was going to happen. She shakes her head. 'That's just nuts, Faith ' she thinks. ' You're just still weirded out from last night'. As she passes the dresser, something seems wrong. But, her mind still half fuzzy from lack of sleep, she shakes her head and heads to the bathroom. She'll figure it out when she's had her shower.

As she's heading for the bathroom, she passes Willow in the hall. " Mornin' Red" Faith says, but Willow just passes her, giving her a strange look. Faith shrugs to herself and wonders what's her deal? But she doesn't give it another thought. She's too wiped right now to figure Red's moods out. She pauses at the bathroom door and knocks, then enters when there's no response. She locks the door, drops her robe and undies, and enters the shower.

The water splashing over her wakes her up, and she begins to think about the events of last night. To say she's wigged is an understatement. That 'encounter' with Buffy in the cemetery was just unreal. If she didn't have her necklace… and it hits her. That's what was wrong. The necklace. It wasn't on the dresser, where she left it ! 'But that's impossible. I know it's there … I put it there… didn't I? I know I did. It's gotta be there, I musta just overlooked it.' Faith finishes her shower, but her mind is distracted now. That necklace is doubly important to her now. It's her proof that what happened last night happened, and she's not just ready for a reservation at the rubber room palace. She finishes her morning rituals, and throwing on her robe, heads back for her room.

"Damn, damn, damn!" Faith mutters to herself, frustrated. She's looked on the dresser, under the dresser, in the dresser drawers … nothing! ' I know it's here somewhere' she thinks, looking around the floor by the dresser, in case it dropped off. But no necklace. She checks the jeans she was wearing last night… not there! She begins to panic, fearing she's lost it. She looks on the nightstand, not there. She looks all over the floor, but nothing even close to it on there. 'How could I be so stupid!' She yells at herself, not finding it anywhere. In desperation, she pulls the covers off the bed, hoping it might be there… but no, it's not. 'Goddammit, where'd I put it?' She sits on the edge of the bed, angry and frustrated at herself. How could she be so damned careless? How could she lose this? She glances at the clock, and notices she's running late. Damn, I'm late too. I'll never get Dawn to school and me to work on time . Shit! She starts dressing in a hurry. ' I can't even ask if anyone's seen it. What'm I gonna say?' Her mind envisions the scene.

"Hey, anybody seen the necklace I gave Buffy on her 18th birthday?" Faith asks, casually.

"D-Didn't you bury that with her?" Tara asks, looking concerned.

" Yeah" Faith replies, " but Buffy visited me last night in the graveyard, and gave it to me as proof it happened. I lost it. Anyone seen it?" Willow and Tara look at Faith likes she's grown a second head. Willow goes to the phone.

"What's up, Red?" Faith asks, curiously, " who you callin?"

" I'm calling the Goodyear Hilton. See if you're Rubber room is ready" Willow replies, as Tara pulls out the straightjacket.

'Oh, yeah, that'd go over so good.' Faith, upset, leaves the bedroom in a rush. She takes the stairs two at a time, figuring she'll have to forgo breakfast, coffee or anything else this morning but a quick goodbye. She enters the kitchen just as Tara, Willow and Dawn are leaving.

"Hey, mornin' guys. Sorry I'm late, kinda moving slow this mornin. Dawnie, you ready to motor?" Faith asks, rushing to catch up with the group.

" D-Don't worry, Faith. W-Willow and I are gonna take Dawnie to school this morning" Tara calls back over her shoulder.

" I know I'm kinda late, guys, but this is my week to take Dawnie to school, right? I mean we agreed to trade off weeks" Faith says, catching up finally.

Tara looks embarrassed, and Willow looks a little grim. Faith's natural defenses fly up. ' Oh boy, what's goin on here?' she thinks to herself.

"Tara, honey, take Dawn to the car. I've got to talk to Faith" Willow says. She turns back to Faith, her expression neutral.

"What's goin on here, Red?" Faith asks, her suspicions rising.

" That's what I want to know" Willow says, keeping her voice low." What's going on her, Faith?".

" I'm not getting you, Red " Faith says, " What're you drivin' at?"

" I caught Dawn sneaking out of your room at 5 a.m. this morning. What was that about?" Willow asks, her tone slightly accusing.

" Huh? I came home late from patrol, and she was in my room, asleep. She looked so peaceful I hated to wake her. So I didn't" Faith says, keeping her voice down. " She musta woken up and decided to go to her own room".

"Really?" Willow asks, her tone disbelieving.

" Well, yeah, really" Faith says, confused. Then it clicks in. " What're you saying, Red?"

"Well, when I asked her about it, she got all flustered and confused. She was sneaking, and her shoes were off…" Willow says, explaining.

" I took them off her while she was asleep, so I could put the covers over her" Faith says, her voice getting lower. " What are you trying to say, Red?" Faith repeats, her tone changing.

" Well… I know it's been rough on you since Buffy's been gone…and.." Willow starts, but Faith cuts her off.

"Oh. My. God!!!" Faith says, not believing what she's hearing, " You can't… that… that's just SICK!!! She's like my little sister, RED! How the hell…." Faith's tone is edgy and dangerous. Willow backs up a little.

" I… I'm just concerned about Dawnie, Faith" Willow says, trying to justify what she's implied. She's feeling somewhat sick, right now.

" AND I'M NOT??!" Faith yells, losing her temper, "THAT'S THE ….." Faith stops, getting herself under control. She starts again, lower, but her tone is still red hot angry " … that's the vilest thing anyone's EVER accused me of!" She turns away, her face red in rage. She's afraid she's gonna hit Willow right now. She stomps off… then stomps back. She's so not done!

" How the hell could you even THINK something like that?" Faith asks, her voice carrying her hurt and anger," you know me better than that, _Willow _" Faith uses Willow's full name… something she never does unless really upset." You're right about one thing. I love Dawnie. She's special to me. Buffy asked me, before she died to make sure she'd be ok. I damn well plan on doing that!" Faith is getting up a full head of steam, " and you accusing me of…." Her neck turns red, the thought is so out there, " God, I'd never ever hurt Dawn in that way. What are you thinking? What in HELL ARE YOU THINKING!!!!"

Willow backs away. She's never seen Faith this angry before, and she's frankly more than a little scared. But she's not ready to give up quite yet. " Well, Faith, what do you think my job is? I've got to protect Dawn, too. She's a kid, she's not worldly…" Willow says, defensively, " Things happen…"

"NOT THAT! NEVER THAT!" Faith yells, not caring who hears. She turns away and storms off.

Willow, contrite, starts to follow her. " God, Faith… I'm sorry…." She calls out, trying to patch this up. Can you say, fat chance?

Faith turns on her, her face mottled in anger. " Get away from me, Red!!!!" Faith whispers, almost hissing, " I'm so angry right now, I won't be responsible for what I do" Her eyes tell Willow she more than means it.

Willow, feeling incredibly stupid, stands there as Faith wheels out her bike. She tries again to apologize, but Faith just cuts her off.

" Take Dawn to school. See that she's not late. I think our 'talk' is done, don't you?" Faith says, kick-starting the bike. The bike roars to life, and Faith says over the engine, " I just can't believe you think so little of me, that you could even think that, Red. It really hurt, ya know?" She puts the bike in gear, and roars off down the driveway.

Willow stands there, watching Faith's bike roar down the road. She feels like the most incredible asshole in the world. ' You should feel that way, you know, Will' she says to herself, ' What the hell ever possessed you to think that kind of nonsense?' she scolds herself. She knows what it is . Jealousy. Again. She's jealous because Buffy asked Faith to look after Dawn. Not her, not Willow, her best friend for like, forever. No, Faith. It was Faith that asked for Will's help. Faith that included her in Dawn's life. And now, Willow goes and pulls some stupid stunt like that. All because she's jealous. ' Why? Why can't I just grow up? I've got the greatest girl in the world, I'm part of Dawnie's life. Yet, any little bit that Faith wants, I get all green-eyed about. And when I saw Dawn sneaking out of Faith's room at 5 a.m. , of course I just jump to the most ridiculous conclusions. God, I'm supposed to be so smart. How can I be so incredibly stupid?'

Willow, cursing herself, walks towards the car.

* * *

Faith riding through the cool morning air, tries to calm herself.

She was a hairsbreadth away from strangling Willow this morning. It took ever bit of her self-control to not get physical on her. ' How in hell could she even think I'd do something like that to Dawn?' Faith is angry and confused. What hurt most of all was that she liked Willow. She always thought of her as a good friend to Buffy. ' Ok, there was that time back in college when she moved into our place, I wasn't all that happy about it. Jealous would be more accurate. But even then I was pretty damned cool about it considering. Hell, I know she had a crush the size of Texas on B. Things coulda happened. 'Course, B loved me, and nothing did happen, though there were times I was pretty…ok, I was damned petty about it. And jealous. Hey, c'mon can ya blame a girl? I mean, everybody loved B. As she woulda said, she had adorableness running out her ears. God, why she ever picked me. But she did, and I think somehow it bothers Red. God, she can be so stupid. If she's not careful, she's gonna lose Tara. You don't get 'em much better than that(well, except for B, of course).'

Faith has a bad habit. She can see things from both sides of the coin. Much as she wants to stay mad at Willow, she's finding it hard. Oh, don't think she's not hurt, but she also can see Willow's point of view, sick and twisted as it is . Catching Dawnie sneaking out of Faith's room(what's that about, anyway?), and then asking her about it, and getting a confused teenager response(Nothing's going on. I wasn't doing anything!), her clothes rumpled, her hair in disarray… and Dawn blushing(Because she felt stupid for falling asleep… totally uncool), Faith can see the wheels going around. 'Still, woulda been REAL NICE if she'd had the respect for me to ask me about it, before just assuming I'm guilty. Grrrrrr. Arrgh! And I guess I gotta stop thinking of Dawn as P-nut. She's growing up. God, she's the age I was when I met Buffy. Look what happened there. Oh, god. I gotta be a lot more careful around Dawn. No more thinking she's still 11 and just a kid. This could get seriously screwed up.'

Something about what Willow said… Dawn sneaking out of her room, bothers Faith. ' Why should she be sneaking? Even at that time of morning? Lots of reasons why she could be in there. And dawn getting all defensive.' Something is bothering Faith at the back of her mind, but she can't quite get it. Losing Buffy's necklace, and then Willow getting all over her, accusing her of …grrr… pretty much has her mind occupied. ' All I know is that Ms. Willow Rosenberg is gonna be eating a LOT of humble pie before I forgive her!' Faith thinks grimly. Nearing the construction site she's working at today, she turns her bike into the lot and parks it. Hopping off, she makes for the foreman's trailer.

"Well, I guess I was right. Something strange surely has happened today", She mutters as she enters the foreman's trailer.

* * *

"Willow, what were you thinking?" Tara asks

" I wasn't thinking. That's the problem" Willow says, making a face.

Willow and Tara are walking to their first class at UC Sunnydale. Normally they would be walking hand in hand, but Tara is a little perturbed at Willow this morning. Willow notes this, and is particularly humble. She misses her hand holdingness with Tara. She really screwed up bad this time.

"When has Faith ever given you reason to think she would do something like that, Willow?" Tara asks.

"N-Never" Willow replies, not looking at Tara. Feeling even more ashamed of herself, if that was possible.

" I mean, she could think we're doing weird things with Dawn" Tara says. Willow looks up in surprise. Tara goes on, " Dawnie spends an awful lot of time in our room, you know!" Tara points out to Willow.

" But… But, we're only teaching her some little glamour spells" Willow says, defensively, " And… and she likes to make the pencil float…."

" Not the point, Willow" Tara says gently. She finds it hard to stay too mad at Willow." Faith could think we're teaching her all sorts of bad things".

" But… But…." Willow stutters. " Okay, okay I get it. I really messed up. I jumped in without looking. Stupid, stupid me. I know" Willow says." What am I gonna do to fix it?" Willow has visions of baking dozens of cookies, and detailing Faith's bike for the next year or two.

" This is pretty serious, Willow" Tara says, " I think you're gonna have to 'fess up".

"Huh?"

" Willow, you're going to have to tell Faith that there's some jealousy here… and not on her part" Tara says, firmly.

"What?" Willow blushes, "that's so not true. I got the best girl in the world" Willow protests. "Why should I be jealous?"

"Because Buffy picked her, and not you" Tara chides her gently.

" TARA!!! That's…that's just silliness. I love you!" Willow cries, " how can you think anything else?"

" I know you love me, Willow" Tara says, " But around the time Faith showed up, you had a huge crush on Buffy. You already admitted it to me, don't deny it, Willow".

" Ok" Willow says, pouting, " but that was before I met you!"

"Willow, we've already gone all over this, no need to do it again. I know how you feel about Buffy" Tara says." My point is, Buffy asked Faith to care for Dawn. It's only because Faith wanted you to be part of it, that we're even in the picture".

Willow hates it when Tara can read her like a book. It's eerie, sometimes.

"Doesn't mean I'm jealous" Willow pouts.

" Willow, honey, until you work this out with Faith, it's just gonna be worse. You know that!" Tara says," Even if we manage to bring Buffy back, this is still going to hang over the relationship."

" I'll fix this, I promise" Willow says, " and, were gonna do it tonight".

" Tonight?" Tara asks, uneasily, " Why tonight?"

" Everything is ready to go" Willow says, " all the alignments are right. It's time".

"It's time" Tara repeats, not 100% onboard here, " Tonight".

"Tara, what is it?" Willow asks.

"I'm still not happy about this , Willow" Tara confesses," it's dangerous. A thousand things could go wrong. It's against … nature".

" Tara. I've gone over the spell 100 times, nothing's going to go wrong" Willow says, " and, this isn't ordinary circumstances. It's not like when Dawn tried to bring Mrs. Summers back. Buffy didn't die a natural death. It was mystical. This'll work, I promise!".

" I just don't like it, Willow" Tara states simply.

" Please, Tara. I need you" Willow pleads, " I can't do this alone. You're crucial. Please, you gotta help me!".

" Alright, Willow. I said I would, and I will" Tara says doubtfully, " just be sure it's for the right reasons!".

" I promise, baby" Willow says, " I'm doing it because Faith and Dawn need Buffy. And, Buffy might be suffering unspeakable tortures…. I've got to do this!".

" Ok, honey" Tara says, still not 100% convinced. " Tonight then".

" Tonight" Willow agrees, " it's all gonna be good, you'll see. It's all gonna be good".

Tara and Willow turn into their classroom together.

* * *

Dawn enters the house on Revello drive. She's obviously in an " up" mood. Today has been a good day at school.

"Hey… Anybody home?" She calls out, after closing the door. She heads towards the kitchen for a snack.

" Upstairs, Dawnie" A voice floats down. It's Faith's voice. " In your room. Come on up. We've gotta talk".

Uh-oh. Two things are very wrong with this picture. Dawn feels her tummy getting tight. First of all, Faith isn't usually home this early. And secondly, she said " We gotta talk". That's never good.

Dawn, feeling a lot less happy than when she flew through the door, trudges upstairs. She goes to her room, and sees Faith sitting on her bed. Her heart nearly jumps out of her chest when she sees what's next to Faith on the bed. Her chest! Her treasure chest! Faith is staring down into it. Dawn gulps. Faith, hearing Dawn, looks up. Her face mirrors her disappointment. Despite that, Dawn tries to bluff her way through it.

"HEY, what're you doing?" Dawn says, rushing towards the bed." That my private stuff ! What're you going through it for?" Dawn tries to sound indignant and angry.

"Stop, Dawn" Faith says calmly. Dawn stops, confused. "Would you like to try to explain this?" Faith asks, indicating the box.

" It's my _ stuff_ ! " Dawn says, a little lamely, " it's _my _ stuff. What're you nosing around in my room for, anyway?" She asks, petulantly.

"Funny thing, Dawnie." Faith says, quietly, " I was missing something this morning. Something I knew I didn't have before last night… something I put on my dresser. You were in my room, asleep. No one else knew it was there. But I woke up this morning, and it was gone… like you were. I didn't put it together right away, but around lunchtime today it hit me. So, I came home. I admit I looked around a little, but I didn't read any of your journals. I didn't have to look _ too _ hard. Cuz, you left this out on your dresser." She indicates the box. " So, what's up, Dawnie?"

Dawn doesn't say anything, she just stares at Faith, looking upset and angry. Faith continues.

" This is Willow's bracelet. I know she's been looking for it for months. Tara gave it. She's been heartbroken thinking she lost it" Faith says, her voice giving away her distress. She puts down the bracelet, and picks up something else. " These are Buffy's earrings. I know them. I gave them to her. If you'd asked, I would've given them to you" Faith says, " This is Tara's. It's a necklace her mother gave her. " She looks through the rest of the box." I don't recognize the rest of this stuff, but some of them still have the price tags. Have you been shoplifting stuff?" Faith looks up, hurt and disappointment crossing her face.

Dawn stares at Faith. Her lower lip is quivering, but she answers defiantly. " What do you care?" She says, " you don't care. You wouldn't even be here, but Buffy made you" Dawn says, her voice angry, " No one wants me. No one cares about me ! You and Willow and Tara would rather Buffy was here than me. Don't you think I know that?" She says, her voice rising. " You all hate me, because she died for me! I know that. Well, I wish she hadn't. I wish she hadn't died. I wish I'd died. I'm just some kinda freak, I don't belong here! Even Buffy didn't want me! She couldn't wait to die to get away from me!" Dawn, upset, turns and runs out of the room. Faith, shocked, runs after her.

Dawn is fast, but Faith is faster. She manages to get out the front door, but Faith catches her on the front lawn. Dawn, upset, starts struggling.

"Lemme alone….LEMME ALONE" Dawns screams. She starts hitting Faith. Of course, at that moment, Willow and Tara pull up. They jump out of the car.

"Hey… HEY… let her go! " Willow says, coming over to Faith. " What's going on here?"

" No, I won't let her go, Red" Faith says, " I caught her taking stuff".

"That's silly! Dawn?" Willow says. "Let her go!"

" It's not silly. Go upstairs and look in her bedroom. I found your bracelet and Tara's necklace" She says to Willow.

Willow looks at Dawn, then back at Faith. " Is this true, Dawn?" Willow asks. She's confused at the moment.

" No, she's LYING!!!" Dawn says, " I didn't take anything!"

Tara comes over, and stands close to the struggling Dawn and Faith, who's having a hell of a time keeping hold of her.

" Dawnie? Is it true?" Tara asks, mildly. " It's ok, you don't need to lie to me."

Dawn looks at Tara, and her face collapses… she starts to cry. She clings to Faith, crying.

"Shhh… there, there honey" Faith says, her own heart breaking, "It's ok, it's ok". She pats Dawn's back. She picks Dawn up and carries her into the house.

Two confused and rather upset witches follow her.

* * *

"Dawnie, sweetie, we love you to pieces" Willow says, hugging the crying girl. " Don't you ever, ever think otherwise".

" You're special to us, Dawnie" Tara says, wiping away Dawn's tears. " You're our little star, don't' you know?"

"Dawn… don't ever get the idea I don't want you around" Faith says, kneeling by Dawn, who's seated on her bed." IF not for you, honey, I couldn't have gotten through these last few months".

"R-R-Really?" Dawn looks up, eyes full of tears.

" You betcha, P-nut" Faith says, " IF not for you, I woulda given up, honey. You've been my rock. I'm ashamed to say, I've not been as strong as you've been. I haven't given you all you need, I think" Faith smiles gently at her." I know I've been kinda…out of it, honey. But I promise, that's gonna change. I'm gonna do better, ok?"

Dawn leans over and hugs Faith tightly. Faith waves her hands to indicate ' group hug' and the other two get in on the hug. They hold the hug for awhile, then it breaks apart.

" You know you've done wrong, don't you, Dawnie?" Faith asks, gently. Dawn nods. Faith continues, " This is serious, Dawn. Stealing isn't right". Faith almost chokes on her words when she considers her own history, but this is different, ok?

"I'm…I'm … sorry, I messed up big time" Dawn says, looking forlorn. Faith feels for her, but has to remain tough here.

" That's not good enough, Dawn" Faith says. Willow and Tara nod agreement. " I'm afraid you're going to have to return everything to where you took it from. And apologize for taking it. Make restitution, if it's needed".

"But… but…" Dawn sputters. Oh, this is bad. Really bad! 

" No Buts, Dawn" Faith says, firmly. " You did wrong, you've got to take your punishment".

" Faith, isn't that a little harsh?" Willow asks, trying to come to Dawn's aid.

" No, Red, it's not. She stole the stuff. She needs to learn there's consequences… don't you, Dawn?" Faith says, looking at Dawn.

" Yeah" Dawn says, probably the most unenthusiastic 'yeah' ever spoken.

"We'll go with" Willow says. Faith looks at her, " To explain… so she's not put in jail !" Faith nods. Dawn looks up, frightened.

" Don't worry, P-nut, we won't let them put you in jail" Faith assures her. Dawn looks relieved. At least, she didn't get grounded.

"Oh, and Dawn?" Faith says, as she's ready to leave.

" Y-Yes?" Dawn says.

" You're so grounded. Like, 6 months worth" Faith says, leaving . Dawn groans.

" Don't worry, honey" Tara says, " We'll get your sentence reduced for good behavior". She smiles at Dawn, who smiles gratefully back at her.

" I heard that, Tara!" Faith calls back

Tara gulps, and with Willow, leaves.

Dawn, totally busted, sits on her bed, contemplating her fate.

* * *

It's nearly midnight in Sunnydale.

In the Restfield Cemetery, four figures huddle around a grave. One of the figures , carrying a glass vial, pours sand in a circle around the grave. She is chanting a small spell. The others wait around the edges, knowing not to cross the circle.

In the center of the circle, Willow puts some ingredients in a small urn. It's placed dead center of the circle, and by it is a framed picture of Buffy. She mumbles a spell over the urn, and then very carefully exits the circle, making sure not to break the line.

" Ok, is everybody ready?" Willow asks, looking around the group. They look reluctant, but nod. " Ok then, do you remember your lines?" She asks. They nod. " Ok, it's nearly midnight, light your candles!".

Each takes out a lighter, and lights the candle. All except Anya, who seems to be having problems. She can't get her lighter to work.

"Anya, hurry! The candles have to be burning by midnight!" Willow whispers, intently.

" I'm trying, I'm trying. This stupid lighter won't work" Anya says. Xander give her his lighter. She gets the candle lit.

" All right now. Remember your cues. It's important!" Willow says. They all sit, and Willow begins the spell.

" _Osiris, lord of the underworld, judge of souls. We entreat thee. We ask that you grant us our dearest wish! _" Willow intones. " _Bring forth her that was taken from us. Let her be restored to us ! _"

"_ I am the earth, giver of life. I beseech thee, Oh Osiris _" Tara says, sprinkling some powder into the circle

" _ I am the air, so the living may breathe. I beseech thee, Oh Osiris _" Anya says, throwing the powder in the circle

" _ I am the fire. I bring warmth and light to life. I beseech thee, Oh Osiris _" Xander says, throwing in the powder. He nearly sneezes, but catches himself.

" _ I am the water, who nourishes life. I beseech thee, Oh Osiris _" Willow says, tossing her powder into the circle.

" _ Osiris, Keeper of the dead, Hear our pleas. Bring she who's been taken from us back to us. Restore her to us, whole and untouched. Let her be alive… let her live, let her live, let her live!!! _" Willow intones the spell.

The sacred circle begins to glow. A wind picks up, and the glow goes with it, forming a whirlwind of light… it moves to the picture of Buffy, and encircles it. At that moment, Willow is encased in a cone of mystical energy. Her eyes go black, and her arms shoot up. There are cuts on her arms , deep raw looking wounds.

"What's going on?" Xander says, starting towards Willow. " What's happening to her?" He makes to get up, but Tara stops him.

"No… it's a test, to see if she's worthy. Don't interrupt it!" She says, whispering.

" I don't like this!" Xander says, but he stays still.

They are so focused on Willow , they don't notice the three vampires surrounding them until one of the vamps speak up.

" Hey, look guys, a picnic. Hope you're hungry. I sure am" The lead vamp says. He moves in to attack.

"Aw, crap!" Xander says, getting up. " Stop them. Don't let them interrupt Will" He says. He makes for the lead vampire.

A fight breaks out, Xander and the rest trying to keep the vampire away from Willow as she completes the spell. But it's not going well, and they are being tossed to and fro. It looks like it might go badly when a voice calls out from the darkness.

" Hey, Fang gang. Don't ya know it's not nice to be party crashers?" Faith steps out of the shadows, and starts to lay into the vampires.

All this time, Willow is still invoking the spell. She's been going through some changes, and is weaving in the aura of light. She finally calls out the final part.

" _Restore_"

" _RESTORE_"

" **_RESTORE!_** "

At that moment, a vamp, hit by Faith, comes crashing through the sacred circle, smashing the urn of Osiris. Willow, caught in the aura, falls over as if wounded. Tara, concerned, comes over to Willow, checking her out.

Faith finishes off the final vampires, and looks around at what's going on. She looks puzzled. Here's Anya, Xander, Willow and Faith, all gathered around Buffy's grave… and what's that? Candles? A circle? Her picture? What's going ON here?

" Ok, what are you four up to?" She asks, not sounding too pleased.

" Damn… it didn't work!" Xander says, looking around.

" I did it right. I did everything right!" Willow cries, not understanding. " It should've worked".

" What are you talking about?" Faith asks, now confused, as well as irritated. " What should've worked?"

"The urn! The urn is broken!" Willow says, mournfully.

"We'll get another" Xander says, " A better made one".

" There aren't any others!" Anya says, " I was lucky to get that one!"

" We'll fix it" Xander says, picking up the shards. " A little glue, good as new!"

" It's defiled, Xander" Willow says, mournfully, " it won't work anymore".

"M-Maybe it's a sign" Tara says, " M-Maybe we weren't supposed to bring her back!"

" Bring who back?" Faith asks, then it hits here where she is. " Buffy. You were trying to bring back Buffy!"

"Y-Yes, we were" Willow says, discouraged. " But we failed. And the urn is broken. We can't do it again". 

" My god, what the hell were you doing?" Faith says, her anger rising. " I've heard about these spells. They can go whacko. What … were… you…doing?"

" Trying to bring her back!" Willow counters." Trying to get her out of the hell dimension she's trapped in!"

" We couldn't leave her there" Xander says, " Not without trying to get her free".

"Dammit. You haven't a clue!" Faith says, " She's NOT in a hell dimension. She's in a good place!"

"What? What're you talking about?" Willow says, " How do you know that?"  
"Because, Red, I spoke with her last night. Right here! She's ok…she's happy. God, don't you ever think?" Faith is really burning now.

" How were we supposed to know that? You didn't mention that!" Willow says, also getting angry, " For all we knew, she was being tormented by demons. Why didn't you tell us?"

"Because, I had a hard time believing it myself." Faith says, angrily, " Think I believe in this hocus-pocus stuff? Or ghosts? But I have this to prove it to me!" She holds up Buffy's necklace.

Willow comes over, and looks at the necklace. She reads the inscription on back. She looks at Faith. "But…but you buried that with her!" She says, amazed.

" I know that. She gave it to me last night. To prove what had happened was real. I didn't believe it myself… not until this!" Faith says, quietly. "That's why I was late last night, and late this morning. This was missing, and I was frantic to find it. It's what finally led me to find out about what Dawn was doing. " She pauses… and looks around the circle. " Oh. My. God!" She cries out, " If we're all here… who's with Dawn?" She gets up, and starts to run towards the Revello Drive house.

Everybody's eyes go wide. No one thought of that one. Picking up most of the mess, they all start off towards the house.

" It should've worked. It should've worked!" Willow can be heard to say, as the group leaves the gravesite. " I don't understand it. It should've brought her back!"

The gravesite is deserted. All that is left is the sand for the sacred circle, the shards of the broken urn of Osiris, and the picture of Buffy. The frame is melted, because of the energy that surrounded it. It's all quiet now, nothing is happening

A few minutes later, the grass starts to move… as if something is trying to dig through it. The movement becomes more pronounced, more violent… and a hand shoots up out of the ground. It's injured…it looks like it had to claw through something. A second hand is soon seen… dirt flies out in both directions as the hands are digging through the soil. Soon a head appears. A gasp is heard as air is drawn deeply into air starved lungs. The head appears above the ground, …soon followed by a neck and shoulders. The woman pulls herself out of the grave, and sits down, exhausted. She looks lost, and scared. She is a small woman, blonde… and filthy from the earth. But she can breathe again, and right now that's all she cares about. She looks around, puzzled. How did she get here? Where is she? Feeling weak, she crawls towards the grave stone, reading the name on it.

"Buffy Summers? Who the hell is Buffy Summers? Why am I in her grave?" She asks, her voice raspy.

"Where in hell am I?"

* * *

To be continued.


	5. Chapter 5

**Timeless Faith**

By Norwalker

Part 5 of ?

Rating : R for language, sexual situations and violence.

Category: Romance/Angst/Drama

Disclaimer: Most, if not all of the characters depicted here are the property of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, Inc. and Fox. This is a work of fiction; any similarities to anyone living or dead are purely coincidental.

Summary: Third in a series of stories started with " Summer of faith" and continued in "Seasons of faith". In the last book, Buffy died fighting Glorificus, the Hell goddess. This book picks up where that book ended. How does Faith deal with the loss of Buffy? How does life change for the scoobies? Buffy will be with them always, but is there more to it than just memories? Stay tuned.

Spoilers: Possible season 6 and season 7 spoilers. Hope you've watched them by now.

Timeline: Season 6, maybe season 7 and beyond( don't know yet).

WARNING: **_There is always the possibility of major character death_**. Romance between members of the same gender(duh). Sexual situations between members of the same gender. This is an _Alternate Universe_ (AU) story. The real(by the series 'coda' ) relationship between Buffy and Faith never happened here. So if you're looking for the dark, knife wielding, don't give a crap about nothing but me Faith, She's not here.(ok, bit of an exaggeration, as we all know by now that Faith redeemed herself, but the "dark, evil" Faith never got a chance to live here). Violence happens. Adult themes( someday, I plan on being one, too). Sexual situations. All the usual stuff.

* * *

Faith stood at her window, looking out over Revello Drive.

It didn't take too much to see Restfield Cemetery from here. She has to admit it sometimes creeped her out to be so close to a cemetery. Know what she knew about what hung out in cemeteries. But in Sunnydale, you weren't going to get too far from a cemetery… 12 for such a small town. And 43 churches. _Comfort zones for the spooked of heart_, she thinks. _Welcome to the Hellmouth_!

However, Restfield being so close meant Buffy was close too. Faith stops a minute, and grips the windowsill. Even after 4 months, it was hard to accept she is dead. Really dead. But what happened last night, and tonight, drove that point home. She's dead, and she's not coming back, Faith sighs to herself. _Why can't I start to move on? Why am I so stuck in this place… why can't I let her go? She wants me too… she told me that last night. I know I should. I got Dawnie to worry about. She's growing up, and it's tough for her now. She needs me to be here for her… not mooning over her lost sister. Never mind she's grieving over Buffy too, and needs someone to lean on. How much attention can I give her if I spend all my free time remote, holed up, afraid to live? I'm sorry, B! I'm really tryin' to do what you want. But … damn you, you're all twisted around my heart. How can I just let you go when you got my heart all tied up? 'N if I try to untie it, it's just gonna all fall to pieces, like me._

As much as she misses her, what they were doing tonight makes Faith's blood boil. It isn't right, and it's dangerous. Foolish, stupid and in a way, hurtful. She knows they mean well. They want her back, and god , she so wants her back. _But raising the dead? Using dark magicks? That's beyond foolish… it's insane. She coulda come back so wrong. Then what? WHAT? Kill her… you think I'd let you kill her? Lose her again? Even if she were…wrong? Stupid -STUPID –**STUPID **! God what were they thinking?_

Faith sighs. It's not that easy, though. They didn't do it meanly_. They were afraid she was suffering. Trapped in some hell dimension, subjected to some unspeakable torture. They wanted to save her. They love her too. They didn't know… she's happy. So happy. My fault, I should've told them. I was afraid. Afraid they'd think me nuts… send me away. Not let me be here anymore. Away from Buffy… from Dawnie… little P-nut… god how she hates me calling her that. But she is my little P-nut… sweet and salty and silly. She's growing up… getting to that age where boys are sooo important. She needs her big sis now to guide her. If it'd worked, she'd have Buffy. Yeah they fought. Yeah they got all scary and angry at each __other… but they need each other, Dawnie needs her sister._ Faith pauses, and confesses, _I need her sister!_

Faith walks out of her room, and over to Dawn's doorway. She looks in on the sleeping girl. Dawn's sleep has been restless. The covers are all twisted and kicked off… her limbs are all akimbo. Her hair is half covering her face. But she looks like she's settled now. Faith smiles, and walks into her room. She retrieves the covers, and covers the sleeping teenager. Dawn turns on her side, and snuggles down into the mattress. _ She looks so sweet when she's sleeping,_ Faith thinks to herself, _ what's going on in that head of yours, girl? So young, and so much pain going on. Losing your mom and your sister so fast. No one's paying attention to you, are they baby? We're so wrapped up in our own thing, we don't see how bad it is for you. _Faith reaches out, and brushes the hair out of Dawn's face, _ I'm gonna do better, I promise P-nut. I'm gonna pay attention better, try to make it easier for you. Promise! _Faith leans over, and kisses Dawn gently on the cheek, _ Goodnight sweetheart, sleep well. _ She turns and walks to Dawn's door. She stands, looking out. Her face reflects her sadness and frustration.

_I need you so bad, honey_. Faith stands, the emotions churning within her. _It's wrong, I know. You're happy now, where you are. I know that. But … god, so selfish, I kinda wish it'd worked. Even if you came back a little wrong. I wouldn't care, as long as you knew me and still loved me. God, that's so greedy. But I can't help it, B. I need you, and I'm weak. I'm so trying to be strong, but everyday hurts without you. It just hurts without you. Sorry. _ Faith clenches her fists, and lets out a little self deprecating noise. _Knock it off, Faith. She's not coming back. She's gone, she's happy. She's probably not even listening anymore. Just get on with your life, girl, and stop mourning her, like she asked you to._ Faith feels the frustration rising in her. _Damn, even when you're gone, you still got me dancing on your string. Grrr. God, I'm done. I gotta get outta here. I gotta find something to kill. Surely there's some nice cooperative vamp out there waitin' to be staked!_

Faith marches off to her room to dress. She needs to get out of here, she's suffocating here. She's so wrapped up in her thoughts and frustrations, she doesn't see Dawn sitting up in her bed, looking at her.

* * *

Dawn watches as Faith marches off to her room. Her heart is beating quickly in her chest, and her breathing is shallow. She woke up when Faith brushed Dawn's hair out of her face, and she lay there, eyes closed, pretending to be asleep. When Faith kissed her cheek, it was everything Dawn could do to keep from moving. Her heart started hammering in her chest. Then Faith stood in her doorway, and was backlit by the hall light, revealing her form through her robe. Dawn was entranced; she couldn't take her eyes off of Faith.

Dawn was crushing badly over Faith. More and more, her feelings were getting all tangled up concerning Faith. When Dawn had to take back all the stuff she'd… ok, stole… a lot of the times Faith went with her. Faith made her confess, but if the store owner got really hostile, or threaten like calling the police, Faith jumped in, calming things down. She always did that. Even before Buffy died. When she and Buffy had a fight, Faith would work it out between them. Dawn knew Faith made Buffy see her as a teenager, and not like a kid.

_So why can't you see that, Faith? I'm not a kid anymore! I've grown up .I'm a woman. I can handle stuff. Why won't you see past me being you're 'P-nut' and realize I can help make it better? I know you're hurting. I see how sad you're eyes are. I wanna help, I wanna make it better for you. Just like you make it better for me. I know you're missing her so badly, me too. We can make it better for each other. If you'd only let me. If you'd only see me… really see me!_

Dawn snuggles back down into her bed, and searching through the covers, hugs Mr. Gordo close. She sighs, and begins to feel the warmth of the covers relaxing her. As she drifts into sleep, she thinks _ I can so help, Faith, if you'd only see me as I am…._

* * *

In Willow and Tara's bedroom, Willow is thrashing about in the bed. Tara, disturbed, wakes up and moves closer to Willow.

"Willow? Honey?" Tara says, gently shaking the sleeping Willow, " You're dreaming honey…wake up".

"Wha…No…Don't…please….don't…!!! " Willow mumbles. Her eyes fly open, and for a second she looks around, really frightened. She calms down realizing she's been dreaming, and looks over into the concerned face of Tara.

"Hey, baby" Willow whispers, " Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you".

"It's ok, honey" Tara says softly, " you were having a nightmare, I think. Are you ok?"

" It was awful, Tara" Willow says, her voice fearful, " We were out by Buffy's grave, doing the spell. This time it worked, and she came back…"

"That was awful?" Tara says, teasing her.

" She came back wrong, Tara." Willow says, " She … she didn't know us. She was angry, really angry. She attacked us, one by one. She killed Xander, and Anya, and then she came after you. I tried to protect you, but …." Willow has a look of genuine fear on her face.

"Shhh…there, there, honey" Tara says, " I-It was just a dream. Doesn't mean anything" Tara soothes Willow.

"Tara, I messed up. I really blew it. All that, and nothing" Willow says, reproaching herself. " I was so careful about it all, but … it didn't work! I don't get it, it should've worked!"

"I-It's not y-your fault, Willow" Tara says, " Y-You did your best. You know that s-spells sometimes just don't work…who knows why?".

" I can't fix it though" Willow says, sorrowfully, " the urn is broken. There isn't another one to replace it. It's gone, Tara. I … I made a mess of it!"

"M-Maybe it's for the b-best then, Willow" Tara says, " m-maybe this is telling you that it's just not to be. You heard Faith. She's happy w-where she is".

"And maybe Faith is wrong" Willow says, " Maybe she was tricked, or hallucinated it. I mean, she's been broken up by grief… it wouldn't be the first time something like this happened."

"Faith was pretty sure it was Buffy…." Tara says, but Willow interrupts her.

" That doesn't mean she's right, Tara." Willow's face changes to her resolve face. " No… she might still be somewhere bad. I – I can just feel it. I've got to find another way. There's got to be another way!"

" Willow, no!" Tara says, her tone disapproving , " No" She says , more gently. " Enough. We already risked bringing her back wrong. It's time to let it go".

" But I can't just let it go, Tara " Willow says, firmly, " Too much is at stake here. Buffy might be hurting. Faith… and Dawn, both need her. We can't just let it go!"

"Willow, you have to slow down. You're going too fast…doing things too fast!" Tara says

"What do you mean, 'too fast?' " Willow says, her tone turning suspicious. "What're you trying to say?"

"You're using powerful magicks, Willow. Dark magicks not meant to be used." Tara says, her tone a little uneasy, " They always have consequences. You're just not thinking this through. You have to stop, now, Willow".

"Stop now? I don't get it." Willow says, upset, " We failed once, but we can still find a way. I know it. I've thought this through carefully. And I know I'm right. You just got to believe in me. You do believe in me, don't you, Tara?"

Tara takes an extra beat in answering. " Y-Yes of c-course I believe in you, Willow" Tara says, nervously, not looking at Willow " But you're doing such complicated spells. You're moving so fast, sometimes it… frightens me".

Willow sits up straight in bed. Her face is surprised, and confused. " Frightens you? Do I frighten you?" Willow asks, her tone strange.

" N-No, of course not" Tara says, " I… bad choice of words. I meant your changing so much, so fast…"

" Changing? I'm…getting better at casting spells, yes, but changing?" Willow's brow furrows, " This is more than the magic, isn't it?" Willow asks.

"N-No… just… it …" Tara begins, but again Willow interrupts her.

" You think my feelings for you are changing, don't you?" Willow says, her tone defensive, " You… oh, Goddess, you think… that I'm bringing back Buffy because I want her. For me. That's… just … ridiculous!"

"Is it?" Tara asks, quietly, "Is it ridiculous?"

" YES" Willow says, louder than she meant to . She looks around, but no one seems to be stirring. She continues, quieter, " Yes… I'm bringing back Buffy because Faith and Dawn need her. And she might be in pain. No other reason!"

Tara just looks at Willow, and doesn't say anything. But her expression says it all. Willow gets up from the bed.

" I think…I think I better sleep downstairs…before anything more gets said…" Willow says, her tone low but angry. " I … guess I haven't proved how much I love you. Sorry. I don't know what you want me to do or say to prove it. But… what you're accusing me of is …it just hurts! Goodnight, Tara." Willow leaves the bedroom, making for the couch downstairs. She's fuming.

Tara watches Willow go. Her expression is hurt and puzzled. She knows Willow loves her. That's not in question. But this obsession with Buffy, bringing her back, is scaring her. Possibly angering her a little too. It's just not right! She lies back down in the bed, but sleep eludes her. She's left staring at the wall. She just hopes this Buffy fixation ends soon.

Really soon!

* * *

Buffy sits by her grave, looking dazed, confused and frightened.

She doesn't know where she is, and it's scaring her silly. Worse, she doesn't know WHO she is, and that's just plain insane. Even more crazy…why was she buried underground? _God, I coulda died down there. Was this some kinda sick joke? I'm not dead… but geeze. I wake up in a box, and I'm buried in a grave. Who'd be crazy enough to do that? I got so scared, I thought I was gonna die down there. Lucky whatever they buried me in was weak… I managed to punch through it and dig myself up to the surface. But … why can't I remember anything? Even my silly name. I … maybe somebody hit me real hard… maybe I got….ummm…what's that called??? Amnesia…yeah… that's gotta be it! _ Buffy checks her head, but doesn't feel any lumps or wounds…feels normal… not even feeling like she's been hit. She puzzles over it, then another thought hits her._ I feel kinda woozy… maybe someone drugged me! Some special drug that makes you lose your memory. Maybe I'm some kinda… spy or something… and I learned too much, so they knocked me out, and buried me, to kill me… and the drug was just in case. Yeah… Ok, that's totally insane. That's almost as nutty as…vampires! It's just crazy. No, gotta be something else…but what???_

Buffy starts to get up, but her legs give out under her. _Weird…like I've not been using them for awhile. How long was I buried under there? Couldn't have been too long, I'd be dead…but why are my legs so weak? _ She crawls over to the marker and reads it again.

**Buffy Summers**

**1981-2001**

**Beloved Daughter**

**Devoted Friend**

**Cherished Love**

**She saved the world**

**A lot**

Her brow furrows. _She was so young… just 20. Obviously somebody…somebodies… really loved her. So sweet. But to die so young! And, what does that last line mean? " She saved the World … A lot. " That's weird. Maybe she was like… in the military. Oh, yeah, sure. With a name like Buffy? " Private Buffy reporting for duty, SIR!" _ Buffy giggles _That's just nuts. That's so gonna strike fear in the heart of the enemy, huh? What kinda name is "Buffy" anyhow? Sounds so… snobby. Kinda like a cheerleader. Eewww. God, who'd wanna be a stuck up snob like that? Can you imagine? " Buffy, darling, Biff is on the phone for you. He wants to know if you're going to the Country club this evening!"._ Buffy giggles some more. _Ok, giggling at headstones now. Yeah, I gotta be nuts. Nuts to sit here… but that last line…what do they mean by it? " She saved the world… a lot." How?_ Buffy shrugs, _ probably just some sentimental crap or something. Maybe she volunteered. Who knows? Who cares?_

She stands up again. This time her knees are still a bit wobbly, but better. She can stay standing. She walks, a little shaky, but ok, making to leave the gravesite. But something draws her back to that stone. _If I could only figure out why I wound up here… I could get a handle on this. Why does this stone intrigue me so? Maybe it's a clue or something. Maybe I knew this woman. I just wish I could remember. Something… anything._ She sighs. _This is totally pointless. I gotta get outta here… maybe somebody knows me? God I hope so… this so blows, otherwise._

She leaves the gravesite, looking(and feeling) confused. She looks around, trying to orient herself, but she's lost. Not a clue. She sighs…_Damn, now what? How do I get outta here? Nothing personal, but I don't wanna be wandering around this place all night. Anyway, I need to find the way to town… maybe find a police station or something…_ She starts north, and walks for awhile, getting more and more discouraged as time passes. She's more lost than before, cause she's obviously going deeper into the cemetery. _So, where does it end, anyway? _She looks around, and sees a man standing a bit off, over by another grave. _Kinda weird, comin' here at night. Oh yeah, I should talk… anyway, maybe he can help me find my way outta here. _ She walks towards the man, who's not moving.

"Mister.." Buffy calls out. No reaction. She runs up a little, and calls again " Hey, mister!!!".

The man turns around. He doesn't say anything, just stands there. Ok, silent type. Right. She walks up to him. She can't quite make out his face… it's in shadow, light behind him.

" Mister? Can you help me out here? Kinda lost…do you know how…" But she doesn't get more out, because the man growls at her and leaps at her. 

" Holy crap!" Buffy yells, turning around. She starts to run.

The man , a vampire it turns out, is in hot pursuit. Buffy, panicked, just keeps running blindly. Oddly, he's not catching up…. Whoa…I'm goin pretty fast here…cool. She seems she's going to lose him, starts to really kick in… and boom, she trips over a low marker, and goes flying. Without even thinking, she does a roll, and lands on her feet. But she's facing the vampire now, and he's almost on top of her. She turns to start running again, but he grabs her.

" Hey…HEY!!! What's your deal?" Buffy yells out, elbowing him. The vampire, catching it in the solar plexus, keels over. Buffy, not a moron, turns and starts running again. The vampire quickly recovers, and follows after. Again she kicks in the speed, and it looks like she's really going to lose him this time, because she's watching where her feet are going. She's almost lost him when she runs into two other men, standing as a group

"Whoa, am I glad to see you!" Buffy breathes, " Some nut is chasing me. Get a little help here?"

The two men turn, and she sees their faces. She screams. They're deformed, and lookin' like that dude that followed her

" Well, hi, little girl" The vampire on the left says, grabbing her, " Gotta say, this is handy. Most time gotta go looking for food. Nice you happened along".

"Food?" Buffy says, puzzled," What're you talking about? I don't have any food". She's struggling against him, but he's got a good grip on her

The vampires laugh. " You, you idiot. We're gonna eat you!"

"Huh?" Buffy says, really not getting it, " Eat me? You're cannibals?" Now she's getting scared. This is too weird!

" God, where did this one come from? Kansas?" The first vampire says. The other vampire grins at his joke. " Listen, we're vampires. We're gonna suck you dry, girl". About that time the third vampire runs up.

Buffy bursts out laughing. The vampires look at her like she's nuts. The first vampire turns her around.

" What's so funny?" He says, growling.

" You're funny" She says, giggling. "Vampires. God, that's a hoot. There's no such thing!" She's laughing her butt off. The three vamps look flustered.

" Yeah, well… when we've drained you dry, we'll see who's laughing" The second vampire says, moving in. Buffy sobers immediately, and starts to panic again

" HEY… HELP … ANYONE!!!!" She screams, struggling against the vampire holding her. The second vampire growls, and leans in to bite her. " NO… NO… LEAVE ME ALONE… NO!!" She screams

"Hey, uglies. Didn't you get the memo? If the lady says no, she means NO!" Faith says, coming up behind the group.

" Hey, look guys…dessert!" The third vampire says, turning on Faith. Faith just smirks at him.

" Now, fellas. Didn't you're momma teach you better? Stake first, then dessert!" Faith says. Before the third vampire can react, her stake is in his heart. He looks down, surprised, then up… and crumbles to dust.

" Shit… the Slayer!" The second vampire says, turning on Faith. The first vampire lets go of Buffy, to face Faith.

" I'm so touched!" Faith says, sarcastically, " You know me!" She sees the victim is free, but can't see her face. She turns and starts to say " Hey, girl, this is your cue…." But she stops, and nearly faints.

BUFFY !!!

Faith , in shock, stands stock still, almost frozen. The vampire, seeing an advantage, punches Faith, who is knocked back and down.

" HEY!!!" Buffy says, angry, "That wasn't nice!" She starts to kick the vampire, aiming for his shin. But as if guided by another hand, her leg comes up, and she hits him in the thigh with a kick, and the bone snaps

"SHIT…what the hell did you do?" The vampire groans, going down in pain. Buffy, seeing what she did, is getting cocky. She turns, and sees the first vampire advancing on the prone Faith. She runs over, and stands in front of him, blocking Faith.

" Get outta my way, shrimp!" The vampire reaches over and shoves her. She is thrown, landing on her butt. She's up in a second, and without thinking, does a flying kick on him, sending him flying. He smashes against a gravestone, and gets up, looking mad.

By this time, Faith has recovered. Seeing the vamp with the broken leg on the ground, she runs over and quickly stakes him. The first vamp is coming towards Buffy. She gets up, ready to fly at him

" You little pipsqueak. How'd you do that? You're barely big enough for a meal". Losing his temper, he lunges at Buffy. She sidesteps him, and with a kick, sends him flying into another gravestone, head first. He lays there, stunned.

Faith, not waiting for an invitation, is on the vampire. She pulls out a stake, raises it and is ready to plunge it down when she hears a scream.

" NO… You'll KILL him" Buffy says, running over. " That's murder! " She grabs Faith's hand, stopping the downward plunge of the stake.

"B? What the hell? He's a vampire. We kill them" Faith says, confused. She struggles to free her hand.

The vampire, shaking off the blow, stands up. He starts for Faith, punching her in the jaw. She goes flying backwards, landing on her back. Figuring she's the easier kill, he ignores Buffy for the moment, and jumps on Faith… just in time to land on her up pointed stake. He turns to dust.

" WHOA… what the hell?" Buffy says, flabbergasted.

Faith, rubbing her jaw, stands up. She looks intently at the disheveled blonde standing in front of her. She walks over, and looks closely at her face. Her eyes go wide, and for the second time in her life, she faints.

Buffy instinctively catches her. she lowers her to the ground… then realizes she must be stronger than she thinks. Even so, she's panicking. She so doesn't want to meet up with any more of those muggers. She's gotta get outta here…but she can't just leave the girl here. They might hurt her… or worse.

" Miss? MISS?" Buffy says, slapping Faith's Faith. " Oh, please, miss. Wake up… I'm really scared, and I don't wanna be here. Wake up, please!" Buffy begs.

Faith, feeling the blows on the face, wakes up and catches Buffy's hand. She stops her from continuing. She looks up at her, and her heart goes pounding in her chest a mile a second. She feels lightheaded again, and is afraid she'll faint again. She sits up, and stares at the small blonde woman.

"B?" She asks, in a whisper…still in shock.

" Bea? As in Beatrice? Is that my name? Do you know me?" Buffy asks, excitedly. Instinctively she hugs Faith. " God, thank you. I… I can't remember anything!"

"N-N-No, B… as in Buffy" Faith says, " Can't remember?"

" Buffy?" Buffy asks…like the name on that marker? " Buffy? No… no way! That…that girl's dead. I.. I can't be her!"

" How do you know she's dead?" Faith asks, " I mean, if you can't remember anything?" She's puzzled by all of this… but dammit… Willow's spell musta worked!

"I… I… I saw her headstone…back over there" Buffy points in the general direction of her headstone.

"BUFFY! " Faith cries jumping up and hugging the small blonde. The girl struggles, and pushes her away. Faith looks confused. " Buffy?"

" I told you… I'm NOT Buffy!" Buffy cries out, scared. " I… I don't know who I am, but I'm not dead!!!"

Faith looks hurt and bewildered. She moves towards Buffy, who backs away…looking scared . Faiths stops.

" B… don't you know me?" Faith asks, her voice hoarse.

Buffy, looking scared and disoriented, shakes her head. " Sh-should I?" She asks.

_Oh my god. Oh my god, oh my god. She… she doesn't know me… me! Faith thinks, What's wrong with her? Damn… damn… she must be disoriented. God… it musta been scary to wake up in a coffin!_

" B… It's me, Faith" Faith says, gently. She slowly approaches the nervous looking woman. Buffy backs up, looking around for some kind of weapon. _This dark haired chick's gotta be nuts!_

" I don't know any Faith… I don't know anybody… and why do you keep calling me different names? First it's Bea, then it's Buffy…then back to Bea… what the hell? Are you nuts?" Buffy says, spying a rock. She quickly bends down and grabs it. She holds it up, threateningly. " You… you stay back…leave me alone! Hear? I don't care if you… helped me or not… you're crazy!" She shakes the rock, her eyes wild and angry. Faith stops.

_She really doesn't know me! Something's way wrong here! What happened to her?_

" Buffy… please… You're just confused. I understand that. I just want to help you" Faith says, edging closer. Buffy looks at her warily, but doesn't move. " What do you remember?" Faith asks, gently.

Buffy looks at Faith, confused. She…she's nuts… she has to be… but… she's not … I mean… she's not trying to attack me. Buffy doesn't get any hostile vibe off of Faith…and she seems to recognize her, even if she keeps getting her name confused. She looks carefully at Faith. She looks ok… She realizes she has to trust somebody, if she's going to get help. She lowers her rock.

" I… I …I don't remember anything" Buffy says, plaintively, " I … can't remember my name…or where I am… where am I , anyway?" She asks.

" Sunnydale. You live here" Faith says, quietly. She edges a little closer.

" I don't remember anything" Buffy cries, her lip quivering, " All I know is I woke up in some box. Had to claw my way out, and I'm buried in some grave. What happened? Why can't I remember anything?" She starts to cry. She drops the rock.

Faith walks over, and takes Buffy into a hug. Buffy stiffens, looking frightened.

" It's ok, B. I'm not going to hurt you" Faith says, tenderly.

"What…what's my name? I mean, you keep changing my name" Buffy sobs. " I'm so damned confused!"

Faith looks at the confused woman in her arms, and her heart sinks. _Damn. She doesn't remember anything about herself. This can't be just that she's disoriented. Something happened. Something bad happened. _Faith feels her anger rising. _It musta been that spell. Something went wrong with that spell. Red screwed up, big time._

" Buffy. Buffy Summers. You're name is Buffy Summers," Faith replies.

Buffy looks at Faith as if she grew another eyeball. " That's… no way, that's just not so!" Buffy says, angry, " Why're you lying to me? I can't be Buffy Summers. She… she's … dead!" Buffy bursts into fresh tears, " I'm NOT DEAD!".

"No, you're not dead, " Faith says. _But I know one red-headed witch that's gonna be!_ She continues, " ummm… can I call you Buffy, just for convenience sake?" Faith asks.

Buffy nods. _Why not? I mean, not like I know who I really am!_

"Buffy… I can prove who you are, if you'll come with me?" Faith asks, holding her breath.

Buffy seems to shrink into herself, and moves away from Faith. " I dunno…" She says, doubtfully. _She might be some kinda weirdo!_

" B… Buffy.. I promise, I won't hurt you" Faith says. She moves a little closer to the bewildered woman. Buffy backs up just a little bit.

" Y-You really know who I am?" She asks, in a small childlike voice. Faith nods.

" Yeah, Buffy. I know who you are. Promise! " Faith swears.

" Help me?" Buffy says, pleading in a small voice. " Please?" .

Faith looks at this scared, frightened Buffy, and she wants to cry. This isn't the Buffy she knows. The one who's so strong sometimes it scares Faith. Who can be such a stubborn, buttheaded bitch that she makes Faith feel useless. That has saved the world 5 times, and died…twice. This.. Buffy is like a child. Frightened, scared, needing someone to trust. Needing to be protected. This isn't the Buffy that Faith loves, but she knows that she still has protective feelings for her. Faith feels an angry rage building in her. _Red. I'm gonna throttle her. She did this. She did this with that damned magic of hers. She stole the Buffy I love from me, and I'm so angry at her I could wring her stupid neck! _Faith breathes deeply, trying to dissipate her rage. Then it hits her. _ Dawn. Oh god, Dawn's gonna freak so badly when she sees Buffy. But I can't hide her… this so sucks…this so is Red's fault. She shoulda known better than play with magicks she didn't understand._

" Faith?" Buffy says hesitantly.

Faith looks up , sharply, startling Buffy. " You…remember me?" Hope upon hope.

" N-No…sorry…I… I just remember you telling me that" Buffy says, " Are you ok?"   
" Yeah, " Faith lies, " I just…lost in my thoughts. Sorry." She smiles at Buffy.

Buffy smiles back, hesitantly. " C-Can we go now? I'm kinda scared of this place!" She looks around, nervously.

It's just another piece to make Faith angry. _Buffy never was scared of a cemetery. But this girl…she's terrified. So much to tell her. God, she's gonna be freaked… and so not believe it!_

Faith reaches out a hand, and Buffy hesitantly takes it. They start to walk, Faith leading Buffy to the house on Revello Drive.

As they walk along, Faith can't help but look at Buffy… and she at times catches Buffy looking at her. But Buffy immediately turns away. Faith is a bundle of conflicting emotions. On one hand, she's gonna … god, she's so angry at Willow, she doesn't know WHAT she's gonna do. But, Willow is so going to pay for this. This is worse than if she hadn't brought her back. _What if she never remembers who she is… Who I am? Who we are… were… are… dammit! It'll kill me if she's so close, alive… and … and doesn't want me anymore! Dawnie…poor P-nut. She's gonna be so…upset. Her sister doesn't remember her? God, how'd that feel? Giles. Oh my god, I'm gonna have to tell Giles. He's…shit, this is just getting worse and worse. And if Hank Summers shows up while she's like this…Damn!!! We can kiss Dawn, and Buffy, goodbye. Magic. Magic this, Red!_ Faith flips her a mental finger.

But then there's the touch of Buffy's fingers in her hand. Even if it's only for now. And being able to see her again. Looking at her, so shy… _she even smiled a tiny smile at me once. I thought my heart was gonna beat right out of my chest. I love her so much, and she's right here… and so far away. God, I love this, and I hate it. Grrr._

They reach the sidewalk leading to 1630, and stop. Faith starts to lead Buffy up the walk. Buffy stops, pulling her back. _Damn, still has the slayer strength… bet she doesn't even know it!_

" You live here?" Buffy asks, amazed. " It's so… cool !" Faith has to smile, remembering how many times Buffy complained about the house.

" I live here, yes, " Faith says, " But it's your house, Buffy. You own it."

" I do?" Buffy says, now astonished. " Me? This is my house?"

" Yup, yours… and your sister's" Faith says.

" Sister? I got a sister, too?" Buffy is more and more astounded. " God, this IS cool !".

"C'mon, I'll reintroduce you" Faith says, grinning. Buffy still hesitates. " You ready?"

" Kinda scared now, " Buffy says, " What…do I do?". Faith looks at Buffy, sadly.

" Don't worry, Buffy. Everyone's gonna be glad to see you" Faith says, truthfully. Well, except for the not remembering part.

" Ok" Buffy says, childlike.

Faith leads Buffy up the steps. She goes to the door, and hesitates. Should she wake the household? Or wait?… She so wants to nail Red… but Dawn? She's gotta be prepared for this. No… she'll not wake 'em.

She slips her key in the lock, and motions Buffy in. Quietly, she turns on the light.

" Hey… that you , Faith? What's going on? Kinda late, isn't it?" Willow calls out from the living room.

_PERFECT!_ Faith thinks.

Buffy hides behind Faith, scared by the unfamiliar voice.

" Who's that?" She whispers. " is that my sister?"

" Er… no" Faith says, quietly, " She's a… friend."

Willow enters the foyer, rubbing sleep from her eyes. She looks at Faith

"What's going on, Faith?" Willow asks, " It's kinda late…" She looks behind Faith. Her eyes go wide, and her jaw hits the floor. " Buffy? **Buffy** !!! " Willow cries, running around Faith to hug Buffy. Buffy, startled, runs away from her, trying to hide in a corner. She is shaking , scared.

"Faith? What… what's wrong with her?" Willow says. She tries to approach Buffy, but Buffy pushes herself more into the corner. "Why… why is she acting like that?" Willow asks, puzzled.

" Well, we got good news and bad news, Red, " Faith says, a derisive edge to her tone. " The good news is… you're spell worked". Willow looks puzzled.

" The bad news? She doesn't remember a damned thing!"

* * *

To be continued


	6. Chapter 6

**Timeless Faith **

By Norwalker

Part 6 of ?

Rating : R for language, sexual situations and violence.

Category: Romance/Angst/Drama

Disclaimer: Most, if not all of the characters depicted here are the property of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, Inc. and Fox. This is a work of fiction; any similarities to anyone living or dead are purely coincidental.

Summary: Third in a series of stories started with " Summer of faith" and continued in "Seasons of faith". In the last book, Buffy died fighting Glorificus, the Hell goddess. This book picks up where that book ended. How does Faith deal with the loss of Buffy? How does life change for the scoobies? Buffy will be with them always, but is there more to it than just memories? Stay tuned.

Spoilers: Possible season 6 and season 7 spoilers. Hope you've watched them by now.

Timeline: Season 6, maybe season 7 and beyond( don't know yet).

WARNING: **_There is always the possibility of major character death_**. Romance between members of the same gender(duh). Sexual situations between members of the same gender. This is an _Alternate Universe_ (AU) story. The real(by the series 'coda' ) relationship between Buffy and Faith never happened here. So if you're looking for the dark, knife wielding, don't give a crap about nothing but me Faith, She's not here.(ok, bit of an exaggeration, as we all know by now that Faith redeemed herself, but the "dark, evil" Faith never got a chance to live here). Violence happens. Adult themes( someday, I plan on being one, too). Sexual situations. All the usual stuff.

* * *

"What do you mean, she doesn't remember anything?" Willow asks. She's looking at Buffy, cowering in the corner.

" Nothing, Red. As in, she doesn't know her name, your name, my name…that she has a sister, a house, a life. I found her wandering around Restfield, being attacked by a bunch of vampires. She's still struggling with the concept of vampire… she doesn't believe in them, either. She tried to stop me from killing one of them, calling it murder. Nearly got me killed " Faith looks at Willow with askance, " Getting the picture?"

"That's not possible" Willow says, defensively, " I was so careful… I checked and rechecked everything. Nothing could've gone wrong. "

" Well, something went wacky. This isn't the Buffy we know" Faith says, walking over to the shaking girl. She gently takes her hand, and Buffy winces. She looks and sees the wounds.

" God, you're hands. " Faith says," What happened…" then it hits her, " I can tell you one thing you forgot, Red." Faith says, her tone derisive.

" What?" Willow asks. She's feeling cornered, and her anger is rising.

" Where Buffy was when you cast this spell. In a coffin, buried 6 feet deep. She had to claw her way out" She shows Willow Buffy's hands, which are badly cut and bleeding, " I'm going to take her upstairs and bandage her hands".

Willow looks at Faith, her expression guilty and defiant at the same time. She starts to follow Faith up the stairs until Faith, exasperated, holds out a hand, stopping her.

"Right now she's got enough to deal with, don't you think, Red? I don't need help bandaging her hands. Stay here. This isn't done yet" Faith says, turning away and starting upstairs, leading the confused Buffy with her.

" This isn't my fault!" She calls after the departing Faith. She walks back downstairs, and goes to the kitchen, getting herself a glass of water. She takes it with her to the dining room, where she sits, sipping it, trying to calm down.

" it's not my fault" She says, in a lower tone, _I did it all right, Willow ponders, It would've been right, except for those vampires attacking. One of them smashed the urn. Maybe that's what went wrong. Maybe… it didn't have time to complete… it brought her back before all of her essence could be combined. Some of her core must've been lost. But… damn… how was I supposed to know there'd be a vampire attack? I suppose that was my fault? The ritual was specific, it had to be at the gravesite, at midnight. How could I avoid it? Maybe I shoulda brought Faith in. She could've stood guard, keeping the bad away. NO! That's stupid. She woulda just objected, and made a scene about it. Just like she did after she found out what we were doing. She would've nixed the whole idea. _

_Maybe it was a bad idea. Maybe I shouldn't have done it. It certainly didn't turn out the way I wanted it to turn out. Maybe I shoulda just let it alone. But I couldn't. I had to do something. Things just weren't right. Look at Dawn. Stealing. That wouldn't happen if Buffy had been here. She was miserable, acting out. Faith was miserable, too. I couldn't leave it like that. We all missed her, needed her. And I… we were sure she was in some hell dimension, suffering torture. I couldn't leave it like that. I had to fix it. I had to save her. I had to bring her back. I **did** bring her back. Just…there are problems… But I can fix this, I know I can. I… I'll research it, find some way to restore her memories. I … there's gotta be a way…I know it. I can do this. I can make it right! Faith's wrong, I did the right thing, I know it. I just gotta find the way to bring back her memory. I'll do that. Then Faith can't bitch at me about it._

_I'll fix this, I swear._

Willow sits, sipping her water, already trying to figure ways to restore Buffy's memory.

* * *

Faith leads Buffy into the bathroom, seating her on the edge of the tub.

" Let me see your hands" Faith says, gently.

Buffy shies away, the memory of clawing through the casket and earth still fresh. She's still freaking about that; freaking about everything. They were talking about her down there. Bringing her back from the dead? This night, everything and everyone in it is too weird. She's starting to panic, her breathing shallow and fast. She needs to get away… somewhere where she can figure it all out. _These people say they're my friends, but I don't know them. They could be lying, but why? I can't think… can't remember. If I could only remember something…anything! _ She starts to moan softly, her panic and frustration reaching a high. She starts to edge away , hitting her head with her hands trying to make herself remember. But it's all too much. She feels trapped, cornered. Faith tries to approach her, but she bats her away, covering herself trying to hide. She needs to hide.

" Buffy… it's ok" Faith says, soothingly. She approaches Buffy slowly, trying not to panic her further, " I just want to help you. I'm not going to hurt you. I just want to bandage your hands".

Buffy looks at Faith warily. She's trying to read her face. She sees concern, and worry… but nothing bad. She calms a little bit, and holds out her hands. They are cut, and bleeding. She decides to trust Faith… for now, anyway.

Faith, seeing a change, moves back. Buffy goes and sits on the edge of the tub. Her eyes are glued on Faith, watching every move she makes. Faith fills the sink with warm water, and gets a washcloth and soap. She moves to Buffy, and begins to gently wash the wounds… Buffy wincing at times, withdrawing her hands…then putting them out again. Faith takes it slowly and patiently, waiting for Buffy to accept the care being given. Faith, all the while she is tenderly taking care of Buffy, keeping her exterior calm, is seething inside. _This is just way beyond wrong,_ Faith fumes._ She's helpless. She's like a child. She doesn't know who or what to trust, she's afraid of me. God, she's been lots of things, but never afraid of me! She doesn't know me, not even a tiny bit. It… it's like we've never been together! Strangers, we're nothing but strangers._

After she finishes, she looks at Buffy. She's bedraggled and covered in grime. Faith decides it might be best for her to shower, then put on the bandages.

" Buffy, I'm going to get you some towels and a change of clothing. I think maybe you could use a shower?" Faith says, looking at the docile woman.

Buffy, feeling grimy and sweaty, nods. She can still smell the stink of the grave on her, and wants desperately to wash it off. Faith smiles tightly, and gets up to get the towels and clothing. Buffy reaches out and stops her.

" Thanks" Buffy says, smiling shyly. Faith gets up and leaves the bathroom.

As she's getting the towels, her insides are churning. She feels like vomiting. _ This is worse. 100 times worse. God, I never thought I'd think this, but I wish she weren't here… I wish she were still dead. Shit… that' s bogus. I want her alive… but not like this. NOT LIKE THIS!!! It's … she's… this isn't Buffy. it's her body, but not her. _ Faith takes the towels out of the closet, and has to count to 10 not to slam the door. She walks to the bedroom to get some clothes for Buffy. _It's a cruel fucking joke. Her body is here, but she's somewhere else. I can't touch her without her wondering if I'm going to hurt her. I look in her eyes, but their blank… at least where I'm concerned. This …sucks. How'm I supposed to be with her, and not love her? How … god, she… it's never going to be the same. She's… new. It'll be … torture to be with her, see her, and not love her. Oh, god, I can't even think that way. I love her… but… is that her? I hate this!!!! She doesn't love me, she can't love me… I'm a blank to her. Goddamn you Red, if you wanted to hurt me, you did. Big time. Big fucking time!!!!_

Faith, wrapped up in her thoughts, enters the bathroom without thinking. Buffy is just finishing her shower, stepping out. She squeals in surprise, and Faith, red faced, backs out.  
" Sorry, sorry…god, … ummm… just reach out through the door, and I'll hand you the stuff" She calls through the door, feeling embarrassed. _God, it's not like I've never seen her naked before. SHE doesn't know that. This is embarrassing and incredibly painful and stupid! I gotta have "letch" written on my forehead. _The door opens, and Buffy sticks her hand out. Faith gives her the towels and clothing and the hand disappears back inside the bathroom. Faith sighs, cooling her heels in the hall. She can feel the anger building in her, and she takes deep breaths to tamp it down. _It's not her fault… she doesn't remember the last 3 years. How am I gonna do this?_ Faith leans her head against the wall._ How am I gonna pretend that the last three years never existed? Everything I've done in those years is tied up with B. This is bogus. I shoulda left when she died. Hopped on my bike, and got my ass outta here. But I couldn't. There was the P-nut. What was I supposed to do? B asked me to take care of her. And… leaving Buffy behind? How could I do that? But now I gotta. I'm supposed to pretend I guess, that we never existed. How do I do that?_

" Faith?" Buffy opens the door and sticks her head out, " I'm decent" Faith looks at her, cleaned up, fresh faced, and thinks _ No babe, your gorgeous… None of that, Faith. That's so over. _ She sighs, and walks in.

"Faith, you really don't have to do this" Buffy says, quietly, " I can bandage myself".

" I want to" Faith replies, " It's no big, B … er … Buffy"

" Why do you call me Bea? I don't understand that. " Buffy asks.

" Not 'Bea' as in Beatrice, B…the initial of your first name. Kinda a nickname I gave you, I guess. Bad habit of mine. Do it with everyone. Sorry, I'll try to remember…" Faith says, as she gets the med kit.

"It's ok… kinda… cute, I dunno…but you can call me B, if you want" Buffy says. Faith pauses for a second, turned away from Buffy. She can't believe how that little thing is affecting her. She furtively wipes a tear, and turns to Buffy.

" Ok, B, let me have your hands" Faith says, kneeling before Buffy, who's sitting on the edge of the tub. Buffy holds out her hands, and Faith notes the wounds are already closed, starting to heal. _Slayer healing is still intact._ She puts some antiseptic on the wounds, which elicits a small cry from Buffy. Faith carefully applies the bandages, and then wraps them in tape.

"Well, you're done. See, not so bad" Faith smiles at Buffy. She puts the med kit away, and turns back to Buffy.

" So… are you hungry? Thirsty?" Faith asks, solicitously. Buffy shakes her head, then yawns.

" A little tired" Buffy says. " Could sleep."

"Yeah, it's been a tough night for you. C'mon, I'll show you you're room" Faith says. She leads Buffy to the bedroom they once shared. She turns on the light. " Here we go… your room".

She looks around and smiles. " This is nice, " She says approvingly. She notes the bed is unmade, and the clothes over the chair by the vanity. Her brow scrunches up.

" Ummm… if I've… been gone… how come this room is …who's been living in this room?" She asks, curious.

Faith stares at the floor, trying to figure a way around this. She can't see one, so she tells the truth.

" We used to share the room, B" Faith says, distantly. " While you were … gone… I used it."

"We shared the room? But there's only one bed…how…" Buffy says, looking puzzled. She looks at Faith, who's blushing a little, and turned away. It slowly dawns on her. " you mean… you and… I…we …?" Buffy asks, her voice almost a whisper.

"Not important, B. I'll get my stuff out tomorrow. I can make something for myself downstairs, or something" Faith says, not wanting to look at Buffy. Buffy, however , is staring intently at her.

"It's very important, Faith. It's part of my past. I want to know" Buffy says, firmly.

"Sorry, B. I can't deal with it right now. Maybe later, not now" Faith says, her voice low." It's past tense. Let it go at that".

Buffy senses a wall between them. She decides not to push it. She changes the subject.

Faith?" Buffy asks, " What were you and that other girl…what was her name again?… what did you mean… "You're spell worked" … were you talking about me?"

"Yes," Faith says, hesitantly. She's at a loss how to explain this to Buffy. _She doesn't believe in vampires. How'm I gonna convince her Red is a witch, and cast a spell to bring her back?_ She decides to just lay it out for her, " Buffy, I've got to tell you some things that are going to hard for you to understand. Or believe. But it's the truth, so please try to believe, ok?"

" Alright, " Buffy, puzzled, says. " I'll try"

Faith sighs. " About 4 months ago, you died" Faith says, calmly, " You saved all of us from something really bad" She decided trying to explain Glory and Dawn and all of that was not going to fly right now, if ever." It was… terrible, Buffy. We all missed you terribly" Faith says. She wonders if maybe Willow hadn't missed Buffy a little _TOO _much." Frankly it's been bad here, Buffy, without you" Faith says, truthfully enough." I know you have trouble accepting supernatural stuff, but … Willow is a witch, Buffy. She's a powerful witch. She… well, she cast a spell to resurrect you from death". She tries to read Buffy's reaction, but Buffy's face is just blank… she can't tell if she's believing this or not. She continues, " I… I found out earlier tonight what she was doing. When you didn't come back, we thought she'd failed. We left, not knowing you'd been … brought back. That's why no one was there when you… dug your way out." Faith stops. She didn't realize how hard it was going to be telling this. Thinking of Buffy digging her way out of her grave, and being all alone, not know what was going on, made her sick." I was out patrolling when I came across you…with those vamps." Faith stops.

"Patrolling? Are you a security guard, or something? I … you're not wearing a uniform" Buffy says, confused.

" Umm… no, not exactly" Faith says. How does she explain a slayer? God, this is murder!

" I was really dead?" Buffy asks. Trying to accept something that just didn't make sense.

" Yeah… you were" Faith says. She looks at Buffy to see if it's too much for her to understand.

" Dead" Buffy says, quietly, " But I'm alive now? I'm not … well, like a zombie or nothing… like in the movies?"

" No… no… you're alive, Buffy" Faith says.

" Why can't I remember anything?" Buffy says, plaintively, " It's just a huge blank. Why?".

" I… we don't know, Buffy" Faith says. She knows, she so knows, " something must've gone wrong."

"Went wrong?" Buffy says, her voice sounding funny, " Yeah, I guess something went wrong. I don't remember anything. That's really wrong." She feels her face flushing, and is feeling angry, " Why… why'd you do this… spell, if this could go wrong? It's … god, what were you thinking? Do you think I like this? Not knowing my name or anything else! It's hell, not knowing. Did anyone think about that? Did anyone think?"

" Buffy… no one knew it would turn out like this…" Faith says, defensively._ God, what am I so defensive about? I didn't do this! I didn't WANT this!_

" I wish you'd left me dead! At least, it wouldn't be like this." Buffy says, her voice beginning to rise. " Get out now, please. Just leave me alone… get OUT!"

Faith, stung, backs away. She turns, and leaves the room. She stands in the hallway, feeling like her body is made of stone. She can't move. She's barely breathing . _ She hates me. She despises me. The Buffy I knew, she's gone. Her body's here, but … she's gone. She's not coming back. Ever._ Faith feels like acid has been poured down her throat; everything inside her hurts. She wants to cry, she wants to break something, hurt something like she's hurting. Grief, pain and anger churn through her, anger coming out as the winner. _This is your fault, Red. She… was happy. You brought her back, and she's damaged. You're not getting away with this, Red. Don't even think it._

Faith, her temper boiling, walks downstairs to confront Willow.

* * *

Faith finds Willow in the living room, sitting on the couch. She's intently studying a book. A volume on magic.

" Faith, I think I can fix this. I just need to find…." Willow says, but Faith interrupts her. She comes over, grabs the book out of Willow's hands, and flings it across the room, hitting a vase, smashing it to pieces. Willow stares at Faith, horrified.

"What… why'd you do that?" Willow asks, feeling fear in the pit of her stomach.

"No more goddamn magic, Red" Faith says, hissing, " Haven't you done enough?" She turns away, because if she looks at Willow, she's going to hurt her… bad.

"What is wrong with you? Why're you so mad?" Willow demands.

Faith is floored. Even after seeing Buffy the way she is, Willow still doesn't get it.

" You even HAVE to ask that?" Faith retorts," You don't get it yet? You're supposed to be so smart, Red, figure it out. Why would I be mad? Hmmm?" Faith mocks her

" It's not my fault…" Willow says, before Faith cuts in.

" Not your fault. Whose fault IS it then, Red? Tara? It's her fault? Is that what you're telling me? Maybe it was Xander? Maybe he's the guilty one. Or Anya? Or maybe the whole bunch of you. Tell me, Red, who's idea was it? Who planned it? Who decided to play with forces she didn't understand? WHO, RED?" Faith is so angry, her face is splotched with red.

Willow, never seeing her this angry before, backs away.

"Faith , calm down" Willow exclaims. " I can fix this, I know it".

" Calm down. How'm I supposed to calm down, Red? You brought back Buffy's shell. That's not Buffy. That's…" She stops, so angry and frustrated, she can't verbalize. She breathes deeply and continues, " She doesn't know who she is. And guess what, Red. She blames ME. Right, I'm the bad guy… again! Why? Because I didn't stop you. I didn't know what little secrets you were hiding. I thought I could trust you. You sure had me fooled, didn't you Red?" Faith is livid, " You and your little plans to bring back Buffy. Why? Why did you bring her back? What reason?"

" Because you and Dawn were suffering" Willow says, her own temper starting to rise, " I saw you walking around her, constantly out of it. You think you've been such a big help around here?" Willow says, " think again, Faith. You've been so consumed with grief, so in your own world, if not for me and Tara, Dawn wouldn't even be noticed, half the time."

"That's crap, Red, and you know it" Faith snaps, " Dawn is everything to me. I'd never let her get hurt . You're just trying to throw the blame on me. That's not gonna work, Red!"

" Really?" Willow rejoins," How about the drinking, Faith?"

"What?" Faith responds, angrily, " What's that got to do with anything?"

" That's real nice for Dawn, don't you think? I hide the damned bottles I find, so she won't see them. But you think it's good for a young girl to see her … 'guardian' drunk?"

"Dammit. I make sure I don't drink until after she's asleep!" Faith spits out," Why kind of moron do you think I am?"

' A pretty damned big one, if you think she doesn't notice the hangovers" Willow says, " You wake up pale and sick, you're eyes bloodshot, and usually dull as a butter knife. Think she doesn't notice ?"

"Pretty lame, Red" Faith sneers, " So, I guess, out of the goodness of your 'pure' heart, you brought Buffy back, huh? Well, I'm not buying that one. It stinks, Red."

" Oh? So, why did I do it then, Faith? Why don't you tell me?" Willow spits out, ready to fight.

"You brought her back because YOU wanted her back. That's why. Any other reason you try to foist on it is bogus, Red!" Faith snaps, " You talk about me not paying attention? Who was it found out that Dawn was stealing? You? Tara? Don't think so. You were so wrapped up in your schemes and your magicks, that you didn't even get she was stealing stuff. I admit, I was slow at it, but I at least found it out , and took steps to fix it. If I left it to you, she'd still be shoplifting stuff. Don't give me that excuse, Red. Admit the truth. You wanted Buffy back, and you brought her back because of that. Your own selfish reasons!"

"Get over yourself, Faith. You think you know everything. Well, you're so wrong" Willow says, her hackles rising, " I brought her back for yours and Dawn's sake. I also thought she might be suffering torment in a hell dimension. I was wrong about that, but strangely, I didn't learn about that until last night! Secrets, Faith? What about that secret? Hmmm? Why didn't you share that with anyone? Talk about selfish!"

" You're so full of it, Red, you reek. You brought her back for my sake? For Dawn's sake? Gimme a break. You brought her back for your own sake. You don't give a rat's ass about me! You've never liked me, Red. Fess up. You just tolerated me. You couldn't deal with the fact that Buffy loved ME. That she chose me over you, every time. It galled you that she preferred some street kid to you. Why don't you just admit it, Red. You hate me, and you do anything to hurt me. Including bringing Buffy back wrong!" Faith glares at Willow.

" You… bitch!" Willow hisses, " How dare you? I've done nothing but try to be your friend, and this … this is … you're a damned liar ! Why don't you admit you were jealous of Buffy and my friendship. You didn't like that she confided in me, when she wouldn't with you. Wanna know why, Faith? " Willow is glaring at Faith, her green eyes flashing. Despite the fact that the slayer could wipe the floor with her, she'd so love to smash her in the face right now. Wipe that self righteous smirk off her face.

"Oh, please, Red" Faith says, her tone dripping with acid," Please enlighten me!" _Like I'd believe anything you say, bitch._

" She didn't trust you, Faith. She never knew where she stood with you" Willow spits out, " She always was afraid how'd you handle something important. You were all over the map, way she saw it." Willow's face takes on a condescending sneer, "You were like a spoiled child, Faith. If things didn't go just you're way, you'd get all pissy and withdraw, never trying to work stuff out. She had a lot of crap going on, but did you care? I mean, did you care about how it affected her? Don't think so. You just cared how it affected you. You wanted the fun, but not the pain that goes along with it, Faith. So get off your high horse, cuz you're no paragon, girl. There were lots of things I know she shoulda shared with you. But she didn't. Cuz she was afraid you'd just up and leave her again. Hop on your bike and leave her in the dust!"

Faith feels like someone just cut through her guts with a hot knife. Willow hit a big nerve. Buffy had so many times shut her out, and Faith had made herself nearly sick trying to figure it. She remembers how she was ready to walk on Buffy because of it. Now she hears that Buffy never felt she could rely on her. That she was afraid if things got too tough, Faith would just book. _It's like it was a lie… three years of a lies. B never loved me? How could she, if she never trusted me to be there through anything. This…this has gotta be a lie! It's a fucking lie! _ But Faith feels the knives ripping at her heart. _Buffy… God, how could you feel that way? After all the hell we went through. It's just not so. It's just not SO!!! If you didn't trust me, why did you want me to look after Dawn?_ Faith feels a cold chill running through her, something she's not felt in a while. She despises Will for trying to make her doubt Buffy's love.

" And yet" Faith says, her tone cold and hard, dismissing Willow," When it came to the crunch, whom did Buffy choose to look after the one thing she valued more than her own life?" Faith says, her voice cold, hard and cutting. She looks at Willow like she's some kind of specimen under a microscope. " Good shot, Red. You nearly did it. You tried to make me believe that Buffy didn't trust me, or really love me. Well, it failed." Faith , her lip curved in a sneer, looks at the Red-haired Wiccan." You're pathetic. You're beyond pathetic. I've tried to be your friend, tried for Buffy's sake, to care about you all these years, and this is the crap you pull. This is what I think of you, Red" Faith hawks up saliva, and spits on Willow.

Willow loses it. She sees Red, and she sees the object of her torment standing in front of her, mocking her, spitting on her. She feels the dark power rush through her, and her eyes go black. She starts to mutter a spell.

" **Paro is res in incendia**"

"Set this thing on fire!"

A fireball starts to form in Willow's hand. Faith sees it, and her eyes go wide. She looks around for an escape._ SHIT! I forgot. Don't piss off the witch!_ Desperate, she's about to rush at Willow, when both of them hear a voice from above

" STOP IT. BOTH OF YOU. NOW!"

Both look up to see a very angry Tara looking down at them. Faith feels … relief. Willow looks like a child caught with her hand in the cookie jar. She meekly mutters the counter spell.

"**Permissum is incendia exsisto exstinguo**"

" Let this fire be put out"

The fireball fades, but the tension in the room remains strong. The Slayer and the Witch stand staring at each other, shooting daggers at each other with their eyes. Tara, frightened(what was with the fireball?), confused, angry and still fighting off sleep, descends the stairs and stands between the two of them.

"Alright, the both of you" She says, in a tone she's unaccustomed to using, " What in the name of the Goddess are you two fighting about? You're so loud, you're gonna wake Dawnie up!"

Faith looks at Willow with a smirk on her face. " Go ahead, Red. Tell her" Faith says, her tone cold as ice. " Tell her ALL about it!"

"Tell me what?" Tara says, bewildered. She looks at Willow for explanation

Willow, caught in the crosshairs, just stands there, face sullen. She looks down and mumbles " Nothing ".

"Aw, c'mon, Red. Fess up. You were so damned eager to 'fix' it. I'm sure you can tell Tara what you did" Faith says, her tone ironic.

"Faith? That's enough" Tara says firmly. Faith, chastened, turns away, flushing. Tara turns to Willow, " Ok, Willow, calmly" She reaches out, and takes Willow's hands in hers, " Calmly tell me what this is about".

Before Willow can say anything, from up at the top of the stairs, a voice floats down to interrupt them

" Me. They were fighting about me" Buffy says, staring down at the group.

Tara looks up, and can't believe her eyes. " Buffy?" She calls out, " Is that really you?"

" I don't know. I can't remember. That's what they call me… All I know is I hate this. I hate all of this. I just want to get the hell out of here" Buffy, angry and confused, rushes away, back to the bedroom Faith left her in. They hear the door slam.

Faith starts to go after her, and Red has the same idea. They're both stopped cold by Tara.

" NO. Stop!" She says firmly, asserting herself, " I think you've both screwed this up plenty tonight. I'll talk to her!" She sees that if she leaves, Willow and Faith will probably get into it again. She's got to separate them. _ I wonder who're the real adults around here, sometimes. _Tara sighs to herself 

"Willow, go up to our room, and wait there!" Tara says. Willow hesitates, and Tara says, more firmly, " That WASN'T a request! Go!". Willow, throwing one last angry look at Faith, trudges up the stairs to her room. Tara turns to Faith, and says, " Ok, what's going on here? Did the spell work? What did Buffy mean?" Tara says, calmly but firmly.

Faith, as briefly as possible, explains the events of the evening. Tara's eyes go wide at a few parts, then she quietly digests what Faith's told her.

" I think you've both made a pretty hash of this" Tara decides, " We have one frightened, confused woman on our hands, who can't even remember her own name. Did either of you consider her feelings and needs?" Tara asks. Faith looks at her hands. " No, I guess not. Look, Faith, I'm not angry with you… ok, maybe I'm a little angry with you, and with Willow. I expected more from you. This kind of behavior I expect from Dawn, not you two" Tara says. She smiles a tiny smile, " Did you really spit on Willow?" She asks. Faith nods, blushing. Tara half grins, " It was the wrong thing to do, but after what she said, I can sorta understand it. Don't tell her I said that, though. I'll deny it." Faith looks up, hopeful. " Look, you stay down here, and I mean it. Stay here. I'll talk to Buffy. So far, I haven't made her feel too strange. I hope I can ease her a bit. But you two… stop acting like children, and start considering what's best for all. Got it?" Faith nods, embarrassed.

" Ok, I'll call you WHEN and IF I need you, ok?" Tara says, quietly.

" Ok " Faith says, feeling pretty stupid.

Tara gets up, and starts towards the stairs. She turns back, and addresses Faith.

" Don't worry. Willow's going to hear about it, too" Tara smiles briefly, turns and walks upstairs.

Faith sits down on the couch, wishing right now she were anywhere but here.

* * *

Tara approaches the door to Buffy and Faith's room. She looks in on Dawn, who fortunately (_Goddess only knows how) _is still asleep. She knocks quietly on Buffy's door.

Buffy opens the door a crack. She looks out, and sees the strange woman who was standing between Faith and … god, what's her name? Willow…yeah… that's it. She stands there, staring at her. She finally speaks.

"What do you want?" Buffy says, warily. She's tired of these 'friends' of hers. All she wants is to go. 

"Buffy, can we talk?" Tara asks gently, " I know you're confused and upset. I just want to help, if I can".

Despite herself, Buffy feels a sense of … trust?… something good… about this woman. She opens the door wider.

" I don't know what there's to talk about. God, I don't know anything. I…" She trails off, feeling incredibly stupid on top of everything else. She sighs. " Come in, please" She invites Tara in.

The two women sit on the bed. For awhile, their silent, just sitting and thinking. Tara sits, rubbing her hands together, trying to think of what to say to Buffy. Buffy sits, picking at her shirtsleeve, not understanding any of this. She wants to understand; she wants to know. But she's afraid to know too. She has no idea what is going on, who she was, or what any of this means. All she knows right now is she's afraid and alone. So terribly alone; it's hell to be alone and not know who you are.

" Who are you?" Buffy asks finally.

"Tara " Tara replies, " I'm … a friend of Willows."

"Oh," Buffy replies, " do we know each other?"

" Oh, yes," Tara says emphatically, " We've known each other nearly 2 years. We're friends, too".

"Really?" Buffy says, looking over at Tara hopefully. Something about the woman's quiet confidence encourages trust in Buffy. " I'd… I'd like that".

Tara smiles briefly at Buffy. They sit again, quiet for a little while. Buffy turns back to her.

" Why?" She asks, " Why'd they … I still can't understand this, but… why'd they bring me back?".

"Actually, Buffy, it was Willow that brought you back. Faith didn't know anything about it, "Tara says.

" Oh, " Buffy says, " Alright, why did Willow bring me back, then?".

"It's complicated, Buffy" Tara says, a small pained expression crossing her face. " I don't have an easy answer for you".

" You're the first one that hasn't treated me like a 'tard" Buffy says, a slightly angry edge to her tone, " Please don't start now".

" I'm sorry, Buffy. I didn't mean to make you feel like that" Tara says, " I just meant, I don't understand it all myself. I do know that Willow did have some good reasons for bringing you back. Your sister…." Tara is interrupted by Faith.

" My sister?" Buffy queries, " Faith said I had a sister. Kinda dumb, forgetting your sister".

" Would you like to see her?" Tara says

" Yeah I think I would" Buffy says.

They get up, and walk across the hall to Dawn's room. Dawn is still sleeping. They look in on the sleeping girl.

" She's kinda pretty, isn't she?" Buffy says, quietly. Tara smiles at her. She nods her head, indicating they should go back to Buffy's room.

Tara continues her tale, " Dawn…that's your sister, and Faith, missed you terribly. I think Willow wanted to ease their suffering. Also, she was afraid that wherever you were, you were suffering torment. We didn't know exactly where you were." Buffy looks very puzzled at this. Tara sees that this is going to require some background.

For the next couple of hours, Tara fills in Buffy's life as completely as she knows it. She is frequently interrupted by a less than believing Buffy, who just can't quite get her head wrapped around all that Tara is saying. Still, she finds she trusts her…certainly more than the other two women. Finally, at the end of it, she sits there with her mouth agape.

" So, I died fighting some hell god, trying to save my sister, and the world?… and Willow resurrected me? Using magic?" Buffy asks incredulously. Tara nods solemnly. Buffy sits back, trying to absorb everything Tara told her. _ This is totally nuts_ she thinks to herself _nobody has a life like that. It sounds like a TV show. Or a movie, or something. Not like someone's life. They must be crazy. But…how did they bring me back, then?_ DID _they bring me back then? What else fits? I just suddenly lost my memory and was buried for no good reason? _ She looks at Tara, and continues _ I don't think she'd lie to me. Not deliberately. And she seems sane enough… but then, she lives with these others. That doesn't exactly give her the bona fides, does it? God, this is just crazy. I mean, I'd like to believe I'm some kinda super chick with super powers that goes around fighting evil monsters and stuff. Kinda cool. But, it's just totally silly._

"Tara, I … I don't want to hurt your feelings. I think you've been straight with me… or, at least you think you have. But c'mon… think about it. It just sounds too … insane to be real" Buffy says, a little regretfully. She'd really like to believe it. But it's just too out there…

The memory of earlier this morning kicks in. Faith battling those creeps that tried to attack her. How…distorted their faces were… all crumpled like…and those teeth! Like … vampires! … and how that creep Faith was fighting turned to dust… and how she somehow broke that other creeps leg… just kicking it. _Could it be? Aw, c'mon, now you're going nuts. NO such thing as vampires and ghoulies and monsters._

"Buffy?" Tara says, " Can I show you something?"

"Sure" Buffy shrugs. _ Why not?_

Tara pulls a trunk from the end of the bed. Buffy, curious, comes over by her. Tara opens the lid, and it looks for all the world to be a typical hope trunk… they usual keepsakes, etc. stored inside. Tara pulls off the shelf, and underneath, there are … Crosses, stakes, holy water, and assorted weapons.

"Huh?" Buffy says, looking at Tara, " What's all this stuff?".

"Your supplies… yours and Faiths" Tara replies. Buffy looks at it, and …gets an uneasy feeling. Like it's familiar… and not. She reaches out, and picks up a knife. It feels…right. She turns it in her hand, and examines it. It… seems familiar. Suddenly she drops it, and backs away from the chest, her face fearful.

" Buffy?" Tara says, going to Buffy… but Buffy begins to back away from her, too. This is just too crazy… too insane. It can't be happening.

"No, no, no! You're lying to me, I know you are" Buffy says, quietly panicking, " This … isn't… real!" She says, backing into a corner.

" Buffy" Tara comes to her, not trapping her, but just getting closer to her. " You felt something. I know you did".

"It…felt familiar… I… felt like I'd used it, a lot… but that's just nuts!" Buffy says, her voice anxious, " This is all insane. I don't know why you're doing this… but … " Buffy looks around the room, feeling claustrophobic." Please… go away…now…".

Tara sees that Buffy is in overload mode. She walks to the door, and turns back, " Ok, Buffy. You need time to think. But, if you need to talk, or have questions, or need anything… I'm just down the hall. Ok?" Buffy nods, but isn't really paying attention. Tara looks at her, the sympathy written all over her face. She turns and leaves the room.

Buffy, feeling totally confused, wanders around the room. _This is crazy. CRAZY. Run…RUN NOW! _ Her mind screams at her, but somehow she can't. Something in what Tara told her resonates with something deep inside her. She can't remember any of it, it's totally like a novel. But somehow, it rings true. _ The inmates have taken over the asylum. Run, girl, save yourself. Or you'll be as nutty as they are! _ _But…what if it's not nuts? What if it's true?_ She wanders around the room, looking at things. Some seem familiar, some don't. She looks at the pictures on the mirror, on the dresser…all over the room. Here's one with her and that red-headed girl…Willow…and some guy. Here's one of her with her sister, Dawn. _Sister, that's so… god, why can't I remember anything about her?_ Here's one with her and Faith… kissing? She smiles. _We DO look happy. I wanna be happy. _She wanders back to the trunk…looking down inside it. She picks up a…_ god, is this a sword? … _She swings it around, playfully…and it just feels so…natural. A shiver goes through her…_ Slayer. You're the slayer. That's gotta be a fairy tale. Doesn't it? _ She puts the sword back into the trunk, and closes it back up. She sits on the bed, then lies back, frustrated. _ It's all too much to handle. God, what do I do now? _ Finally, exhaustion takes over, and Buffy falls asleep, still trying to puzzle it all out.

* * *

Faith is currently sitting on the couch, wringing her hands nervously.

For the last two hours she's been on tenterhooks. She's been up and down, pacing, sitting… a few times she even climbed the stairs, determined to go in and just talk to Buffy. She stopped herself, however, not wanting to mess things up further. She felt guilty, even though she hadn't had anything to do with Buffy's being resurrected. She'd let her anger get the better of her, rather than take care of Buffy and her needs. She should've tried harder with Buffy, but she'd been so angry with Red, she couldn't wait to come down and ream her out.

Still pissed at Red, though. No, not pissed…angry. Those things she said to me… I'm so tired of this. I've tried for 3 years to be what 'they' wanted. I've worked my ass off making myself over into a 'better' person. Gee, and what do I get? Heartache, pain and a whole lotta crap. Well, excuse me for not being born in one of your little suburban houses, with the 2 parents and the two cars in the garage. Excuse me for being a street kid who's had to fight just to live til tomorrow. Excuse me for making something more of myself. Excuse me for daring to love your 'friend', Red. Believe me, wasn't my choice to fall for her. But I did, and I'm damned tired of having to defend it all the fucking time. Especially to you!!!! Get OVER it, Red. Like it or not, she loved me back…much as she could. Looking down your nose at me? Please give me a break. You're not such hot stuff, kiddo. You got no right to make me feel like you did, tonight. You got no right to think you're better than me, because girlfriend, you want to add it up at the end of the month, I'm the one supporting this household…by far. I'm not going to some college and working part time to 'contribute'. I'm makin' sure there's food on the table, lights on when you hit the switch, and all the other collected little things that make life go. If it weren't for me, girl, you'd be askin' mummy 'n daddykins to be helpin' out, trust me!

_And remember, little witch, it wasn't me that screwed up that spell. You fucked it up, so if I get over the top mad, you better not threaten me again, girl. Or I'll…._

At this point, she hears a noise, and looking up, sees Tara coming down the stairs. Swallowing her rising temper, she goes over to her.

" Is she ok, Tara? Is she …feeling better?" Faith asks, concerned.

" Let's sit down, Faith. We need to talk a little" Tara says, heading for a chair. She's frankly tired. She's not used to keeping a conversation going for 2 hours, never mind it's late and her sleeps been interrupted. And she's worried about Buffy, Faith and Willow. And Dawn.

" I've calmed her down, but she's still very freaked out over this, Faith" Tara says, " She still can't bring herself to believe half of what I told her, though it's the truth. She's scared. She doesn't understand what's going on…you can't blame her"

"No, of course not. It's gotta be so… weird for her. Hell, if it happened to me, I'd probably running away 'bout now" Faith says. She adds, muttering to herself…almost inaudibly, " Like anyone would care".

Tara looks at her, surprised. " I'd care, Faith" She says, quietly. Faith blushes. She didn't really mean for her to hear that.

" Yeah, but I'd betcha Red would be dancin' if I happened to disappear" Faith says, a little bitterly.

"Faith, " Tara sighs, " Willow doesn't hate you. She just doesn't get you, is all ".

" Yeah, well… I don't get her, either. She acts like she's better than me. Like I'm some kinda sponge, not pulling my weight. But I'm the one makin' sure things go around here, working full time and patrolling every night. Think that's a breeze? I try to cut her slack, why can't she do the same, huh?" Faith asks, " What do I do to deserve getting made to feel like some kinda pond scum?"

"Faith" Tara says, " Unfortunately, you both are so alike, it's …eerie. You both are protective of those you care about, you'd go to the wall for them, and you both got big hearts. Just for some reason, you rub each other the wrong way, and you can't get along. Problem is, you gotta find a way. Both of you. The sniping at each other's gotta stop. We got both Dawn and Buffy to worry about now. You got to try to settle this".

"I'll try" Faith says, reluctantly, " But I'm done putting up with the crap, Tara. I've done my best to get along here, she's gotta put out a better effort. I'm really tired of feeling like I gotta apologize for who I am all the time. I'm not exactly slackin' around here, and I don't like being made to feel like I am." Faith pauses, working to keep her temper from rising." And I really don't like takin' the blame for something I didn't do. She screwed this up, Tara. She never shoulda done it in the first place, and I so don't like her makin' me feel like it's my fault. "

"She's going to hear about it, Faith" Tara says," Trust me on that. Maybe not tonight, because frankly I'm exhausted. But I'll make sure she understands that she's gotta do better too. A lot better."

" I'm sorry, Tara" Faith says, contrite, " I should let you get to bed".

" No, we've got a little more to discuss about Buffy, Faith" Tara says, " Best to do it now, while we have a little time. Faith, I know in the past you've been patient with Buffy, but you're gonna have to be even more patient now. She simply isn't the same person anymore. If we're gonna even recover a little of who she was, we have to be extremely patient with her, especially now. I think she's still at her core, the same person, more or less. But she's different now. All her relationships with all of us are not the same. She's gotta test it out, see what's what." Tara stops, because the next part is the hardest, " Faith… you're going to have to prepare for the possibility that your and her relationship is never going to be the same".

Faith closes her eyes, and bows her head. " I know that, Tara. I kinda got that when I realized she didn't know who the hell she was, or I was, or anything. " Faith's voice grows cold, " One thing, though. I can't forgive Red for this one. She took Buffy away from me. I didn't have much, but I had my memories of her. Now those are shot, too, because she's alive. And she'll probably never love me again. And that's Red's fault, pure and simple. I won't… I can't forgive her that!". Faith looks up, her face set. Tara bites her lip. She's never seen Faith this …. unbendable before. It worries her.

"Faith, please, don't rush…" Tara starts, but Faith cuts her off.

" No, don't Tara. Don't try to defend her on this one" Faith says, " I'll do my best to get along, but frankly, if I never saw her again, it'd be too soon". She turns away, heading for the couch.

" Faith, please" Tara says, following her. Faith turns around.

"Tara, Goodnight. This isn't open to discussion now… or ever" Faith sits on the couch. " I'm tired, you're tired. Lets just leave it alone, ok?" Faith says, cutting off all further discussion.

" Goodnight, Faith" Tara says, knowing Faith isn't going to listen to anything she says on the subject. She turns for the stairs.

She suddenly feels a whole lot more tired.

* * *

To be continued.


	7. Chapter 7

**Timeless Faith**

By Norwalker

Part 7 of ?

Rating : R for language, sexual situations and violence.

Category: Romance/Angst/Drama

Disclaimer: Most, if not all of the characters depicted here are the property of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, Inc. and Fox. This is a work of fiction; any similarities to anyone living or dead are purely coincidental.

Summary: Third in a series of stories started with " Summer of faith" and continued in "Seasons of faith". In the last book, Buffy died fighting Glorificus, the Hell goddess. This book picks up where that book ended. How does Faith deal with the loss of Buffy? How does life change for the scoobies? Buffy will be with them always, but is there more to it than just memories? Stay tuned.

Spoilers: Possible season 6 and season 7 spoilers. Hope you've watched them by now.

Timeline: Season 6, maybe season 7 and beyond( don't know yet).

WARNING: **_There is always the possibility of major character death_**. Romance between members of the same gender(duh). Sexual situations between members of the same gender. This is an _Alternate Universe_ (AU) story. The real(by the series 'coda' ) relationship between Buffy and Faith never happened here. So if you're looking for the dark, knife wielding, don't give a crap about nothing but me Faith, She's not here.(ok, bit of an exaggeration, as we all know by now that Faith redeemed herself, but the "dark, evil" Faith never got a chance to live here). Violence happens. Adult themes( someday, I plan on being one, too). Sexual situations. All the usual stuff.

* * *

Tara pauses by the door to her and Willow's room. She's tired and cranky from this evening's(_goddess, it's morning_!) emotional roller coaster. Now she has to deal with Willow. She clenches her jaw, as she's wont to do in these kinds of situations. She opened the door to their room.

Willow's sitting on the bed, facing the wall, her head drooping, hands in her lap. Tara, despite her feelings, couldn't help but feel a little sorry for her. She looks… so lost. Tara stands there for a moment, hesitating. She's definitely tired and doesn't want any more fighting tonight. But she had to talk about this with Willow. There was no 'letting it slide' here. What Willow's done… what they've all done… is beyond wrong. Tara knows she's responsible here, too. She should've been more… forceful with Willow, getting her to reconsider at least what she was planning. She let her heart rule her head; she saw Faith suffering, Dawn's troubles, and Willow's passion, and gave in. She went along, even supported Willow's decision, overruling Xander's and Anya's doubts and objections. Now it came back to spit in their faces; they had a very confused and frightened Buffy on their hands, an angry slayer sleeping on the couch, and now she has Willow, and she suspects things are not going to be puppy dogs and chocolates up here. She sighs internally, and heads for the bed, half-hoping Willow won't say anything, but that hope's dashed before she can reach the foot of the bed.

" I suppose you're taking _her_ side in all this" Willow says, not looking at Tara.

"_Her _side? There are sides now?" Tara says, speciously.

" You know what I mean. She's blaming me for Buffy coming back… wrong" Willow says, dejectedly.

"No, I'm not blaming just you. I'm blaming me, too" Tara says, softly

Willow looks at her in surprise. " That's … that's not right!" Willow says, " It… you're not at fault".

" I share some of the blame, Willow," Tara says, " I should've stopped you. I should've kept you from doing the spell. Instead " I went along with you… and we know the result now, don't we?" Tara sits on the other end of the bed.

" But… but we had to do it, Tara" Willow says, " We had to try. I mean, we didn't have any way of knowing that…Buffy was ok. She could've been tortured in some hell dimension. We couldn't just leave her there, could we?"

" Willow, stop it." Tara says, wearily, " stop with the ' we had to save Buffy ' speech."

"How were we supposed to know she was in a good place? " Willow protests." Faith knew. She didn't tell us. Why didn't she tell us that?"

" Would It have made a difference?" Tara asks. She turns around to look at Willow.

Willow hesitates for a split second, then says" Of course it would've."

"Don't lie to me, Willow. I can take a lot, but lying…" Tara says, turning away again.

"I'm not lying," Willow complains, " How can you say that?"

" Willow, we've been over this. I'm tired of repeating it. You've got some kind of obsession for Buffy" Tara says, her voice betraying some hurt, " I don't get it, but I guess… no, I just don't get it. You'd have found some other excuse to bring her back. The plain fact is, you wanted her back. More than any of us. Even Faith was beginning to accept she was gone. But you wouldn't".

"That's so not true" Willow asserts, " I did it because I had to do it."

" Yes. You 'had' to do it. You used forbidden magicks because you couldn't let it alone. You had to bring her back, at any cost!" Tara says, growing more and more upset.

"Yes, well, everything was wrong. Everybody was … upset. I had to fix it!" Willow says, excitedly, " I had to fix it".

" That's it exactly. You had to 'fix it' " Tara declares, " that's the whole problem, Willow. You're using way too much magic, for way too many things. That isn't what it's about!"

"But…what's magic for, if not to make right what's wrong?" Willow says.

" That's the point, Willow. You're not using magic that way. You're using it to manipulate things to be how you want them." Tara says, " You used some very dark and powerful magicks to pull this off, and it went wrong. Resurrection spells almost never go right. The only reason I thought this MIGHT work is because Buffy's death wasn't natural… not in the order of things. But even so, it … went very wrong, and now we've got to live with the consequences. Our motives weren't pure… your motives weren't pure. Don't you see that?"

"No, you're wrong. This wasn't right. This was wrong," Willow says, " She shouldn't have died. It wasn't right that she died. I was just trying to put right what went wrong. I don't understand why you can't see that. Why don't you support me in this?"

" Willow, what was done was wrong," Tara says, " She died. She shouldn't have been brought back. What am I supposed to do, just be quiet and say nothing?" Tara asks, pointedly.

" Maybe you should just be quiet!" Willow says, heatedly

Tara looks at her like she can't believe she said that. " If I didn't care about you, I would!" She says, hurt. She turns her back on Willow.

An uncomfortable silence develops between them. But Willow realizes she's gone too far. She finally speaks.

"Tara, I'm sorry" She says, turning towards Tara.

Tara just looks at her skeptically. " I'm tired, Willow. It's been a long night. Lets just go to sleep". Tara gets up, pulls back the covers and slides into bed. She's tired of talking about this.

Willow's not ready to give up.

" Tara, I really only meant it for the best" She pleads, trying to win Tara over. But it's too late in the evening, Tara is too upset and tired.

" I mean it Willow. I don't want to talk about it anymore tonight. I'm tired, I need to sleep". She turns away from Willow, pulling up the covers. Willow looks at Tara's back, realizing this isn't over yet. She sighs, and lies down on the bed, staring at the ceiling.

_It's not my fault. I did everything I could._

_( That's right, _ a small voice in her head agrees _it's not your fault)._

_I was only trying to make things right_

_( Yes. We know who's fault it's. it's her fault)._

_Yes, it's her fault._

* * *

Another pair of eyes are wide awake, staring at the ceiling

Dawn Summers watches the moonlight patterns play across her ceiling. All the time, her mind, restless, is trying to digest what she hears. They thought she's asleep… but who can sleep through all the noise? But she knows that if she gets up, goes out there, they'd only cover it up, try to hide what's going on from her. So she quietly lies in her bed, faking sleep when someone cones down the hall. And she listened.

What she hears throws her mind into turmoil. She can't believe it, it isn't true. But it's true…

Buffy is ALIVE!

Buffy is alive, but WRONG???

Buffy doesn't remember anything? Who she is, who Faith is, who anyone is?( Who I am?).

Willow did some spell, and brought her back. But it went wrong. Very wrong. Buffy came back, but without any idea of who she is. She's like a stranger. _ How can that be? How could she come back, but not know who she is? I mean, if she can't remember anything, how can she talk? _ This was all way above Dawn's head. But she hears the angry reactions, and she understands that clearly enough. _Faith's totally pissed off. Buffy's angry, and sounded scared, too. Will? She sounds… defensive and angry at Faith… Tara too, as she hears them fighting next door. Tara seems to be the only one dealing with it… but she sounds confused, and tired. And upset at Will. So, how do I feel about this?_

She doesn't know. She feels… numb. She still can't really believe it. _ I mean, it sounded like Buffy. Her voice, anyway. But … was it really her? I mean, she doesn't know who she is, so how could it be her? how'm I supposed to deal with this? Who's the 'older' sister now, if Buffy isn't… herself? How do I treat her? Do I listen to her when she tries to tell me to do something? Will she even bother? Will she even care? _

Dawn thinks of Faith. _ Poor Faith! This must be killing her. Buffy's back, and she doesn't even know her. _Dawn feels empathy for Faith… loving someone, and not being noticed. Even though it Faith that doesn't notice her. She doesn't want Faith miserable. And she doesn't want Faith by default._ If it could happen, if she could see me as Dawn, as someone special, oh yeah I'd love that. But I don't want to be a substitute for Buffy. When Buffy was gone, different story. I could be patient, I could wait 'til I was older, and Faith would see me as…sigh, but that can't happen. She loves Buffy, even if it's hopeless. She'll never see me now… I'll always be in Buffy's shadow. The kid. The P-nut._ Dawn lay watching the shifting light patterns on her ceiling. She wasn't mad at Faith. Or Buffy. She was, however, angry at Willow. _ Why'd you do it, Will? Bring Buffy back? The worst thing, the absolute worst, is you brought her back not knowing who she is, who any of us are. She' s not my sister, she's not Faith's lover. How's she gonna be happy this way? How're any of us gonna be happy this way?_

Dawn's too restless. She can't lie here anymore. It's quiet now, the rest of the house having settled down. She throws off the covers, and slips out of bed. She quietly crosses the room and enters the hallway, crossing to Buffy's room. She tries the doorknob, and it's open. She peeks in. The lamp by the bed is still burning, and Buffy is lying on top of the covers, sleeping. She feels the tug at her heart strings. No matter how annoying Buffy could be; how much she treated Dawn like a kid, Dawn still loved her. Seeing her sleeping, she looked so… innocent. Dawn quietly steals over, and best she can, covers her sister with the blankets. She has an urge to kiss her, but refrains. After what she's heard, doesn't want to wake her up and put the house back on bedlam mode again. She quietly leaves Buffy's room and heads downstairs.

She makes for the kitchen, planning on doing a little late night snacking. She nearly runs into Faith, also unable to sleep, has the same idea.

"Hey, P-nut" Faith says, backing up a bit to avoid ramming into Dawn, " Doing a late night fridge raid?"

" Yeah" Dawn says, covering, " got the tummy rumbles". She heads towards the fridge.

"Ummm… we didn't wake you, did we?" Faith asks, a bit concerned. She's hoping she can break the news to Dawn gently.

"Ummm…" Dawn stalls. Wanting to talk, and not wanting to talk. It's all kind of confused for her

Faith looks at her, and guesses the truth. " How much did you hear, P-nut?" She asks.

" Uhhh… pretty much most of it, I think" Dawn says. Faith winces. So not how she wanted her to learn about it. She goes over and puts her arm on Dawn's shoulder.

" You ok, Dawn?" She asks, seriously.

Dawn looks at her, and nods. " Just kinda major weirded, you know?" Dawn says, " How can she not remember anything?".

"Wish I knew, P-nut…damn, sorry, Dawn, I keep forgetting…" Faith smiles sheepishly." Something went wrong… must've gone wrong in the spell Willow performed." _But get her to own up to it? Oh yeah, that'll happen… in the next millennium, maybe. _She looks at Dawn, who looks rather confused… maybe a little lost. " Hey, wanna talk about it?" Faith asks.

"Kinda late, Faith, " Dawn says, " You need some sleep, and I got school in the morning"._ Huh? What the hell am I saying?_

" Aw, screw it. Gonna blow off work tomorrow" Faith says, " Wanna be here for B. If ya want, I'll write you a note for school. Getting pretty good at signing Buffy's name now". She chuckles, " Not every day your sister comes back from the dead". As soon as the words leave her mouth, she winces. _God, Faith, stupid much? Kid's probably freakin' already. Dummy!_

"That's just it, Faith" Dawn says, seeming to take the 'back from the dead' comment a lot calmer than Faith expected, " Is it really Buffy? Ok, that sounded stupid. What I mean is, since she doesn't remember anything, is she really still Buffy?"

"Gee, Dawn. Just ask me an easy one why don't ya?" Faith says, brow furrowed. " Look, I'm no like philosopher or deep thinker type. Not a newsflash there, I know. But…Ok, ummm… lets say you have a favorite CD?" Dawn looks at her quizzically, " It's just an example, Dawn. I mean, you like this CD a whole bunch. The music really talks to you; you've listened to it so many times, you can hear it in your head, ok?" Faith looks at Dawn, who nods. " One day, you look for that CD, but you've misplaced it. It's gone, you can't find it anywhere. You're bummed" Dawn gives Faith a sidelong glance. Faith continues" Ok, ok, there's a point here. Even though you can't play that CD anymore, is the music really gone?" Dawn shrugs, " I don't think so, Dawn" Faith says, " I think it's still here" She points at her head, " You can still hear the music. You know in your heart how the music made you feel. That doesn't change, just cause the CD is lost." Faith looks at Dawn to see if she's following, but Dawn looks at her like ' what does that got to do with Buffy?' … Faith sighs, and continues. " That's kinda like Buffy. She's sorta lost. But she's not gone, not really. Not as long as we hear her music in our heads and heart… She's still Buffy, we just gotta find her. Get it?" Faith sees the light come on in Dawn's eyes. _ She's a bright kid… always knew that one. _" So what we gotta do, Dawn, is find that CD…got it?" Dawn nods. Faith smiles at her.

"So, what're we gonna do, Faith?" Dawn asks," I mean, how're we gonna make Buffy _Buffy_ again?"

" Boy, you're just full of easy questions today, aren't ya, P-nut?" Faith says, then winces. " Damn, I did it again. I'm really trying here, Dawn… but sometimes I…." Dawn interrupts her.

" Look, Faith, it's no big. It's ok if you call me P-nut… I was just in a weird mood that morning" Dawn says. Dawn actually likes it when Faith calls her that. Why she made a deal of it, she'll never know. _ Oh, yeah, I wanted her to stop thinkin' of me as a kid… but… It's kinda nice she's gotta a pet name for me. It's special for me. Ok, Dawn, obsess much?_

"Thanks, Dawnie" Faith says, still trying to avoid the "P" word. " I'm no shrink, Dawn. But I kinda think we're just gonna have to be patient with her, ease her back into her life. Try to remind her of who she is and all that stuff. I'm kinda flying blind here, P-nut, but I think that's the right thing to do. I'm thinking maybe that she's still in there, somewhere, and we just gotta bring her out, ya know?" Faith looks over at Dawn , who's frowning a little. " What?" She asks, concerned.

" You kinda said to Willow that that wasn't her anymore" Dawn says, her tone strange, " That she was just a shell… not the real Buffy. I don't get it"

Faith sighs, " I was really angry at Red, Dawn, and I kinda was upset and hurt. I'd found her wandering around Restfield, not knowing who she was. She was attacked by vamps, and was really scared." Faith pauses, then adds, " Ok, I was really scared too. For her… for me, too. Thing is Dawn, grownups kinda act like kids when their upset, ya know? I said some stuff that after I cooled down, I'm kinda not proud of. I've thought about it, and that's your sister Dawn, even if she's not like knowing it."

"Are you still mad at Willow?" Dawn asks.

" Yeah, I really am, Dawn" Faith says. She sees Dawn's surprise, and explains, " It's not because of Buffy not remembering stuff, Dawn. OK, we can sorta fix that, I guess. But… she really messed with things she shouldn't have messed with. What she did… it was wrong Dawn, do you understand?" Faith searches Dawn's face, but sees she's clueless, so she goes on, "I'm no witch, but the stuff … the magic she used… is forbidden Dawn. There's got to be a reason. I… I've heard stories of people playing with resurrection spells. And … it came out really wrong. That coulda happened with B, Dawn."

"But it didn't, Faith. Not really" Dawn says, pleading Willow's case, sort of, " It turned out ok…well, mostly".

" That was pure luck, Dawn. Despite what Red said, it might've gone very differently. Buffy could've come back deformed…or worse… much worse" Faith doesn't want to scare Dawn by elaborating, "If that'd happened, then what? Could I … just let her suffer…or be a danger? What would I have to do, Dawnie? I woulda had to do something that…oh, God…I'd hate to do. And you'd hate me for doing it… think I could live with that?" Faith is really upset, feeling tears stinging her eyes. She stands and walks away from the table so Dawn can't see.

Dawn, hating seeing Faith so upset, goes over to Faith. She puts her hand on Faith's shoulder, rubbing it, trying to soothe her. She says quietly, "It's ok, Faith. She's ok. She's ok".

Faith puts her hand on Dawns, squeezing it lightly. She turns, smiling a little sadly, " Thanks. Who's the adult here, huh?" She says, teasingly." Things worked out ok, more or less, like you said. But it might not have. What Red did was… wrong, Dawn. Do you understand? She never should've done it. Ever!" Faith adds emphasis at the end.

"But…" Dawn begins. Faith stops her.

" No, Dawn. No buts. There's stuff you just don't mess with" Faith says, firmly. " Believe me," she softens her tone, " No one... wants Buffy back more than me. Knowing she's upstairs, sleeping? Makes my heart beat again, P-nut". She pauses, gathering her thoughts, " But life and death have reasons, Dawn. You don't mess with what's what there. What Red did was wrong, no matter WHAT the reason." Faith sees that Dawn still doesn't understand. " Ok, I have to tell you something. I shoulda told you before, but I guess I still have a hard time believing it myself. But you gotta understand this". Faith takes Dawn's hand, and leads her back to the dining room table.

Faith slowly tells her about her meeting with Buffy's spirit a few nights ago in the cemetery. Even now the memory brings back all the emotions she felt that night, and the tears brim in her eyes. By the time she's done, Dawn is looking at her, tears running down her cheeks. She grasps Faith's hand, and squeezes them tightly. The beauty of what happened touched her deep in her heart. They sit for a moment, both just letting their emotions run.

"You see , Dawn, she was happy" Faith finally says, her voice thick with emotion. " She was at peace. She came to try to ease our pain, and to give me a little hell for not paying enough attention to what was happening with you" She smiles at Dawn, who blushes and looks down. " No, she wasn't mad at you, baby, just sad. Me too". Impulsively, she gets up and goes to Dawn, giving her a huge hug. " P-nut, I don't say it enough, but I'm totally proud of you. I was really disappointed when I found out you'd been stealing, but you made me proud going and making restitution. You're a good girl, I really love you". Dawn, overwhelmed with emotion, starts to sob. Faith holds her, letting her cry. "Shhh…it's ok, honey, it's ok". She holds the younger Summers' sister, letting her do what she needs to do. Dawn cries, for herself, for Buffy and for Faith. Finally, she recovers herself, and looks at Faith, wide eyed… but finally understanding.

"We never should've pulled her from that, Dawnie, do you see?" Faith says. Dawn looks at Faith, bewildered.

" But you didn't have anything to do with it , Faith" Dawn says. " Me either".

"No, we didn't. I'm not holding you at all responsible. But I gotta take some blame, I guess" Faith says, remorsefully, " If I hadn't been so selfish, wanting her back… if I'd accepted what had happened… things might be different. Me grieving so hard I think just gave Red another excuse for to do what she did." Faith looks at Dawn, " What happened, it was wrong, you understand that now?" Dawn nods.

" Are you gonna make it up with Willow?" Dawn asks. She's upset with Willow for what she did, but she knows she'll forgive her. But she's not so sure about Faith, and she loves them both. She doesn't want to see unhappiness in her family.

Faith looks at her, and she can't help chuckling, " God, Dawn, you're just asking one tough question after another! You got a real future as a prosecutor, you know that? ". She stops, carefully considering her answer, " Dawn, I can forgive Willow what she did… I mean, the spell bringing back Buffy. I'm kinda … no, I'm really angry she did it, but …well, it's hard to stay mad at her for doing it. I really think she believes she did it for good reasons." She pauses…this is the really hard part," P-nut, even with everything we do, there's a good chance that we'll never get the 'real' Buffy entirely back. Our relationships with her are going to be… different. " She sees Dawn's face, and rushes on to reassure her," I think in time, you guys will re-bond as sisters. I know you will… what you two have is special and unbreakable". Faith's face gets a poignant expression, " what Buffy and I had was special, too. But… I'm not so sure we'll ever get that back." Faith feels the tears again, and turns her head away. It just hurts too much to share. She feels Dawn's hand on hers, and, with effort, tamps down her pain, " It's gone, Dawnie. Like it never was. Whatever Buffy can give me now, that's what I've got to take." Faith sighs, then continues, " Dawn, I want YOU to make it up with Red. She loves you , I know she does. But… I just can't. She took something from me more precious than my life, honey. I wish… I really wish, I could be better about this. This is kinda petty of me, I guess. I want to be a better example for you, but I just can't. I just can't". She stops to pull herself together. Sighing, she continues, "Guess I'm not such a great role model. I don't hate her, Dawn," Faith tries to reassure Dawn… maybe herself, " But right now I really, really don't like her too much."

Dawn looks at Faith , her heart breaking for many reasons. She realizes that no matter what happened, Faith could never have the depth of feeling for her that she still has for her sister. But more, she realizes that Faith's heart is breaking, and that kills her more than she'd like to admit. What Faith and Buffy had, though they fought a whole bunch, was rarer than rare. In a moment of real maturity, she realizes that her own feelings for Faith are pale in comparison to Faith's love of Buffy… and she suspects, Buffy's love of Faith. Seeing her… them… hurt like this is… it aches. As self-centered a 15 year old as she is, Dawn truly loves the people around her. What's happening to them here is , in her mind, not tolerable. Somehow, someway she's going to do something to fix it.

"Hey, P-nut…don't be going away from me too, now" Faith teases her. " Wakey-wakey, girlfriend".

Dawn smiles at Faith. "Sorry, tired I guess…" she lies.

"Yeah, it's really late. You and me, we better get a few hours before the sun makes its appearance, huh? I mean… us hot chick gotta get our beauty sleep… don't ya think?" Faith smirks, and Dawn giggles. " Anyway, we won't be much good to B if were Zombies in the mornin'… right?"

"Yeah, right, " Dawn half smiles. She gets up to head for the stair, then turns around, runs back and gives Faith a huge, tight hug. Faith…taken aback, hugs her back. " Thanks, Faith" Dawn says, kissing her cheek.

"No problem, kiddo" Faith says, really touched. " Did it help any?".

"You betcha!" Dawn says sincerely._ More than you know, Faith._

Dawn walks upstairs towards her room. She's still sorting out all she learned tonight, but one thing is paramount in her mind. Her family is in trouble, and she's got to help. _ I gotta do somethin'. But what? No ones gonna listen to me, they think I'm just a kid. _ Then the light goes on in Dawn's head. _ But I know someone who they'll listen to!_

Excited now, she looks around her room, trying to remember where she put that phone number. Finally, after a big search, she finds it. She goes over to the phone in her room. She'd made a big deal on her last birthday…before her mom died… to have a phone of her own. It'd been a tough battle, but her mom finally gave in when she realized she'd get her own phone back. She'd blocked long distance calls, but Dawn had bought a phone card, just for that reason. _ Not always as dumb as they think I am! _ She was going to make this right. But she needed help, and she knows just where to get it.

She picks up the receiver and starts dialing.

* * *

Tara feels like she's at a tennis match.

Her head has been swiveling back and forth so much, watching Willow and Faith studiously avoid each other, she's afraid she's going to get whiplash. Willow is at the dining room table, nose in a book. Tara suspects she using it more as a shield than reading it. Faith is standing in the kitchen, looking exhausted, and holding a mug of coffee. She's staring out the window. They have barely spoken, only when absolutely necessary to avoid a collision, and then it was so frosty, the freezer couldn't match it. She suddenly realizes she forgot something in when she was comparing them: they're both as hard-headed as rocks. Neither would give an inch. _But this little love-fest has gotta end _ Tara thinks _Dawn and Buffy are going to come down soon._

" Umm… I know you two … " Tara refrains from calling them what she wants to call them, " are still angry. But Dawn and Buffy are going to be coming down soon. So, you're BOTH going to have to make the effort to be civil to each other. Don't have to be kissy-face, but this isn't gonna fly, either" Tara says, firmly.

"You're right" Faith addresses Tara agreeably, " When B and P-nut come down, we gotta make sorta nice. But for now, we aint got squat to say to each other. Do we, Red?" Faith shoots the question to Willow.

Willow doesn't look up from her book. " No, we don't" She mutters something under her breath.

" I'm sorry?" Faith says, her tone cold, " I didn't hear that?"

" I said" Willow says, looking up. Her expression is oh-so-not –friendly, " Why do you do that? Give people stupid-ass nicknames. Kinda childish, don't you think?"

"Cuz I do" Faith says, her expression hardening. "Wanna make somethin' of it, _Will-Oh_?"

"Don't even start with me, Faith" Willow says, standing up. Her face is flushing red. " I'm so not in the mood for your attitude!"

"Watcha gonna do about it, witch?" Faith challenges, putting down her coffee. She moves towards the dining room table.

" Just watch me, slayer!" Willow starts for the kitchen.

"STOP IT, BOTH OF YOU!" Tara blocks them both. She is livid. She's done being patient with these…babies.

" You two are worse than Dawn. Worse than children!" Tara says, her voice angry. Faith and Willow look at her, both chastened. " There's a lot more at stake here than you're egos. Stop it, stop it NOW!!!". Both women back off.

"She started it" Faith says, complaining.

"Yeah, well…you're a poop head!" Willow mutters.

"So mature" Tara says, her tone indicating a minor apocalypse would be visited on the two of them if they didn't stop acting like children. " Listen closely. The two of you will start acting like adults, or I'll… turn you both into frogs!" Tara descends into silliness as she reaches the end of her patience.

Willow blanches, and backs off. Faith, seeing Willow's reaction, almost chuckles… until she sees Tara's expression. _She's NOT kidding! _ Faith thinks, backing off.

" If the two of you will stop acting like 6 year olds, we still have to consider Dawn. What're we going to tell her about Buffy?" Tara asks, looking at the other two 'adults' .

Faith, sipping her now lukewarm coffee, drops the bomb. "She already knows." The pixie in Faith can't resist chuckling at the expression on the other two women's faces.

"What? When?" Tara says, surprised

" How…?" Is all Willow can manage.

"Last night, after you two went to bed. Since I've been moved to the couch, we kinda ran into each other going for a snack" Faith says, enjoying this immensely. Her tone turns serious, " Did you really believe she would sleep through all of that going on last night? She knew about Buffy, and we talked about it". Faith sips her coffee.

"Really?" Tara asks," How did she take it?"

"She's ok with it. Very mature about it" Faith says, unable to resist the dig.

" What did you say?" Willow asks, suspicious." What did you tell her?"

"Why don't you ask me?" Dawn says brightly, coming down the stairs. All three women turn to her.

"Hi, Dawnie" Tara smiles.

"Hey, Dawnie" Willow says, also smiling

"Hiya, Dawn" Faith says, grinning into her cup.

"Morning, Faith" She walks to Faith and gives her a hug. Willow shoots Faith daggers from her eyes. She walks to Tara, " Hi, Tara!" She hugs her too. Willow looks glum, thinking she's going to be left out of the hugs. Dawn smiles, and walks over to Willow, hugging her and kissing her forehead. " G'morning, Willow" She says, standing next to her. Willow brightens up immediately.

" I heard you all last night. If you really want to hide stuff from me, you better take the arguments somewhere else" She grins at them, and watches as three 'adult' women blush pink. " Buffy's back, she doesn't remember any of us, and everybody is all so pissy at each other! That about covers it?" She surveys the group, so enjoying the temporary moral superiority she's feeling. " Faith said something went wrong with the spell" Willow shoots another set of daggers at Faith, as Dawn continues, " But she said that I shouldn't blame you, Willow, cuz you meant well. You wanted to make things right, and it was a mistake, and we should forgive you". Willow almost chokes, and looks at Faith, surprised. Tara is surprised too…maybe a little pleased. Faith is surprised, cause that isn't exactly what she said… but she decides not to dispute it… not now, anyway. " Any questions?" Dawn asks. No one says anything

Faith, however, is suspicious. Something's up…Dawn is just TOO chipper and bright this morning. Her nose itches, cause she knows that until she finds out exactly WHAT Dawn is up to, it's going to bug her.

Willow is confused. Faith defended her? No way! But she can't help feeling some doubts about what she's done…which she quickly squelches… _I did the right thing, I know I did. They just don't see it yet._

Tara is relieved. Dawn is taking it so well._ Better than two others I can name_. She was so afraid Dawn was going to have a major freak-out. But she seems to accept it. She sighs happily. At least ONE member of this household is sort of mature.

"So, what're we gonna do about Buffy?" Dawn asks, breaking the silence. She looks around the group.

"I'm working on it , Dawnie. I'm trying to see if I can find a memory restoration spell…" Willow answers, but is interrupted by Faith.

" No more magic, _Will-Oh_" Faith says, adamantly. Her face sets. Willow looks at her. flustered.

" You don't know _everything, _Faith" Willow says, her face also setting.

" Maybe, Willow, we should try without magic first?" Tara says diplomatically, going to Willow.

Willow looks at Tara, and then at Dawn, who for the first time looks upset. She caves, for now.

" Ok… maybe we'll try it _Faith's _way first" She concedes, not so gracefully." But that still leaves the question, what to do about Buffy."

" It's a tasty problem, I'll admit" Faith says, shrugging.

" Not too tasty, I hope. Gee, you guys aren't cannibals, are you? I just wanted to get some breakfast… not _be_ breakfast" Buffy's voice floats into the kitchen. The group, surprised, turns and sees Buffy standing at the doorway, looking unsure of herself.

"BUFFY! " Dawn cries, running and nearly knocking over Buffy in an enthusiastic hug. Buffy, startled, throws her arms in the air…then slowly wraps them around Dawn.

"Uhhh… Hi… you're…ummm….Dawn, right?" Buffy says, struggling for the name. " My sister?"

" You remember me?" Dawn says, pleased.

"Uhhh… Tara…I think…Tara?" Buffy asks. Tara nods. Buffy continues, " Tara kinda pointed you out to me last night. Sorry" She says, sounding genuinely sorry.

" Oh" Dawn says, a little disappointed. "Well, you'll remember me soon, I know it " She adds, trying to keep positive.

Tara and Willow join Dawn by Buffy, giving her a group hug. Which she seems to enjoy at first. Faith, a strange expression on her face, hangs back.

"Uh…guys… this is nice…but…can't breathe…" Buffy says, gasping. Everyone laughs a little, and backs off. Buffy looks at the three of them, and smiles. She notices Faith hanging back, and calls out. "Hey, aren't you glad to see me?" She asks, her brow furrowed.

Faith puts on a smile. " Of course. Good morning, Buffy" She says… but still stays back.

"Gee, I guess Buffy…she… er… I… must be popular?" Buffy asks, confused. A little more by Faith's less than enthusiastic greeting. She senses something's wrong.

" Don't get a swelled head about it, Buffy" Dawn interjects. " It's just we're happy to see you, and you're not freaking out".

Buffy looks at Dawn with a half-smirk, half grin. " You really ARE my sister, aren't you?"

" You're smarter sister" Dawn says, grinning back. Buffy rolls her eyes.

"So…ummm…what's for breakfast?" Buffy asks. She looks a little guilty, " I can have breakfast, right?" She's still really unsure about what's the what here.

" Of course" Tara says, taking Buffy's hand. " I'll make some eggs". She leads Buffy into the kitchen. Dawn and Willow follow.

" Umm… I got some stuff I gotta do outside, ok?" Faith says, her voice sounding a little funny, " I'll see you guys later" Without any ceremony, she walks out the back door.

"Did I do something wrong?" Buffy says, bewildered and apologetic. She looks at the others.

"No, of course not, Buffy" Willow says, reassuring her.

" No…you didn't , Buffy" Tara agrees.

"Buffy?" Dawn adds, "Ummm… she loved…loves you very much. It's kinda hard for her, all of this. I guess she's still getting used to it…so, try to be patient with her, ok?"

" Oh, god… I'm sorry" Buffy says, looking upset. " I'm really sorry!"

" No…no…Buffy" Dawn says, quietly, " It's not your fault." Seeing Willow, she adds, " Not anyone's fault. Just… I don't know… try to understand, if you can. I'll go talk to her." Dawn finishes, turning towards the door. She feels a restraining hand on her arm.

" No… Dawn?" Buffy says, quietly, " I think… I think I should talk to her…" She trails off

Before Dawn can argue, Buffy is out the door.

* * *

Buffy finds Faith by the garage.

She's squatting down on the grass, picking at it. Buffy can't help but feel a twinge of remorse. _ She looks so lost and sad._ Buffy stands quietly watching her for a few minutes, reflecting.

_ I wish I could remember her. I looked at all the pictures in our room. God, we seemed so happy! She's gotta be special…she's still grieving over me, and I'm alive. At least, if I'm really the woman she loves. I just don't know. But I know something's there… cause I can feel it. I feel.. a special…something for her. Did the first time I saw her in the graveyard. Oh, that's so romantic! " How'd you meet?" " In the graveyard" . Can you say wiggins?. She treated me so… like I was precious. Look at her. She's miserable. This is gotta suck for her. Why do I want to make it better for her? Dawn can't have been lying. There musta been something really special between us. I just can't remember it!!! Dammit, I hate this to death!!_

Buffy, not wanting to startle Faith, clears her throat. Faith looks up, and is on her feet in a flash, pasting on a smile. _God, I wish she wouldn't try so hard._

" Hey" Buffy says, trying to scope out Faith. " You ok?"

" Hey" Faith replies, " Yeah. I'm great. Just got done what I needed to do".

" Ok, " Buffy says, letting her slide on the lie," So, aren't you coming back inside?".

" No… I …Umm… figure I'll get something on the way to work" Faith says, " kinda late as is".

"Oh… going to work" Buffy says, feeling… disappointed?… she continues, " So…where do you work?"

" Lots of places… though right now, at the school site. Where they're building the high school. I work in construction" Faith says, trying to be casual about all this…and feeling so uncasual.

" Construction? Really?" Buffy says, " You must be strong!"

" Yeah, I guess. Never thought about it" Faith says, adding, " You're pretty strong, too".

Buffy laughs. " C'mon, me? I'm just a girl!"

" Uh-huh" Faith says, " Boy, have you got a lot to learn". Faith looks around, and grabs her hammer lying on the sidewalk. Without warning, she throws it at Buffy. " Here, catch"

Buffy yelps, but instinctively catches it. She looks angrily at Faith. " You coulda killed me with that!". Faith just grins.

" Trust me, no way that woulda hit you!" Faith says.

Buffy stares at the hammer in her hand. She didn't even think about catching it…she just did.

" Wow" She says softly.

" Yeah, wow" Faith says, her voice getting that strange register in it again. " Look, can you toss that back? I gotta go".

Buffy tosses it, and is amazed how easily she does it. Without even looking, Faith catches it, and Buffy is even more amazed.

"Seeya later, B" Faith says, walking towards the garage.

_Oh no you don't! You don't get away THAT easily!_

" You really loved her…me… didn't you?" Buffy calls out. Faith freezes. She doesn't turn, but her shoulders slump…and her fists clench.

"Yeah? So? That's …past" Faith says, starting to move away.

" That's it? You don't love …me… anymore?" Buffy asks.

Faith whirls around. " What do you want from me?" She asks, her voice hurting, " Why are you doing this?"

" I want to know who I am… and who better to teach me that than you?" Buffy says, equally hurting. " but you seem like you're just giving up on me already!" She turns and starts walking quickly back to the house.

" B… B! Buffy! Wait… Buffy, wait!" Faith runs after her, catching her before she reaches the house. She sees tears in Buffy's eyes, and her heart melts. " I'm… I'm sorry" Faith says" I… it just…I can't… When you came down this morning…what you said…the way you said it… it was so much like you… the old you. I… I couldn't deal. I … I know you can't feel the way you did for me once. I know that. But I can't help how I feel for you. It's.. not right…cuz…I don't want to make it harder for you… and you might find you love someone else. I don't want to make it hard for you. Don't you see? I… don't want to hurt you… never, ever. But… sometimes it hurts being close to you…this is too much…sorry… sorry…god, I'm so sorry!" Faith tries not to cry, but the tears start dropping down her cheeks.

Buffy reaches up, and gently brushes away some tears. She looks at her fingertips in wonder. She has a strange, but soft expression on her face.

" All I'm asking, Faith" Buffy says, softly, " is don't give up so quickly. I don't know what … or how… I'll feel about you yet. But… whatever we had musta been special. I get that. So, for whatever we had, please, don't give up on me yet!" She looks at Faith, who's looking back at her. She leans in, and kisses her softly on the cheek. She turns on her heel, and runs into the house, leaving Faith to stand in the garden.

Touching her cheek where Buffy kissed her.

* * *

To be continued.


	8. Chapter 8

**Timeless Faith**

By Norwalker

Part 8 of ?

Rating : R for language, sexual situations and violence.

Category: Romance/Angst/Drama

Disclaimer: Most, if not all of the characters depicted here are the property of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, Inc. and Fox. This is a work of fiction; any similarities to anyone living or dead are purely coincidental.

Summary: Third in a series of stories started with " Summer of faith" and continued in "Seasons of faith". In the last book, Buffy died fighting Glorificus, the Hell goddess. This book picks up where that book ended. How does Faith deal with the loss of Buffy? How does life change for the scoobies? Buffy will be with them always, but is there more to it than just memories? Stay tuned.

Spoilers: Possible season 6 and season 7 spoilers. Hope you've watched them by now.

Timeline: Season 6, maybe season 7 and beyond( don't know yet).

WARNING: **_There is always the possibility of major character death_**. Romance between members of the same gender(duh). Sexual situations between members of the same gender. This is an _Alternate Universe_ (AU) story. The real(by the series 'coda' ) relationship between Buffy and Faith never happened here. So if you're looking for the dark, knife wielding, don't give a crap about nothing but me Faith, She's not here.(ok, bit of an exaggeration, as we all know by now that Faith redeemed herself, but the "dark, evil" Faith never got a chance to live here). Violence happens. Adult themes( someday, I plan on being one, too). Sexual situations. All the usual stuff.

* * *

_Bloody Hell_, he swears to himself as he hangs up the phone.

Rupert Giles is not one to lose his temper. He's worked hard since his ' Ripper' days to be in control. All the time. But this… is intolerable. And wonderful… and puzzling.

He can't believe what he's just heard. That Buffy is alive. That's not possible. He saw her die. But it seems Willow was not ready to accept the judgment of destiny. She, along with help from Tara, Xander and Anya, brought Buffy back from the dead. Just hearing that gave him a queasy feeling. Resurrection spells are nothing to play with… as a matter of fact, they are nothing to use, period. They rely on magic that is… based in the darker regions of power. Invoking a God of death to restore someone is risky at best, disastrous most of the times. Even with a mystical death like Buffy's, the consequences can be enormous. Even with practitioners who've been studying magic for decades. So many things can go wrong. Evidently, something major went wrong.

Buffy can't remember who she is, or who the people she loves are. At least, that's what Dawn told him. She overheard the arguing going on between Faith and Willow… and then Faith explained it all to her. She seems to be her basic self, that is her personality seems intact. As much as it can be without her knowing who she is. It's all very unclear yet, it just happened. Only time would tell if the 'real' Buffy emerges… or someone different. That's the frightening part. How different would she be? There's no way of telling.

He feels bad for all of them. It must be devastating to have someone returned to you, only to find they no longer knew you. He felt particularly bad for Dawn and Faith. Though Dawn seemed to be taking it equitably, at least she sounded that way over the phone, it still must be unsettling for her to have her sister, he only 'real' family, not recognize her. Though, from what she said on the phone, she hadn't 'seen' Buffy yet…except asleep. No telling how she'll react once Buffy is awake. It wasn't going to easy for her to adjust._ She's a brave girl, and will probably try to appear to be handling it well, but inside… it might really tear her up._

_Then there's Faith. According to Dawn, she found Buffy after the spell had been cast. After everybody had left, thinking the spell had failed. The shock of seeing her must've been bad enough; to then find out that Buffy no longer knew who she was, that must've been heartbreaking_. Giles is well aware of how much Faith loved her sister slayer. At first he'd been a little … distant from her, not understanding her motives and methods. But slowly, as he learned the full story behind their relationship, what she'd done to bring Buffy home, and how she stuck by her, when others would've run, he… found himself becoming quite fond of her. He, of course, was quite fond of Buffy… he'd lost his position as her 'official' watcher over it. They thought he'd lost his objectivity where she was concerned; he was too much like a father to her. Frankly, he wouldn't have it any other way. In more ways than one she'd been like a daughter to him. When Angel had lost his soul, and she eventually had to kill him, he knew how much it hurt her. But she'd run away before he could do anything to help her. He'd worried, like any father would. Went searching for her on any lead, no matter how ridiculous. It wasn't until Faith had brought her back that they'd been reunited, so to speak. He'd been very upset with her, and very angry, running away instead of coming to those who loved her and wanted to help her.

But he realized now maybe running away, to L.A. , and meeting Faith had been the best thing she could do. She'd changed when she came back. She was more self reliant. More mature. And though not right away, she seemed to envision a life without Angel in it. Which was best, because there could be no 'life' with Angel. It was doomed almost from the start, and after learning about the curse… there was no hope. She'd grown up a lot over that summer, and Giles realizes now, that was due to Faith.

He doesn't understand their relationship. Or, that is, what their relationship had been. Unless you are a slayer, there are things that you just can't get. They had a special bond because they put their lives on the line every day. Even beyond that they seemed to 'sense' each other in uncommon ways. No, it was not 'perfect'. They've had lots of problems. But they somehow stuck it out together. They probably thought they would always be together.

_Which must make what has happened now so much more difficult and painful for Faith,_ Giles ponders, _it must feel like someone has taken shears and cut out a the last 3 years of her life… the most important part of her life. How's she going to cope with Buffy not knowing her? How is she going to handle loving someone who may never love her back the same way again? It must be like losing half you're soul._ Giles knew what it was like to lose someone you loved; Jenny Calendar had been special, very special to him. When she died, he felt a part of himself had died. He quite understood how badly Faith had felt when Buffy died. But this must be worse. She's alive now, but for what they'd had, she might well be dead. _ Poor, poor girl!_

_Oh, god, and Buffy! She must be scared half to death. Being surrounded by strangers who claim to be your friends and family? Not knowing how to act towards them… not knowing who you are! She must feel like a piece of paper caught in a stream… floating into the unknown, nothing in control, and nothing you can do to stop it! She's going to need patience, and all the help and support she can get._

He knew what he had to do. He had to go back to Sunnydale. To help in any way he could. But first, he had to consult with a local coven… the one in Devonshire. He knew the leader, and maybe she could help him find someway to augment Willow's spell… restore Buffy's memories to her.

Willow… there was another problem. Why had she done this? He was sure she had some good reason for invoking such terrible powers. He hoped so. When, years ago, he'd found out she was dabbling in magic, he'd been uneasy. As time went on, and she became better at it, he still felt some qualms. But she seemed to keep it in control… until last year, when they faced Glory. She'd researched some spells…which gave him major frights. Fortunately, she hadn't used them. But … that seems to have changed. She's started down a dangerous path. He wondered if he could divert her?

He hoped so, for all their sakes.

* * *

Life at 1630 Revello Drive wasn't getting much easier.

After the night of the blow-up, Faith and Willow, through silent mutual consent try to get along. But there's still a tension between them, a strain that's noticeable to all. They're polite to each other, sometimes a bit too polite. Refrigerators have more warmth that is between them. This of course, puts more strain on Tara, who is normally a placid, peaceful and somewhat shy person. But the strain of having to be peacekeeper has started to fray her nerves, and she's known to snap at Willow or Faith when they get a bit too 'icy'. She immediately feels bad, because it's not her nature to get waspish. But she can't help it; the two of them , being so obstinate, is making her a little crazy.

Dawn is getting a bit sullen too. She's been trying hard to put a cheerful face on everything, trying to keep peace in her family. But she's dealing with her own issues. Her sister is back, and acting distant and weird. Faith, who she has a mega crush on, is like all out of it because of Buffy(Like, that's news) and of course doesn't feel about Dawn the way Dawn feels about her._ That totally sucks_ she thinks to herself. _And Will and Faith fighting certainly isn't helping anything. Poor Tara, she's having to try to keep things calm. Buffy's no help; she can't really understand what the what is around here. I used to be so pissed when Buffy wouldn't stop and talk to me; now that's all she wants to do. I finally get what it's like to have a little sister… cause Buffy's like that. Always asking me questions. Sometimes it's just too much, and I snap at her. Then she gets this hurt look, and apologizes, and of course I feel like crap. But it's just so annoying sometimes, you know?_ She wonders if Faith and Willow are ever going to make it up. _ There so edgy around each other, it's hard to be in the same room with them when they're together. And both have 'sides'… and they both want me on their side. Sigh. This sucks so bad._ She knows that something's going to have to give, or there's going to be major warfare breaking out here soon. She only hope Giles comes soon. He can fix this, she knows. She hopes, anyway.

Perhaps the person taking it hardest is Buffy. She looks around at the faces surrounding her, seeing the smiles(when she's there and they know it) and the frowns, and sullen looks( when they don't know it, or think she doesn't see it). She feels a lot like Alice in Wonderland ; Everything's backwards, and she can't make out what the heck is going on. Her 'friends', that would be Faith and Willow, seem to like her well enough, but they so can't stand each other( _how did that happen?) _. Even though she's not sure, she feels somehow it's her fault. Like she's doing something wrong. But no one'll tell her what she's doing wrong. Willow is cheerful and upbeat around her; she keeps declaring she'll find a 'fix' to Buffy's memory problems. Good on that, but why does it give her the wiggins ? She'll spend hours with Buffy going over old pictures and things, trying to jog her memory, or at least fill it in. That's nice, but she senses Tara's a little not liking it. And Buffy doesn't want to upset Tara… so far she's the one that's made Buffy feel the most comfortable and 'normal', even in the current state she's in. She really likes Tara.

Her sister… that's a tough one to figure out. She runs hot and cold concerning Buffy. Sometimes she spends a lot of time trying to help Buffy remember their past together. Dawn's shown her pictures of their mom and dad. They look like nice enough people, but they're total strangers. According to Dawn, their mom died last year. Brain tumor. It was a bad time for all of them; evidently she was a great mom. God, she wishes she could remember her… or anyone for that matter. Their dad divorced their mom 6 years ago… and has been pretty absent from their lives since. She can tell that bugs Dawn; _should bug me too_, she thinks. But of course, it doesn't. Grrr. Strangely enough, it's the fact that it doesn't bug her that frustrates her.

It's Faith, though, that's the riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma. Buffy feels on a deep level that they shared something special. It bothers her to no end, because she feels it's something very important, something that if she could remember it, would trigger all the rest of her memories. It's frustrating, and exciting at the same time. She likes spending time with Faith, but it's also frustrating. Because of all the people here, Faith is the one person that won't go into their former relationship. _How am I supposed to get a clue to what we were together, if she won't at least give me a hint or 12? She seems to want to put our…well, whatever we had, in a box, and seal it tight. As if it had no relevance to what we are now. I thought we got that cleared up that morning in the backyard. I want to know what we had, I want to… it's important! But if I bring it up, she gets all antsy and suddenly remembers she has to do something, or take Dawn somewhere, or some such. She's friendly… no, it's more…she's affectionate towards me. I can see how she looks at me… God, how I want that to mean something, doesn't she get it? She'll talk about anything, except the "Big" thing. I see the sadness in her eyes. It's… it hurts to think that it hurts her so much. It hurts to think she can't trust me enough to be honest with me, how she feels, how she hurts. I want to… I want to help her… and help me? Yes, help me too. She won't do it though. She won't come clean about it. She kinda hinted on it that day in the backyard. She doesn't want to influence me… doesn't want me to feel 'obligated'. But, isn't love about knowing how the other person feels? Oh yeah, listen to me. Ms. brain trust here. Can't hardly remember my own name half the time. God, what a dorky name. Buffy? Who thought THAT one up? Oh yeah… I remember now… Dawn told me. Cousin Celia named me that as a kid… cause she couldn't quite say " Bethy" which everyone called me then. So she called me ' Buffy', and it stuck. Like glue, evidently. Didn't anyone ever think of like " Lizzie"? or Eliza? Or Beth? Or even Anne? Elizabeth Anne Summers, ok, that's a name. Buffy? That's a joke. But everyone knows my by Buffy, so I guess it's still sticking._

_Except with Faith… who calls me " B". Which I'm kinda getting to like. Which just adds more to the mystery that is Faith. _ Buffy sighs. That's what's so frustrating. She just can't get a handle on Faith. Sometimes she seems so strong and confident. Sometimes she gets nervy and irritable for no reason. Sometimes she looks like she wants to cry(_which pulls at my heartstrings and makes me want to cry, too)._ Buffy gets confused when she reaches out and casually touches Faith. She can see her tense up, and has to visibly force herself to relax… as if the touch hurt her(_ or, she doesn't know how to handle me touching her_). Sometimes when Faith looks at her, looking for the 'real' Buffy inside( _Ummm… real Buffy here, I think… but I don't know…god, I HATE this!_), Buffy just wants to pull her in her arms and hold her close(_still not getting that one!_). Sometimes she wants to melt into Faith's arms and be held. But how does she tell her that, without it getting all weird and Faith …_ok, gonna say it, without Faith running away from me again_? _Why won't she help me? Why won't she tell me? I can deal, Faith, IF YOU'LL ONLY TRUST ME!!!_

It's moments like this, or when everything is all tense, when Buffy fervently wishes that Willow hadn't brought her back. It's all too hard, too painful to deal. She can't remember squat, not without help. She feels like a stranger all the time. She longs for the peace of not being, the quiet nothingness of non-existence. She knows it would be easier for her. She suspects it would be easier for everyone. She knows being here is just making everything crazy for everyone. At these moments, with these thoughts, she wonders if she just shouldn't leave. Go somewhere, disappear.

Let them get on with their lives.

* * *

Faith sat in her basement 'apartment' and wondered how much lower her life could get.

She's moved down here, putting in a bed , a table and some necessities for living. All in all, the effect was extremely Spartan… reflecting how she felt inside. Empty, bare to the bone. Ugly, seedy and just a little barren. It reminds her so much of the hundreds of cheap motels she stayed in, she almost wants to puke with nostalgia.

A wave of restlessness came over her, and she couldn't sit still. She was up on her feet in a flash, and started pacing. It seems to her that in the space of a few days, she's moved from being part of the family to being on the outside… again! This is like prison, only worse because she's doing this voluntarily. _ Just how stupid do you get, girl? Everybody else is sharing the house, and you're down in this dank hole of a basement… cause this is the only place left(except the garage, which is not an option). It's like I did something bad… but what, I'd like to know? Tara and Willow got a room, Buffy's got a room, Dawn's got a room… and good ole Faith's got the basement. Somethin' aint right here. It's like I'm being punished for Buffy comin' back… like I'm doing wrong. After living here on and off for what? Nearly 3 years, kinda wondering how when things get a bit outta whack, I'm winding up in the pile of dog crap? _Faith stops, sees a box and kicks it in frustration. It goes skittering across the floor, finally overturning and spilling its contents. Sighing, she goes to pick up the mess. She finds it contains some of the 'stuff' she and Buffy collected when they were together in L.A. She squats down, looking at the various little items, each one having a memory attached to it. She smiles a sad little smile.

God, we were happy there. Weren't we? For awhile, anyway. Just her and me, two kids kinda lost, finding each other, clinging to each other trying to make the world work for us. Boy who woulda thought that 3 years plus later, we'd still be kinda together. Kinda together, how do you do that, anyway? Yeah, sure. I'm living in a basement, and she's living 2 floors above me in her room. We're strangers. Ok, I'm a stranger to her, she's not to me. Well… no, that's not right either, cause I don't know THIS Buffy, do I? Really? I mean, she's not the same girl, is she?

_I dunno. I mean, ok, she don't remember who she is, who any of us are… at least not anything but what we've told her. Still, some of the things she does, or says, almost spooks me it's so like 'B'. She moves the same, she talks… god, … she talks just like herself. Big change I notice? She's not trying to hide anything… cause she aint got nothin' to hide. That and she treats Dawnie more like a grown-up… kinda not comin' down on her so much… or at all. So far, all to the positive. I even catch her once in awhile giving me the look… like she's trying to scope me out, figure out exactly who I am, like it's important to her. So, the question is, Faith, if she's like B, and she looks like B, and she acts like B… what's the deal? Why're you trying to hide so much from her?_

_We don't know each other. Not anymore. But hey. Remember, before that summer in L.A., you didn't know her either. Did that stop you then? Or did you hang in there, figuring something's there that's worth stickin' around for. So, girly…what's changed? Don't ya love her anymore? Oh, yeah, and the sun's stopped risin' in the east, too huh? Ok, she doesn't love me. Well, boo hoo, Faith. She didn't love you at first in L.A. either. Look how that turned out? Not so liking the ending… but before that? Kinda ok, don't ya think? Shit, girlfriend, even with the fights and tears and crap, it's been the best 3 ½ years of your life. I wouldn't trade one bitty bit of it for nothin'. Even the worst, when I thought it all was over, dammit, was better than anything before it._

_So why am I lettin' it slip from me now? Why'm I all wimpy around her, avoiding any kinda closeness? Cause I want to do the right thing? SHIT!!! That's so bogus. You're scared, Faith. Admit it, you're scared shitless. You're afraid she's gonna reject you, throw you on the heap of forgotten yesterdays. But guess what? You're gonna wind up there anyway if ya keep this up. When ya first got together, it was hopeless. That's what you thought. Maybe it's hopeless now, too. But dammit, I don't care. I don't care if I only wind up a 'friend'. Cuz, no pain, no gain, Faith. Ya gotta take your lumps, if ya want her. Really, truly want her. So, that's the deal. Do you really want her? Or are you too chicken?_

Faith starts putting the stuff back in the box, still wondering if there was a future for Buffy and herself. She's just about finished when she comes across a strip of pictures. Those kind you get at the cheap photo booths. They're of Buffy and her, back when they were in L.A. together. She stares at them. _God, we're so young. _ She smiles, cause they were goofing totally, they mostly were of silly expressions, lots of tongues stuck out at the camera. But a couple of them, the last few, are less goofy. They're smiling, heads together, just seeming to love being together… the next one, they're kissing. _Look at us. We were young and stupid, didn't have shit in the way of money, lived in a crappy little studio apartment, playing house, and god, we were so fucking happy! How come? Cuz, we were together. At that moment, nothing else in the world mattered. The whole fucking world hadn't dropped on us yet, crushing us to bits. We just knew that we'd be together forever._

Faith stands up, clutching the pictures, and takes them over to the little table by her bed. She opens the drawer, and puts them inside. Something has changed in her face. Her expression has a new sense of purpose to it. She finishes cleaning up the mess she made, and then walks back over to her bed, sitting down. A smile, a real smile, creeps slowly across her face.

_ I sure was gutsier when I was 16, _Faith thinks to herself, _I knew what I wanted, and went after it, and damn the torpedoes. Well… time to be 16 again, Faith. She doesn't know you, just like then. But you know what you want, just like then. Screw this 'fairness' crap. She and me? We're meant to be together. She didn't know it then, either. Just gotta educate her. School's in session, Professor Faith is teachin, and one Ms. Buffy Summers gonna learn exactly what's good for her. Me!_

Faith, with a little knowing half smirk, and a new gleam in her eye, walks over to her clothing rack. She picks out the tight leather pants that fit just so across her cute ass, and … on a whim, a bustier she hasn't worn in years. She puts it up to her body, and smiles, knowing it'll still fit, and still show off all the 'goodies' underneath. _Can't activate her sweet tooth if I don't give her a lil taste of the candy. _ Grabbing her clothes, she heads upstairs to take a shower. That little confident swagger's back in her walk. Faith's got business to take care of. Buffy business.

She plans on taking no prisoners.

* * *

Dawn is lying on her bed, book open, at least pretending to study.

But her mind is elsewhere. She's bored, and wishes she could've gone out with the others. Willow had the bright idea that Buffy should be 'taken' out, get a feel for the town again. _Probably wind up at the Bronze,_ she thinks to herself._ Not much else to do in Sunnydale at night. Or anytime, really._ Dawn had been excited about the idea at first. Get out of the house, have some fun, the whole bunch of them. But Willow nixed that idea.

" School night, Dawnie. And you've got homework." She said, to Dawn's deflating hopes.

" Please… please … PLEASE!!!" Dawn begged. She so didn't want to be stuck home… not when there was fun to be had.

" W-we'll do it another night, Dawn. All of us together" Tara said, looking at Willow. Who didn't look all that pleased because 'all of us' included Faith.

"Another night, Dawn. Weekend night" Willow said, smiling, " You can go along then, ok?"

" I guess" Dawn said, pouting, " I mean, do I really get a choice?". She looks at the group, and the expressions. " Didn't think so" she said, unhappily.

" Should she be left alone?" Buffy asked, " I mean, with what you've told me, lots of things running around out there. Shouldn't someone stay with her?". Buffy's still rather uncertain about this 'expedition' . She's still trying to get used to the idea of being a sister, and friend, and slayer(?). Not nearly as excited as Tara and Willow are about this little tour. _ Maybe they know best. Probably be good to get out. But… isn't faith coming?_

" Don't worry, Buffy. Pretty sure Dawn'll be ok here alone. She's 15, right? And anyway, Faith is still here, I think. Somewhere. In case anything comes up", Willow assures her.

"Oh," Buffy says, sounding a little disappointed, " Isn't Faith coming, too?".

"No. She kinda disappeared downstairs after dinner. Figured she has stuff to do. Or maybe just not feeling well," Willow replied.

"Did you ask her?" Tara asked Willow.

"Didn't want to disturb her" Willow said.

Tara gives Willow a look, but keeps her silence. Dawn makes one last desperate bid to come along.

" Hey, I'm almost done here. I promise I'll finish soon as we get home. Please let me come?" Dawn pulls out all the stops, wanting to be included.

"Dawnie, I promise. This weekend, we'll all go out and have some fun. Tonight is just to get Buffy reoriented, sorta" Willow said. " We'll see you when we get back, ok?"

"Ok" Dawn muttered, with whom it's definitely NOT ok.

Willow moved to give Dawn a reassuring pat, but Dawn kind of shrugs it off. For a brief second, Willow looks hurt, then sighs. She turns, and leading the others out. A moment passes, then Buffy looks back in.

" You gonna be ok, Dawn?" Buffy asked.

" Yeah, I'll be peachy" Dawn says, but tries to smile anyway. Buffy nods, then leaves.

So Dawn lies here, staring at the history book opened in front of her, the words swimming over the page. She has re-read the same paragraph 5 times, and she doubts she'll get much beyond it tonight. She hoists herself off her bed with a huge sigh which reflects how much she's put upon, how frustrated she feels at being treated as a child, how utterly and completely unfair her life is., and walks over to her radio, turning it on, loud. _At least there's no one here to tell me to turn it down _ She thinks, as she saunters back over to her bed, and her history text. She plops down on her tummy, her feet in the air, facing away from the door. She makes an effort to read the text, but soon she's just listening to the music, her feet waving in a kind of rhythm to the music.

Her mind drifts off, and she imagines herself locked away in a tower by her evil sister and her friends, forced to work at some drudgery while she and her accomplices have a killer party downstairs, and she can barely make out the music as it wafts it's way up to her lonely, barren tower room. She is of course the beautiful and maligned younger sister, forced to drudge and slave for them, because they are totally jealous of her beauty, grace and wit. They know she would be the belle of the ball, all the handsome courtiers and princes swooning at her feet, if they dared allowed her at their parties. So, they keep her locked away, dressed in rags, let out only to clean up the mess after. She moves to the tower room window, looking out upon the starry night, searching for her handsome, valiant prince( or princess, whatever the case may be) to come rescue her. She will then be carried off to a fabulous Kingdom, and will be made princess. She will rule with her lover wisely, and be rewarded for her trials with fabulous jewels, and clothes, and all manner of wonderful things…

" Hey… P-nut… wake up, princess… earth to Dawn….hello? H-E-L-L-0!!!!!"

A familiar voice shatters her daydream, and Dawn is pulled swiftly back into her reality. She sighs, she was having such a great time in her kingdom.

" Yeah? What Faith?" Dawn replies, a little peevishly, not turning around.

" Hey, glad to have you back, kiddo… mind if I turn this down a little?" Faith walks over and turns down the volume on the radio, " Ok, that's better. So, what? Were you daydreaming?" Faith smiles.

" Nooo" Dawn says, still not turning around," I -- I was thinking".

" Oh? Ok, P-nut" Faith says, a knowing edge to her voice, " Hope he's a cutie".

" God!" Dawn blusters, an exasperated edge to her voice, " Not _EVERTHING_ is about boys! I was thinking… about my history assignment".

" Of course! Stupid me!" Faith says, still smiling to Dawn's back, " Sorry, P-nut. Ummm… where is everybody? Kinda like a tomb around here, it's so quiet," Faith makes a face, "except for your radio, that is" she chuckles.

" Dunno" Dawn answers, vaguely, " they went out…somewhere" She still is turned away from Faith. She's trying to ignore her. Kind of like a snowball ignoring a blast furnace, but right now, she wants to be alone, so she can brood over the general unfairness of life.

" Out? Where?" Faith asks, not able to hide all of her disappointment. _Figures. I finally get the idea to ask Buffy out, and what? Red manages to beat me to that, too!_

" I dunno. They said something about going downtown, kinda get Buffy reacquainted with things" Dawn says, her tone irritated. " Geeze, just said that. Didn't you hear me, Faith?"

"Yeah, I did" Faith says, taken a little aback, " Ummm… ok, P-nut, out with it. What's buggin' ya?"

" Nothing" Dawn replies, petulantly, " I just got homework to do, and I gotta get it done!"

" You sure?" Faith asks, concerned, " You know you can talk to me about anything, kiddo"

" Honest, Faith, " Dawn says, finally turning around, " There's nothing….." she trails off.

Dawn just stares, open mouthed. This is the first time she's ever seen Faith in full regalia. Faith is wearing, besides the aforementioned black leather pants and laced front Bustier, a black ribbon choker with a pearl, silver earrings, and her high heeled boots. Her hair is full and glossy and lustrous, and she's wearing the dark crimson lipstick she favored when she was younger, with matching nail polish. The effect is finished off with numerous silver rings on her fingers, including thumb rings. All in all, the effect is , as Willow has put it in the past, " Slut bomb". However, that's so not how Dawn is seeing her. The whole room seems to have gone into soft focus, except for Faith, who is sharp and clear. She seems to have a glow about her, almost ethereal. She looks like Xena, except 100 times sexier. Dawn feels her heart hammering in her chest. A flush is creeping up her neck. Her breathing is a bit … gaspy, and she is a little tingly. Her crush level just zoomed up.

Faith, seeing Dawn's reaction, doesn't get what's going on. She's afraid Dawn is having some kind of seizure, or is sick or something. She comes over to Dawn, and puts her hand on her face.

" Honey? Are you ok?" Faith asks, worriedly, " You seem a bit… dazed".

"Huh?" Dawn asks, as if waking from a dream. She quickly tries to regain her cool, "yeah… yeah, fine… just still kind of in study-zone mode. No big!" Except now that Faith is closer, Dawn can smell her perfume also, which is adding to her already out-of –whack hormones.

" You sure, P-nut? You're kinda flushed" Faith says, putting her hand on Dawn's forehead. " Hmmm… little warm. Maybe you should call it an early night."

" Faith , I—I'm fine, I'm not a child!" Dawn explodes, " You're not my mom, quit acting like it!"

Faith reels back from Dawn's outburst. She doesn't know what brought it on, but she knows it hurt. She can't believe it hurt as much as it did.

" I'm sorry, Dawn," Faith says, her voice expressing her hurt, " I don't know what I did, but I'm really sorry". She turns to go. She calls back over her shoulder, " I'll see you in the morning, ok?" She starts to leave, upset and confused.

"Faith…FAITH…wait…please" Dawn says, contrite, "I… I didn't mean to blow up at you….please!" She jumps off her bed and runs after Faith, catching her arm. Faith stops, and turns around. She's very upset. She got all dressed up for Buffy, to take her out, only to find out Willow beat her to the punch. Now, Dawn is angry with her, and she doesn't know why. She feels close to tears. She's screwing up everything, and she doesn't know how she's doing it.

"Dawnie, honey, what did I do?" Faith asks, really wanting to know, " I didn't… I really didn't mean to upset you!"

Dawn, seeing how upset Faith is, hugs her to reassure her. Forgetting herself for a moment, Dawn lays her head on Faith's shoulder.

Dawn sighs heavily, and almost whispers , " I just wish… " then trails off. Her face is sad, her voice full of longing. She pulls a little away from Faith

Faith looks at her, " What, Dawnie?" She asks, not understanding what Dawn is driving at. A look passes between them, and the neurons fire in Faith's brain, and the pathways connect. She finally gets it. " Oh," She says, quietly, almost speechless. Totally not prepared for this.

Dawn takes one look at Faith's face, and it's hammered home how hopeless it is . Just because in her head she already realized that, doesn't make it any easier for her. She breaks away, and turns from Faith.

" Never mind" She says, sullenly, trying to hide her hurt, doing a lousy job of it. " Just go, ok?" The hurt she feels, the rejection she saw in Faith's face, the… pity, is too much for her. She's feeling tears coming on, and she doesn't want Faith to see her cry.

" Dawnie…" Faith reaches out to the girl. She want nothing more than to comfort her, try to help her. She knows all too well what Dawn is feeling.

Dawn, sensing rather than seeing Faith, bats her hand away, " No!" She cries, turning around. Her face is red and scrunched up, " You're so damned blind! All you can see is Buffy, Buffy, Buffy. Doesn't matter she's not who she was, never will be again! Doesn't matter that she'll probably never love you like before!" Dawn lashes out, hoping to hurt Faith like she's hurting, " You never see me as anything but a kid. But I'm not a kid anymore Faith, I've grown. I feel love, and I feel hurt, and I feel all this stuff, and you don't even notice me. Not one bit. I'm nothing to you, Faith, nothing but Buffy's kid sister, a brat you have to put up with! Don't you think I know that? It's always Buffy, it's all about Buffy. You and Willow are pathetic! Do you hear me? PATHETIC. The both of you. Willow has Tara, who loves her more than anything in this world, and she still is nosing around Buffy… cuz she can't see what she's got. She's gonna lose Tara, how long is Tara going to put up with this?"

" But you? You're even worse. You've been moping and crying and drinking… yeah, I know about the drinking, you think I'm stupid, too?" Dawn challenges. She goes on when Faith doesn't say anything, " All the time I see you, I just want to hold you, make it better. But you only see a kid. A nobody, a nothing. Someone you promised to look out for. But you don't look too hard, do you Faith? DO YOU?" Again she challenges Faith, and again Faith is silent." No, you just see what you want to see. A kid. Newsflash, Faith. **_I'M NOT A KID ANYMORE!!! _**I'm a woman. I'm young, I know. But not any younger than when you became a slayer! Not that much younger than when you and Buffy fell in love. But no, you just see a child, someone to take care of… not someone who could take care of you back. I was patient, I would wait. Til it wasn't weird for you anymore. Cuz what I feel is real, it's so not weird for me!!!" She's pacing back and forth, everything rising up to the surface, fueling her fury.

" Then Willow brings Buffy back. But not the real Buffy. a damaged Buffy… she doesn't remember herself, or any of us. She's just the shell of my sister," Dawn spits out, " But everybody's fawning over her. Even me, cuz I love my sister and want her back, too. But meantime, you and Will are acting like jealous rivals, at each other every chance you get. Willow barely conceals how she wants Buffy to be her girlfriend, and can you imagine how that makes Tara feel? If I were Tara I'd kick her butt for treating me like that. But she doesn't because she loves Willow. And Tara isn't a butt-kicker. But she will leave Willow, bank on it. She won't take much more of this, and I don't blame her one little bit". She stops her pacing, facing Faith. The look in her eye is so angry, so threatening even Faith takes a step back.

Dawn unleashes on Faith, both barrels, " You're the worst! You get back your precious Buffy, then retreat. God, I can't figure you at all. You love her so much, but you let Willow walk all over you when it comes to Buffy. You act like you got no rights with Buffy, that you're a nothing. You act like a beaten puppy, coming back for more abuse, hoping against hope this time your mistress will give you a pat instead of a kick. And the worst? You make me feel like that, cause I keep coming back hoping this time you'll notice ME instead of Buffy. See that I'm nuts about you. But you don't. You can't. You got Buffy on the brain, and there's no cure for that I guess. I'm like nothing to you, and it hurts, " Dawn starts to cry." Damn you, why don't you see me? You come here, dressed like that, hoping Buffy will notice you" Dawn gestures at Faith, in her outfit, " And _I'm_ blown away. God you look like a goddess, and yet… shit" She breaks off, the hurt too much. She stands and cries. Her hurt and anger compete for control, anger finally winning, " You make me feel like that puppy. I hate this . I hate feeling this way, knowing there's no hope, not a chance you could EVER feel the same! Why do you want to hurt me? Why?" She stops, waiting for an answer that's not coming, " Damn you, Faith. I hate you! I HATE YOU! I hate you for making me feel this way. Hopeless, unloved, and dirty. Yeah, dirty. Cuz it's like because I feel the way I do I'm trying to steal you from Buffy. That's so not it. I can't help what I feel. But you don't have to make me feel this way. You don't have to be here. Get out. " She rushes at Faith in a fury, shoving at her, hitting on her, "Get OUT. LEAVE ME ALONE AND GET OUT OF HERE. GET OUT!" She screams, shoving Faith back to the door.

Faith, beyond shock, doesn't resist. She's in the hallway, and the door slams in her face. She stands there, staring at the door. Her mind is reeling in shock. She tries to recover, and knocks softly on the door.

"Dawn… please, let me in. Please, we gotta talk" Faith calls through the door.

"NO. GO AWAY. I HATE YOU!" Dawn screams through the door. She lowers her voice" You want Buffy? Fine. Take her. She's brain damaged, but who cares. You don't. Take her. I wish you'd take her and go. All of you. This is my house too. I want you gone. LEAVE. Get out. ALL OF YOU. I HATE YOU ALL. GET OUT – GET OUT- GET OUT!!!!!!!"

Faith hears her crying through the door, followed by the sound of things smashing. She starts to knock on the door again, but Dawn interrupts her, almost like she knows she's still there.

"LEAVE. GET OUT" Dawn screams. " I HATE YOU. I WISH YOU WERE DEAD. GET OUT!!!"

Faith stands frozen at the door for a few more moments, every nerve in her body going crazy. Finally, she turns away, slumped and defeated. She walks downstairs…

To her hole.

* * *

Tara wonders why she even came along.

For all she's contributed to this little 'outing', she might as well have stayed home. She could've read or something. Certainly, it would've been better than being the 'third wheel' on this get acquainted 'tour'.

_I thought it was a good idea at the time _ Tara thought as yet again Willow was pointing out some 'landmark'

"Over there is the Magic Box" Willow says, brightly, " that's where Tara and I get our magic stuff for spells."

" Right. Magic Box. Magic supplies. Makes sense, " Buffy nodded, looking a little bewildered. " So you guys are really into this ooglie-booglie stuff, huh?"

Of course, I thought Faith would be coming along. Kinda couple-y. Even bring along Dawnie… she could've used a night out. We all could've. But Faith disappeared downstairs after dinner…then Willow took charge… again!

"Oh yeah, Tara and I are really witches… aren't we, honey?" Willow says, looking around for Tara. Not spotting her, she calls out, " Tara? Where are you, sweetie?".

Tara, who's idly looking into a window while thinking, looks up and hurries to catch up.

" Sorry, just doing some window shopping" Tara smiles. _Wonder if she bought that?_

" Well, baby, don't go wandering off. Missed you!" Willow says, sweetly, leaning in and kissing Tara." You know I'd be lost without you, Tara". She puts a arm around Tara as they continue walking.

_Ok, maybe I was just being jealous. I know she _loves_ me. _Tara slips her arm around Willow's waist, and squeezes her a little. Willow turns and smiles. _ I've got to get this jealousy over Buffy under control. She's just trying to be a good friend… isn't she? Of course she is._

" I was just telling Buffy that the Magic Box is where we get our magic supplies." Willow says, including Tara in the conversation.

" So, ummm… since you guys are witches," Buffy says, " maybe you could find some spell to make me remember things again?"

" W-Well, Buffy" Tara says, a little nervous, " memory spells… to restore memory? Not too much about them. We're trying… but so far, nothing really".

" Oh" Buffy says, sounding disappointed. She goes quiet.

" Don't you worry, Buff" Willow says, shooting Tara a look, " We'll find it. We'll have you A-Ok in no time!"

" R-Right, that's right, Buffy" Tara agrees.

_It's that kinda thing. Giving me a look when I've got to say something unpleasant. _Tara thinks, _Willow wants everything to be perfect. She doesn't want to own up to problems… or mistakes. She still isn't admitting a mistake in the Restoration spell. She blames Xander, or Anya, or me… even Faith sometimes, though she didn't have anything to do with it._

" D-Did you tell her how Mr. Giles owned the shop?" Tara asks Willow.

" That's right. Giles bought the shop oh… what? A year ago?" Willow checks with Tara for confirmation, which Tara gives, "Guess he got tired of his 'retirement' as your Watcher. He bought it when the former owner, Mr. Bogarty, was killed".

" Killed?" Buffy says, nervously. Not exactly the things she likes to hear about.

" Yes, a gang of vampires robbed the place, and killed him" Willow says, " They were led by Harmony."

" Harmony? They were singing vampires?" Buffy looks puzzled. Anymore, nothing would surprise her.

"No, silly. Harmony. We went to school with her. Sorta snobby… one of the Cordettes… Cordelia's group?" Willow smiles.

" Oh… we went to school with a vampire?" Buffy says. Ok, now that surprises her. " Aren't they kinda… burny under the sun?"

" No… no… she wasn't a vampire then. After… on Graduation Day", Willow says. She sees Buffy's puzzled expression, and says, " I see we've got a lot to cover!".

" Well, you know me" Buffy says, trying to make light of it, " Swiss-cheese brain. Full of holes".

" No, no, Buffy" Willow says, trying to reassure her, mistaking the comment, "We'll get there, promise".

" Yeah… ok, " Buffy says, a bit on the ironic side, " So… who was Giles again? A watcher? " Buffy looks puzzled. " Does that mean I needed watching… or was he a perv?"

Willow and Tara laugh nervously.

" No, Buffy" Willow says, " Giles was your Watcher… from the council. He trained you to be a slayer."

" Trained?" Again, Buffy is confused. " I thought I was born to be the slayer…what was that hokey stuff you told me? "You're the chosen one. The one girl in all the world with the power to fight the forces of Darkness" Hold up. Chosen one? Ummm… isn't Faith a slayer too? Wouldn't that make Chosen Two? Ok, I'm confused, again!" Buffy says.

"Whoa, girl" Willow says, " Giles trains you to be a better slayer. You're born with the potential to be a slayer, but until you're called, you're just normal girl. Now, about Faith…and two slayers? That's a long, complicated story."

" Buffy was killed for a few minutes while fighting the Master. Kendra was called. Kendra died fighting Drusilla. Faith was called…" Tara says, quietly.

" Or, maybe not" Willow adds, a little consternated.

"Whoa… hold up. I died before… I mean before just recently?" Buffy is getting more lost by the minute, "This is kinda getting to be a bad habit with me!".

" Just for a couple of minutes. Xander resuscitated you." Willow explains, " But it was long enough to call another slayer."

" Ok… I'm kinda burning out here" Buffy says, " I'm kinda at the level now of " Fire burn… Flower pretty". Maybe we could head back home now?" Buffy asks, feeling a little tired, a whole lot confused.

" Oh, " Willow says, looking a little disappointed, " I thought maybe we'd head over to the Bronze for awhile".

" Bronze? We're going to hang out by a statue?" Buffy asks.

" N-No, Buffy" Tara puts in, " It's a nightclub. We all used to hang out there a lot".

" OH" Buffy says, " Got it. Yeah, sounds better than a statue… but not really feeling up to it. Can we kinda do a rain check?" Buffy sees the other women look disappointed. " Hey, why don't you go? I'll just head back home alone". She looks around, and realizes she doesn't know where 'home' is, " ummm… if one of you could just point me in the right direction…"

" No…no…" Willow says," We'll take you home. It's probably best. Slow is best"

"Well, you guys can like, go to the Bronze after. I mean, it's still early, right?" Buffy says, not wanting to be a party poop.

"Naw, it's ok. No big" Willow says, " No real point in going now".

_No point? _Tara thinks, _ maybe a little alone time. Just you and me, and no Buffy? _Tara sighs _ Yeah, like that's going to happen._

The three women turn around and head back towards Revello Drive.

* * *

The three women start up the walk to the house. The porch light is on, just as they left it. But they see some stuff that wasn't there when they left.

On the porch are a couple of shoulder bags. Also a backpack, and a garment bag. The three women look at each other, puzzled. It's then that Buffy notices a motorcycle parked in the driveway.

" Isn't that …Faith's bike?" Buffy asks, bewildered. " What's going on?"

Willow and Tara look at each other, then back at Buffy. They shrug.

" Well, I'm gonna find out!" Buffy says, marching to the door and inside. Willow and Tara follow.

They find Faith inside, sitting on the couch. She's dressed in her bike leathers, and her helmet is sitting next to her. When she sees the trio, she stands, picking up her helmet. Her expression is sad, but determined.

" Well, glad you're back. I was waitin' til ya all got back. P-nuts upstairs, studying or asleep. Don't know which, really…" Faith says, but Buffy interrupts her.

"What's going on, Faith? Why…what're you doing?" Buffy queries, looking puzzled.

" Well, B…ummm… let's face it. Things aren't going so hot around here" Faith says, " me and Red? No secret, but we're not getting along too good. This isn't helping anyone, especially you and Dawn. So I'm kinda figuring, one of us gotta go. I guess that'd be me". Faith is looking at Buffy, her heart breaking. She so doesn't want to go. But Dawn was right. What's going on here is intolerable, and what's she hanging around where she's not wanted, anyway?

" I … I don't get it" Buffy says, clearly not liking this, " I thought… I thought we had an agreement. Didn't we? You and me?"

" B… look, it's for the best, ok? Even before you…" Faith hesitates, hating the "D" word, " … died, things were kinda unraveling. We weren't doing so well… . Look, you're back now, and you got Red and Tara. They can give ya all you need in way of who you are and stuff. You don't need me for Dawn, or nothin'. I was kidding myself thinking I should stay."

" No! you promised! " Buffy says, firmly. " You said you'd give it some time!"

" B, it's kinda pointless, don't ya see?" Faith says, hating herself for saying this, but knowing it's the only way, " What… what we had is gone. We'll never have that again, and we're kidding ourselves if we think otherwise. Even before, we were kinda skidding for the rocks. You… me… we just never meshed like we shoulda. I never felt like I was really part of your life. Like you needed me. I could get so close, then you'd drop a wall down. I dunno if it had to do with Angel, and what he did to you, or what. But all I know is I always felt like I was outside lookin' in. Somehow, I failed you. I didn't convince you that you could trust me with everything. I can't blame you, it musta been something I did to make you feel that way. We spent 3 years at it. Maybe it just wasn't supposed to be. I dunno. I just know now things are getting worse, not better. So, I'm not gonna hang around to make it worse."

" So typical" Willow says, " That's just you're style Faith. When the going gets tough, Faith goes running".

" Be quiet, Willow" Tara says, quietly, but her tone is firm.

" Huh?" Willow says, "What?"

" I don't think that remark was called for, Willow, " Tara says, quietly, " Faith has stuck by Buffy through a whole lot. You've been snide and rude to her for awhile now, and you know why. I know why. So quit butting in where it's not your business. Frankly, you've been equally, if not MORE the blame why things aren't going well around here. I think it should be us going, not Faith. We're only here because she wanted to let us be part of Dawn's life. She knew you were close to Buffy, and thought it would be good for Dawn to have us around. Buffy asked her to watch out for Dawn, not you. I think that vexed you some. Faith loved Buffy and Dawn enough to include you, as I'm sure Buffy would've, if it hadn't been for all the stuff going on. So, stop being so mean to her," Tara pauses, and turns to Buffy, " Buffy, I think it's time Willow and I find another place to live."

" Tara, thanks, " Faith says, " But Dawn's pretty upset with me, too. Best I go".

"Well, I'm not going anywhere" Willow says, " Someone's gotta stay and make sure Buffy is ok".

" I'm going" Tara says, " whether you go or not, Willow".

"Tara!" Willow says, turning to Tara, " you can't!"

" I can, and I will. I've been watching this whole drama. I've tried to be supportive of your thing with Buffy. I've really tried to understand it. But I at the end of my patience, Willow" Tara says, her voice more sad than angry, " I really love you. I just don't know if you really love me. So, now I'm forcing you to choose, Willow. It's me, or Buffy" Tara pauses, " Choose".

Willow looks trapped. She hates being put in this position, and she blames Faith. But she really has no choice.

" I'm with you, of course, Tara " Willow says," There's no choice on my part. I love you!"

Tara smiles. That's the answer she was hoping for. She only says one word. " Good ". _Maybe now, if we get away from Buffy 24x7, Willow won't be so obsessive over her. I hope so!_

" I don't want anyone to leave!" Buffy says, worriedly. She turns to Faith, " Why does anyone have to leave?"

" Buffy, this aint only about you" Faith says, " the tension around here's getting sucky. Dawn's feeling it, big time. We gotta think of her needs, too."

"What about my needs?" Dawn says from the stairs. She's standing at the top, looking at the people below.

"Dawn? What're you doing up?" Willow asks, calling up, " Shouldn't you be in bed?"

" I was…I just had to use the bathroom, and I heard you down here. What's going on?" She asks. She notices Faith dressed in her bike leathers, holding her helmet. " What's going on?" She repeats, insistently.

"Faith was getting ready to leave as we walked in, " Buffy says, upset. " Now Willow and Tara are gonna leave!".

"Leave?" Dawn cries, her voice sounding strangled. She runs downstairs, confronting Faith, " You can't leave!".

" You seemed pretty sure you wanted me gone, Dawnie" Faith says.

" I… I was upset, is all. I didn't mean it, any of it!" She says, " you… you can't go!" She turns to the others, " You can't let her go!".

" Dawn, honey" Tara says, " Don't worry. She's not going. Willow and I decided to move out".

" Nooo!" Dawn cries, " You can't. You're family. You're my family! You can't leave me!" She gets panicky, running from one to the other, " You can't leave!".

Faith catches Dawn, holding her still. Dawn struggles a little, then gives up. She looks at all of them like they're abandoning her.

"Dawn?" Faith says, gently, " what you said earlier? You were right. Things are getting out of hand around here. Something's gotta change. Maybe it's best we stick with me leaving. " Faith says, quietly, " She needs you guys more than me". Faith lets go of Dawn. She starts toward the front door. Tara stops her.

"No, Faith. They need you. Both of them, now more than ever. You can't leave them, not like this. Buffy's not ready to do her slayer duties, and Dawn needs a strong, unobsessed…" this last directed towards Willow "… role model. Buffy's not ready to take care of her. She needs you."

"There's a lot you don't know about, Tara" Faith says, looking at Dawn. Dawn blushes.

"I know more than you think, Faith, " Tara says, also looking at Dawn. " I'm pretty sure you can work it out. Don't you think so, Dawnie?"

Dawn, not looking up, says, " Yeah". She looks up, directly at Faith, " but you gotta promise to stay!".

Faith looks at Tara, and smiles a knowing grin. She's sometimes amazed at how much this woman can see, when the rest of them seem to be blind as … well, bats. _Wonder if Red'll ever figure out how lucky she is?_

" Ok, I get ya, Tara. I'll stay" Faith says. She walks over to Dawn, looking into her eyes. " So, P-nut. We friends?"

"Yeah," She says. Then she adds, not wanting to make it too easy, " I guess". _ Like I get a choice._

" Listen up, Faith" Willow says, breaking her silence, " I'll say this one time. I still don't trust you. I've never really trusted you. I said I'll leave, because Tara wants me too. But I'm gonna be watching you. If anything happens to Buffy or Dawn, I'm going to give you a …."

" Frankly, Willow, after what you did." A voice behind them says, " I'd be very careful about whom you threaten".

Surprised, all of the women in the room turn towards the front door. Standing in the entryway is a middle aged man with thinning brown hair, glasses and a tweed suit. He also has a rather stern expression on his face.

" GILES !!! "

* * *

To be continued.


	9. Chapter 9

**Timeless Faith**

By Norwalker

Part 9 of ?

Rating : R for language, sexual situations and violence.

Category: Romance/Angst/Drama

Disclaimer: Most, if not all of the characters depicted here are the property of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, Inc. and Fox. This is a work of fiction; any similarities to anyone living or dead are purely coincidental.

Summary: Third in a series of stories started with " Summer of faith" and continued in "Seasons of faith". In the last book, Buffy died fighting Glorificus, the Hell goddess. This book picks up where that book ended. How does Faith deal with the loss of Buffy? How does life change for the scoobies? Buffy will be with them always, but is there more to it than just memories? Stay tuned.

Spoilers: Possible season 6 and season 7 spoilers. Hope you've watched them by now.

Timeline: Season 6, maybe season 7 and beyond( don't know yet).

WARNING: **_There is always the possibility of major character death_**. Romance between members of the same gender(duh). Sexual situations between members of the same gender. This is an _Alternate Universe_ (AU) story. The real(by the series 'coda' ) relationship between Buffy and Faith never happened here. So if you're looking for the dark, knife wielding, don't give a crap about nothing but me Faith, She's not here.(ok, bit of an exaggeration, as we all know by now that Faith redeemed herself, but the "dark, evil" Faith never got a chance to live here). Violence happens. Adult themes( someday, I plan on being one, too). Sexual situations. All the usual stuff.

* * *

Everybody's attention seems riveted on Rupert Giles.

For a moment, time seems to pause in that living room. Everybody stops whatever they're doing, or saying, and just stare at Giles. No one (except for Dawn) expected him, and to suddenly appear in the doorway was little short of a miracle to them. Or an omen.

Giles had left for England two months after Buffy's death. He'd taken her death particularly hard. His grief was two- fold; he felt enormous guilt over not having done more to prevent Buffy's death. He felt if he'd only had more time, he could've found another way to defeat Glory and prevent the apocalypse, without sacrificing his slayer. More accurately, the woman he'd come to think of as his daughter. That was the other side of his grief; losing Buffy had been like losing a daughter. Being British, and raised with that country's natural inclination to being reserved, he never expressed the depth of feelings he had for the young woman. She had been much more than his charge, and losing her to death had been devastating to him.

He'd hung on for 2 months, trying his best to help those grieving over Buffy to come to terms with his loss. But he felt, or he made himself believe, that more and more he was becoming irrelevant to their lives. He mistakenly believed that they no longer needed him. So, with a heavy heart, he departed for England. Though he was fond of those he left behind, Sunnydale had lost its appeal for him. He felt it was time to get on with his life, and put Sunnydale, it's hellmouth, and his loss behind him.

Despite his best efforts, however, he couldn't put it behind him. Even 8000 miles away, they were with him. Late at night, when he was alone, his mind would often wander back to Sunnydale, and those special people who had so touched his life. He often wondered how they were, and how they were doing. But being reticent by nature, he refrained from contacting them, fearing he would be interfering with their healing process. After the call from Dawn, informing him of the situation, he spent his remaining time in England reprehending himself for being a fool.

As he looks around the room, seeing most of the people he holds affection for gathered, he realizes exactly how big a fool he's been. Despite their sophistication, and strength, they were still young… very young. They need someone to lend a guiding hand, or an ear, now and then. They still required to be told when they were wrong, and praised when they were right. In a strange way, he was luckier than many men. He had not one, but many children, all bright and talented , all claiming a small piece of his heart. As much as he loved and often needed his mother country, he was glad to be back.

"Giles!" " Heya G" " Mr. Giles!" greets him as the crowd surges towards him. Despite the anger he feels at the situation(and he is rather angry), he can't help but smile a little at the obviously warm and heart-felt greetings. Arthur Chipping had never had it so good. He knows that he has a lot of work to do, to try to straighten things out. But for the moment, he just accepts(and is touched by) the affection of these young people.

He notes one person hanging back, looking confused and alone. He gently disengages himself from the group encircling him, and walks over to the petite blonde standing by herself. As he approaches, he notes that physically she looks unchanged. He wonders how much she's gone through to try to recapture herself. He knows how strange it feels to have known this young woman so well, and now be a virtual stranger to her. It must be doubly hard on her.

"Hello, Buffy, " he says quietly, looking down at her. She looks up at him, and he notes that her eyes still have that power to fix one's attention. He smiles gently at her.

"H-Hi. I…I know I should know you, but…" Buffy stammers a little, nervously." … I just don't. I'm very sorry".

" I understand" Giles replies, " My name is Giles… Rupert Giles. I am… well, was, you're watcher for many years. I know you don't remember much of anything. I'm hoping we'll become reacquainted. I believe I'm going to be around for awhile."

" I'd like that" Buffy says, sincerely. She senses a closeness to this man, but can't remember what it was, or how it got to be so." They've told me a lot about you" She says indicating the group. Then she has a funny feeling, and her expression changes. " Ice cream" she says, doubtfully, looking at him for an explanation.

" I'm sorry, Buffy. I don't understand?" Giles says, looking at Buffy for a clue.

"There's something about you and ice cream" she says, her face showing her own confusion. "It's weird. It just popped into my head. Something about you … and me… we were talking about something…and ice cream?" She continues to concentrate, her brow furrowed. Then her face brightens a little, and she looks up at him. " It… was in a place with a lot of books…and a cage?" She looks at him doubtfully.

" Yes… the Sunnydale high library" Giles says, feeling a tiny spark of excitement growing in him. _Had he jarred a memory in her? Maybe…maybe her memory was gone, but just suppressed! _He notes her bewildered expression, and explains" I kept rare and … well, controversial books in the cage. Also, we had the weapons locker in there."

"Weapons?" She asks, then answers, "oh, right, I was a slayer…" She sees his expression and says, " No, I don't remember that…Faith told me. But what does Ice cream have to do with the library?" She puzzles that over a little, and again, her face lights up. " I… I was upset, cuz I'd done something I hated to do…it was really hard… and I'd been away for awhile?" she looks at him, and he nods, remembering what she's talking about now. She continues, " Yes… and I was still sad…and you wanted… you wanted to comfort me. So you said… I think, anyway, " This is one of those times when one requires vast quantities of Ice cream… so I'm told?"… and I remember it made me smile". She looks up at him hopefully, and sees he's smiling.

" Yes, quite right," He says, softly. He's taken off his glasses, and is cleaning them. He's trying to cover the excitement he's feeling. He doesn't want to get her hopes too high. But … this is quite an accomplishment!

He notices it's gone quiet around them, and he looks, and sees astonishment in the faces surrounding them. He hadn't been aware of when the rest of the group had come over, but it seems the picked up they last part of the conversation.

"Buffy. You remembered something!" Willow says, smiling.

"Yeah, I guess I did" Buffy says, trying to be nonchalant, but beaming a little.

"This is wonderful, Buffy" Tara adds, " Maybe more things will come back to you".

" Yeah… maybe" Buffy says, feeling a little doubtful. She still doesn't know why she remembers this.

" Great, B. Now, if I can get ya to remember to put the towels in the hamper after you use them…." Faith cracks.

"FAITH!" Willow says, perturbed.

"Listen, guys" Faith says, " It's really great Buffy remembers this. But don't be getting all excited. Might be this'll all she'll be remembering. Don't make a big deal out of it… yet".

" Faith's right" Giles says, agreeing, " Don't expect much. Don't put undue pressure on Buffy to remember more right now. It's best if we just let her come to it in her own time."

" But how long is that going to be, Giles?" Willow asks, " What if we wait years, and she never recovers her memories. What then? Is it fair to let her flounder about, never being who she was? Never remembering her own sister? Or her mom? Or… anything? I mean, don't get me wrong. It's wonderful she remembered that little thing with you and her, but that's not really enough, is it?"

"What are you suggesting, Willow?" Giles says, his voice taking on a faint tinge of frost. Willow doesn't pick up on the subtlety and continues on.

"I've been doing research. I haven't found the right spell yet, but I'm sure if I keep at it, I can find something to aid Buffy's memory." Willow says, excitedly, " I mean, wouldn't it be great? Things would be back to the way they were. I know everybody would be happier. Buffy, Faith, Dawn… everyone. " She looks at Giles, expectantly.

Giles feels a burning sensation at the pit of his stomach. " I see," he says, noncommittally." Maybe we should talk in the kitchen, Willow. I believe we have some things to discuss."

Willow agrees happily. She figures if she can get Giles to see her point of view, he'll naturally agree. With Giles in her corner, there won't be anymore discussion about "fixing" Buffy. It'll get done! Feeling confident, she follows Giles into the kitchen.

* * *

The four remaining people in the room stand around feeling rather ill at ease. The events of the evening have been stressful and disconcerting. Everyone is feeling a bit awkward, still trying to cling to the secrets they're holding. An embarrassed silence descends on the room.

"Dawn," Buffy finally says, breaking the tension filled silence, " Faith said something about you wanting her gone earlier. What's going on between you two?"

Dawn looks mortified Her eyes go wide… and the wider her eyes get, the tighter her lips compress. _This is the last, the VERY last thing I want to talk to YOU about, Buffy. I'm going to suddenly confess that I'm in love with your girl friend? Your girl friend? That's rich. You can't even remember who she is . Yet, she can't see anything but YOU! Oh yeah, we're going to sit down and just chat about my feelings and your feelings for Faith. In what UNIVERSE, Buffy? It's so damned unfair. You sit there, like the princess, and everything comes falling into your lap, and you don't even appreciate it. ME? I get the be the ugly stepchild, not wanted by the one I want. I swear I wish that Willow had NEVER brought you back!_ She realizes what she thought, and is ashamed. _ No, I don't mean that! I just wish it were different! I hate this!_

All that passes through her mind in a second. " Nothin' " she says, hanging her head. Faith, understanding Dawn's reluctance, comes to her rescue.

" Hey, Buffy" Faith says, " Look. Before you guys got back, me and Dawn had a fight. A pretty big one." She flashes Dawn a big look saying ' go with me on this one, don't interrupt', then continued, " I caught her trying to sneak out. She got upset, and well we started screaming at each other. A lot of what she said I just let slide, figuring she was pissed cuz I caught her. But she also hit some truths, and well… some of it hurt, and some of it kinda made sense. Red and I been acting like assholes, but I know better, " She said, not able to resist getting that zinger in, " We were so thick headed, tryin' to prove who was right, that we kinda forgot we were makin' the whole house miserable," Faith looks around at them, " I'm really sorry I been a jerk , ok?" She pauses, then continues, " But there was more. She called me on going around, acting all mopey and wimpy. Especially about you, Buffy. She kinda made it clear that if I was interested in renewing a relationship with you, I should do somethin' about it, and stop acting like a hurt, whipped puppy. That doin' that was only pushin' you away, making me bein' here kinda pointless" Faith pauses, looking at Dawn, who's not so sure she's liking where this is going… but keeps quiet because the truth is worse. " She said if I was just gonna go around feelin' sorry for myself, I should get gone".

Buffy looks angry, and turns to Dawn. " What do you think …." She gets out before Faith stops her.

" Whoa. Buff, she was right. I love Dawnie, " Faith says, adding hastily, " like a sister". Dawn looks crestfallen, but keeps silent. Faith continues, " and I'd do anything to make her life better. But frankly, since you been back? It's been kinda rough for me. I've been so ….Well, look, I haven't been watchin' over Dawn like I should, ok? I messed up, badly. I was feelin' sorry for myself, feeling me being here was kinda pointless, "Faith pauses, her face showing the various stuff going on inside her. She finally goes on, " Look, Buffy. We gotta talk. But not here… somewhere else. It's kinda private, and I need not to be doing this with an audience. You get it?"

"Yeah," Buffy replies, doubtfully. She's feeling kind of bewildered, anxious, and maybe a touch hurt, " I get it, I guess".

" How about takin' a walk with me? I know I could use some air" Faith says, needing Buffy to say yes.

"Ok," Buffy replies, unsure but willing, " yeah… I think I could use some air, too".

" I think that's a great idea" Tara says, smiling, " Give me and Dawnie a chance to talk". She looks at Dawn, who's not all that thrilled with the idea. But not having any choice or say in the matter, she remains quiet.

" Good, great" Faith says, getting up. Buffy does likewise, " We'll be back after awhile, if anyone asks" Faith says, making it clear that's all that concerns anyone about whatever she and Buffy are going to discuss. " It's getting kinda late, P-nut, don't stay up all night gossiping with Tara, ok?"

" Yeah, ok," Dawn says, a little sullenly. Faith arches an eyebrow, but doesn't say anything. She and Buffy leave.

Dawn watches them go, the wistful look on her face pretty obvious. She turns back, and slumps on the couch, a disgusted expression on her face.

" Like you care" She mutters under her breath. She's feeling a little sorry for herself.

" She does care, honey" Tara says, turning to Dawn, " She cares a lot."

" That's a load, " Dawn says, " She couldn't care less if I lived or died".

"Dawn!" Tara says, irritated, " I think that's rather childish of you. I sort of expect better from you!"

" Well, duh, I'm a child, right?" Dawn replies, upset, " At least, that's what everybody thinks. I'm just a kid. I don't feel grown-up stuff. No, not Dawn. I'm just immature. I got like, puppy love or a crush or something. It's not real, right?"

" Oh, no, Dawnie" Tara says, " It's real alright. Very real. To you, it's the most real thing in the world."

" Yeah sure, " Dawn says, " You're just saying that".

" No, Dawn, I mean it" Tara replies, " I hate to break this to you, Dawn, but you're not the first person to go through this".

" I know that," Dawn says, rolling her eyes, her tone disgusted, " God, I'm not a moron!"

" No, you're not a moron" Tara says, " And yes, you are a moron."

" Huh?" Dawn replies, not quite sure how to take that. Was that an insult?

" You're a bright, intelligent, perceptive young woman, Dawn" Tara answers, " I don't need to tell you that. But when it comes to Faith, I'm afraid you're an idiot."

"Thanks… NOT!" Dawn says ironically." A tip, Tara? Don't become an inspirational speaker, ok?"

Tara sighs, " Dawn. You've got it in your head that Faith doesn't care about you. You don't have a clue. Why do you think Faith's here?"

" Cuz Buffy made her" Dawn replies, a little petulantly.

"See? Moronic response" Tara says, trying not to grin, " Just because Buffy asked her to watch over you, do you think she would if she didn't want to?"

" Well, maybe she wanted to be close to Buffy's grave," Dawn responds, trying to switch approaches.

" Dawn, think about it. She could've lived elsewhere and still be close to Buffy's grave" Tara says, " She didn't need to be here."

" Yeah, but here she'd be reminded of Buffy, this being her house and all" Dawn shoots back.

" True, but on the other hand, it'd be pure torture for her. Everything around here would remind her of Buffy, and her loss" Tara replies, " Don't you think it's been hard for her to live here?"

Dawn hadn't considered that, " uh… no".

" The reason Faith stayed around is because she loves you, very much" Tara says, " Not romantically, but on even a deeper level. She loves you like she'd love a little sister. She never HAD a little sister," Tara smiles at Dawn, " I've known Faith a couple of years now. One of the things she always wanted, and never had, was a little sister she could share things with."

"I don't wanna be her sister, " Dawn cries, " I want Faith!"

"Dawn, sweetie", Tara says, gently, " We sometimes … heck, lots of times, want things we simply can't have. Even if Buffy hadn't come back, a romantic relationship between you and Faith just isn't going to happen".

" How do you know? I'm not a kid, I'd be patient," Dawn said, " I'd wait til she thought she could accept it. Why do you just dismiss it like it's impossible?"

" Because it's impossible, honey" Tara replies, trying to soften the blow, " She just doesn't see you that way. To her, you're always going to be her sister."

"You're wrong!" Dawn cries, " I know you're wrong. Given time, she'd see me as…I am. Not as Buffy's sister, but … as a woman."

" Dawn, honey" Tara says, gently, " You've got to accept the truth".

" But it's not the truth, " Dawn says, " Anyway, there are ways… " She trails off. _I … I could do a love spell._

" A love spell, Dawn?" Tara says, almost as if reading Dawn's thoughts, " Is that what you really want? Faith … loving you, not because of you, but because of some spell?"

"YES!" Dawn exclaims. Then her face falls, and she mumbles, " No…". She trails off. She wants Faith, but only if Faith loves her, really loves her. Sees who she is. She realizes that even if Faith were to do that, she… _It's so unfair! Why? Why'd you do this to me? Why'd you make me love her , and keep her from me? Not let her love me back? Why? _ Dawn sits, looking at her hands. _Stupid hands. Stupid body… stupid… I'm just some damned kid. I'll never be adult enough, or smart enough, or pretty enough, or anything enough. I… she'll always see me as …damn._ Dawn's face starts to get red, her eyes getting wet. Even before there's any sound, tears start to fall down her cheeks. She looks up, and sees Tara watching her. She sees the sympathy and understanding in Tara's face. She leans on Tara, her tears starting to become sobs.

" Why? Why is this happening to me? I… I love her so much, and she can't understand that. She'll never understand that. She'll never see me like that. Why? It hurts so much, Tara. It hurts so much".

Tara holds Dawn, quietly letting her cry out her pain. She runs her hand through her long brown hair, and pats her gently, now and then, encouraging her to let it out. She knows it'll start to heal for her now. The power of healing tears has begun. She's accepted reality, and will be able to start to let go of her fantasy. But she knows how much it hurts. How it's going to keep hurting for days, weeks, months… even years.

She knows how it feels to love and not be loved back.

* * *

" I know, I know you think things are bad, Giles. But don't worry, I've got it all under control" Willow says, with confidence.

She and Giles are in the kitchen, away from the others. Willow is sitting at the breakfast nook, not looking directly at Giles, while Giles is standing by the sink, looking out the window. It looks as if he's not paying attention, but he's all ears, catching everything Willow is saying.

"I've been researching, Giles" Willow says, explaining, " I've been looking through all the books I can lay my hands on, and on the 'net, and at the local Wicca groups. I haven't found a precise spell yet, but I've got some good leads. I'm feeling pretty confident that I'll soon be able to find the right spell. I'll be able to restore Buffy's memories. I know it. I know I can fix this" Willow babbles on, trying to justify her actions as much to herself as to Giles.

Giles turns away from the window, and looks at Willow. His mouth is set in a hard, grim line. His eyes are intense… the effect somewhat magnified by his glasses. There is no mistaking his mood.

" You bloody fool. Do you have any idea at all what you've done?" Giles says, harshly.

"Giles" Willow says, surprised. She turns to him, and sees his expression.

" Do you have any idea how … dangerous the forces are that you've been playing with? You've tapped into dark forces, powers so old and dangerous, they're not meant for this plane of existence. They're forbidden for a reason, Willow. They always… _always_ … have consequences. " Giles says, keeping his voice low, trying to control his fury.

" Giles, " Willow responds, defensively, " I thought… I thought you'd be happy Buffy is back".

" The fact that Buffy is alive doesn't mitigate what you've done" Giles says." Resurrection rituals are extremely dangerous. Didn't you're research mention that?" His tone is sarcastic, he doesn't wait for a reply, " The magicks are tricky, the rituals complicated. One wrong word, one wrong intonation, can make it go wrong… horribly wrong. Even the Gods hesitate to use those magicks. They're just too treacherous for … amateurs ".

Willow's face hardens. " I'm not an amateur, Giles" Willow says, tightly. " You seem to think I did this lightly. Believe me, it wasn't an easy decision to make. But what choice did I have, Giles?" Willow says, her temper starting to rise, " I was left with a houseful of people so broken up by Buffy's death, they couldn't function. Left, by the way, by you! Don't you think we could've used your help these past months? Do you really believe it's been easy to deal with Buffy's death?" Willow's face starts to flush, " What about Faith, Giles? She was you're slayer, too. She could've certainly used your help. Who did she have to turn to in her grief? And Dawn? How do you think she coped with Buffy dying to save her life? Think she isn't just a little guilt ridden? Never mind her sister and mother died in the space of 2 months." Willow's fury is beginning to match Giles, " And me, Giles, what about me? I lost my best friend. Don't you think that hurt? I guess not, because instead of staying with the people who needed you, needed your guidance, you la-la skipped back to England, leaving us in the lurch". She switches tacks, " And Buffy, Giles. We had no idea, when she jumped into that portal, where she went. She could've been sucked into some hell dimension. Was I supposed to leave my best friend there, to suffer untold torment? Tell me, Giles, what _EXACTLY_ was I supposed to do?".

Giles squeezes the bridge of his nose above his glasses. He is obviously upset.

" Willow, you're right on one small point," Giles says, softly, " I never should've left. I thought I was irrelevant here, that my role as… advisor was no longer needed. I was also grieving, and I selfishly let it cloud my judgment. For that, I'm terribly sorry" He says, " but that still doesn't justify your actions. What you've done has had a ripple effect, Willow" Giles says, moderating his tone. Being too harsh is not going to get his point across to her, " Magic, all magic, has consequences. There is a delicate balance between the light and dark forces in the universe. Each time magic is used, it throws the balance off a little. Most of the times, it's balanced by forces on the other side using magic." He pauses, organizing his thoughts. He goes on, his tone betraying a little fear, " What you've done has sent ripples not only through this dimension, but all the dimensions, Willow. Before coming here, I consulted with a friend in Devonshire. He heads a coven. They got together, and after many spells, they determined that your actions have long reaching consequences. Are you aware of that?" He says, his tone quiet, but firm.

"N-no" Willow replies. She's beginning to feel a bit queasy.

" Bringing Buffy back, changing the course of events, has unbalanced the scales between light and dark. The balance has been tipped to far towards the light. There is no other magic that nearly equals the power of what you did. This situation can't remain unresolved." Giles stops, trying to remember everything the coven leader told him. " I told you earlier that your actions will have consequences. Do you remember?" Giles asks.

"Y-yes" Willow says. She's getting a very bad feeling.

" I fear that the forces of the dark are not going to just allow this situation to remain. They are going to trigger actions to rebalance the scales. It's likely that what you've done is bring on another apocalypse." Giles says, not sugar-coating it.

Willow's face goes white. She never realized that that her actions could have such far-reaching consequences. She turns to Giles again.

" I…I don't understand, Giles. Her death wasn't natural, it was … mystical. It shouldn't have…" Willow says, but Giles interrupts her.

" You still aren't understanding, Willow" Giles sighs, " It's not the resurrection itself that cause the imbalance. It's that you brought Buffy back!".

Willow looks at him, confused.

" Buffy was the active slayer," Giles explains." She died once, fighting the master, and was revived. This called Kendra, who started a new line of slayers. Buffy's line was no longer active. That ended with her death, no matter how brief. But, when she was revived, it caused an imbalance. To correct that, Kendra and her line were never _the active line._ She had the powers, as did Faith who followed her, after her death. But they were never THE chosen one. Not as long as Buffy lived. Though the line continues through them, that is, a new slayer won't be called unless Faith dies, Buffy was the chosen one. That is the only way two slayers could co-exist at one time. One active, one inactive. Things were thrown a bit off when Faith met Buffy in L.A. According to the Pergamum Codex, their meeting wasn't supposed to happen that way. It was supposed to happen later that year… in Sunnydale. The path Faith took was supposed to be different, and a lot darker. That they met sooner, and Faith… didn't follow through on her 'destiny', had already thrown things out of balance. But that was minor in comparison, and was balanced by a greater activity in the Hellmouth. "

"The change in their relationship had consequences. Though the rise of Glory had already been predicted, having two slayers changed things. One or the other had to die fighting Glory. It wasn't known which. That was never clear. Faith could've easily have been the one to die, and keep the balance. But it was Buffy who chose to die… remember, _she chose to die, to save Dawn_. Even if she hadn't, one or the other would've died that night. I found that out, later, in England. It was fated, to rebalance the scales again." Giles stops. He looks at Willow, to see if she's following. Not getting any reaction, he continues, " When Buffy died that night, things changed. Faith became The Chosen One. She was now the champion of light, and those that followed her, if and when she died, would be the active slayers. The balance had been restored."

" But, you changed the rules, Willow" Giles says, unhappily." You brought Buffy back. Once a slayer is active, you can't de-activate her. It doesn't work that way. So, now , we've got two active slayers… the chosen two. That's never supposed to happen. There's no precedence for it. Things are way out of balance. The rules have changed, permanently. It no longer matters if one or the other dies, that won't reset the balance. There could be a thousand slayers, or none, and the situation won't change. Rebalancing the scales will take some kind of cataclysmic event; perhaps a heretofore unknown apocalypse. That's what we're facing. We have no idea of when, or how, or who or what we'll be dealing with, but it's going to happen!".

Willow no longer feels queasy. She feels deathly ill. The weight of what she's done is beginning to crush down on her. The guilt… she's triggered the end of the world… is overwhelming. She'd known through her studies of Wicca that there were consequences to her magic, but … she never suspected this. She wouldn't, couldn't look at Giles. She was so ashamed. _ I've doomed us… doomed us all. Goddess, what am I going to do? What am I going to do? How can I make this right? I can't, I can't make this right. I've gotta do something, but I can't. I can't. There's nothing I can do. Nothing._ She finally realizes, in her way, what Buffy and Faith have had to live with for their entire careers as slayers. The weight of the world is on her shoulders.

"What do I do, Giles?" Willow asks in supplication, " I don't know what to do!" Her arrogance is gone. She's like a child, pleading with her father to help her, to make it better.

Giles looks at her, and realizes she's genuinely remorseful. He doesn't hate Willow. If he could, he would take this burden from her. But he knows there is no way to ease her guilt or pain. No one can do that for her. All he can do is offer support.

" There's nothing anyone can do right now, Willow. Not until we know more, " He says, truthfully, " all we can do is wait, and monitor the situation. The coven at Devonshire is doing that now. Once we know more, have an idea of who or what we're facing, then we can plan. Right now there's nothing to do but wait." He pauses. There's more, but it's even harder. He looks at her, and wishes he didn't have to go on, but he does, " Also, Willow, for now, this is our secret. You can't tell anyone. You have to pretend things are normal. Telling them now will only panic them. Once we know more, then we'll tell them together."

" I understand" She says, her voice barely above a whisper. It cracks, her guilt already weighing heavily on her, " Giles, how'm I going to look at them… knowing what I know? How can I face them?" She asks. She can barely look at him.

" You're going to have to figure some way to do it, Willow" Giles says, not unkindly, but firmly nonetheless." This is your punishment, I fear. I can't do it for you; you have to deal with it alone." She nods her understanding, and looks away.

He walks over to her, laying his hands on her shoulders. He knows in his heart she wasn't evil, just foolish. He does his best to comfort her, but there really isn't any comfort for her.

She leans back against him, needing the contact. She cries silently, the tears falling down her cheeks, but not making a sound. She finally speaks.

" I … I never meant this to happen, Giles" She says, her voice breaking, " I…I was only trying to fix things. Everybody…was so miserable… I thought… I thought I could make it better… make it right again. I didn't know, Giles… I didn't know, " She stops, trying to catch her breath," I only wanted to make it all right again. I just wanted to make it better." She looks up at him, sorrowfully, " I screwed it up. I screwed it all up. I… I hurt them all, Giles. Faith… Tara… Buffy. How do I make it better, Giles? Please… please…help me make it better." She dissolves into tears, not able to talk anymore.

He looks down at her, feeling sorry for her, but only able to offer this cold, silent comfort.

It'll be a long time before she can be at peace in her heart again.

* * *

Faith and Buffy walk quietly down Revello Drive.

Faith knows she has to talk to Buffy about her feelings, about their relationship. Whatever that is now. She's finding it hard to begin, however. A thousand memories assail her, all little bits of her life with Buffy. It feels so strange to be walking here, with her, beside her, and not be holding her hand. She doesn't know how to approach her; it's not the same person she's loved for so long… yet she is the same, all too familiar. She talks like her, walks like her. Her smile shoots little darts into Faith's heart. Her eyes are still change with her moods. She still gets that little inflection when she's doubtful about something.

But what's in her head? In her heart? Faith doesn't have a clue. It makes her uneasy. She's spent so long sussing out Buffy's moods, the little clues she'd throw to let Faith know what's what. Knowing by a word, a gesture where her heart, her mind is. All of that is gone. Faith can't read her anymore, and it scares her. So she walks, quietly, trying to figure out how to begin.

And Buffy, like she'd done so many times in the past, blows Faith away once again. She slipped her hand into Faith's, lacing her fingers with Faiths. Faith nearly trips over her own feet. She gives Buffy a questioning look, but Buffy acts like it's the most natural thing in the world. _This is too scary, _ Faith thinks, _even when she's not herself, not really, she does some little thing that blows me away. How gone, how damned lost am I?_

" Didn't you want to talk to me about something?" Buffy asked, turning to Faith. Faith's expression made her giggle. " What is it? You look like a snake bit you." Buffy says, smiling.

"Uhhh… it's nothing" Faith says, covering. She's confused, but not wanting to call attention to the hand-holding. She's afraid Buffy will take her hand back. She so doesn't want that to happen.

"Ok, it's nothing then" Buffy says, doubtfully. " But we're out here. It's a beautiful night, the weather's nice…full moony and all. Back there you said you wanted to talk to me in private. But we haven't been doing too much of the talking" Buffy says, looking at Faith. " We can just walk, enjoy the night. Maybe we'll run into some of those vampires again, and you'll get all tough and fighty, and I'll get all scared and go hide … so, what do you think? Should we talk before, or just wait for the bumpy-faced guys to show up?".

Faith looks at Buffy, and can't help feeling the irony of the situation. For 3 years, she wanted nothing more than Buffy to say exactly that… and mean it, as she seems to mean it now. Lets talk, openly, no barriers, no hiding. Just talk to each other. Really talk to each other. But it takes an apocalypse, and Buffy dying, and being brought back sans memory, to bring it all about. _The worst part? The absolute worst? Now that I got her here, now that she's all like paying attention, not worrying about other stuff, or trying to keep something back, or hide? I'm… I can't figure how to talk to her! How can I tell her how I feel, what I need, without scaring her off? Making her feel weird, or pressured or whatever. What do I say to her? This is so BOGUS! At 16, I knew what to say to a cute little blonde waitress named Annie aka Buffy aka The slayer. It was so easy… maybe cuz I didn't have no junk invested. It was all new for both of us. That so isn't what's happening now. I got 3 years plus of memories and stuff about her, and she's got zip. It's back to square one for her, and I gotta figure a way to make my way back there, or bring her here. How do I do that, knowing what I know about her._

_But WHAT do I know about her? I mean, the woman standing right here in front of me, not the Buffy I knew? Is she even the same girl? Deep inside? Or is she different? Do I even love her, I mean' the her' that's here, now? Maybe I need to think of it as all new again? Maybe we need to start again, Me Faith, her Buffy… and learn about each other again. Because no matter what we tell her, she's not going to be the same Buffy, probably ever again. Not without her memories, not without those things that made her Buffy._

_She's still Buffy to me. How do I throw out all I know? How do I pretend it like never happened? This is so confusing. I haven't a clue. I hate being clueless. Grrr._

"Faith? Are you with me? Did you fly off somewhere into La-La- land? Earth to Faith, we've lost transmission. Faith? FAITH!?" Buffy says, seeing the dark haired girl lost in her thoughts.

_It's so strange, _Buffy thinks, _ but then, the girl is … strange. Well, ok, not strange, but totally weirds me out sometimes. I never know exactly what she's thinking. Should I? I feel I should, but I get so confused around her. I mean, I watch her with others, and she's like right out front there, bold, and take no shit from no one. But when I try to talk to her, or visa versa, I get this like… she's all lost and confused vibe. She gets all shy and tongue tied, kinda, and looks at me like I'm gonna bite her. Like she totally wants to be my friend, and …yet, I feel more coming from her, and she doesn't know what to do about it. Like she's scared I'm gonna think she's a joke. Why would she think that, anyway? I don't think I've been mean to her, or nothing. I haven't tried to hurt her feelings. I don't want to hurt her. It's really wiggy, cause I get around her, and I feel all comfortable like. And more. And from what Tara's told me, we had lots more… and it doesn't like… freak me out. God, I wish I could just remember. Tara tells me we had this special thing… love, ok, love… and it was beautiful. God, I so want that. Who doesn't? But it's even more than what Tara tells me, I feel it… all inside me. I can feel how much we… click. It's more than we're like Super chicks together. At least, that's what I understand. But there's more there, something else. Something special. Something I really DON'T want to lose. How do I ... how do I make her know I want to … I want to make it happen again, if we can? God, I hate this, I feel clueless… and I hate feeling clueless. Grrr._

" Huh?" Buffy asks, realizing Faith said something to her

"What?" Faith repeats, thinking she's boring Buffy. " What did you say to me?"

"Huh? Oh, heh" Buffy says, her cheeks going a little red, " I was kinda poking fun at you, trying to get your attention cuz you seemed distracted, then I go get all in my head. Heh, funny, huh?" Buffy says, feeling rather foolish.

Faith looks at her… and then seems to go insane. She starts to chuckle… the chuckle blows up into a laugh…then she's laughing and laughing. Buffy stands there, puzzled… but catches the laugh. She's not sure why she's laughing, but she can't help it… it all seems so ridiculous…she starts to laugh as crazily as Faith… and when they look at each other, the laughing just gets harder and harder… soon they aren't standing anymore, they're laughing so hard their knees give out… without intending it, they kinda lean on each other, falling on their butts on the grass, laughing hysterically at nothing at all. Each time they look at each other, the gales of laughter just break out again. This goes on until they're both so breathless, they have to stop. Their eyes are watering, their sides hurt from laughter… They're hiccupping, but they still burst out in an occasional chortle. Finally, just leaning against each other, back to back, they force themselves to calm down.

"W-what … are w-we … laughing at?" Buffy says, her breath still hitching. She's trying desperately not to laugh again, but she can so feel the giggle tickling at her tummy. She hiccups.

"We're … morons, … you idiot" Faith says, her breath still somewhat lost, trying to breath slowly to regain her composure, which is only half working.

"Excuse me?" Buffy says, a little offended. She turns to Faith, feeling irritated, and then bursts out laughing again.

"Stop it… Stop it" Faith says weakly, but starts laughing again herself.

This continues for another five minutes, until they're both so breathless, they're laying on their backs, wheezing.

"Ok… ok" Buffy says, finally bringing her breathing under control. "Why'd you call me a moron? If anyone's a moron, it's you!" Buffy sounds a little put out.

"You're right, Buffy" Faith says, leaning on her elbow. She's still breathing heavily, trying to get air in her lungs, " I'm a total moron". Faith, not thinking about it, is leaning over Buffy, her hair hanging down loose, smiling at her.   
Buffy looks up at her. _I never noticed how beautiful her eyes are… huh?_

"Ok, glad we settled that," Buffy says, " One question… why're you a moron?".

Faith snorts, figuring it's pretty plain, but explains, " Look, Buffy, " She says, her tone serious now. "I've been having trouble figuring out how to feel about you since you … well, since you returned, " Faith says, " I mean, I know how I used to feel about you… before you… well…before, anyway. I know how I felt about Buffy. But, you're not Buffy, are you?"

" I'm not?" Buffy asks, bewildered, " But, you guys told me I'm Buffy. What's going on? Were you like lying to me?"

" No… no… you're Buffy. I mean, you're not _that_ Buffy anymore… the Buffy before…ok, well, before you died." Faith says, hating to use the 'D' word. " You talk like her, look like her, smell like her…sometimes, its so close to 'her' that it's scary" Faith says, " But you're not her. Not anymore, anyway." Buffy looks at her quizzically , and Faith tries to explain, " what's in here" she gently taps Buffy's forehead, " isn't the same as it was. You don't remember … you … don't have those memories, or thoughts like you used to think… get it?" Buffy nods, getting it; but looks doubtful nonetheless. Faith goes on," You're a different person now, see?" Buffy does see… it sinks in. She nods again, maybe a little sadly.

" That's what's been so weird for me, Buffy. I see you, but I'm seeing the 'other' Buffy. The Buffy I knew. The Buffy I loved, the Buffy who loved me. I have all these feelings inside for you, but it's not you… it's the 'other' Buffy. When I realized you lost your memory, didn't know who I was, or who you were, I was sick… heartsick. Up to that time, I still had you, here" Faith points at her heart. "But here you were, back, and not knowing me from any other stranger. It hurt, hurt very badly. Cuz I was so in love with you, and you felt… nothing. Not love, not hate… not anything except maybe confusion and a touch of fear. I couldn't even make it better about the fear… cuz you didn't know me, who I was, what I'd meant( or hope I meant) to you. It was like you were a blank… nothing there… do you see?" Faith asks, concerned she's losing Buffy, and that she might be upset about it all.

Buffy nods. She's trying to encourage Faith to go on. It's important what she's saying, and there's more…_Thing is, Faith, it's not all entirely a blank, there's something here… I can feel it._

"I've been avoiding you, Buffy" Faith says, " and avoiding my feelings. Because I was scared, and hurting. Scared thinking about a life without you at its center. Hurting because no matter what, it would never be the same between you and me. Ever. I didn't want to face the fact that the Buffy I knew was gone." Faith stops, feeling the hurt welling up in her again. " She was my everything. Don't you see? No matter how bad it got, I knew that I …we… would be together, somehow, forever. But… not now… not ever again." Faith , despite her wishes, feels a tear going down her cheek. _Damn, now she's gonna get all … wigged again. Why can't I just keep my mouth shut? Shit, I'm such an idiot!!_

Buffy looks up at Faith, seeing the tear crossing her cheek. _God she loves… loved… me so much. What kinda cold bitch would I be if I didn't feel… something in return? Aw, screw all this thinking crap. _Buffy reaches up, and gently wipes the tear away on Faith's cheek. Faith recoils, and sits up, moving away and turning her back. Buffy is… flummoxed . _ What'd I do? God, what's wrong?_

"Faith? What's wrong? What'd I do wrong?" Buffy asks, sitting up.

"Nothing, " Faith says, her voice edgy, " You didn't do nothing wrong. I told ya, I'm a moron".

" Stop that!" Buffy cries, " you're _not _ a moron!"

" Oh yeah, I'm so a moron" Faith says, her voice bitter, " I'm talking about this other woman to you, a woman you don't know, don't care about … why should you?… and I'm pouring my heart out to you, like you're her , and you're not her. All I wanted to say was that I wanted to accept you as you are, whoever you are, and go on from there. Expecting nothing. But I look at you, and she's looking back at me, and it hurts, hurts so bad. And all I can think that is I want you so bad, and I can't have you, and it's torture, and you touch me.. .and it hurts". Faith sits there, rocking back and forth, hugging herself. She starts to sob, the pain breaking out all over again. She punches the ground, and gets up, angry with herself. " No tears, goddamn it, no more fucking tears." She starts to pace back and forth, feeling all jittery and angry and hurt, " Damn, I swore I wouldn't cry over you anymore!" Faith cries out, but she's crying anyway, " Damn, what's my problem? Dammit, dammit, dammit!" She stalks over to where Buffy is sitting. " WHY? WHY?"

Buffy, confused and scared, never having seen Faith this upset before, just repeats, " Why?"

" Why… why didn't you trust me enough? What did I do wrong? Why? Why did you leave me. WHY? WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME????". Faith cries out, hurt and angry. She starts to walk off, but her knees give out and she falls to the ground. She hunches over, pounding on the ground, trying to punish it. " WHY? What did I do wrong? Why couldn't you let me help you, Buffy? Why did you have to go and leave me alone?". She stops hitting the ground, just kneeling there, letting the sobs wrack through her." I failed you, I failed you, god I failed you" She cries, in utter misery.

Buffy, her heart breaking, watching this woman go to pieces, goes over to Faith. She puts her arms around her, and holds her. She feels her own tears coming, and starts to cry along with Faith.

"I'm sorry, Faith, I'm sorry" She cries, " I'm sorry". She holds Faith, trying to ease her pain. She wants to take it from her, make it easier for her… anything to make her not hurt so much.

Faith pulls herself together, feeling mortified for losing control. She looks up at Buffy.

" I'm sorry, Buffy. I didn't… I didn't mean to lose it, yell at you. I'm sorry" She says, hating to see the tears she's caused.

Buffy struggles to stop crying. It's hard, knowing the pain this woman is in. But she's got to be strong now. For Faith.

"Faith, look at me" Buffy asks, quietly, " Please, look at me."

Faith looks at the ground. " I can't… it hurts too much, I just can't"

Buffy takes Faith's face in her hands, and gently, but firmly, brings it up so she's looking at Buffy.

"She's gone, Faith" Buffy says quietly, " I'm not her. She's gone. You gotta accept that" Buffy says, firmly.

" I know" Faith says, quietly, morosely, " I know". She struggles to look down, but Buffy won't let her.

" Thing is, Faith?" Buffy says, and she knows this is going to get a reaction, " She was an idiot!"

"WHAT!!!!????!!!!" Faith growls, her face flushing crimson, " How dare you! You don't know anything about her! How dare you?" She struggles against Buffy, but Buffy's not having any of it.

" You're right, Faith. I don't know her. But I know this. If she was so damned blind to not see how much you loved her, how much… you adored her, she was the biggest moron this planet ever had!" Buffy says, vehemently.

Faith looks at her, shocked.

" I'm not her. I know that" Buffy says, fervently, " but I wish… god I wish I was her. To have someone love me like you do her? But if I was her, I'd want to see you as I see you now! " Buffy lets go of Faith, and stands up. " God, I know it's been hard on you, Faith. I can see that. But it's been hard on me too!" Buffy turns back to Faith, and kneels by her. " I'm… I don't know who I am, what I'm supposed to be. But I know what I'm feeling. What I've been feeling. Since I came back, I've been feeling these feelings that scared me. Cuz I shouldn't feel them, but I do . About you. I feel this junk, and it's not right, cause I don't know you, but I feel it. Here! " Buffy points at her heart, " All this stuff whirling in me , scaring me silly. I don't… oh forget this, enough talk!" With that, she moves to Faith, and before Faith can react, grabs her, pulls her close and kisses her.

Faith struggles against her, but Buffy holds her tight. Gradually, Faith stops struggling. Then her arms go around Buffy, and pull her tighter to her. The kiss lingers… and lingers. Finally, they break to breathe. They look at each other. Faith is shocked and bemused. Buffy is amazed and her heart is thumping like a hammer in her chest.

"What?" Faith asks, bewildered, but definitely liking it, "What?"

" Too much talk. Just kiss me, stupid" Buffy says, pulling Faith into another kiss.

By mutual silent consent, they sort of fall over, laying side by side. They move closer, pulling each other closer. The kiss goes on, getting more needy and passionate. They are lost in their own little world.

" Awww, now aint that just the sweetest thing you ever did see?" The voice drifted over them, startling them. They break apart, and see a few figures surrounding them.

" Yeah, and they're so cute, too" The second vampire says. " Hey, I always wondered something?"

"What's that?" The first vampire asks.

" Well… always wondered if lesbo blood tasted any different ? Ya know, I surely like to find out!"

By this time, Buffy and Faith are on their feet… they start to back away, but a third vampire stops them.

" Now, girls" the vampire says, " Wouldn't be sporting to leave the party before my friend here" the third vampire indicates the second one," Has a chance to find out, don't you think?"

"Well, Gomer" Faith says, her voice getting an edge, " I really hate to be a spoilsport, but I got other things to do". With that, she brings her booted foot down, hard, on the vampire's foot. Buffy follows suit, and the vampire screams in agony. The scream gets louder when Faith brings her foot up between his legs, hard. He bends over, just in time to get a knee to his face, and a stake to his back. He dissolves.

Buffy panics. She runs away… but in the wrong direction…right into vamps 1 and 2. They grab her, and she screams. "FAITH!"

Faith runs towards the other vampires, but they turn and run, not wanting to confront the slayer. They take Buffy with them. Faith, pissed off, pulls a stake out, and throws it…. And hits number 2, turning him into Hoover material. The first vamp, thrown off by suddenly losing his partner, who was also holding Buffy, wobbles, releasing Buffy, who runs like hell… as far as she can get. Faith catches up to vamp one, and roundhouse kicks him in the butt, sending him face first into the ground.

But Faith doesn't stake him. After the emotional roller coaster she's been on this evening, she's out of control. She starts to kick him, beat on him. She wants blood, because he nearly took Buffy away from her… again! She goes to town on him, her fists and feet moving like a blur, pounding him to a pulp.

Buffy, scared , watches from behind a tall headstone, at a safe distance. She watches Faith with fascination, and a touch of horror. Fascination with how fast she moves, how she seems to be a fighting machine, never tiring. A little horrified, because Faith seems to be taking pleasure(_no, that can't be right…_) ,or something, from beating this vampire to a pulp. She's never seen Faith so … violent before. She just staked the other vampires, but this one… she closes her eyes, not wanting to watch anymore.

Faith finally tires of playing with the vampire, and stakes him. In her rage, she forgot all about Buffy, and now is scared she wandered off, getting herself into more trouble. _ I can't get used to the idea of a helpless Buffy. Dammit, I'm an idiot… she could be anywhere… or getting attacked by other vamps. Why can't I keep my mind on what the hell I'm doing? Shit, shit, shit! Where is she?_

"Buffy? BUFFEE?" Faith calls out, looking around for the little blonde woman. " Buffy, it's ok. You can come out, it's safe now!"

Buffy cowers behind the headstone, her face reflecting her shock. Up until now, she had no idea Faith was capable of such rage, such violence. It scared her a little to think that a not that long ago, Faith was holding her in her arms, kissing her passionately . _What if she lost control… with me? Would I look like that vampire?_ The thought gives her a major chill. _Was I wrong about Faith? What if she got angry with me… really angry. Would she go off on me? No, that can't be right. She… God I gotta think. _

" Buffy… BUFFEEE Please" Faith calls out, starting to feel the icy strings of panic wrapping around her heart. _Dammit. If anything happened to her while I was goin' postal on that vamp… damn. _" Buffy…please, answer me!" Faith starts trotting, hoping to catch a glimpse of her.

Buffy, in the meantime, seeing Faith move off, starts off herself in a different direction. She just wants to get home now, think this over. _Maybe I did something…something to break her. I only kissed her… but what if she's so upset about losing the other 'Buffy' that it triggered something bad in her? Shit, this is so not good. I don't want to hurt her… and I don't want to get hurt, either. It was just a kiss, for Christ's sake… just a stupid kiss. Damn me, I gotta…damn… _ she starts to run.

Faith, sensing movement behind her, whirls around, in time to see Buffy running off . " Buffy! BUFFY! Wait… wait up!". But Buffy, hearing her calling, only starts to run faster. Faith, thinking Buffy is in blind panic, kicks in her run, and starts to close the gap between them. " Buffy… Buffy! It's ok, it's just me!" Faith calls out, trying to get her to stop. _Damn, she doesn't hear me! _

Buffy almost makes it to the cemetery gates. About 20 yards away, she's running and doesn't see the low marker. She trips, going head over heels and falling on her back. She lays there, stunned.

Faith finally catches up to her. She kneels by Buffy, checking to see if she's ok. Buffy rouses, sees Faith, and starts to back away, covering herself with her arms. She backs away, sliding back across the grass.

"Please… please don't hurt me" Buffy says, her voice panicky.

"Buffy?" Faith says, soothingly, trying to calm her. " It's ok, it's me, Faith. You're safe. It's ok…"

"I saw you. You… you … demolished that vampire, you weren't trying to kill it… you were beating it to a pulp. You… you … were enjoying it… god, what got into you?" Buffy says, looking for an escape. She gets on her feet, and tries to feint Faith, hoping to get around her. Faith just flows with her, blocking her exit. Buffy backs away, scared.

"Buffy, Buffy, " Faith says, quietly, gently, trying to calm her down, reassure her. " Honey, I'd never hurt you!" She advances slowly, non-threateningly on Buffy, trying to keep from panicking her again, " Buffy, it's ok. Look at me. Stop, I won't hurt you, I promise!"

Buffy is torn. She's come to know, or think she knows, Faith. Strong, tough and brave, but gentle and sweet, too. She knows that somewhere, she's beginning to fall for the dark haired woman. But… seeing her so… out of control has scared her. She doesn't know what to do, and she's paralyzed. She makes a soft mewling whimper, and her fear and anguish take over. She starts to cry , standing stock still.

Faith comes to her, and puts her arms around Buffy. Buffy cringes, as if afraid she's next on the hit parade. Faith just holds her, trying to allay her fear.

"It's ok, Buffy," Faith says softly, " it's ok. I won't… won't ever hurt you" . She rubs Buffy's back, and holds her as the smaller woman shivers in fear in her arms. She continues, " I'm sorry, honey. I just got so… upset, thinking that … monster would hurt you, kill you. I lost control." Buffy, feeling the warmth of Faith's arms, the soothing softness of her words and actions, slowly relaxes into Faith's embrace. Faith holds her, and says, " I promise, Buffy, that'll never happen again. I just got so scared, thinking I'd lose you. Forgive me, please?"

Buffy looks up at Faith, seeing the sorrow and concern in her eyes. She says quietly, " I… I'm such a coward. I got scared, and when I saw you…get all postal on that vamp, I just lost it… I… I'm sorry. God, I hate this place. Can we go home now? Please?"

" Of course, " Faith says, gently releasing Buffy and turning to walk towards home. Buffy makes a small, mewling sound, and Faith turns back. " What is it?"

" Please… hold me? Til we get home? I just need… I…please?" Buffy says. Faith sees the fear in Buffy's eyes. She puts her arm around Buffy, and they start to walk back to the house. Buffy slips her arm around Faith's waist, and leans against her.

_I gotta start controlling my temper. God, I never want her to… fear me._ Faith sighs, _ Good one, Faith. It seems things were just starting to come together… maybe there would be something between us again( God, did she really jump ME? That is so… Un-Buffy! Or maybe, that's this Buffy… and I gotta see that this Buffy is the one I'm gonna …love? Yeah…I think so, I really think so._

Faith realizes , as they're walking home, that big changes are happening in her life. That she's gotta make changes to herself, how she thinks about herself, and how she thinks about Buffy. _ This isn't the old Buffy. I'll… never see her again…not completely. Even if she gets her memories back, she's changed. I'm gonna have to win her all over again. But somehow, I want to. I really want to! I gotta change, be more… out there. I gotta family to look after now. A family!_

Faith is almost giddy at the thought. A family.

Her family!

* * *

To be continued.


	10. Chapter 10

**Timeless Faith**

By Norwalker

Part 10 of ?

Rating : R for language, sexual situations and violence.

Category: Romance/Angst/Drama

Disclaimer: Most, if not all of the characters depicted here are the property of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, Inc. and Fox. This is a work of fiction; any similarities to anyone living or dead are purely coincidental.

Summary: Third in a series of stories started with " Summer of faith" and continued in "Seasons of faith". In the last book, Buffy died fighting Glorificus, the Hell goddess. This book picks up where that book ended. How does Faith deal with the loss of Buffy? How does life change for the scoobies? Buffy will be with them always, but is there more to it than just memories? Stay tuned.

Spoilers: Possible season 6 and season 7 spoilers. Hope you've watched them by now.

Timeline: Season 6, maybe season 7 and beyond( don't know yet).

WARNING: **_There is always the possibility of major character death_**. Romance between members of the same gender(duh). Sexual situations between members of the same gender. This is an _Alternate Universe_ (AU) story. The real(by the series 'coda' ) relationship between Buffy and Faith never happened here. So if you're looking for the dark, knife wielding, don't give a crap about nothing but me Faith, She's not here.(ok, bit of an exaggeration, as we all know by now that Faith redeemed herself, but the "dark, evil" Faith never got a chance to live here). Violence happens. Adult themes( someday, I plan on being one, too). Sexual situations. All the usual stuff.

* * *

" Awww… Poop!"

" It's alright, Buffy" Giles says, encouragingly, " You're making good progress"

" I am not!" Buffy says, pouting, " I'm just a big , clumsy poopyhead!".

Buffy walked away from Giles, feeling discouraged. They've been training together for the last month now, and Buffy feels she's as awkward and ungraceful as when they started. She has the strength; she has the speed. It's just when she tries to put them together, everything goes whacko. _Slayer powers my butt. That must be where they're located, cuz I keep landing on it. Damn I keep missing the target, my hands and feet get all tangled up, and I fall on my butt. All the damned time. At least I'm not hitting Giles on the chin anymore. First time we did the padded gloves, I missed so bad I knocked him out. Geeze, I'm hopeless. Where's all these " _Slayer powers_" they keep saying I got. I got strength, ok, that I can see. But I'm like a total klutz. I can just see it, at the Slayer convention, when they're handing out all the awards and stuff… Faith'll walk off with the good stuff, and I'll get the " Klutzy Slayer of the Year" award. Yay me, Go me!_

"Come on, Buffy, you have to try again" Giles says, patiently, " I know it's not going like you thought, but you're really getting better," He smiles at her, " now, lets try the kicks again. "

Buffy mumbles something not too kind under her breath, and walks up to the dummy. She backs off a little, and starts doing some simple kicks. She hits the dummy, without sending it flying. Encouraged, she tries a roundhouse kick. Score. She gets happier, and starts a series of roundhouse kicks , one after another…she's doing fine, until she goes a bit too fast, and her legs get tangled up. She falls on the floor, hard, on her butt.

" Poop. This is just stupid" She whines, " I'll never get this stuff!" She gets up, brushing herself off. She glares at the dummy, like it's the dummy's fault… he tripped her!

" Buffy, you're being too hard on yourself," Giles says, mildly, " You're thinking that you're going to make a mistake, and then you do. You're thinking too much about it. Just let go, and let your body take you to it. You've got the basics, just trust yourself to do it."

Buffy shakes herself out, trying to get rid of the tension. She starts kicking again, this time just letting her rhythm flow. She starts out with some simple kicks, nothing too fancy, just to get her warmed up. Then, she moves on to more complex kicks. She does an axe-wheel ,then spins off, into a roundhouse. She does a back flip, landing on the balls of her feet. She pushes off into a flying hook, and after contact does a full back cartwheel. Moving forward, she does a K-kick, which knocks the dummy off the stand. It lies on it's back, and when she lands, she runs to it, kneeling, and raises a stake. She looks to Giles for approval.

" Much better, " Giles says, smiling, " Very good"

"Yay me !" Buffy says, excitedly. She does a little hopping victory dance, feeling good about herself. She dances over to the prone dummy, and does a few kicks on it as if saying " Don't mess with me, vamp". She picks up the dummy, and hangs it back on its support frame.

" Are we done?" Buffy says, hopefully. Some things never change, and Buffy still is not loving training regimens.

" Well, I think we're done with hand –to – hand ," Giles says agreeably, " But I think you need to put some time in on weapons".

"Awww…." Buffy says, the whine coming back in her voice, " Me and weapons… totally sucky. Do I have to?" She looks at Giles with big eyes.

" All the more reason to work on your skills" Giles says firmly._ Bloody hell wish she wouldn't do that eye thing._" Best we start with knives."****

Buffy makes a semi-rude impatient noise, and like a child that has to do something she hates, she stomps to the weapons locker. She picks out some really vicious looking knives.

Giles watches her as she starts to set up for target practice with the knives. He's concerned about her. She's capable of doing well… he can see she has the ability and strength. But something just isn't clicking._ At least her love of training hasn't changed _Giles thinks as Buffy starts throwing the knives at the target. _She'd still rather be doing something… anything… else._

" DAMN!" Buffy shouts, upset. She missed the target again. " This is so bogus, Giles." She turns to look at him.

" Just relax, Buffy , and concentrate. Narrow your focus on the target, and don't forget to follow through" Giles says.

He watches with a small frown of concentration on his own face. _She's not concentrating, but it's more than that. I can understand, trying to absorb all she has to learn, and dealing with who she is, and how she reacts to her friends… that can be distracting for her. But it's more. More than just the missing memories. She's missing something else. But what is it? _ He watches as she readies to try again. He sees that she looks at the knife, then at the target, then back at the knife. Her brow is furrowed, and she has an unhappy expression on her face._ It's almost as if she's afraid of the weapons. Or afraid of herself. She's lacking a confidence she used to have. Likes she's struggling to remember what she knows, rather than just trusting herself to know. She lacks a flow, because she can't stop thinking about the next step. It's so different than how she used to be. She used to just pick up a weapon, and could suss it out and use it very quickly. Now each new thing seems to be a struggle for her. Like she just won't trust herself to understand it._

"Ok, Buffy… pick up the knives and have another go at it" Giles says. The look of disappointment is plain on her face, but she obediently goes for the knives to do another round. She sets herself in front of the target, and starts throwing again, doing better this time.

"Good, Buffy" Giles says, praising her, " that's it, don't think to much about the target, just let the knife flow evenly from your hand". _This has all been so very difficult for her. She feels like she has to be back to normal… yesterday. No one is pressuring her, but she's putting all this pressure on herself. She's gotten it into her head that if she doesn't hurry up and be perfect at everything, she's letting us all down. That's silly, of course, but she can be awfully stubborn… just like she used to be. The truth of the matter being that she's doing remarkably well. Considering the scope of her loss, she's coping admirably. But she is so hard on herself, giving herself no quarter for mistakes. Even the tiniest thing seems to upset her. Like for instance, she made a Peanut butter and jelly sandwich for Dawn(God, what these Americans eat!), but she forgot that Dawn prefers the smooth peanut butter, and made it with the crunchy. Dawn tried to tell her it was ok, it was just fine. But she insisted on doing it again, tossing the old sandwich and making a new one with the smooth stuff. And she was upset with herself for half an hour after, because she forgot that one silly little thing._

_I wish I could find something to help restore her memory. I know how much more comfortable she'd be. But my researches have turned up a blank. There are plenty on spells for forgetting, but remembering seems to be untapped. That's odd, you'd think there would be lots about it; surely there have been lots of instances when someone wanted to remember things. But evidently, it just wasn't something popular. I haven't checked with the dark magicks, but I really don't want to go there. Enough damage has been done using them._

Giles is interrupted in his reveries when a hand comes down on his shoulder. Startled, he turns to see the Faith standing next to him, smirking a little.

"Hey, G" , She says softly, " for a watcher you kinda not keeping too good a watch", she teases him.

" Yes, well, concentrating on Buffy's performance" Giles says, covering over his woolgathering.

"How is our little student doing?" Faith asks…then winces when Buffy misses an easy throw.

" She's getting better, " Giles says , trying to be positive. Buffy misses another throw, and curses. He goes on, " Unfortunately, she still seems to be struggling somewhat."

" Yeah, I can see. That last throw was just… sad" Faith says, watching Buffy. Buffy gamely goes to collect the knives, to do another round, but you'd have to be blind to see she's not happy with her performance. " She's sticking with it though, right G?" Faith queries.

" Oh yes, " Giles says, " She works at it. Hard. But…." He watches as Buffy starts to toss the knives again. " Have you taken her out on patrol yet?".

" Been kinda not doing that, " Faith says, in reply, " You think she's ready?". Her own expression betrays her doubts.

" I think it would be a good thing, " Giles says, " She's been training a lot, but not had any practical use for what she's learning. I believe she'll do better if she actually puts some of the theory to use."

" Well, if you think so" Faith says, her tone still carrying an edge of hesitation. Giles looks at her, wondering if she's holding back something he should know. She pats his arm reassuringly, " No… I'm sure she'll do fine…do fine, " Faith says…and watches as Buffy throws, hitting the target dead on. She smiles, " Anyway, I'll watch over her, be sure she's ok."

" She's lucky to have you, you know, " Giles says, as he watches Buffy train.

" Yeah… whatever, " Faith says, never one to take compliments well. She's looking at him with that " I'm not an idiot…don't give me no B.S. " look.

" No, I mean it, " He says, turning to her and seeing the look, " really. She's lucky she has you to look out after her. " He smiles at Faith. She shakes her head as if to dismiss his words. " Look, Faith, " Giles confesses, " I'll admit I wasn't too happy when you came into her life a few years back. I thought it would be unnecessarily distracting for her. I didn't know you at the time, and I thought you were just in it for fun," he pauses, working out what he wants to say, " I was wrong. I've seen how loyal you've been to her, even when she was less than kind to you. I've seen how you've encouraged and supported her, letting her know you'd always be in her corner. Even after she came back, " Giles continues, " you stuck with her. Though she didn't remember anything about you. A lot of people would've given it up as a bad job, and moved on." Faith feels a twinge of guilt, knowing how close she came to moving out not all that long ago, " but you stuck the course, Faith. You've been really good for her. She's lucky, and I am too, having you here". He pats her affectionately on the shoulder.

Faith's staring out, feeling a flush creep up her neck. She's never been one to take compliments well. She's always waiting for the other shoe to drop. She looks at him, expecting to see he's only joking, but she sees him looking at her with caring and affection. She blushes, and turns away. She's not used to this; someone caring about her for no other reason but that she's herself. She makes a dismissive noise, as if it doesn't mean jack to her, but she's nearly glowing inside. It really matters that Giles thinks highly of her. She changes the focus, calling out to Buffy

"Hey, Buffy, you're doin' great!" Faith says, just as Buffy manages to hit another bulls eye.

" Liar!" Buffy says, but affectionately. She turns to Faith, and grins, " Guess I'm not doin' too badly". Without looking, she throws another knife…which again hits dead center. She gets a apologetic look on her face, anticipating disaster…then she looks, sees where the knife went, and gets a "Whoa" look. She jumps up and down, excitedly.

" Did you see that? Did you see that?" She cries, thrilled. She realizes she's acting like a kid, and puts on a layer of cool, " I mean" she clears her throat, " just the usual ". But she can't keep quite keep the excitement out of her voice.

Faith looks at her, doing her best to not grin like an idiot. She loves seeing Buffy feel so triumphant. Lately she's been all upset with herself because she's not doing everything perfectly. Seeing her so enthusiastic, even over a silly knife toss in training, warms Faith's heart. She's beginning to realize she's falling in love with Buffy all over again. She may be feeling just a tiny bit wary of that. A whole lot confused about that. _Not like I'm cheating on her… with her. Is it? I mean, it's…her…and not her. She's different, but so many of the things I loved … do love… about her are the same. I feel so weird about it all… it like cheating on your lover with her. That makes no sense at all… but none of this does. It's so weird. Sometimes she acts grown up and reasonable, other times she acts younger than Dawn. Buffy was never like that… well, I mean, she never acted so enthusiastic about much. She was determined, and she was cool, and she was smart… but sometimes she seemed so… serious all the time. Whoa, girl… this is Buffy you're talking about, the love of your life…and the same woman that's standing there holding knives. It's like you took Buffy, stripped away some of the many layers of sophistication and pain she built up into a shell, and this is who you have. I dunno… I dunno anything. God, this is too much for my head!!!!_

" So, Giles, does she always do this?" Buffy was saying when Faith starts to tune back into the training room.

" I'm sorry" Giles says, looking bewildered, " I'm afraid I don't know what you mean."

"Faith, " Buffy says, her tone a little on the ironic side, " Does she always just kinda space out for no reason?"

" You wish, Blondie" Faith says, a little embarrassed at getting caught.

" Yeah, well… been trying to get your attention, " Buffy says, " so what ya thinkin' about, huh?".

" And that would be your business because… ?" Faith asks.

" Because. " Buffy says, adopting a lilting, teasing tone," because you were thinking about me. How cute I am, and how sexy I am, and how you wanna date me, and…." She watches as Faith goes a little pink, and laughs.

Faith is so confused. _ God , that is so NOT Buffy. Buffy would never flirt openly like that… not around Giles. Not in the 'workplace' so to speak. It's not like anything she'd do… so why am I just so eating it up?_

" I'm thinking of how I'm gonna protect your ass when we go out on patrol" Faith growls, not letting Buffy get away with it.

" Patrol?" Buffy says, looking at Faith. She looks at Giles and repeats, " Patrol?" Her face looks worried.

" Yeah, 'bout time you got off your butt and see if you can pull your own weight, Blondie" Faith says, teasingly. Turn about can be so fun, " Don't worry. I'll be there to cover ya if the boogums come for ya".

Buffy makes a face. "Puh-lease, " She says, full of false bravado, " I can so handle myself. Just wonderin' if I'm really ready?" She looks at Giles. _Don't make me do this, please, please, don't make me do this!_

" I think you're ready, Buffy, " Giles says, trying to allay her concerns." You've come a long way in your training, but you really need to go out and get some field time now. All the training in the world isn't going to do you any good if you don't put it to use."

"Well, I guess if you say so, " Buffy replies, putting on a big grin. Inside, she's not feeling so good about it. _ I'm so not ready. I know I'm gonna mess up, make a big botch of things, and then they're gonna know I'm a fraud. I'll blow it, then they'll know that I'm not her. They'll know, and they won't like me anymore. They want her, I know it. I'm trying so hard to be her… but it's tough. I forget things, I screw things up. Now it's really gonna be out there. I'm just a dumb klutz, and once Faith realizes that, she's not gonna want to be with me no more. She's gonna know I'm not her "B". I'm just some fraud trying to be. Cuz I love her, and … she loves that other one. Damn her! Why won't she just let that other one go? Why won't she just like me as I am? I hate this so much, cuz I'm talking like it's a whole different woman. I know it's not, it's me. That's who I used to be. Everybody acts like she was some kinda goddess or something. But hey, I'm right here! I'm pretty damned good too. If you'd only look!_

" Buffy? You ok?" Faith asks solicitously, noticing Buffy seems distracted.

" Oh? Huh? Oh yeah, I'm great" Buffy smiles, " Just great".

" Ok then, so … ummm… guess we go home, get some dinner, then we can go patrolling." Faith says.

" What about Dawn?" Buffy says, brightening. Maybe she's found an out, " Who's gonna watch Dawn?"

" Buffy, c'mon. Dawn's fifteen. She can handle herself. She has my cell number if there's a problem," Faith says, looking at Buffy with an odd expression, " You sure you're ok? I mean, we don't have to do this."

" Oh…fine, I'm great" Buffy says, " I want to do this. Get out there. Slay the vamps, ya know? It's my calling, right?"

" Yeah," Faith says, her tone a little doubtful, " But if you're not ready… ".

" No, I'm so ready!" Buffy says._Oh, yeah, just so ready!_

" You're sure?" Faith asks, again.   
" Yes, I'm sure!" Buffy snaps, a little irritated, " I'm gonna do fine, ok?"

" 'K, Buffy. It'll be great, " Faith says, smiling to encourage her.

_Oh yeah_

_Great!  
_

* * *

Tara lay beside Willow, watching her sleep. She was worried, and she didn't understand why.

Since they'd moved out from Buffy's , things had really changed. Willow had taken a 180 in their relationship, becoming very attentive and supportive of Tara. She apologized to Tara, saying she'd been so caught up in bringing back Buffy, then trying to make it all like it was. She hadn't really been paying attention to the most important person in her life… Tara. But she was going to make it up to her now, if Tara would let her.

" I was so stupid, Tara" Will says, " I thought I had the answers for everything. I knew how to make it all better. But I just messed it up. I just brought Buffy back wrong. I was full of myself, and I didn't pay enough attention to what you were telling me." Willow got up from the bed, and went to the window, and looked out. " Now, I've really screwed it up. I've kinda cut us off, Tara. I shouldn't have tried to use magic to fix things. Some things, you just can't fix".

" But you meant well, Willow" Tara says, " Your intentions were good. You wanted everybody to be happy again. There's nothing wrong with that. Just…."

"What, Tara?" Willow says.

"Well… It's just we…and I'm including myself in this, we shouldn't have messed with the dark magicks. " Tara says, feeling a little guilty, " They're dangerous. And they always have consequences. No telling what we've done."

" Tara, you weren't at fault, I was, " Willow says, " Whatever happens, it was my fault. You and Xander and Anya just went along cuz I convinced you. but you didn't do anything wrong." Willow looks away. She doesn't want to reveal anything about what she knows.

" Willow, I'm an adult. I knew the risks," Tara says, " I knew there would be consequences. It's not only your fault."

" No, Tara, you only went along cuz I told you it was safe," Willow says, a small edge to her voice, " I wanted so much to be the hero, to make it alright for everyone, that pushed you into it. You tried to stop me, but I didn't pay attention. I … dismissed your objections. You didn't want to upset me, so you went along."

" Willow, you weren't the only one that had ulterior motives, " Tara says, " I knew you wouldn't be rid of this Buffy obsession until I let you do this spell. I was… sick of Buffy. Sick of how she seemed to have a hold on you, even beyond the grave. It hurt, Willow, it really did."

" Oh , God, Tara" Willow cried, coming over to Tara, sitting next to her and putting her arm around Tara's shoulders, " I know I went to far, but you can't blame Buffy… or yourself. It was my fault for letting myself get all twisted around." Willow turns to her, taking Tara's chin in her hand, turning her face towards Willows. " I'm so sorry I hurt you honey. I never…wanted that. Not in a million years did I want to hurt you."

" I know, Willow, I know" Tara says, taking Willow in her arms and holding her tightly. They stay like that for awhile, each just wanting to share the moment, not let it end. Finally, Tara continues, " What're we going to do about Buffy?".

" I don't think there's anything we can do, Tara, " Willow says, quietly, " I've done tons of research, and I've not been able to find a memory restoration spell. Lots and lots of forget spells. Seems everybody wants forget something, " Willow wishes she could forget, " All we can do is be there, if Buffy or Faith need us. Otherwise, I guess we just have to leave them alone."

Tara almost can't believe what she's hearing. Something happened the night they decided to move out. Something between Willow and Giles. Willow has been avoiding Giles ever since that night. Now her attitude towards Buffy and Faith and her role in their lives has changed radically. There's something Willow isn't telling her.

" Willow, is everything ok? I mean… this is just so different from just last week. Is there something you're not telling me?" Tara asks, wanting to help.

"No, nothing, " Willow says, firmly, " Nothing at all." She changes the subject, " lets just go to bed."

Tara knew something was wrong. They had that discussion three weeks ago, and she hadn't said anything, but she could tell Willow was hiding something. She could feel a sadness surrounding Willow, as if she were mourning something. Every time she tried to talk about it, Willow just kind of veered away from it, diverting the conversation to something else. When Tara tried to come back to it, Willow would just shut it down, insisting everything was alright.

But everything wasn't alright. Willow wasn't Willow anymore. She seemed to have lost her interest in magic. She never suggested the practice spells anymore. If Tara wanted to try something, Willow would help, but she avoided initiating anything new herself. This worried Tara, because she knew Willow loved to do spells… even simple spells like glamours or floating small objects. It was almost as if she were afraid of doing spells.

Something happened between Giles and Willow, I know it. All this traces back to that night they spent so long in the kitchen. When Willow came out from the kitchen, she was pale. When I asked her about it, she just passed it off as being tired, and went to bed. But she's been different since that night. She won't talk about what she and Giles discussed. I wish she would, wish she'd share whatever it was with me. I can't help her if I don't know what's going on. But I can't force her to tell me, either. All I can do is try to talk to Mr. Giles, see if he'll tell me.

Tara lay awake, staring at the ceiling. She knew she wouldn't be getting much sleep tonight.

Or any night, until she knew.

* * *

She stood by the grave marker, waiting.

It was an early winter night in California, cool but not especially cold. Still, she was glad she'd brought her jacket, as the air had a bit of a nip to it. The moon, full and bright, gave the cemetery a particularly surreal look. Everything seemed to be a silhouette, an illusion of something rather than the real thing. It was almost as if you walked towards something, it would shimmer and fade away, only being an illusion, not real. She shivered a little bit, not from the cold. Everything right now felt that way to her.

Faith knelt by the stone. She was waiting for Buffy. They'd planned on going out on this patrol together, but at the last moment, Buffy told her she had something to do, something she had to do now. And that she'd meet her here. By this stone. Faith traced the name on the stone with her fingertip: Joyce Summers. Faith had brought Buffy out here a few times since she was back. She'd hoped that Buffy's memories might be jogged. She knew that the memories may never come back, but still she wanted to try. Although she was growing more and more fond of Buffy… the new Buffy, she still loved the old Buffy. And she felt that Buffy…the new one… was cheated , somehow, not having those memories. Especially of her mom, who in Faith's opinion, had been a very special woman.

Hey, Joyce. I know, been a long time since I've been here. What with Glory trying to make the world a better place…for demons, and then Buffy dying…and taking care of the P-nut, guess I… Will you listen to me? Sounding like you're really here and care. Kinda dufus of me, I know. But … damn I could really, really use you to listen to me 'bout now. Guess that's why I loved ya, Joyce. Well, one of the reasons, anyway. You always made time to listen to me and my dopey problems, no matter how stupid they were, or how busy you were. I always felt better after talking to you, even if I didn't like the answer you gave me, or if you couldn't give me an answer at all. I guess it was knowin' ya cared an all. So, guess I'm gonna bend your ear one more time. I know ya got better things to do… God probably put you in charge running things around there, but hope ya'll give me a few moments anyway.

I really don't know what to do here, Joyce. Kinda all mixed up, and not really thinking too straight here. Guess that's nothin' new huh? Especially when it comes to Buffy. Faith grins, remembering how many times she ran to Joyce when Buffy made her nuts. Thing is, Mrs. S, is that even if you were here, not sure you could help me with this one. Not sure anybody can help me. It's so damned weird. And stupid. I mean, if you think about it, it's totally stupid. But I'm kinda torn up about it, don't know what to do.

You know I love Buffy. God, I love her so much, she's part of me. Does that make sense? I mean, she's like my blood, or my breath, or something vital to me living. That's how much I love her. Loved her. She was my everything. When she died, I felt a whole big piece of me died, too. It felt like someone took a knife and ripped out vital bits of me, it hurt so much. It left me feeling numb and dead and all achy bad inside. Only thing kept me goin' was takin' care of the P-nut. She misses ya, by the way. Misses her mom real bad. I can so get that! I just hope I aint been screwin' her up too badly. But I kinda feel you're there helpin' me with that.

Anyway, Red tried to bring Buffy back. She did some of that hocus- pocus stuff she does, and did bring her back… sorta. Ok, ok I know I shouldn't have been so hard on Red. I know she had good intentions, and all. But that ooglie-booglie stuff always makes me nervous, and … well… she kinda screwed up. She brought her back, but it wasn't the Buffy that was your baby… or my honey. I mean she looks like Buffy, and talks like her, and some of the things she does is so much like Buffy it's eerie. She reacts to things a lot like Buffy would… some stuff… other stuff, it's all different. And upstairs, where it counts? She doesn't remember anything. She don't remember you, or me, or the P-nut, or Red, or Tara or anyone. It's likes someone reached into her brain and messed around with it, throwin' out a lot of the important stuff… the stuff that made Buffy- - Buffy. Man, it's been torture to look at her in the morning, look into the beautiful eyes of her, and realize that all the stuff we been through together, all the stuff we meant to each other, is just gone. It's almost worse than when she was gone.

She's been 'back' over a month now, and here's where it gets weird. Ya sittin' down up there? Some nice comfy cloud? Hopin' so. Anyway, thing is… I'm kinda fallin' for her again. I guess that'd be natural, huh? Cuz it's Buffy, even if it isn't 'our' Buffy. I mean, I knew almost from the first, when I met her in L. A. she was somethin' special. Didn't take a whole long time for me to know she was special, very special, to me. We've had our ups, and our way downs, and all. We fought lots, and sometimes came near to leavin' again… too many times, really. But through it all, she was my everything, my love, my joy, my heart. I never ever want no one else. So what's the problem? Well, here's this 'new' Buffy. She looks like Buffy, talks like her, smells like her, acts a lot like her. But, she's not her, doesn't have a lot of the stuff Buffy was. And… the way I'm startin' to feel, it's like I'm cheating on Buffy. With Buffy. Now, aint that weird?

It's stupid, I know. I mean, how can I cheat on Buffy with Buffy? But it's not MY Buffy. It's not the Buffy I've lived with and loved and shouted at and wanted to bean and wanted to kiss til I died Buffy. She's different. The same but different. God, this is so fucking confusing. It shouldn't be this confusing, should it? But it is .If I even casually touch her, I feel like I'm betraying the Buffy I knew. That's stupid thinking, but I can't help it. I know the Buffy I knew, the Buffy I adored, is gone. Gone for good. So I shouldn't be so weirded out. Afraid. But I'm afraid, big time. Cuz even getting past the feeling of cheating on Buffy… what if this stuff I'm starting to feel, this stuff… is just me? Trying to get back what I lost? What if she… new Buffy… doesn't feel the same way? I'm sensing she's feeling something, but it could just be friendship. Or something like that. So what if I put my heart out there, and she steps on it. Not meaning to, don't think she'd hurt me deliberately, but what if she doesn't want me like that? God, I'd … it'd be like losing Buffy twice. Don't think… no, I know I couldn't handle it. So, Mrs. S, you're so much better at this stuff than me. What do I do?

Faith sits silent in her mind, just looking at the stone. Almost as if she's expecting an answer. She's so wrapped up in it, that when the hand touches her shoulder, she nearly jumps out of her skin. She's up on her feet in a flash, and whirls around, stake in hand pointing towards…. Buffy. Buffy, who's looking a little more than scared at the moment, who has her hands in the air and is backing away.

"Faith. It's me…it's just ME!" Buffy says, fearfully. " Sorry! Sorry, didn't mean to startle you!"

"Buffy!" Faith says, aggravated, " What the hell? Don't you know better than to sneak up on someone at night in a cemetery? God, you coulda gotten yourself killed!".

" God, Faith, I'm so sorry" Buffy says, regretfully, " I… I didn't think .So stupid. I'm so stupid! Please, please don't be angry at me, ok?"

Faith looks at Buffy, and seeing her so distressed, feels her anger dissipate. She feels embarrassed snapping at her… not her fault, really. Faith just feels mortified, cuz of what she was thinking, and all of a sudden Buffy is just there. She was surprised and a little upset, almost like Buffy was eavesdropping on her thoughts. God that's so stupid!.

"It's ok, Buffy," Faith grumbles, "just be more careful, ok? Don't want ya to get hurt, is all".

"'K" Buffy says, quietly. She changes the topic, wanting to forget the little scene, " She was really important to you, wasn't she?" Buffy asks.

" Who?" Faith answers her question with a question.

" My mom, " Buffy says, pointing at the grave, " She was special to you."

" Oh yeah… Mrs. S? Oh yeah" Faith says, " She…well, I didn't have a mom. Lost my mom when I was real young. Never had a mom growin' up… let me tell ya, it totally sucks. But I didn't even know what I was missin' til I came here and met your mom. I mean, my dear old mom… well, she had lots of problems. Didn't really want me, ya know? Kinda drunk and high all the time… anyway, when I came here, you're mom… just kinda took over as my mom. God, she just made me feel like part of the family… and like it was natural and all. Ya know? She treated me like another daughter, and it was great. I mean…well, like the prom, for instance, I remember…." Faith stops. She knows that memories and things are painful for Buffy, because she can't remember any of this. " It's not important, we should get going…" Faith starts off, figuring to just let it drop.

" No…Faith? Please? Tell me? I mean… I … I can't remember her…and anything you can tell me is important" Buffy pleads. She really wants to know this stuff. Wishes she remembered it.

"Well… ummm … the prom. Yeah." Faith starts, trying to make it easier for Buffy to understand, " Thing was, it was kinda our 'coming out' , so to speak. We'd been together up to that time, but it'd never been like… public. So… it was a nervous night for both of us. I mean, I didn't mind us being a couple, but there was still the Angel thing. We'd kinda got past that… but it still was kinda there, though we'd finally resolved it. So anyway, I was all nervous that night, and I'd decided to wear a dress, even though I'd told you I was gonna do the 'butch' thing and wear a tux. So I was nervous about your reaction to that too. And I was kinda fluttering around, scared and all. Then Joyce… your mom… came in, and kinda had this box with her. She said she had a present for me. And when I opened it, it was … god, they were beautiful… it was a necklace and earrings. Her mom had given them to her on her prom, and … well, she wanted to hand them down to her daughter. But like, I said shouldn't Buffy have these? And she said, No, Buffy's got her own stuff she wants to wear… and I want you to have them, Faith. God, I … I got so all weepy… she had to kid me about my makeup to keep me from bawling like a baby, ya know? But they were so beautiful, and they just went so well with what I was wearing… but , thing is, that's just how she was…" Faith trails off, feeling the emotions rising. She also is remembering how Buffy looked that night. So beautiful, in her white floor length gown… she was like an angel, coming down those stairs… Faith turns away, afraid Buffy might see her tear up.

She turns back when she hears a small sob. Buffy is standing there, tears running down her face, her lip quivering. She's trying her best not to burst out crying.

"Buffy…what is it?" Faith says, coming over to the diminutive blonde slayer, " what's wrong?"

" Oh, God Faith I so wish I could remember her!" Buffy says, her voice cracking, " She sounds so wonderful. It's hell, not remembering." Faith feels her heart melting; Buffy looks so small and alone. She can't help feeling… God, I got it bad for her…again!!!!!!!

" Look, Buffy" Faith says, trying to comfort Buffy, " Look… I still have the necklace set. I got them in my room. I … you should have them. You know? It'd be something of hers, something personal, you can have. When we get home, I'll get them for ya, ok?"

" No… faith, no!" Buffy says, firmly, " She wanted you to have them. She gave them to you. It was important to her… and to me too. I want you to have them, ok?" Faith nods. Buffy goes on, " but, you could do something for me"

" Sure, Buffy, anything" Faith says

"Well…two things, actually, " Buffy says, quietly, " First, when you get time, could you sit with me and tell me more about mom? I'd… I'd really like to know her better. Could you do that for me?" Buffy asks.

" Of course, Buffy. I'd be happy to, " Faith says, " so, what's the second thing?"

" Well.. ummm… don't know how to ask this, " Buffy says, hesitantly, " but when I first…well… came back, you had a little nickname for me… "B". Thing was I got confused, cuz I thought you meant "Bea" like Beatrice. But … then you stopped calling me that… and I kinda… well, I thought it was kinda sweet…and I'm kinda missing it… so I was wondering…?"

Faith looks at Buffy, and is biting her lip. She feels weird again, and she doesn't want to upset her, but this is just too much to ask right now… so she thinks, anyway.

" Look, Buffy. I'm… well, please don't take this wrong. But… when you came back, I … well, I thought you were the 'other' Buffy… and well, "B" was a special little name I had for her… and… I know you're sorta her… but… well, I can't… not just now…don't be mad, but I just…." Faith trails off.

" No, no, I get it" Buffy says, a little disappointed, " No big… really."

" Give me time, ok? Please? I…" Faith starts, but Buffy interrupts her.

"No…forget it. Kinda stupid, " Buffy says, hiding her hurt, " I didn't think."

" Look, Buffy… I…." Faith says, then sees Buffy's face. She can tell that she's closed a tiny bit of herself off from Faith…first time she's seen that. It cuts Faith, just a little bit. She sighs, and changes tack. " Buffy, maybe we should just get to patrolling. That's what we're out here for. We gotta get you back up to snuff so you can start patrolling on your own again."

" By myself?" Buffy says, not liking that, " How come? I mean… I kinda…." Then she cuts it off. She senses something's changed, and it's not to the good.

"What Buffy?" Faith asks, her tone businesslike.

" Just… kinda like being with you… thought we could patrol together?" Buffy says, quietly.

" Yeah, well, Buffy, there's like 12 cemeteries in Sunnydale, never mind the parks and other places vamps like to hang. One slayer can't do it all in a night, " Faith says, retreating a bit into her shell, " Since there's two of us, we gotta split up the territory , so we have a chance to cover everything."

"Yeah, ok, I got it, " Buffy says, retreating a bit into her own shell, " So, lets get this done, ok?". Buffy starts off.

"Where you going, Buffy?" Faith asks.

"Ummm… this way?" Buffy replies, pointing in the direction she started off in.

" Look, for the first couple of nights, just follow my lead, ok?" Faith says, " You're still new at this. Kinda prefer I know where you are … don't want you rushing off, taking on more than you're ready for".

"Yeah… ok… don't worry. Not exactly hero type here, ok?" Buffy says, a little cross, " You lead, I'll follow, ok?"

" Ok, " Faith replies, curtly, " Let's go".

For the next hour or so, they do a sweep through a couple of cemeteries. The silence grows between them, each keeping to themselves. The only conversation is about slaying, and it's Faith doing the talking, mostly, pointing things out, telling Buffy some things she needs to know, what to look for, etc. For the most part, however, it's quiet… awkwardly quiet, between them. Both are on their own little islands of thought.

Smart, Buffy, really smart! Buffy thinks to herself. She's not ready… she's still mourning … me? God, that's just too weird. But you had to go and ask her to use the little pet name she had for her… me… god, I really getting to hate this!!! Grrr!!!

So what's the big, Faith? Faith chides herself, she only asked you to call her B. God, you act like it's some big deal. But it's not…is it? But that's MY Buffy's nickname… I … she… shit, this sucks. Faith, it's her. She may be acting different, but it's her. You gotta stop this… but… she might not… she doesn't want me that way… does she? She…she just wants to be buds, I'm sure. No, I don't wanna give her that name. It'll make it too fucking confusing. God, I hate this, I hate this I HATE THIS!!!!

"What's that?" Buffy asks, whispering. She grabs Faith's arm.

"What?" Faith asks, also whispering, but not knowing why.

" Listen!" Buffy says.

From inside the crypt next to them, Faith can hear some faint noises. She looks at Buffy, and tilts her head, indicating to follow her into the shadows.

" Sounds like the crypt has some visitors…and I'm so thinking they don't have heartbeats" Faith whispers, " Let's wait here for them to come out. That way, we got the drop on them, and aren't confined by the crypt". Buffy nods agreement.

Both blend back into the shadows, waiting for the vampires to appear. The adrenaline starts to pump inside them: this is their destiny, what they were born to do. After a few minutes, two rather large vampires appear, carrying stuff.

" Ready?" Faith whispers. Buffy nods." Ok, you got the guy on the right, I got the guy on the left, lets go"

" Hey, guys, " Faith calls out to the vamps, " grave robbing? Tsk tsk. It's so… tacky! Whatever is Ms. Manners gonna think?"

The vampires, startled, drop their loot and turn towards the slayers. They look, and a look of disbelief comes over them.

" What the hell? You two little girls lost? God, the both of you together hardly make a meal. Almost not worth the trouble to eat you… almost!" The vampires start towards the slayers.

" Hey, Bumpy face? Ever hear the term " Vampire Slayer?" Buffy calls out to 'her' vampire. He looks confused. "Ok, how about, " Oh god, my leg, my leg?" He looks even more confused. He starts at her, but she does a forward axe kick, hitting him on the thigh bone, cracking it. He goes down, screaming.

" Oh god, my leg, my leg!" He screams. Buffy just smiles, and runs in to put in the killing blow.

But he's not quite out of it yet. As she approaches, he swings his arm out, hitting her. She flies back from the force, hitting the wall of the crypt, a little stunned

" Buffy!" Faith calls out, distracted and worried. She starts towards Buffy, to see if she's ok, but her vampire grabs her and tosses her….throwing her over to his left. She twists and lands on her feet, ready for him. He runs towards her, ready to lunge, but she does a backwards kick, knocking back and on his butt.

Buffy, recovering from her blow, gets up, seeing her vampire trying to limp off. Oh, no you don't, butt ugly! She runs after him, stake raised. She figures she'll stake him in the back. But he senses her, and turns suddenly, thrusting out an arm, hitting her again. She's prepared, though, and does a half flip, coming down on her feet. She rushes in, but this time does a roundhouse kick on him, knocking him onto his bad leg. He screams, and tries to get up. But his leg is just too bad. He kicks out with his good leg, but the slayer just hops over it, and is on top of him. Buffy delivers the stake to the heart, and he dissolves into dust.

Faith, in the meantime, is having a bit of trouble with her vampire. He got up quickly, before she could get to him, so she punched him, but it only rocked him back. He punched her, and she went down on her butt. She was up quickly, but the large vampire was on her, and she had to bend over and let him go over her shoulder, using his weight against him. He's on his back, and she's about to deliver the killing blow, but he grabs her hand and through sheer strength manages to flip her over himself. Faith does a barrel roll in the air, and lands on her feet, crouching. She up in a flash, stake up, The vampire is on her quickly though, and grabs her stake hand. He twists it around… and pushes it back towards her. She fights him, but he manages to push the stake in her gut. Faith screams out.

" BUFFEE!" She screams, and backs off…seeing the stake sticking out of her abdomen. She pulls it out, but the pain is enormous… and the vamp is coming for her.

Buffy, hearing Faith, sees her backing off… wounded. She sees red. Not even thinking, she rushes as fast as she can over to the vamp, jumping on his back. She starts to beat him around his head.

" You leave her alone… you bastard!" She cries, hitting him around the head, boxing his ears.

The vamp roars out, and flings her off his back. She does an aerial somersault, and lands on her feet. She charges the vampire, who's turned to face his attacker. She rushes at him, not thinking. She does a front kick, but he grabs her leg and shoves her back… she lands on her butt. He's on top of her, and is bending over, for the kill…. When he dissolves into dust. Behind him, Faith appears, holding a stake. She kinda half grins… then falls over, wounded.

" Faith!" Buffy cries out, going to the wounded girl. She turns her over, and sees the blood on her blouse. She blanches, but then rips the blouse open, and sees the stake wound. " Oh, god, Faith… you're hurt!"

" Nothin' gets by you, does it blondie?" Faith quips, gasping. She puts her hand on the wound to staunch the bleeding. " Not lookin' so good now" She pales, the pain enormous. " Help me up". She tries to stand, but her legs won't cooperate. " Hmmm… not good, that." She sits down hard on her butt.

" I gotta get you to the hospital" Buffy says, a little panicky. She's scared… another first. Faith wounded. This wasn't in the training!

" No… no hospitals, thanks. I'm ok, just help me get home!" Faith says. Last time she was in a hospital, she didn't wake up for 3 months. Not wanting to relive that experience.

" This looks bad, Faith!" Buffy says," you gotta go to the hospital!"

" And tell them what? Got staked killing vamps? So not in the mood for a lecture on running around with pointy sticks and all" Faith says.

" Stop kidding around. This is serious!" Buffy says, angrily.

"I'll be fine… slayer healing…remember? Just… get … me home" Faith says. She's starting to get dizzy.

Buffy tries to help her to her feet, but Faith can't stand up well. She then puts Faith's arm around her shoulder, and putting her arm carefully around Faith's waist, she starts to half walk, half carry her. But Faith's feet keep tripping and sliding out from under her. Finally, Buffy just picks her up, and carries her in her arms.

Despite her misgivings, Buffy starts towards home. It's closer, and she wants to get Faith safe as quickly as possible. I can call an ambulance from there, if I need to. Still upset, and panicking a little, Buffy speeds up, until she's almost running. Her heart is beating a lot faster than the exertion she's putting out would warrant. She's frightened. God, no! Please! She's gotta be ok. I love her, you can't… you can't take her from me. Not now!

Carrying Faith, Buffy runs towards home as fast as she can.

* * *

" Dawn? Dawn! Where is she? DAAAWWWN!!!" Buffy calls out as she enters the house, " DAWN!"

"Geeze, Buffy. God, don't have a cow!" Dawn says, descending the stairs " I'm coming…. Faith! What's wrong with her?" She says as Buffy carries Faith to the couch, " God, Buffy what happened?" Dawn rushes over to the couch.

" She's hurt, Dawn . We fought some vampires and she got hurt!" Buffy says, feeling some guilt. If I hadn't been along, she never would've gotten hurt! ." I wanted to take her to the hospital , but she wouldn't let me. We gotta do something … Dawn…where's the med kit? Get me the med kit!"

" Buffy, maybe we should…" Dawn starts, but Buffy interrupts her.

" Dawn… GO!" Buffy says. She throws her sister a look saying Don't even argue with me now!

Dawn , feeling the force of the look, retreats upstairs to get the med kit. Buffy walks over to the phone. She looks at the handmade numbers list by the phone, finds the number she wants, and dials it.

The line rings, and Buffy is antsy, waiting for an answer. C'mon, c'mon. Answer the phone! Be there. Please, please answer! Finally the phone is picked up on the other end.

" Hello?" Tara says sleepily. She'd just dropped off to sleep, and was a little sluggish.

" Tara? TARA! Thank god you're there!" Buffy exclaims, " Please, I need you're help!"

" Buffy? What is it?" Tara asks, " What's wrong?"

" It's Faith. She's been hurt. She's being stubborn, and won't let me take her to the hospital. Please, I need help. Can you come?".

"Sure, of course" Tara says, trying to calm Buffy down." Don't worry, Buffy. Faith's pretty strong. I'm sure she'll be ok. I'll get some healing herbs and stuff, and come right over!"

" Thanks… thanks…hurry, please?" Buffy says, anxiously, "Please?".

" I'll be there as quickly as possible. Don't worry, Buffy" Tara says, and hangs up.

" Dawn? Where's that med kit?" Buffy calls out, hanging up the phone. She hears a chuckle, followed by a cough.

"Faith?" Buffy says, running to the couch. She leans over Faith, looking down, worried. Faith is looking at her, eyes half open, a half smirk on her face.

"Oooo, Action Girl! So forceful and commanding. I… like!" Faith says, a little weakly. Buffy looks at her, wanting to slap her and kiss her at the same time.

" Stop it, Faith. You're hurt!" Buffy says, concern coming out as anger, " Stop kidding around. This is serious!"

Dawn rushes into the room, carrying the med kit. Buffy grabs it from her, and takes it to the couch. Dawn follows her.

Buffy rummages through the kit, looking for antiseptic and bandages. She turns to Dawn.

" Dawn, take off Faith's blouse. We gotta have access to the wound, " Buffy says, taking charge.

" Buffy!" Dawn says, a little embarrassed. She blushes.

"Dawn… this is no time for modesty. Just do it!" Buffy says, turning back to the kit.

Dawn goes to Faith, and starts to fumble with the buttons. She's nervous, worried about Faith, but also her own feelings are all jumbled up.

Faith, seeing that Dawn's nervous, realizing why, smiles at her. " Dawnie, honey, don't worry. Nothing there you haven't seen before, " She quips, trying to make Dawn laugh. It fails, but Dawn does calm a little. Faith helps her, arching her back so Dawn can slip the blouse off. Dawn blushes a little, but averts her eyes and concentrates on the wound.

Dawn blanches a little. It's bloody, and angry and red. But you can see the slayer healing already kicking in. The bleeding has stopped, and the wound appears to be closing. Still, Dawn is a little sick, realizing how much it must hurt.

Buffy comes over, and looks at the wound. Her stomach does a back flip, but she keeps her face neutral… she doesn't want to scare Dawn or Faith.

" Dawn, honey, get some warm water and a cloth please, so I can clean the wound…ok?" Buffy says, her tone gentler than before. She can see by Dawn's expression she's scared, and near freaking." Don't worry, Dawn, it looks worse than it is ," Buffy lies. Dawn goes for the water and cloth.

"That was good, Buffy" Faith says, smiling, " Dawn was getting a lil green. "

"Shhh… don't talk, you're hurt. I got Tara comin' to help" Buffy says, concern written all over her face.

" Pfffft. This? God, I've had worse than this" Faith says, trying to allay Buffy's fears… and boasting just a little bit, " One time, I was fighting some big daddy vamp in the Midwest, and the dude kept alligators. I had to wrestle one to get to the vamp… and the sucker musta been a little hungry, cause he took a nip at me… still got the scar on my calf", Faith chuckles at the memory.

"Faith, stop, please!" Buffy says, her anxiety making her short, " you're really hurt! You coulda been killed!" Buffy gets up, pacing, " What would I do then?"

" But I didn't get killed, Buffy. That's the point, " Faith says, trying to ease Buffy a little, " We aren't exactly accountants Buffy. Our work is dangerous. We fight, we win, and sometimes we get hurt. It's part of the job."

Buffy is about to reply, when Dawn returns with the basin of water and towels. She bites back her words, and takes a towel. Soaking it, she goes to Faith and starts to clean the wound. Though she's healing fairly quickly, Faith winces a little. It still hurts like a … well, really, really bad. Buffy is as gentle as she can be, but it still hurts somewhat. She gets up , rinses the towel, and seeing the blood in the water, kinda feels woozy. Not now, Buffy, don't go fainting now! She takes another towel, and starts to daub at Faith's wound and the surrounding area, drying it.

There's a knock at the door, and Buffy turns to Dawn.

" Dawn, get the door please, that's probably Tara now." She turns to the med kit, to get the antiseptic.

Dawn puts down the basin, and answers the door. Tara is standing there, looking concerned.

" Hi, Dawnie, " Tara says, coming in the door. " How's Faith?".

Dawn doesn't say anything, her expression saying it all. She's clearly worried and upset. Tara understands, and puts an arm around her, leading her back into the living room.

" Don't worry, sweetie, " Tara say, calmly, " I'm sure she's gonna be ok. Faith's a tough girl, she can take a lot" She smiles at Dawn, and Dawn smiles back, feeling better now that Tara's here.

" Tara! I'm glad you're here!" Buffy cries out. She looks behind her. " Where's Willow? Isn't she here?"

" I … I didn't wake her, Buffy. She's kinda been having trouble sleeping, lately. First night she's slept decently, " Tara says, a tiny bit of concern seeping through, " Anyway, thought I could handle this ok."

"I'm glad you're here!" Buffy says.

" Heya, Tara, " Faith calls out, " how's tricks?" she quips.

Tara just gives her a half smile. That's Faith for you. She could be on her deathbed, and be making jokes about it. She walks over to Faith, looking at the wound. She pales a little. She's not used to looking at wounds. She kneels by Faith, and gets something out of her purse.

Buffy in the meantime is liberally applying antiseptic to Faith's wound. As she daubs it on, Faith is hissing a little.  
" Hey, watch it blondie. That stuff really stings!" Faith says, through gritted teeth.

"Quiet, you big baby, " Buffy scolds her, " it's not that bad!"

"Yeah, well, you get cut, and we'll see, ok?" Faith growls.

" Buffy, let me put this on. It'll ease the pain, and help the healing" Tara says. She starts to apply some greenish colored salve to the wound. Faith sighs, as it feels better. She looks down, one eyebrow arched.

" Hey…Tara… that stuff isn't gonna like… turn me into a frog or nothin', is it?" Faith says, " I mean… I'm already a horny toad, don't need the upgrade" She chuckles. Everybody but Faith kinda blush at her remark, "Now, now, ladies. Minds out of the gutter" She quips.

"Tara, you got anything in that bag to make Faith start acting seriously?" Buffy says, irritated, " She's been doing this ever since we got home!". Buffy starts to bandage Faith's wound.

" That's just Faith, Buffy" Tara says, " She always jokes when she's hurt. She's so worried everybody else is going to be worried, she tries to just slough it off." Tara grins, " though, it's a good sign when the jokes start getting a little racy. Means she's feeling better".

"Well, yeah, " Faith says, mockingly, " but did you have to tell them that? I was gonna goof off from work a couple of days, have 'em wait on me hand and foot here!"

" You're so not going to work injured, you can bet on that, girl" Buffy says, adamantly. " But the hand and foot thing? Don't get you're hopes up!". She finishes putting on the bandages.

"You're such a meanie!" Faith complains. She turns to Tara, and winks, "she's sooo bossy. I love it". She sniffs the air, and wrinkles her nose, " What is that stuff, Tara? It stinks!"

" Just some healing herbs and garlic and a few other things, " Tara doesn't want to elaborate.

"Well, swell. You just put a big damper on my sex life, let me tell you!" Faith says. Again, the other women in the room blush. She goes on, " Yeah, I know… what sex life? God , a nun aint so celibate as I've been lately!" Faith looks pointedly at Buffy, who turns about 6 shades of red.

"Faith! Dawn! Little ears, you know?" Buffy says, going over to Dawn and putting her hands over her ears. Dawn gives her a look something a cross between irritation and what the hell are you doing?

"Oh, c'mon Buff, " Faith says, " Dawn's fifteen. She's probably heard lots worse than that, for Christ's sake!"

Dawn mumbles something under her breath.

"What? What?" Buffy says, not hearing her.

" I said," Dawn replies, " I've said a lot worse than that!"

"Dawn!?!?" Buffy says, a little shocked.

" Oh, stop being such a prude, Buffy!" Dawn says. She gets an evil look in her eye, and turns to her sister, " Sex, sex, sex!" she says, to Buffy's apparent horror. Faith, hearing the exchange, starts to chuckle. Buffy puts her hands over her ears, and moves away. Dawn, encourage, follows her.

"Sex, Buffy, sex, sex, sex! " Dawn says, torturing her, " what's the matter, Buffy? Don't you ever get …" She pauses for effect, " … horny?"

"DAWN SUMMERS!" Buffy shouts, " You stop that!" But Buffy is blushing a deep red.

Faith is laughing now, and groaning, because laughing hurts. But she can't help it. She starts to needle Buffy, too.

" God, I'm surprised at you, Buffy!" Faith says, laughing and groaning, " I mean, c'mon, you were just slaying. You know slaying makes ya hungry and horny, don't ya?"

Buffy blushes some more, and turns to Tara for support.

" You see what I gotta put up with?" She whines, " they're incorrigible…or something".

But Tara is just smiling. She's loving the obvious familiarity these three are showing. They're acting like a family. She'd been a little worried that things would be weird around here, but obviously that wasn't the case. She thinks about her own situation, and her smile slips a little. I wish Willow would start acting like herself again. She's been so depressed, lately. She's going around, acting like a whipped puppy. I just wish I knew what's eating her. Tara decides that Faith is going to be ok, and it's time she went home. She goes over to Buffy, and hands her the jar with the salve in it.

" I think she'll be ok now, Buffy" Tara says. Buffy just sighs, but nods. Tara continues, " I'm leaving you some of the salve, in case her wound gets infected. But I don't think it will."

" That's right, Tara!" Faith calls out from the couch, " leave some more of that smelly goop you put on me! No more lovin' for ole Stinky Faith… of course, not like I was getting any anyway!" Buffy and Dawn both blush, then roll their eyes. Faith just chuckles from her couch.

" Goodnight, Faith" Tara says, a little sternly… teasing her just a little. She turns to Buffy, " If you need anymore help, just call me, ok?"

" Do you have to go?" Buffy asks

" Yeah, better get back. Hate for Willow to wake up and see me gone." Tara starts to turn away, but Buffy catches her arm.

" Are you ok, Tara?" Buffy asks, solicitously, " You seem kinda … distracted."

" Yeah, I'm ok, Buffy, " Tara replies, " But… well, I'm kind of worried about Willow."

"What's wrong, Tara?" Buffy asks, feeling a little concerned.

" Not now, Buffy" Tara says, " Maybe we can talk… in the next day or so?" She asks.

"Sure, anytime. Just call me, 'k?" Buffy says. Tara nods. Buffy, on impulse, hugs her and kisses her cheek. Tara smiles.

"Well, goodnight, Buffy, Dawn." Tara says. She notices Dawn standing by herself, a strange look on her face, " Hey, Dawnie? Walk me out?" Dawn nods, and they leave the living room.

Buffy walks over to Faith, turns and starts to pack up the med kit. She slips the jar of salve Tara left into the kit. She finishes, and turns to Faith.

"Well, we better get you upstairs." She leans over, as if to pick up Faith, but Faith waves her off. She gets up slowly, wincing form the wound. She stands, but is still a little wobbly on her feet. Buffy comes over to assist.

" Here, stupid. Let me help," Buffy says, putting Faith's arm on her shoulder, and her own arm around Faith's waist. She is more than aware of Faith's half naked condition, and how warm Faith feels in her arms. Buffy feels her heart start to beat faster. God, Buffy… get a grip. She's hurt! " C'mon, Faith, lets get you to bed." Buffy says, helping her to walk towards the stairs.

" Ummm… well… you're bed or mine?" Faith says, flirting madly. I can deny it in the morning, say it was fever talking.

Buffy just gives her a hard stare. They start up the stairs, and Faith gets another one in.

" Well, ya know I'm gonna need help undressing…" Faith grins. Buffy blushes

" Yeah, right." Buffy says, tartly, " Just knock it off, ok?"

" Do you really want me to quit?" Faith says, half-joking.

Buffy just gives her a disgusted look. They continue up the stairs

But in her head, it's a whole different story.

Never! Don't ever quit!

* * *

" You ok, Dawnie?" Tara asks, on the porch. She knows that what happened in there must've been hard for Dawn.

"Yeah, I'm fine, " Dawn says… then confesses, " No, I'm not fine, but I'll deal, ok?"

Tara walks over to Dawn and hugs her. Dawn hugs her back, almost clinging to her.

"You're really brave, Dawn. I know it hurts, honey. But… I really admire you, you know that?" Tara says." You're doing the right thing."

"Yeah, well, if it's so right, " Dawn complains, " why does it hurt so bad?".

Tara doesn't answer, she just keeps hugging Dawn. Dawn finally breaks away.

" This love stuff sucks, " Dawn says, a little sulkily, " I wish… I hope I never fall for anyone again!"

" Dawn, honey, " Tara says, taking Dawn's hand, " I know it really hurts right now, and it seems so unfair. But someday you're gonna meet the right person, and you'll be so glad that you found them, and then you'll see love isn't sucky at all". Tara smiles at her.

" Like you and Willow?" Dawn says, hopefully. She thinks Tara and Willow have the neatest love going.

" Yeah, honey, " Tara says, not letting any of her sadness leak out, " Like me and Willow."

Dawn goes to Tara, and hugs her again, hard.

" I love you , Tara, you know that, right?" Dawn says.

"Yes honey, I know that" Tara says, smiling a big genuine smile. " I better go now, before Willow wakes up and is worried about me" Tara says, gently disengaging from Dawn. " Goodnight honey" She says quietly.

" Goodnight, Tara, " Dawn says.

Dawn watches as Tara walks away. There is definitely a frowny, sulky expression on her face. She sighs, then, making her best effort, she puts on the best happy face she can.

She walks back inside the house.

* * *

It's 4 am at the Revello drive house.

Faith is wakened suddenly by a sharp pain from her wound.

Damn, that really is hurting! I better get up and check it out. She starts to move, then realizes something… there's an arm draped over her. She carefully turns in the bed, and sees someone sleeping next to her, on top of the covers.

It's Buffy. Her heart almost stops in her chest.

When did she get here? Faith wonders to herself. What the hell is she doing here? She suddenly feels the blonde slayer move a little in the bed, and all of a sudden she's pressed up next to Faith. Faith freezes, not wanting to move and spoil the moment.

She suddenly doesn't care how Buffy got here. She's just enjoying the feel of Buffy lying next to her again. She can't help it… she adores this woman, even if she's not the same woman. She feels…so right, next to Buffy. She feels…so much better with Buffy next to her. This is wrong! It's so, so wrong! But I don't care!

Faith snuggles deeper into the covers, and slowly drifts off to sleep.

* * *

To be continued.


	11. Chapter 11

**Timeless Faith**

By Norwalker

Part 11 of ?

Rating : R for language, sexual situations and violence.

Category: Romance/Angst/Drama

Disclaimer: Most, if not all of the characters depicted here are the property of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, Inc. and Fox. This is a work of fiction; any similarities to anyone living or dead are purely coincidental.

Summary: Third in a series of stories started with " Summer of faith" and continued in "Seasons of faith". In the last book, Buffy died fighting Glorificus, the Hell goddess. This book picks up where that book ended. How does Faith deal with the loss of Buffy? How does life change for the scoobies? Buffy will be with them always, but is there more to it than just memories? Stay tuned.

Spoilers: Possible season 6 and season 7 spoilers. Hope you've watched them by now.

Timeline: Season 6, maybe season 7 and beyond( don't know yet).

WARNING: **_There is always the possibility of major character death_**. Romance between members of the same gender(duh). Sexual situations between members of the same gender. This is an _Alternate Universe_ (AU) story. The real(by the series 'coda' ) relationship between Buffy and Faith never happened here. So if you're looking for the dark, knife wielding, don't give a crap about nothing but me Faith, She's not here.(ok, bit of an exaggeration, as we all know by now that Faith redeemed herself, but the "dark, evil" Faith never got a chance to live here). Violence happens. Adult themes( someday, I plan on being one, too). Sexual situations. All the usual stuff.

* * *

Faith hauls herself out of bed the next morning. She notices that Buffy's gone. _Guess she musta not wanted me to know she was there. Ok, fine. We'll play it that way. She wasn't there._

Walking to the mirror, she carefully peels back the bandage and checks her wound. _Not bad, coming along nicely._ She gently touches the wound, and winces. _Ok, maybe not healed quite yet. But I'll be fine by the end of the day. I've been hurt worse than this. No big. _She puts on her robe and heads for the bathroom.

Standing in the shower, the warm water streaming down over her, she thinks about last night. _'K, Faith. Maybe last night was a wake up call. Thing is, girl, you've been walking around here out of it for way too long. Last night showed you that if you don't stop it, you could wind up seriously dead one of these nights. For what? Because you can't make up your mind? Think about it, girl. Are Buffy and Dawn gonna be better if you're dead, especially if it's your own stupid fault because you're walkin' around with your head up your butt? Think Buffy would feel any better knowing it was because of her? Ok, not fair… because I can't decide about her. Let's get down to it, Faith. You're not 15 anymore. You're not a kid anymore. You don't have the luxury of mooning around about Buffy . Does she, doesn't she? Will she, won't she? So aint gonna work. Much as I hate it, gonna have to just sit her down, and try to figure this mess out. Explain what I'm going through, and try to deal._

_Ok, one more time Faith. We've been over this, and it's getting past boring. Buffy is gone. The Buffy you knew is gone. If you stop for a minute, you're going to know she's not coming back. She as much as told you to move on… remember? Get on with your life, and live it, and stop the mourning. I just wish it were that easy, that I could find a switch and turn it off. I can't. But I gotta deal with it now, and start to treat her… Buffy, this Buffy, as a new person, not as a substitute for the Buffy I loved. She has a right to exist, to be treated as a person too… and you haven't been doing that. You don't forget the woman you loved. That can't happen. She's gonna be in my heart, have a part of it, for as long as I live. But that doesn't mean you can't love the woman she's become. If you let yourself, and stop torturing yourself, and her._

_Time's run out, Faith. You can't be a child any longer. You've got a family now. They depend on you. You've made a commitment to watch over Dawn. And now that Buffy is back, but needed help, she's your responsibility too. Maybe we'll be able to actually find happiness together. God, I hope so. I think she's … somewhere feeling like I am. I mean, she almost told you that a month ago, remember? She almost wore your lips off that night, until we were interrupted. Yeah, ok, it weirded a little after, cuz she got scared of the anger I showed, but c'mon, Faith, you went postal pretty bad. So she had a right to back off… but she's starting to come forward again. DON'T BLOW THIS!!! Let it happen if it's gonna happen. And if it don't, it doesn't change your responsibilities. At worst, we'll be close friends. That's not a bad thing, either. I want more, but maybe that's not supposed to happen. Either way, she stays a part of your life. Bottom line, Faith: until Buffy says otherwise, I'm here. I'm gonna take care of them until they don't need or want me anymore. Even then their gonna have to kick my ass out._

She finishes up her shower, and dries off. Looking at herself in the mirror, she smiles, a little self-deprecatingly. _Brave words, Faith. Lets see how long you stick to it, shall we?_ She makes an impatient noise with herself, and walks back to her room to dress.

* * *

Buffy sits by the breakfast bar, tapping her fingers nervously on the counter.

She's gotten Dawn off to school, courtesy of Tara and Willow. They came by and took her to school. She knew she had to talk, well… more likely, confront Faith on last night. She so wasn't looking forward to it, but there was no getting around it. She wasn't going to be that scared and worried again.

" Hey, Buff. Where's Dawnie? We gotta hurry if I'm gonna get her to school on time," Faith says, heading for the coffee pot, "How come no one woke me? Is there any coffee?" She shakes the nearly empty pot.

Buffy looks at Faith, dressed for work, and she starts to feel her neck flush.

"What do you think you're doing?" Buffy asks, her voice calm, but there's an edge of anger to it.

"Huh?" Faith replies, detecting the anger, " I'm taking Dawn to school, then going to work. What's the deal?"

"What's the deal?" Buffy repeats, as if those are the most stupid words she's ever heard, " What's the DEAL?"

"Ok, you've got the question, " Faith says, her tone lightly mocking, " Usually, the answer follows". She turns to Buffy, with a smirk, which quickly disappears when she sees Buffy's expression. _Uh-oh._

Buffy walks over and taps Faith on the head, " Hello, is there a brain in here?" She says, sarcastically.

" Hey…watch the love taps, Buffy!" Faith says, rubbing her head.

"I thought I was the one with memory loss" Buffy says, her tone growing angrier, " Did you forget something… LIKE YOU WERE HURT LAST NIGHT? BAD ENOUGH I HAD TO CARRY YOU HOME?" She yells. Faith winces.

" Hey, Buffy, calm down. It was no big deal, " Faith says, trying to soothe her. It only has the opposite effect.

" CALM DOWN?" Buffy yells… then she closes her eyes, grips her fists trying to do just that. She pauses a minute for her anger to cool a little. When she continues, her voice is quieter, but her temper is still flaring, " Calm down, right. No big deal. You couldn't walk, I had to carry you home. You had blood all over you. No big deal. Got it. Hey, maybe I was in a different dimension, or something. Maybe it didn't really happen, " Buffy says, her tone heavily washed with acid, " No, wait… I can't remember things, so I gotta be mentally defective, that's it. I imagined the whole goddamn thing. That it, Faith?"

" No… that isn't what I meant, "Faiths says, defensive, " I … I just meant I'm ok, it's not that bad."

"Really?" Buffy asks, acerbically. She walks over and gently flicks Faith on her wound. Faith flinches. Buffy continues, " Oh, yeah, your just FINE, Faith. Got it!".

" Why're you so mad?" Faith asks, feeling more than a little hurt.

" Oh, I don't know, Faith, " Buffy says, " Maybe cuz I slept all of an hour last night? Or, maybe It's cuz I spent most of the night worried sick about you. Could be the guilt I'm feeling for letting you talk me out of taking you to the hospital. Here's a tip, Faith. Sitting up all night, listening to someone you care about whimper ever time she accidentally turns on her wound side? Not conducive to good moods."

"Buffy, I'm sorry…." Faith says, but Buffy cuts her off.

" You're sorry. Great. That woulda been great if you'd died. God, what was I thinking?" Buffy says, moving on to self-blame." I was confused, and scared and didn't know what to do. So of course, I listen to you... you who give me rotten advice. I shoulda just taken you anyway, or called an ambulance, or something. God I shoulda… but I didn't. Stupid. Stupid and double stupid!" Buffy paces nervously, her anger at Faith, but mostly at herself, building up. She wants to hit something really badly.

"Buffy… don't… don't do this!" Faith says, her voice getting a sorrowful tone to it. " Please, don't blame yourself!"

" Right, right. Don't blame myself," Buffy says, her anger starting to be laced with tears of frustration and worry , " Don't blame myself. " Hey, Faith died, but I wasn't at fault". Yeah, that'd so help." She moves away, seeming to scrunch herself up.

" Buffy. Buffy. It's ok, I'm ok" She comes to Buffy, trying to lay her hands on her, to comfort her. Buffy shrugs her off. " Look, Buffy, I'll… I'll go …I'll go now. To the hospital. Or doctor. Anywhere you want me to. Ok?" Faith's voice takes on a tone of pleading.

"No… I mean… Yes… I mean, I'm not letting you out of here except to go to the hospital to get that wound checked out. I called Xander already, and he said that you're not to come back to work without a doctor's ok" Buffy says.

"What?" Faith says, " Why'd you do that? I mean, Buffy. How're we gonna pay the bills around here if I'm off work? I could lose my job. Then what?"

" Faith, Xander's not going to fire you" Buffy says, " Even if he did, so what? You'd get another job, or I'll get a job, or something. God, do you think a job is important?".

" It's important if you like eating, Buffy" Faith says, " What about Dawn? Lots of expense there, you know. If I get canned, how do I know I'll get another job? Not like jobs are falling off trees, Buffy. I'm just finally making decent money."

" Faith, what're you thinking? What if you go to work, and that wound gets infected, and you get sick, and die? Or you get weak or hit by pain at the wrong time, and fall and die? God, what're Dawn and I gonna do then? How're we gonna feel then. " Hey, Dawn honey, sure Faith's dead, but boy no one can EVER say she missed a day at work". Boy, I know I'll be all comforted by that! "

" Buffy, that's not the point!" Faith says, her voice quiet.

" Oh, I'm sorry, " Buffy says, dryly, " Just a dumb blonde here. Please, enlighten me, Faith. What's the point?"

" I want to take care of you and Dawn," Faith says.

" Take care of us?" Buffy says, her tone changing. Softening. She continues, " how're you gonna take care of us if you're sick, really sick…or… dead?"

" I've taken care of that, " Faith says, " I've got insurance, life insurance…"

" You think this is about money?" Buffy says, incredulously. Her temper flares, " YOU THINK I GIVE A DAMN ABOUT MONEY?" She yells. She storms out, shouting over her shoulder, " I don't get you, Faith. I really don't get you. God, how can you think that?" She storms into the living room.

Faith follows her into the living room. Buffy turns on her, her face livid. Before she can tear into Faith, however, Faith stops her.

" I'm just saying, Buffy, in case. Something happens to me… you and Dawn are taken care of." Faith says, something in her tone is not right.

Buffy feels as if she's been slapped. But it doesn't make her angrier. Instead, she feels her anger dissipate. Something in Faith's voice scared her. Badly. She shakes her head, as if she's trying to make herself get it.

" I don't understand, Faith" Buffy says, her tone low, her voice hinting at sorrow, " how do you think that's what we need? Money, I mean. How do you think that'll be what takes care of us?" Buffy asks, looking lost, " Faith… we need you. YOU!. Not some money. You! Don't you get it?" Buffy looks at Faith, and the expression she sees there scares her. " Faith…why are you acting this way? What is it?"

Faith doesn't say anything. She suddenly feels as if the whole world around her is falling to pieces. She feels weak, and walks to a chair, sitting down hard. She just stares out into space.

" Faith… please" Buffy says, getting frightened. " Faith… don't go quiet on me, please, talk to me. What is it? Why're you acting like this? Like you don't care about …. " Buffy trails off, not wanting to say it.

Faith is silent. She's staring off, as if she's somewhere else. She looks at Buffy, as if she doesn't recognize her.

"Faith, please, you're scaring me" Buffy says, her fear turning to anger. " Talk to me! Dammit, don't shut me out! TALK TO ME! WHY? Please…. Tell me!"

" I dunno, Buffy" Faith says, her tone strange.

" You don't know?" Buffy says, unbelieving, " Who would know then? You gotta know, Faith. You gotta!"

Faith grips her hands together. She looks down, not able to look at Buffy.

" Maybe I wanted to die, Buffy" She says. She looks at Buffy, her face forlorn, " Maybe, until last night, I wanted to die!"

Buffy feels like a horse kicked her. She doesn't even look around, she just sits down… hard. Everything has been knocked for a loop inside her.

"Why?" is all she can manage.

"It's been so hard, Buffy" Faith says, her voice sounding hoarse and hollow, " When you died… I know you did it to save Dawn, to give Dawn a chance to live. My head knows that , Buffy. But in my heart, it's like…you left me, again, for real. As if our life together had no hold on you. It's childish, I know, but that didn't make it hurt less. You told Dawn to tell me you figured it out, but instead of staying, you left. We spent 3 years trying to figure it out, and it all came down to that. In the end, you left me. You died Buffy, and that night a lot of what was me, a lot of my heart, died with you. " Faith halts, trying to make it all clear. She can't, because she's not clear herself. She goes on, " You told Dawn to live, be brave, live in this world, no matter how hard it was… and you went and died. As if this world was too painful for you to be in. You jumped in the portal and left us behind, alone." Faith looks at Buffy, her eyes haunted.

" I know Dawn has suffered terribly. You're mom, then you. She's probably gotten the worst of it. But she handled it better than I did. So much better. Cuz I didn't want to handle it. I was already dead, I just didn't get it. Inside, dead. There was no color left in the world, Buffy. You took it when you left. You were my everything. All the meaning , all the joy, the reason to wake up, it was you. I couldn't deal with the reality that I'd never see you again, never touch you again, never be with you again. So I didn't. Inside I shut down. The only reason I didn't just walk in front of a bus is because of Dawn. I promised you I would look out for her, take care of her. And I love her, she's like my own little sister. I couldn't … do that to her. I don't think she could take anymore loss. So I went on, but here" She points to herself," inside it was empty, cold. Dead."

Buffy feels sick. Sick in her soul. She hasn't realized the depths of Faith's pain, how fragile she is. She's looked at her, and only seen the strong, tough side. She hasn't, until now, seen the side that breaks so easily. More, she feels something happening to her… something in her head, pounding to get out…. It almost hurts, and she feels a little dizzy. But she holds on, wanting to hear the rest.

Faith continues, " Then came that night, when Red brought you back. When I attacked that group of vampires attacking you, I didn't know it was you. I just thought another idiot civilian wandered in where she shouldn't be. When I saw it was you… everything stopped. I thought I was hallucinating, I froze. It almost got us killed. For a second, a brief second, I thought the gods, or whatever, smiled on me, brought you back to me." She sighs, " But it wasn't so, not really. It was a divine joke; they brought you back in the way that would hurt me the most. You didn't know me, know anything about me. What we were, everything we'd been… gone. Nothing. Nada. You're right there, but you might as well be a million miles away. Pure torture. We'd never have what we had, it was all different now. And somehow, I was just supposed to accept that. " Faith pauses, " I was selfish, so selfish. I didn't think how it would affect the others. All I could think of is how it affected me. I _needed _ you Buffy, with everything I am, I needed you. You, the real you, all of you. Not just part of you."

" Somewhere, over the next week or two, I realized that you… the you that was, wasn't coming back. Ever. I guess that's when I got the idea. I knew I didn't want to live in a world where you didn't remember what we were. It hurt too much, Buffy, to think that I'd love you like I do, and you couldn't, wouldn't return those feelings. That all we'd been was wiped out, never to be again. But you were back, even if it wasn't the you I wanted(selfishly, I know, very selfishly). I figured that since you were back, given time, you wouldn't need me to look after Dawn anymore. Or you, for that matter. I figured… I had one last thing I had to do. To wait long enough to be sure that you could take care of Dawn. Make sure you had the means to. Then… it wouldn't matter anymore. I wasn't needed anymore. I could… find release. I could die, fully, completely. And know you were ok."

Buffy, as strange as she was feeling, as dizzy, still protested, " Faith. I could never NOT need you!"

" I… didn't understand that Buffy. Not then. But something happened, Buffy. It .. started that night when I took you for the walk. To talk to you. To try to make you understand my feelings. I guess I … wasn't as honest as I shoulda been… but something happened that night. You got inside me again. You. The you that you're now. You took control, and kissed me. I don't know why… but you did. And I needed it Buffy. Needed it more than a junkie needs crack. I kissed you back, and something was planted inside me. A seed. Or something. It started small, tiny. But it grew inside me. Little by little, the dead stuff inside me, started to live again. I could breathe without it hurting again. Every day wasn't the same, it wasn't just gray anymore. I didn't want to shut it all out anymore. But I didn't see that in my head. I couldn't connect it. I didn't know what you felt. I didn't know what ** _I_** felt."

" It wasn't until last night, Buffy, that it all came clear to me. Not even with the wound, though that was a slap in the face. But that wasn't even it. It was later. When I woke up, and you were next to me, you're arm over me, protecting me. I was quiet, didn't want to disturb you, even though I was having major hurt from the wound. I thought to myself, " This is wrong, so wrong. But I don't care"… but it hit me a little later, that I did care. Because I finally realized… it wasn't wrong. I was wrong. Because I couldn't or wouldn't see what was right in front of my face. You were back. Right here with me. I was so blinded by my pain, my loss, and my selfishness, that I didn't see that I had what I wanted. You. I had you. "

" I don't care if you never remember anything about what was. If you want to know, I'll tell you, best I can. All I care about is … I want to live now, because you're with me. I love you, Buffy. I love you. With everything I've got to give, and even more, I love you!"

Faith looks to Buffy , hoping to see even a tiny spark of returned feeling. What she sees makes her heart freeze: Buffy is slumped over on the floor. Her heart starts to beat faster, and panic sets in. _God, no! Not now! Not ever! Please, don't give her to me, just to take her away again!_ Faith jumps up, running to her. She checks her pulse point, and starts breathing again. Her heart is beating strongly and steadily. She checks her breathing, and she's breathing slowly and steadily. She's just unconscious. She's still scared, because she doesn't know why… but she's alive, and that's all she cares about. She lifts Buffy, and gently carries her to the couch. She lays her down, then sits down next to her, holding her hand. She doesn't care about the pain, or any of it. All she wants is that when Buffy awakens, she's here with her.

* * *

Buffy tries to stay with it, but it's getting harder and harder to listen… her mind feels like it's exploding inside her.

Images flash in her brain, and her dizziness increases. She tries to balance herself, trying to hold on, slowing her breathing, but her hold seems to become tenuous. The room seems to darken, and she feels herself falling… falling… falling…

When she awakens, it's night. She's standing on some platform, up high on some crazy quilt of a tower behind her. Standing on the platform with her is Dawn. She turns, and sees a flashing ball of energy suspended behind her. The portal ! She knows this! She has to tell Dawn something… something important. Images come to her, of the first slayer, telling about her gift. Death is her gift, and now she understands why. It's about the blood, their blood, hers and Dawn's. They're the same. But there's more. She has to tell Dawn…what? WHAT ? It all comes to her. She knows. She understands. She finally gets it, and she has to tell Dawn. She knows what she has to do… but how can she do it? Now that she knows? She walks to Dawn, and starts to talk to her. Dawn is crying and shaking. Buffy holds her, trying to calm her. She tells her what she needs to tell her, what Dawn needs to know.

" Buffy, no… NO!" Dawn says, trying to stop her.

" I have to , Dawn, " Buffy replies, calmly, " this is what I do. This is my destiny ".

Buffy turns, and starts to run. In her mind is the knowledge that if she doesn't do it now, quickly, she won't be able to do it. Though she knows what she's doing is right, her heart is like lead in her chest. Because she knows now what she needed to do earlier. To let Faith in, all the way in, to her heart. To risk again, what she hadn't been able to risk since Angel. To love her without reserve, to believe and trust in her. Now, it was too late to tell her herself. How much she loved her, needed her, would always love and need her. Too late. She jumps into the rift.

She's floating through the energy, and the pain is intense. What she was, what her life was, becomes a distant echo, as the colors of her life seem to merge together. The energy around her goes white. She can feel herself, or what was herself, drifting apart... becoming part of the cosmic whole that created her. As her mind is slowly washed away, her last thought is of Faith, holding her, loving her.

Buffy opens her eyes, and sees the worried face of Faith looking down at her. She feels Faith holding her hand, and smiles to reassure her. But she's confused… Where is she? She looks around, seeing she's back in the living room at the Revello Drive house. On the couch. How did she get here?

" What happened?" Buffy and Faith say almost simultaneously. The laugh nervously.

" I got dizzy and these flashes…." Buffy says, at the same time as

" You kinda passed out…" Faith says, over her words.

They stop…look at each other, and smile. Faith speaks up.

" Why don't you go?" She says, giving Buffy the floor.

" Well, it was really weird!" Buffy says, as she sits up. She explains the best she can the dream, or vision, or whatever it was she had. As she speaks, she watches Faith, and notes a change of expression on her face. When she gets to the part about floating through the energy, and the last thought she remembers, she sees the tears start rolling down Faith's cheeks. Faith starts to turn away, to hide them, but Buffy stops her. She gently puts her hand on Faith's cheek, and brushes the tears with her fingers. Her expression is puzzled.

" What? What is it, Faith?" Buffy asks, not understanding Faith's reaction.

" Buffy?" Faith asks, " Don't you understand? That…that's the night you died. Those things…that…tower…you jumped from it the night you died. Into the energy…." Faith feels a sob, but represses it.

" It is ?" Buffy asks, puzzled, " But you said you thought I was leaving you… rejecting you. But … I know now, that wasn't it, Faith. I can feel that now. The only thing that I regretted about that night was leaving you. I finally understood what I was doing wrong, all that time, and … oh god, it felt horrible, leaving you. I knew I had to do it, it was my gift, my destiny. I felt a joy because I finally … knew what I was to do. But the one hook in my heart, the one thing that felt so bad, was that you wouldn't be with me. I wouldn't be with you."

" Buffee?" Faith says, looking at Buffy's face, trying to see if anything else came back. Buffy senses what she's doing.

" No, Faith, I didn't have any more flashes" Buffy says, quietly, " does it really matter?"

" No, Buffy, it doesn't" Faith says, not hesitating a second. She lays her head in Buffy's lap, " I love you, Buffy."

Buffy strokes Faith's hair, hesitating to ask the next question. She's not sure of the answer, not sure she'll like the answer.

" Really? You love me, Faith. _Me_?" Buffy asks, meaning the 'her' that's here, now.

" Yes, Buffy. You. I've been mourning what I've lost, but I've finally realized, I haven't lost you. You've changed, is all. Not in a bad way… just changed. I… was scared, Buffy. Because that meant I had to change too. I … I didn't know if I could change. I'm not afraid anymore, Buffy. Not to change. Not if…." She trails off, because she … doesn't know the answer to her question. She gets up, and sits beside Buffy. She stares intently into Buffy's eyes. " I guess I should just ask. Do you love me? I mean… can you love me? Too?" Faith looks at her, not sure if she's too late.

" Oh yeah, " Buffy says, her voice low, almost sultry, " You gotta ask, stupid girl?" She smiles and pulls Faith close to her. Faith is a bundle of emotions and needs and wants and lusts. Heat and chills are running through her. Buffy whispers softly in her ear, " I love you". She follows it with her tongue, which elicits a gasp from Faith. She moves to Faith's cheek, and kisses it softly and wetly, " I Love you " she repeats, and then moves to her other cheek, and kisses that too. " I love you, " Buffy says again, and her lips move to capture Faiths. Their kiss is long, slow, warm and passionate. It seems to last forever, the magic of the moment drawing out time… making it stand still… as the share a tender soft ….

There's a knock at the door, and the Slayers jump apart, for some reason feeling like kids caught necking on the couch by their parents. Both look at each other and blush.

"Go 'way" Faith says, wanting more kisses.

" I better get that, Faith, " Buffy says, pulling back.

"Nooo, want kisses, more kisses" Faith pleads, looking lost.

" Stop that" Buffy says, wavering. Feeling her will to resist turning into crumbly cookies, "Faith, please, I … better…oh hell"

They kiss again, and they're lost for awhile again, but the knock at the door is repeated. Louder this time, insistent. They reluctantly part, with lots of tiny kisses . Buffy stands up, straightening herself out.

" Get rid of them, whoever it is " Faith says, low and sultry, " Tell 'em to find their own girl".

Buffy giggles, and walks to the door. Faith sits up, and straightens herself up, letting out a large sigh. She feels a small pain from her wound, but ignores it. Her mind is only on a hot little blonde who is sooo cutely sashaying towards the door. _Mmmm, nice_ Faith thinks, as she fantasizes about what she wants to do Buffy's clothes… and how'll she'll have to buy her a new outfit. Maybe something with Velcro stays…

Buffy opens the door, and is confronted by a tallish, solidly built man in his forties. He has brown hair and blue eyes.

" Hello, Buffy, " He says, smiling at her.

" Hi, can I help you?" She smiles back.

"Buffy??" He says, tilting his head , " What is this?"

" I'm sorry, do I know you?"

Faith hears the voice at the door, and her brow furrows. She's heard that voice before… somewhere… but where?

" Buffy, quit kidding around, " Hank says, his smile slipping a little, " Aren't you going to hug your dad?"

Faith feels her heart hit her stomach. Oh God, oh god oh god oh GOD! Hank Summers…here… now….!!!!!

"Dad?" Buffy says, her tone puzzled. She steps back into the house and calls to Faith.

" Faith? Who _is_ this guy?"

Faith, getting up, rolls her eyes heavenward.

* * *

Willow looks at the large and ancient tome before her. **_Inconcessus quod ignotus veneficus_**(Forbidden and Obscure Magicks).

Contrary to what Tara thought, Willow hasn't lost her interest in magicks. But her shame and guilt have driven her studies into the shadows. She already feels she's lost Giles' respect, Faith's trust and Buffy's affection. The one thing she has left she doesn't want to lose… Tara's love. She knows Tara thinks she uses magic too often to solve things, to make things go her way. She knows that if she's open about what she's doing, she may lose her. So she hides it, hoping she can cover her times she sits in secret, practicing her craft.

She opens the volume, and as she expected, the pages are blank. Or appear so. The book is very dangerous, and has a spell on it to protect it from casual use. You have to be of a certain level of adept to even cast the revealing spell required to unlock its secrets. She mixes the gathered ingredients for the revealing spell.

Placing the mixture over a heating element, she pricks her finger. Into the mixture to shakes a few drops of blood, and begins the incantation.

"Hecate , Dea of veneficus , audite mihi 

"Hecate, Goddess of witches, hear me

Ostendo sum ut quod est occultus 

Reveal that which is hidden

Illustro ut quod est atrum 

Illuminate that which is dark

Ostendo mihi ignotus lacuna illae volubilis 

Show me the obscure passages of this text

Sic EGO utor vox 

So I may use its power

EGO oro vobis Hecate 

I plead with you, Hecate

Ostendo sum is totus volo" 

Reveal it all to me"

As she chants the spell, a light appears above the vessel. It spreads out and then seems to encircle the book. The pages glow, and fiery words appear on the pages . Slowly, the fires burn out, leaving the revealed text behind.

She begins to peruse the tome, seeking the particular spell she desires. She knows it's here. All the researches she's done have led her to this book. It took some time and money to lay her hands on this volume; it was not something kept at the magic box, or even locally. She finally found an obscure bookseller on the 'Net that had a copy… but it cost a small fortune. It was worth it to her, however. She knew if this had what she wanted, it could fix , at least partially, the mess she'd made.

She can't undo all the damage she caused by bringing Buffy back. No spell, no adept, not even gods, could mess with alignment of the universe without a price being extracted. The coming apocalypse is going to happen. That she can't stop. But at least she can try to undo some of the damage she's done bringing Buffy back. If she can find the spell in this book to restore Buffy's memory, it might give her a greater chance in the coming days. It might even earn Willow forgiveness from those she wronged. That's the worst part for her; knowing what she knows, living with the guilt of what she's done, and not being able to receive forgiveness. She's spent more than a few nights sleepless, worrying, looking for answers. But none were forthcoming. In her darkest moments she had contemplated shutting off all thinking, everything, crossing the veil between this world and the next. It had been so tempting; she'd gone so far as to actually get a prescription for sleeping pills to have on hand. But in the end she realized it was the coward's way out. She had to do what she could to help fight the coming destruction, give her help even if it wasn't wanted.

She finally comes across the spell she's looking for. **_Refero quis est absentis_**( Bring back what is gone). It's not strictly a memory restoration spell… with all her researches, there were no spells that specifically addressed restoring lost memories. Forgetting, yes; stealing memory, yes; but bringing back lost memories? Not a one. One sage postulated that since memories are so personal, so colored by the person's own soul, that restoring them intact would be impossible. At least, not with benevolent magicks. Even the dark magicks don't have anything specifically for restoring memory. But they hint at the possibility. Lots of obscure and arcane language about it, but it boiled down to… look here, pointing to this tome.

This wasn't a simple lost object spell. This dealt with harnessing forces to fold back events, change them so they come out as desired. The incantation itself was sketchy, and in an obscure language.( more research…damn). It was designed so that the caster could modify the spell to what was needed. But what makes her pause is the list of requirements to cast the spell. Some of the ingredients are … shocking, to say the least. For a moment she hesitated…_maybe I shouldn't do this. Maybe I should just let things occur as they will. Tara already believes I'm doing too much. Maybe she's right; Buffy's making progress… No. Not enough. There's no telling when things will come to a head, we can't wait for her to remember on her own. I gotta do this. _She knows what she has to do. She looks again at the spell, forcing down her own queasiness. She knows she'll do it.

She just wishes she wasn't so alone.

* * *

  
  
" Buffy, quit kidding around, " Faith says, rushing towards the front door. She sees Hank Summers standing on the porch, looking somewhat confused and possibly a little irritated. She tries to smooth it over.

" You know Buffy," Faith smiles, winningly, " Always with the wit"

"Yes, I know my daughter" Hank Summers replies, looking at Faith, " But I'm afraid I don't know you?".

" Oh… sorry… I'm Faith. Buffy's… friend", Faith says, not sure exactly what Hank Summers knows about her, if anything, " Buffy, aren't you glad to see your Dad?" Faith looks pointedly at Buffy. Buffy is confused, but plays along.

" Oh… right… just a joke…Dad" Buffy says, trying to recover, " C'mon in, don't just stand there!". Buffy backs away, clearing room for him to enter.

Hank Summers walks in the door, looking at Buffy and Faith, trying to figure out what's going on here. But then he just shrugs, figuring it's just his daughter's weird sense of humor. Knowing he's on rather shaky ground here, not having been in Buffy's or Dawn's life much lately, he tries to play along. " So, does the 'stranger' get a hug?" Hank asks, looking at Buffy. Faith nods subtly, as if to say " do it, I'll explain later".

" Sure, Dad" Buffy says, her expression contradicting her words. She hugs him, briefly. The walk into the living room.

Faith is thinking fast. She has to figure something out. This could turn into a farce, really fast, if she doesn't get a chance to try to fill in Buffy at least a little. _Except there's nothing funny about this. He could very easily take Dawn away, or worse, if he learns that Buffy's memories are gone, possibly have himself declared her conservator, controlling her life. Why NOW? Why did the bastard have to show up now?_

" Dad…ummm… you must be tired. Trip and all, right? Can I get you something? Water? Tea? Soda?" Buffy asks, stalling for time. _I gotta talk to Faith about this… stranger. Somehow I don't think this is a good thing… not the way Faith was acting…and I want to know WHY I wasn't told I had a 'Dad'!_

" Coffee, if you've got it?" Hanks Summers replies, " Two sugars, no cream". Something's going on here… and he's going to find out what. Maybe he can question this Faith while Buffy's in the kitchen.

" Coffee coming up, " Buffy says, brightly. She turns to Faith, " Help me with that?"

" Right there with you, Buffy" Faith says, getting up and following Buffy in the kitchen. Leaving a confused Hank Summers in the living room, alone.

Buffy turns on Faith as soon as they enter the kitchen. " Ok, Faith. What's the deal? Who IS that guy? I mean, I know, he's my ' Dad'. But that really doesn't tell me much. How come I'm finding out about him just now?" Buffy is more than a little irritated. She folds her arms over her chest, waiting for an answer.

"Buffy, god, I'm sorry, " Faith says, moving around to make the coffee, " with all that's been going on, I … just forgot. We got a letter from you're dad about 2 months ago, saying he'd drop by. This was before you came back, and let me tell you I was totally panicked. I had no idea what I was gonna do about that one… good chance he would've taken Dawn away".

" Well, I guess that's understandable," Buffy says," He is her Dad… well, legally anyway. He thinks he's her dad, " Buffy is still really confused about Dawn as " The Key" concept. Nonetheless, she looks to Faith for an explanation.

" You really don't remember him, do you?" Faith says, her tone suggesting that she rather she didn't remember him. Buffy looks at her puzzled. Faith continues, " Look, Buffy, I don't want to … put down the guy, " Faith stops, reconsiders, then goes on, " No, wait, I do. Cuz I saw how many times he hurt you and Dawn over the years. If you look up " Delinquent Dad" in the dictionary, there's a picture of Hank Summers ". Faith pours the water in the coffee maker. " The guys a creep, " Faith says, going to the cupboard for cups.

"Faith! He's my father, " Buffy says, still a bit wigged at the concept.

" I know, Buffy, I'm sorry" Faith says, " but … look, I sure he has some good qualities. I know you love… well, did love him, because even as you told me stuff, you always found a way to defend him. " Faith stops. She really doesn't know what to say.

" Buffy?!" Hank calls from the living room, " you ok in there?"

" Yeah, Dad" Buffy calls back, " Just making fresh coffee. The left over was grody. Just take a couple of minutes!"

" Buffy, I'm just gonna tell you what you told me, and let you decide" Faith says, " You're mom and dad got divorced just before you moved to Sunnydale. You never said anything, but I could tell from talking to you that you blamed yourself for their breakup, because that was the time you discovered you were a vampire slayer and got into a lot of trouble about it. Anyway, your mom moved here to start over. You're mom pretty much raised you and Dawn from that point." Faith shakes her head, " Sorry, I even forget about Dawn at times. Anyway, he took you for some weekends, and I think that first summer you lived with him in L.A." Faith checks the coffee, seeing it's almost done, " Anyway, after the first year, things kind of changed. He started showing up less and less, using business concerns as an excuse. I remember that was his excuse on your 18th Birthday. I remember how… disappointed you were. Anyway, we found out the next year that ' business' turned out to be his secretary. He ran off with her, and after that, he pretty much disappeared from your life. Not sure if he kept up child support payments on Dawn or not… not my business. Know it hasn't happened since you were 'gone'. We couldn't even get ahold of him when you're mom died. He was off in Italy or somewhere with his secretary… he never called back, anyway. Now he's here" Faith looks towards the living room with a sour expression, " Daddy's home". She couldn't resist the barb. She turns away to pour the coffee. _Wonder if he'd notice if I put rat poison with the sugar in his coffee._

Buffy stands at the counter, trying to process what Faith told her. Her expression makes it pretty clear she's not liking what she's hearing. She turns to Faith.

" Ok, I've got one side of the story, " Buffy says, quietly, " I'm not liking too much what he's done. But he's my father, like it or not. I should hear him out… don't you think?" Buffy turns to Faith for advice. Faith just shakes her head.

" Buffy, you don't want to hear what I think" Faith says, " you do what you think is best."

" Well, we'll just hear him out, " Buffy says, " I don't want to screw it up and lose Dawn."

" You're right Buff, " Faith says, hating to say that, " I wasn't thinking. We got Dawnie to consider." She sighs, " I'll be on my best behavior". _Dammit._

" Thanks, Faith" Buffy says, coming over and giving Faith a hug. She grabs the coffee, and head for the living room.

Faith follows, carrying her coffee. _ Why in hell couldn't he have died, and Joyce lived? _She shakes her head._ Knock it off, Faith, calm down. Just be nice… it won't hurt you… much._

" Thank you, sweetie, " Hank says to Buffy as she gives him the coffee. She sits down on the couch, opposite his chair. Faith sits next to her. " So, Buffy, how've you been?" He sips his coffee.

" Fine, " Buffy says, not helping him. She looks at him warily. " You? How've you been?"

" Fine", he replies, uncomfortably. He continues, " How about Dawn? How's she doing? She doing ok in school?".

" She's ok" Buffy replies, " Been a little rough on her… losing mom" Buffy says, pointedly, "but she's adjusting ok."

" I'm sorry about that , Buffy, " Hanks says, " I wanted to be here, but couldn't get away. Business. "

"Business… right" Buffy says, quietly. She doesn't look too pleased.

Faith wants to 'business' Hank Summers right into the wall. But she promised Buffy. She holds her tongue.

As if on cue, Dawn walks in the front door. " Hey, I'm home!" She calls out. She starts up the stairs, and stops. She sees her father sitting in the living room. She calls out, " DADDY!" and starts to run down the stairs. Then stops. Her expression changes, and she continues at a slower pace. She enters the living room and stops near Hank Summers. " Hi, Dad" She says, her tone cool.

" Hi, pumpkin" Hank says, smiling. It slips a little when he sees her expression. " What's wrong, Dawn?" He asks.

" Oh, nothing, " Dawn replies, but it's pretty evident a lot's wrong, " just wondering why you're here."

" I came to see you and Buffy, " Hank says, " Do I need a reason?". He looks at Dawn, smiling.

"Well, sorta, yeah" Dawn says, joining Faith and Buffy on the couch, " considering I haven't seen you in two years, yeah".

" I'm sorry about that, Pumpkin, " Hank says, " I … just been busy with work. It's been really bad last couple of years."

Buffy and Faith both restrain themselves. They can take the lies, but lying to Dawn really is pissing them off.

" Oh, please!" Dawn says, her tone a little sarcastic, " do you really think I still believe that?".

" It's the truth, Dawn" Hank insists, looking at Buffy, as if asking " What've you been telling her?". Buffy just looks at him, expression neutral.

" God, I'm not a child!" Dawn rants, " why does everybody think I'm a child? I've known since 13 that you've been….having an affair with your secretary. You couldn't make time to see us when mom died. Now you do… why?"

"Alright," Hank says, his tone changing, " I'm worried about you. And Buffy, but mostly you, Dawn. I don't like the fact that you're being raised here without a parent. I know Buffy's doing her best, but she has her own life to live." Hank turns and drops the bomb, " Dawn, I think you should come live with me."

One very angry slayer gets up from the couch. And Faith follows her up, to restrain her. Buffy stands glaring at Hank Summers.

"Why would she want to do that?" Buffy says, her tone low. She's barely restraining herself from lashing into her father.

"Buffy, I'm not saying you're doing a bad job raising Dawn," Hanks say, trying to placate her, " it's just Dawn needs a parent around. I'm her father. It's not fair to her, or you, you having to raise her."

"Dawn?" Buffy turns to her sister, " What do you think? Am I being unfair to you? Do you want to live with Dad?" Dawn shakes her head. Buffy turns back to Hank, "There, I think it's settled. Nice seeing you. Maybe we can do it again in a couple of years. Maybe you can make it for her high school graduation."

"Well, of course, if you put her on the spot, she's going to say no" Hank says, " It's not like you really asked what she wants."

_Just give me 5 minutes with him, _ Faith thinks to herself, _ make that 3 minutes. This'll all be settled._

Faith speaks up for the first time, " Ok. Lets ask Dawn, then. Dawn, what do you want to do?" Faith asks.

Hank turns to Faith, " Excuse me, this is a family matter. What's your concern here?" Hank says.

" She's family, " Buffy says, quietly, but firmly. Faith looks at Buffy, surprised.

" What do you mean, ' she's family' ? What's that supposed to mean?" Hank says.

" Just what Buffy said, " Dawn speaks up. Everyone turns to her, " Mom was gonna adopt her. She told Buffy and me, just before she died. She was just waiting til she got well, was all."

"Thanks, Dawnie," Faith says, " but really not necessary. I'll just be quiet, over here." Faith goes back to the couch.

" No, it's true, I'm not lying," Dawn says, " She … she always thought of you as a daughter, Faith. She just wanted to make it legal. Isn't that right, Buffy?"

" You betcha," Buffy lies. She doesn't remember that, but she's going with Dawn on this one." So you see, Dad, Faith's family. "

" But not legally, so she really has no say, " Hank says, " besides which, I'm not sure I like Dawn exposed to yours and Faith's relationship".

Buffy's face goes white, then turns red… and it's not embarrassment. " What" is all she manages to choke out.

" I don't think it's right that Dawn, being of an impressionable age, should be exposed to a homosexual relationship, " Hank says, his tone firm.

" I see, " Faith says, quietly from her couch. She stands up, " Dawn, go to your room, please."

"No, I want to stay!" Dawn says.

"Dawn? Go to your room, please" Buffy repeats Faith's words. She doesn't know what's up, but she suspects Dawn shouldn't be here to hear it.

" Let her stay, " Hank says.

" Do you really want her to hear what I have to say, Hank?" Faith says, looking him in the eye. He blinks.

"Dawn, honey, maybe it's best you go to your room, " Hank says. He's getting a funny feeling at the pit of his stomach.

"Dammit! Why do you all do that just when it's getting good?" Dawn says, angrily, " I'm just going to eavesdrop."

"Dawn, don't you even!" Buffy says, " Go to your room, now!"

Dawn mutters something under her breath, and leaves the room.

" I heard that, Dawn, " Faith calls out. Dawn makes a strangled noise, and stomps up the stairs.

" Ok, Dawn's gone." Hank Summers says, " What's this all about?".

" What's this all about, _Hank?_" Faith repeats, " Well, you said you don't like Dawn being exposed to mine and Buffy's relationship. Frankly, I don't like the idea of Dawn being raised by an adulterer!".

"What?" Hank Summers says. It's his turn to turn red, " What are you saying?".

" I'm saying, you sorry sack, that you're a cheating bastard. Is that clear enough for you?" Faith spits out, her temper finally lost.

"That's a lie!" Hank Summers yells, " I never cheated on my wife!"

" Faith!" Buffy says, " Are you sure about this?" She might not like her father, not after the stuff he said, but this is kind of hard to swallow.

Faith turns to Buffy, " I'm sorry you had to learn it this way, Buffy, " She says, " but 'Daddy dearest' isn't exactly the poster boy for moral decency!"

"You're lying!" Hank Summers roars, approaching Faith, " you filthy lying dyke!" He makes as if to strike Faith. He feels a very strong hand restraining him.

" Don't even think about it, Dad!" Buffy says, her voice low but the threat is clear. Hank backs off.

" You can't believe her, Buffy!" Hank says, " She's making it up. I never cheated on your mother."

" Is that so, Mr. Summers?" Faith says, sarcastically, " Maybe I should go upstairs and get the lock box from Joyce's room. Seems she had you investigated while you were married. She suspected something was wrong. Turns out, you were boinking the secretarial pool long before you were divorced, Hank!"

" You're bluffing!" Hank says, " there's no evidence. I never did anything!"

" Really, Hank? How 'bout I go get that box, huh?" Faith says, starting towards the stairs, " I'm sure Buffy would find it fascinating reading".

" NO….wait… stop!" Hank says, retreating.

Buffy looks at him, incredulous. He won't meet her eyes. Faith just smirks at him.

"It's true?" Buffy says, not understanding why it hurts so much, but it does, " you cheated on mom?"

Hank doesn't reply.

" You…hypocritical, sanctimonious bastard!" Buffy says, her voice rising, " Get out of my house. Get out. GET OUT!"

" Buffy? Calm down… Dawn" Faith says, pointing upstairs, " I don't want her to hear!".

Buffy stands there, burning. Hank, defeated, tries one last tack.

" That doesn't change the fact that I'm her father, I can go to court and have custody awarded to me, " He says, " There not going to pick her sister or her lesbian lover over me!".

" Her father?" Faith mocks, " That's rich. Not only did you cheat on her mother, but shall we talk about the three years of child support payments that're delinquent?"

Hank just glares at her. She doesn't lose a beat, " You see, Joyce wasn't an idiot. She knew you'd probably try a stunt like this. So, she got everything together, and made it available. I've got it all upstairs, pal. So, Hank, if you want to , go to court. Please. Wonder how a judge is going to look at you when I give him the evidence I've got? Never mind how well your business… you remember, the one you're always so busy with, you've got no time for your daughters….that business? Wonder how well that'll go when this gets out. Cuz, believe me, Mr. Can't keep it in his pants, you try anything, and It's gonna get out!" Faith stands in front of him, glaring at him.

" You can't keep me from seeing Dawn!" Hank says, desperately.

" Wouldn't think of it, " Faith says, " Once you make up the back child support. For Dawn and Buffy."

"If she wants to see you, " Buffy adds, " because I plan on telling her the truth about you!". She's furious at him.

"Buffy, whoa" Faith says, " Don't do that. Dawn needs a dad, even a creep like him". She glares at Hank.

"Faith. He's a cheating bastard. I don't want him near her, " Buffy says, her anger rising.

" Buffy, wait, think!" Faith says, trying to calm her, " She needs a dad. You didn't have your dad at her age. You remember how much it hurt, how you blamed yourself. Do you want Dawn to go through that too?". Buffy starts to protest, but Faith cuts her off, " Think Buffy. If you tell her the truth, she's gonna be bitter, and not only at Hank. You're taking her dad from her. Don't do to her what he did to you".

Buffy's expression is angry, but she nods curtly.

Faith turns to Hank Summers, " I think you better go now, pal, " Faith says, her voice cold as ice, " You got the best deal you're gonna get. You can visit Dawn, on weekends, once the back child support is paid up. Now, I can go figure it up, but I think, oh….what? 3 years, two kids, with interest? An even 50 thousand should cover it. What do you think, Hank?" She eyes him.

" I don't think you want to hear what I think" He says, " but ok, I'll do it".

" Fine. Set up a trust for Dawn as a college fund." Faith says, " We don't want or need your money otherwise. I make enough to support us. I'll be checking it out, pal. If it don't get done, you're gonna wish you did. "

" It'll get done" Hank says, quietly. He knows he's defeated.

" Good. Two more conditions. You start living like a monk. I don't want Dawn associating with someone who's whoring around." Faith says, " Don't even think you can fool me. We've got friends in the P.I. field. I'm gonna keep tabs on you. You start your old ways, well… you can kiss Dawn goodbye. Clear?"

Hank nods.

" Fine. Last condition. You try to do anything again to this family, and I'll ruin you. Don't think I won't," Faith says, " you can ask Buffy. I don't take anyone screwing with this family. No one! Are we perfectly clear?" Faith looks Hank square in the eyes.

" Ok, ok, it's clear" He says.

"Fine. Now leave, and don't come back 'til the trust fund for Dawn is set up". Hank makes as if to say something, but Faith cuts him off. " Now!"

Hank, without further hesitation, heads for the front door. Faith stops him. " Wait!"

" Now what?" He turns, " What do you want now?"

"Dawn! Get down here. You're dad's leaving!" Faith calls upstairs.

Dawn appears at the top of the stairs. She looks down.

"Well, c'mon Dawn. Say goodbye to Dad" Buffy says, calling her down.

Dawn comes downstairs, a slightly cold expression on her face. " You're leaving, again?" Dawn asks Hank Summers.

" Yes honey, but only for a little while. I've got some business I've got to take care of. Then I'll be back, " Hank says, " Promise!"

" Yeah, ok" Dawn says, not believing him, " Whatever".

" No, Dawn, this time it's legit" Faith says, " He really does have some business to take care of."

"Really?" Dawn asks, looking at Hank Summers, wanting to believe, " Really?" She repeats.

" Really, honey, " Hank says, " Once this is done, I'll be back… and on a more regular basis. Ok?"

"I…I'd like that" Dawn says, hugging him.

" Me, too , Dawn" Hank says, hugging her back, " Me too."

" Be careful, ok?" She says.  
" Promise" Hank says.

" Bye, dad" Dawn says, hugging him again. She smiles, then turns and runs upstairs. He watches her go, and turns around.

" Buffy?" He says, a strange expression on his face.

" Disappoint her, and I'll kill you, " Buffy says, turning away.

He looks at her back, and his shoulders slump. He quietly exits, closing the front door after him.

" I'm sorry, Buffy" Faith says, going to her. She puts her hands on Buffy's shoulders. Buffy turns, and encircles Faith's waist. She lays her head on Faith's shoulder, and sighs. " Are you ok?" Faith asks.

" I will be, " Buffy says.

" Try not to be too hard on him, Buffy. He's your father, the only one you get" Faith says, stroking her hair, " He's weak, but …ok, he's just weak. You gotta be the strong one and forgive him, someday."

" Maybe, " Buffy says, " But not now." She turns, and heads for the stairs, " I'm tired. I'm going to take a nap." She starts up the stairs, then stops. She turns back to Faith, " Did we do the right thing? About Dawn?"

Faith looks up at her. " Yeah, I think we did, Buffy," she says.

" Me too, " Buffy says. She stands on the stairs, looking hesitant. Faith notices it.

"What is it, Buffy?" Faith asks.

'" Could you… could you come up and hold me? Just hold me?" Buffy asks, plaintively, " I really, really need it!".

"Sure, honey. I'll be up in a minute" Faith says, smiling at her. Buffy turns and walks upstairs.

Faith leans against the wall, exhausted. That little family drama took a lot out of her. She can use a nap herself.

As she turns towards the stairs, she figures that Hank Summers must be the world's worst poker player.

He can't read a bluff worth a damn.

She walks upstairs.

* * *

To be continued.


	12. Chapter 12

Timeless Faith 

By Norwalker

Part 12 of ?

Rating : R for language, sexual situations and violence.

Category: Romance/Angst/Drama

Disclaimer: Most, if not all of the characters depicted here are the property of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, Inc. and Fox. This is a work of fiction; any similarities to anyone living or dead are purely coincidental.

Summary: Third in a series of stories started with " Summer of faith" and continued in "Seasons of faith". In the last book, Buffy died fighting Glorificus, the Hell goddess. This book picks up where that book ended. How does Faith deal with the loss of Buffy? How does life change for the scoobies? Buffy will be with them always, but is there more to it than just memories? Stay tuned.

Spoilers: Possible season 6 and season 7 spoilers. Hope you've watched them by now.

Timeline: Season 6, maybe season 7 and beyond( don't know yet).

WARNING: **_There is always the possibility of major character death_**. Romance between members of the same gender(duh). Sexual situations between members of the same gender. This is an _Alternate Universe_ (AU) story. The real(by the series 'coda' ) relationship between Buffy and Faith never happened here. So if you're looking for the dark, knife wielding, don't give a crap about nothing but me Faith, She's not here.(ok, bit of an exaggeration, as we all know by now that Faith redeemed herself, but the "dark, evil" Faith never got a chance to live here). Violence happens. Adult themes( someday, I plan on being one, too). Sexual situations. All the usual stuff.

* * *

" Hi, sweetie," Willow calls out, entering her and Tara's apartment, " I'm home!"

Not getting an answer, Willow walks into the kitchen to put away the stuff she's carrying, _She's probably out running an errand or something. Though I told her I'd get the stuff she wanted._ Willow unloads the stuff from one bag, putting the contents in the refrigerator. She unloads the other bag, which has the magic supplies Tara requested. She puts those on the kitchen table._ Wonder what kind of spell she's going to perform? Strange mixture of ingredients. _She shrugs. Nothing nearly as strange as the things she's had to pick up in the last few days. _I swear, why do those black market types always go for the creepy places? I get the wiggins going to those shops. But if I'm gonna do that spell, I need the stuff. It's just gross… glad I decided to rent a locker to keep that stuff in. If Tara ran across it, she'd freak! Heck I know what it's for, and I kinda shiver. Eeew. _

She walks towards the bedroom, figuring she'll lie down and take a nap til Tara returns. She notices a light on in the bedroom.

"Tara, honey?" Willow calls out, " Is that you?" She doesn't get an answer, and starts to get worried. She backs up, quietly… hoping to get to the phone or something to call help… or run… run sounds really good, too… but what if Tara's in there… hurt… god… she's just about halfway to the phone when a voice calls out.

" In here, Willow" Tara's voice calls out. It has a strangely flat quality to it. Willow sighs, relieved. She walks back towards the bedroom.

Tara is sitting on the bed, which is mostly covered in clothes. Her clothes. There're a couple of suitcases open on the bed, and a box or two sitting on the floor. Tara doesn't look up when Willow enters, instead she seems focused on a point on the floor. Willow takes in the scene, and her brow gets furrowed.

Then she sees the **_Inconcessus quod ignotus veneficus _** on the bed, and her stomach starts to do flip-flops. She thought she hid that well, but here it's sitting in plain sight. She realizes this isn't good, and it's getting worse by the moment. She walks in, trying to read Tara's expression, but Tara's face is a mask.

" Tara, honey, I can explain that…." Willow starts , but Tara, sounding deeply tired, cuts her off.

"Willow, it's not the book. Even though WHY you're bringing something that dangerous and evil in here, without telling me… ok, that really scares me, " Tara says, her voice sounding more tired than angry, " but that's not the reason I'm leaving you".

" You.. You're leaving me?" Willow says, her stomach turning to hot lead, "Tara, why? I love you, Tara, we can work this out, I know we can."

" I love you too, Willow" Tara says, turning towards her. Her eyes are sad, her smile wistful, " but that isn't enough. I love you, and I know you love me, as much as you can. But … I don't trust you anymore, Willow."

"Tara!" Willow cries, going over and kneeling before her, " I'd never… ever cheat on you honey. I love you with all my heart!".

"Willow, this isn't about cheating… at least, not what I think you mean, " Tara says. She changes tack, " Willow, where've you been going at night?"

" I told you, Tara, " Willow says, " I've joined a computer users group on campus. We meet 3 times a week."

" They called me a few days ago, Willow, " Tara says, " actually, they called you. They wondered if you were coming back to the group, " Tara's voice takes on an edge of disappointment, " evidently you went to a couple of meetings, but then dropped out. They really wanted you to continue, because they saw you had lots of knowledge… that's why they called".

Willow looks down at the floor, unable to meet Tara's eyes. Tara looks at her, and her expression is a mixture of hurt, betrayal and sadness. She sighs.

"Where've you been going , Willow?" Tara asks again, giving her another chance to own up.

" I… I've been doing research, " Willow says, realizing she better own up, " on magic".

"From this?" Tara asks, pained, " this book is evil, Willow. I just glanced through it, and it… goddess, it sickens me."

" I was looking for something, " Willow says, " something important."

"What, Willow?" Tara asks, " What's so important that you resort to something like that" She points at the volume, not even wanting to touch it.

" I… I…." Willow says, then she looks down, " I can't tell you."

" Lying… and keeping secrets from me, " Tara says, her voice suddenly growing angry, " let me guess… It has something to do with Buffy, doesn't it?"

"Tara!" Willow says, too quickly, " That's silly. Why do you think that?"

" Just because I'm patient with you, Willow, doesn't mean I'm an idiot… or a fool" Tara says, a little bitterly.

"TARA!" Willow exclaims, " Goddess, I never thought that!"

" Maybe not, but you treat me like one, Willow, " Tara says, " Don't you think I know about your… obsession with Buffy? Don't you think I know you love Buffy? Maybe more… probably more … than you love me!" Tara's tone is definitely bitter now.

"Tara, that's not true!" Willow says, her tone firm and resolute." That simply isn't true."

" Then why has it been " Buffy, Buffy, Buffy" since she jumped into that portal!" Tara asks, hotly. She calms her tone, and continues, " I'm not saying you shouldn't mourn your friend, Willow, but you're way over the line."

"What're you talking about, Tara?" Willow says, getting angry, " I don't understand this at all."

" Willow, from the moment Buffy died, you campaigned to get into that house" Tara says, quietly but firmly, " You couldn't accept that Buffy left Dawn's care with Faith. It bothered you, really bothered you. Then, once Faith invited you in, you started to try to drive a wedge between Faith and Dawn. First you second guess Faith on every decision she made about Dawn. You did you're best to undermine her authority with Dawn".

" Not true, so not true, " Willow responds, " I just felt at times she was being too harsh on Dawn, and said so."

" If so, you should've done it in private, not in front of Dawn!" Tara says, " But that's not all. The next thing you did was start subtly suggesting to Dawn that Faith was a drunk."

" I found the empty bottles, Tara!" Willow says, " and I never ever said that to Dawn."

" Out and out said it? No… but you implied it nonetheless, " Tara replies, " and if she was drinking, so what? Did she once ever get drunk in front of Dawn? No. Did she ever once fail to do what she had to do to take care of Dawn? No! She never drank in front of Dawn, and she never was drunk in front of her. She had a problem, yes, but she also took care of it, not letting it affect Dawnie, " Tara says, " And hell, Willow, the woman was grieving. She was devastated by Buffy's loss. She was barely hanging on. But she did, every day, and tried to make it as good for Dawn as she could."

" That's no excuse for that behavior" Willow says, " She should've tried harder."

" My god, Willow, how cold is that?" Tara says, upset, " I hope you're friends are a little more forgiving when you foul up… because you've pulled some good ones, too!"

" Like what?" Willow says.

" Oh, like bringing back Buffy wrong, and trying to pin it on Faith, " Tara says," Or, how about when you accused Faith of molesting Dawn? Think I didn't know about that one, did you?" Tara says pointedly. Willow reddens. Tara continues, " Why is it you didn't notice that Dawn was stealing… and nearly accused Faith of beating her? Shall I go on?" Tara says, acerbically.

" Ok, I made mistakes, and so did Faith, " Willow says, defensively, "what's the point?"

" The point is, you haven't stopped. You're still fixated on Buffy," Tara says, " You won't let it go. That's why I wanted US out of there… because I was hoping getting you away from Buffy, even if only by distance, would stop this obsession you have with her," Tara pauses, "but it hasn't. You have a blind spot when it comes to Buffy… something you just won't see."

" What's that ?" Willow asks.

" She's… she's not going to feel what… you feel for her. She's not going to love you in that way" Tara says, feeling sad and somewhat resentful at the same time. She says quietly, almost inaudibly, " I wish… you felt that way about me."

The veil seems to lift from Willow's mind. She looks at Tara, how sad she is, how… and realizes she caused this. Something else she fucked up. She goes to Tara, and holds her by the shoulders.

" Tara … No! No, no , no, no!" Willow says, " God, Tara, you're… you're the one I love, … I …love you! You're the only one I love, Tara" Willow pleads, " Don't you understand that? Can't you see that?"

"How can I see that? When everything you do contradicts that?" Tara says, mournfully. " I'm not saying you don't love me, Willow. You love me as much as I think you're able to love me. But… I'm number 2 in your life. This wasn't always so, Willow. For a long time, before Buffy died, I was number one. You made me feel like number one. But when she died, something happened to you. Something changed in you. I tried to convince myself it was grief, anguish over losing your closest, dearest friend. I really did. I did everything I could to support you. I even went along with resurrecting her, though I knew it was wrong. I guess I hoped that if she were back, things would go back to how they were. That she'd stop consuming you. I didn't see. That you're feelings had changed, Willow. That I no longer was number one, she'd taken my place."

"That's not true! That's not true!" Willow says, desperately, " I… I admit I've been obsessed. But it's not what you think, Tara. No one is more important to me than you, Tara. No one!" Willow sinks to her knees, wrapping her arms around Tara's legs, leaning against her. Her eyes are filled with tears, her body heaving with sobs, " Tara… please, baby, please. You're the most important thing in my life. You… you're the only thing that is real to me. Please, baby, don't leave me… don't leave me!"

Tara looks down at Willow sadly, " I wish I could believe you, Willow, I do, " She says, " But you're doing stuff that says it's not so. You're lying to me, sneaking out behind my back. I thought you were laying off the magicks. But you're doing them secretly, using the dark arts" Tara says, pointing at the **_Inconcessus quod ignotus veneficus _**. " Tell me , please, Willow, how can I believe you?".

"I'm… I'm trying to restore Buffy's memory" Willow confesses, " I'm trying to bring her back to the way she was before she died."

" Willow, wasn't what we did enough?" Tara says, her expression pained as if hurt, " We… performed a ritual that was forbidden. We brought her back, but she was wrong… she couldn't remember who she was. Haven't we caused enough pain? Even Mr. Giles …you told me Mr. Giles said how dangerous what we did was. How…how can you be thinking of doing something else? Something that might make it worse?".

"I have to do this, Tara, " Willow says emphatically, " It's important. Please, you have to trust me on this. It's very important!".

Tara kneels down, holding Willow by the shoulders, trying to look in her eyes. " Tell me, Willow, why? Why is it so important? Why do you _have _to do this? The truth, Willow… why?" Tara looks directly in her eyes.

" I've… done something bad," Willow says, defensively, like a child, " Something awful. If I don't bring Buffy back to what she was…it could… things could get really bad. You gotta believe me, Tara, I'm doing this because I've got to do it!"

"What, Willow? What've you done that's so bad, you have to resort to the black arts to fix it? Tell me, Willow!" Tara says.

"Tara… I…." Willow starts to tell her, then Giles' warning comes into her head. "… _this is our secret. You can't tell anyone. You have to pretend things are normal. Telling them now will only panic them. Once we know more, then we'll tell them together" _. She looks down and says, " I … can't tell you".

Tara releases Willow's shoulders and stands up. She walks toward the bed, and says quietly, " I'm sorry, Willow. I really am, " She starts collecting her things up to pack them, " I can't live this way. I don't think this is going to work anymore".

" You're leaving me" Willow says, her tone dead. She realizes the truth.

" I'm sorry, " is all Tara replies.

Willow, knowing she's lost, knowing her life is crumbling, can't say more. Can't think more. She gets up, and stumbles into the living room. Somehow, she finds the couch, and sits.

And stares at the floor.

* * *

Morning is just breaking over Sunnydale when Faith makes her way to the backyard. She is dressed in a black Ki, and stands in the grass, facing the rising sun. Making a ritual bow to the sun, she begins her Tai Chi.

Faith has never been a morning person; yet since Buffy's death, she's used the morning to try to center herself for the day. While Buffy was gone, she used it to get through the day without breaking down. The gentle physical movements combined with the mental and spiritual 'cleansing' she would help her focus on the day, let her concentrate on doing her work and taking care of Dawn. In those moments in the morning, she somehow felt a 'connection' with Buffy, even though she was no longer here.

When Buffy returned, she stopped for awhile, but realized she missed it. Missed the cleansing, the focus, and the joy of movement. So lately, she's taken it up again, getting up very early to complete her set before the others awaken. For her, it's a time of peace and contemplation, something she gets little of in the day to day worries of life.

She brings her hands together, and centers herself. Her feet are bare; she loves the feel of the dewy grass between her toes. She begins the stylized, ritualized movements, feeling the energy flowing calmly through her. She's been doing it long enough that she no longer has to think about her next moves, so she's able to concentrate her mental energies inward. She controls her breathing, keeping it steady and calm, and allows her mind to open up, not be constricted by thoughts or feelings, but to just become part of the whole around her. She thinks about nothing in particular; instead she allows her consciousness to release negative energies, freeing her from anger and hurt and pain. She feels a sense of calmness she can use at times of stress. She renews herself mentally, spiritually, and physically.

Unbeknownst to Faith, she's being observed. From the second story window, Buffy is looking out over the backyard, watching Faith go through her ritual. She's been watching for a week now. She can't help herself; everything about Faith fascinates her._ She has so many sides, she's so complex; every day I find something new to love._

She has a strong urge to join her downstairs. Ever since she started observing Faith's morning ritual, she's felt a draw to join in. Something deep inside her says that it's something they once shared, but she can't pinpoint it. _It doesn't matter, really cause I'd just make a fool outta myself if I tried that._ Even so, she's been fighting a yearning to be down there, to try. She knows Faith relishes this time alone, and she doesn't want to intrude, or even let her know she knows about it. She sighs, and decides for now she'll stay up here, just watching.

Things had been happening to Buffy lately; strange and wonderful things. Two weeks ago they'd made love for the first time; the first time in what seems forever.

* * *

It was the night after the confrontation with Hank Summers. The fires they had started before he showed up at the door hadn't cooled… they increased. The fight itself had put a damper on things; that night they stayed apart, both exhausted emotionally and spiritually. They weren't ready, not just then. They wanted it to be right, and perfect. So they waited.

That night Buffy had dreams… dreams that seemed so real. She dreamed they were younger, in a small run down little flat in Los Angeles, of all places. And they'd made love for the first time. It was strangely awkward, passionate, and utterly beautiful. She could feel every kiss, every touch. The tastes, the scents all were powerful and real. But overriding it all were the feelings she felt, how much she wanted and needed Faith to touch her, want her. Little odd memories about that night came to her… how beautiful Faith had looked when Buffy opened the door, how they tried to eat dinner, but couldn't make it through dinner, their need was so strong. How Faith had given her a present; a small gold circlet with a blue stone. How she wouldn't take it off, she wanted to wear it while Faith made love to her. It was so real, so real.

She awoke, realizing it wasn't a dream; somehow she knew it'd happened… she knew that just wanting Faith, needing faith had touched deep inside her…and stimulated this memory. And more. Her whole body was aching with desire, her nipples were so hard they rubbed against her pajamas, making things so much worse. She was damp, and needed relief. She tentatively began to touch herself, and her small fires grew larger. She fantasized about her recovered memory, about Faith touching her, and she soon was writhing on the bed, biting her lips to keep from crying out. She was on fire, a conflagration as her fingers worked their magic on herself, pushing her closer…closer, and finally over the edge, her mind shattering into tiny little pieces… then the sweet drowse as she came back to reality… and then a feeling of emptiness. It'd helped, she was able to fall back asleep… but it just made her desire for Faith stronger… her need greater.

The next day was torture for her. When she saw Faith the next morning, she had to fight a desire to rip her clothes off of her. She knew Faith had to go to work, Dawn had to be at school, and she had a million things to do… because she planned on making tonight extremely special for Faith. So special, so wonderful, that Faith couldn't resist her. She smiled at the thought, and her body began to ache all over again. _Damn how am I gonna make it through the day?_

Before Dawn left for school, she cornered her and arranged for Dawn to stay over at Janice's house that evening. Normally, getting Buffy to agree to let Dawn stay over at Janice's was like pulling teeth, so of course when Buffy volunteered she should, Dawn's eyebrows shot up in surprise… and suspicion. She pretty much sussed out what was up, but despite a twinge of jealousy, she decided to take this and run; she knew it wasn't going to be too often when Buffy wouldn't fight about her staying out overnight. She also knew being home wouldn't stop what was going to happen. She agreed.

Faith had spent a very sleepless night herself. Despite her exhaustion, her mind was on that afternoon, on the couch, Buffy in her arms, kissing up a storm. She felt all the old desires flaming inside her, and she wanted more than anything to go to Buffy. But she sensed that it would've gone badly if she had. So, instead she spent the night staring at the ceiling, until pure exhaustion dragged her over the edge into sleep.

The next morning hadn't been much better. Buffy managed to brush against her at every conceivable opportunity. What normally would seem like innocent touches became heavily weighted. _Dammit, Faith, you're just imagining things_. Yet, why did Buffy seem to press against her that morning, and Faith had been so aware of it? Or… that Buffy's hand ' accidentally' brushed against her bottom? And was Buffy wearing scent this morning, because Faith kept catching a whiff of it as Buffy passed her.

But the worst(or best) of it had been just before she was ready to leave. She had taken her lunch out of the refrigerator, and placed it on the counter, when two arms pinned her against it. She turned, and Buffy was right up on top of her, her body molding against Faith's. Faith felt her heart start to thump inside her, as Buffy's lips whispered a fraction of an inch from her ear, " Don't even think about being late tonight". She felt Buffy's warm breath tickling her ear… then didn't care because Buffy's warm lips were on hers in a very deep, passionate kiss. When the kiss broke, both a little breathless, Buffy's hand slid down Faith's front, pausing briefly on her breast and squeezing it. Faith nearly stopped breathing, but the rest of her body reacted to the touch. Buffy held her in place a minute longer, her eyes looking deeply into Faith's. Then she backed up, letting Faith pass… but not before she not so gently squeezed Faith's buttock. Needless to say, Faith's mind wasn't on work that day. Even Xander noticed she was a bit 'off ' today, and came over to inquire about it. But Faith put him off, just saying she'd had a bad night … sleep and all … which was true enough. She suspected, however, that Xander suspected… he got that special look in his eyes when he thought about Faith and Buffy together… god, MEN! _Uh, huh, like I wasn't drooling just a little bit thinking of Buffy…uh, huh._

Even before Faith opened the door to the house, she sensed something's different. It's quiet… too quiet. Faith feels uneasy, her stomach clenching. _Something's happened,_ she thought to herself. She quietly reached for the knob, and let herself in, trying to be as silent as possible.

The living room lights were off… but it's lit by candles…lots and lots of candles… scented candles, as the soft sweet fragrance wafted to her nose. Music was playing very softly in the background, light jazz… Faith was a little taken aback, and a little dazzled. She was still taking it all in, when seemingly out of nowhere, Buffy appeared.

Faith heard a gasp, and realized it's her own. Buffy's a vision… she was wearing a soft just off the shoulder white blouse, the first button open…suggestive, but not overly bold. Her skirt was loose fitting, pleated, and came to just above her knee…also white. She wore the strappy sandals Faith adored on her. Her makeup was demure, just a touch of pink to her lips, and maybe a little extra attention paid to her eyes, to bring them out. Her hair just seemed to fall onto her shoulder in golden waves. Small gold hoops adorned her ears, and around her neck was a gold chain, with a pendant made up of two hearts entwined… the one Faith had given her on her 18th birthday. Faith stared at it, surprised. _Where'd she find that? I thought I hid it._

Buffy noticed Faith's inordinate interest in her necklace, and blushed lightly.

" I found it in my room. I … noticed you engraved it, and it was for me… I hope you don't mind me wearing it?" Buffy said, softly, " It's so pretty." She nervously fingered the pendant.

" N—No…it's… you're so .. beautiful" Faith whispered huskily, " Just… surprised by all this" She said, looking around.

" You like?" Buffy asked softly, almost shyly. Her face revealed how much she wants Faith to like it, all of it.

" Very much, I like" Faith said, her voice soft, but carrying a lot of meaning." Very much" She repeated.

Buffy came up to her, laying her head on Faith's shoulder. " You think I'm beautiful?" She purred softly.

Faith's senses were overwhelmed by the cuddly closeness of Buffy. The scent of orange and vanilla filled her nostrils, and the soft vibrations of nervous sexual tension filled her body. Buffy was sooo close, felt so good, smelled so nice. Wisps of her silken hair tickled lightly against Faith's cheek and lips… If Faith wasn't already enraptured by the small blonde slayer, she surely was ensnared now. Unable to help herself, Faith put her nose to Buffy's bare shoulder, inhaling the soft powdery scent of her skin. It did more to make her intoxicated than a dozen tequila shooters could do. She stood there, invigorated and helpless, under the soft spell of Buffy's sweet feminine magic.

" You're more than beautiful, B," Faith whispered, her voice low and soft, sultry and husky with desire. Her hands, as if possessed by a will of their own, reached up and gently pulled the blonde woman closer to Faith. " I adore you, Buffy" She said softly.

Buffy nuzzled closer to Faith, her warm breath lightly caressing across the sensitive skin of Faith's neck. Her lips so close, the gently tickle the hollow of her throat. She said, in a throaty, sensual voice, " I love you too, Faith. So much it aches… I ache for you". Her lips touched Faith's throat, sending hot sparks through Faith, causing her to feel a dampness in her most private part. Buffy reached around Faith, pulling her closer, her body nearly melting into Faith's.

After what seems like hours, but is only seconds, Faith gently pulled away from Buffy, who softly whimpered at the loss of contact. She held Buffy by her shoulders… her soft, warm, bare shoulders_ god, faith, stop it, or you're gonna cum right now_ and she looks deeply into Buffy's soft , hazel eyes.

" Are you sure, Buffy?" Faith asked, " I love you no matter what. We don't have to, if you're not ready, baby".

" Oh, God Faith do you even need to ask?" Buffy said, her voice breathy. She gently took one of Faith's hands, and guided it up under her skirt. Buffy put it against her panties, which are already damp with desire. Faith looked at her, amazed and pleased. A tiny little smirk touched her lips, and Faith began to softly rub Buffy. Buffy eyes were half closed, her mouth went slightly slack, and her breathing came out in small, panting gasps.

" Faith, please no.. I want it to be special…oh… yessss. God…mmmm…" Buffy panted, her knees weakening, she collapsed against Faith. Faith just gently does her, her fingers working their sexual magic on Buffy. Buffy's helpless against it, holding onto Faith for support.

" No…yessss…nooo…please, Faith" Buffy said, her lips wet, her eyes hooded, she looked at Faith. Faith lowers her lips to Buffy, and kissed her , as her fingers did their magic. Buffy's hips began to grind against Faith's hand, and the fingers slipped inside, making it all the more heated and intense. Faith puts her free arm around Buffy, holding her close, and Buffy is writhing in her arms, her excitement pushed to the fever pitch. Her panting has changed to moans, as she felt her orgasm building within her. Faith's fingers move faster against her, and Buffy whimpered out Faith's name, and she lightly bit on Faith's shoulder as she's overwhelmed in intense madness, her mind being shoved over the cliff of her first orgasm of the night. Her face flushed red, her eyes closed, her moans escape her. Faith holds her close and tight as the tremors rush through Buffy. Faith smiles, seeing the pleasure written on Buffy's face. She holds her as Buffy's moans soften to whimpers, then to coos. She ran her hands over Faith , touching, needing to touch her. She snuggled closer, Faith enclosing her in her arms. Buffy leaned her head against Faith, and started to sob. Faith looked at her, a bit worried.

" Buffy? B? Are you ok, baby?" Faith asks, concerned.

" Oh, yes, oh yes, so … so ok" Buffy whispered, the tears overflowing, " God, Faith… I adore you so much" She leaned up and kissed Faith, it's tender and passionate at the same time, her tongue caressed Faith's. They broke the kiss, and look at each other, into each others eyes. Without words, Faith lifted Buffy into her arms, Buffy threw her arms around Faith's neck, nuzzling against her. Buffy's lips were on Faith's neck, gently kissing her, nibbling on her soft flesh. Faith, her breathing becoming more ragged, little pulses of fire rushing directly to her center, carried Buffy upstairs.

Faith gently put Buffy down on the bed. At first Buffy won't let go of her, kissing her neck, throat and face insistently, her warm lips melting Faith into a pool of warm feelings and emotions. Buffy began to fumble with Faith's buttons, trying to get her naked. Faith smiled at her, and caught her hands, kissing each on the palm. She straightened up, and unbuttons her shirt, revealing her tank top beneath. Buffy can see Faith's excitement as her nipples are hard, poking proudly out from her breasts. Impatiently, Buffy leaned over and started on Faith's belt, unbuckling it, going for the buttons on her jeans. Being this close, she could smell Faith's arousal. She slid Faith's jeans over and off her hips, where they pooled at her ankles. Buffy's pleased to see Faith's panties in a similar state to her own. She impulsively leaned in and kisses Faith's center, through the silky fabric, and is rewarded by a shuddering sigh from Faith.

Faith gently pushed the eager woman back, and started to undress her. in seconds it seems she's removed Buffy's blouse and skirt, and is rewarded by the sight of Buffy's lean, compact body. The small breasts with the pink nipples pointing up, so very erect… her trim little waist and flare of her hips. Faith knelt down, and removed her sandals, running her fingers down Buffy's leg in a way that made her shiver in pleasure and anticipation. She brought Buffy's foot to her mouth, and gently sucks on her toes, watching as Buffy lay back, sighing softly. Faith smiled, and got up, sitting on the bed to remove her boots.

As she pulled them off, she felt someone come up behind her. Slightly roughened hands reached around her, and gently cupped her breasts. Faith, letting out a contented sigh, let her last boot drop on the floor, as Buffy's thumbs gently rubbed over her already achingly erect nipples. She leaned back against Buffy, and Buffy kissed her, continuing to play with her breasts. She was in heaven, and Buffy was her angel. Buffy lowered her softly to the bed, and Faith chuckled at the eagerness with which the smaller woman attacks her.

Her laughter turned into mewling moans as Buffy worked her magic upon Faith. She seemed to be everywhere at once, and Faith felt the fires building in her tummy. Her hands, fingers, lips and mouth celebrated Faith's soft sensual beauty, worshipping at each little tender spot. Faith felt the fires spreading throughout her as Buffy's manipulations push her further and further. Kisses and nibbles, bites and licks all turned Faith into one huge mass of nerve endings. Buffy fingers found her secret places, making her body writhe in pure wanton pleasure. Faith's musky arousal fills the air as Buffy nudged, pushed and finally threw Faith over the edge of her orgasm. Again and again Faith felt as if her brain was exploding, her body thrashing with abandon. Her moans had turned to screams as she forgot where she was, who she was, what she was. For awhile it's all a beautiful nothingness, and then she felt herself falling and coalescing once more, Buffy's arms holding her as she trembled and shook. She looked into the soft hazel orbs of Buffy's eyes, and saw the love shining within. She captured Buffy's lips with her own, and they shared a tender, loving kiss.

After that they made love for what seems like forever, each not wanting to stop, each needing the touches and kisses of the other. Giving and taking, their bodies moved against each other in delightful, sweet friction, murmurs, moans and screams pierced the darkness. After hours, or has it been days? Or only minutes, they rested. They couldn't go on, each was exhausted. The fires had cooled, but still burn within. They are not sated, their thirst not nearly quenched. But they rest, holding each other, their bodies tightly spooned, as if the thought of separation is too terrible to stand.

Buffy felt Faith's breathing become more regular, and then heard tiny little snores as Faith falls into slumber. Buffy's body was tired…beyond tired, but her mind was active. It wouldn't let her drift off. Images seemed to flow through her brain, some beautiful, some sweet, others dark, terrible and frightening.

She saw the form of a man in front of her, but the face… the face wasn't human, it resembles more a bat than a man. The voice was mellifluous though, and it enthralled her. She couldn't move, though she wanted to run. She couldn't raise her weapon… she's helpless. She heard his voice, but not his words, then felt the bite… a sharp pain, followed by a dizziness and then darkness… darkness that enfolded her until she felt herself choking…and looking up into the worried eyes of ... Xander … and … Angel? She sat up, feeling weak and strong…and the image shifted.

She was in bed, Angel's face over her, kissing her. She wants it, needs it. She felt him inside her… it's pain, then pleasure… her heart bursting with love…she held him, and she felt him cum inside her, and she cums, the moment sweet, special… She was holding him in the post coital glow. Then he's gone , she's alone. The next time she saw him, it's all different. She can feel the hate spreading off him in waves, the evil burns like fire. They were fighting, fighting, swords clashing…at the moment she's going to run him through, something happens… he … changed again, his …soul?… was restored. But it's too late, way too late… Acathla?… was awakened, he's about to destroy the world. She kissed Angel, and then ran him through. It felt as if she's pierced her own heart.

Buffy felt the fear run through her. She gently disengaged herself from Faith, pulling slowly away so to not disturb her. She feels cold, and the icy hand of terror grips her heart. She has to get away from here…

She grabbed her robe, and made her way downstairs. She sat on the couch, and leaned back, her breathing shallow and panicked. Something was happening, something she couldn't understand. She's too afraid to call out, her voice choked in her throat. She sat, as the images flashed in her mind.

She's in a diner, somewhere… she seemed to think it's L.A. Everything was gray…she's a waitress, she thought, because she's carrying an order. The customers seemed to treat her like one, so it must be one. Gray, all she saw were shades of gray. Sounds are muted. Then the door opens, and Faith walked in…and color seeped back into her world. Faith seemed to have a vibrancy, a vitality that touched everything around her. She's so young, and looked so … hard… but somehow she touched Buffy deep inside…and the image shattered before her.

The images came more quickly now… of friendship turning to love, of lovemaking, of fights, of hurts… shared danger, it seemed to bombard her. Too fast. TOO FAST. She let out a gasp, and falls over on the couch. She curled into a ball, whimpering. She's afraid, and alone. So alone.

" Buffy?" Faith called out softly, seeing Buffy curled on the couch.

"Faith" Buffy called out, her voice small, afraid. " Help me, please help me".

"B? What is it, honey?" Faith said, coming over to Buffy and sitting next to her on the couch. "What's wrong, baby?"

"Hurts, " Buffy cried softly, " pictures, so many pictures running through my head. Hurts." She whimpered.

"Shhh… it's ok, B, it's ok" Faith purred softly, trying to soothe the anxious woman. She felt protective and helpless simultaneously… something was happening to Buffy… something big. All she could do was hold her.

And love her.

* * *

She sits, watching Faith going through her ritual, smiling. Since the night they made love, things have been coming back… little things, big things…there are still big holes, but she remembers things. She feels calmer. She's beginning to remember Dawn, how much Dawn annoys her, how much she loves her… it's as if something inside her is dribbling out her life to her, in tiny chunks…better than the first night, which frightened her so badly. Now it's something will just make a connection in her, and she remembers. She feels more comfortable in her skin, more sure of herself, than since… ever.

Poor Faith. She's been so patient… just letting me be. God how she's been hurting… and I'm just seeing it now. How could I not remember her? How could I not see…? I don't know why she stuck. She coulda run… but she stuck. Because, Dope, she loves you. Don't you get that, yet? You gotta let her know how much you love her, every day, Buffy. Every day. She deserves more than you, better than you. So you better let her know how special she is.

_I remember now… I showed her that. Taught her that. I learned it from Angel_ . She pauses, thinking about Angel… _heartache and joy. Sorrow and pain… so much pain. _ She sighs. _ She made fun of it… and me, at first. Then she got into it, really got into it… and so surpassed me in it. I just wish we could move together like that, again. She told me at one time we were equal. That we could just know what the other would do… not like that now. I wish it were like that now._

Buffy decides she'll just go down and quietly slip out on the back porch. _ I won't bug her… just watch._ She just wants to be closer… being closer to Faith has become very important to her. For all Faith gives her, shows her, she still senses Faith holds back some stuff. Keeping something apart. _ Maybe I'm not ready… I'll just wait. Someday, she'll be ready to tell me._

She starts downstairs, yawning a little as it's still really early. She's just about ready to head towards the back door when the phone rings. She's a little annoyed. _Who's calling at this hour?_ She walks to the phone and picks it up.

"Hello?" she says, and listens.

As the phone call proceeds, her face pales a little. She says a word now and then, but mostly listens.

" Ok, we'll be there. As soon as we can" She hangs up the phone, looking at it as if it bit her.

A voice floats down to her from upstairs. " Buffy, who was that on the phone?", Dawn calls from upstairs.

Buffy looks up, for a second seeming not to understand what was said. " Never mind, Dawn, just get dressed. We gotta go" She calls back upstairs.

Dawn appears at the top of the stairs, " Buffy, what's going on?" She calls down.

" I'll explain on the way. Just get dressed, " Buffy says, looking up.

Dawn is about to argue, but sees Buffy's expression. She turns, and heads for her room. To dress.

Buffy goes out back, and sees Faith finishing up. She calls out to her, " Faith, come inside. We gotta go!"

Faith looks at Buffy, surprised. Buffy's using a tone she hasn't used since… since before. She sees her expression, and a small knot of anxiety curls up in her stomach.

" B? What is it? What's going on?" Faith asks, concerned.

" Giles just called. We gotta go to the hospital" Buffy says. She tries to keep her tone neutral, but some worry spills through.

"What happened?" Faith asks, getting more concerned.

" It's Willow, " Buffy says, " Something happened to Will."

* * *

To be continued.


	13. Chapter 13

**Timeless Faith**

By Norwalker

Part 13 of ?

Rating : R for language, sexual situations and violence.

Category: Romance/Angst/Drama

Disclaimer: Most, if not all of the characters depicted here are the property of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, Inc. and Fox. This is a work of fiction; any similarities to anyone living or dead are purely coincidental.

Summary: Third in a series of stories started with " Summer of faith" and continued in "Seasons of faith". In the last book, Buffy died fighting Glorificus, the Hell goddess. This book picks up where that book ended. How does Faith deal with the loss of Buffy? How does life change for the scoobies? Buffy will be with them always, but is there more to it than just memories? Stay tuned.

Spoilers: Possible season 6 and season 7 spoilers. Hope you've watched them by now.

Timeline: Season 6, maybe season 7 and beyond( don't know yet).

WARNING: **_There is always the possibility of major character death_**. Romance between members of the same gender(duh). Sexual situations between members of the same gender. This is an _Alternate Universe_ (AU) story. The real(by the series 'coda' ) relationship between Buffy and Faith never happened here. So if you're looking for the dark, knife wielding, don't give a crap about nothing but me Faith, She's not here.(ok, bit of an exaggeration, as we all know by now that Faith redeemed herself, but the "dark, evil" Faith never got a chance to live here). Violence happens. Adult themes( someday, I plan on being one, too). Sexual situations. All the usual stuff.

* * *

Willow hears a noise and looks up.

Tara is standing looking down on her. Her expression was sad, full of regret, but resolved to do what she has to do.

"Tara, what can I say, what can I do to get you to stay?" Willow says, getting on her knees before Tara. She throws her arms around Tara's legs, hugging her. " What can I do to make you love me again? I'll do anything, please…please Tara. Don't leave me. I need you! Pleeeaase".

Tara can't help but feel her heart wrenching seeing Willow this way. But she knows if she stays, things will never change. She reaches down , and gently pries Willow off her legs. She kneels down so she's face to face with Willow.

"Willow, I… I do love you. It's not that I don't love you," Tara says, softly, " It's just I need to get away, to think. Sometimes it takes more than love, Willow. I need to find out, for myself, where we stand. I know if I stay, things will never change. They have to change, Willow, if we're to have a chance."

Willow seems to shrink within herself, as if the life has been pumped out of her. Her face collapses into a mask of agony and remorse, the tears flowing down her cheeks like small streams. She can't even sob, it hurts too much. She just makes small keening noises, sounds her heart would make if it could be heard to be breaking.

Tara, her own heart shattering, gets up, barely able to keep it together. She walks to the door, and picks up the two bags she's packed. All of her wants to look back, take one last look at Willow. But she knows if she does, she'll go to her, and won't leave. She doesn't turn around.

" I'm going now, Willow," Tara says, trying not to let her emotions break through… and only half succeeding. " I'll come back in a day or two for the rest of my stuff". She can hear Willows little keening wails, and they are like knives through her heart. Opening the door is hard, almost too hard. But she does, and she leaves, before her resolve snaps.

Willow, hearing the door close, gets up and runs to it, calling out…." Tara…. Tara!!! TARA!!!! TARA!!!! PLEASE, TARA!!!!" She flings open the door, and yells, " TARA!!!! TARA!!!! COME BACK, TARA!!!! TARA!!!! TARA!!!! TARA!!!! TARA!!!!" She starts to run out the door, but her legs seem to give out of her, and she falls in the hall, into a heap. She lies there, just repeating over and over " Tara, Tara, Tara". Her voice seems to fade out, as if the volume is turned down. Finally, just sits there and cries, not caring who sees her, what happens. After awhile she gets up, flings herself into their apartment, and closes the door.

She wanders around the apartment, seemingly lost. Everything is strange, harsh, cold. It's as if she can't see anything, she bumps into things, reels back, then runs into them again. She trips over things, everything just seems unreal, she seems unfocused. Nothing is right, it's all wrong, all wrong. She finally collapses in a chair, and sits, staring off into nothing

Her mind is screaming at her._ Gone, gone, gone she's gone and it's all my fault ALL MY FAULT! She was the only thing I had, the everything I had. LOSER, I'M SUCH A LOSER! Cordelia was right. I'm a loser, and I'll never be anything but a loser. WHY?WHY? WHY? WHY? The only times I was worth anything was when she looked at me, saw me as … wonderful. I threw it away, all of it away, over what? Buffy? WHY? Buffy doesn't love me, she never LOVED me, she hates me!!! THEY ALL HATE ME!!! They laugh at me, I know they do. They know a loser when they see one. The only value I had was what I could give them. They needed a computer geek, I did it. They needed more, so I did magic, to help. To try to make them see me, love me… and they didn't . I was just " Good Ole Willow" " Dependable Willow". I was a side man, a pet. Mascot. Worthless, useless and … invisible. As long as I performed, I was tolerated. But make a mistake, and Whoa, outta here! And why not? I'm a fucking loser , a waste, a joke. A Wicca? A witch? Please, I screw up everything I touch, everything I do. I can't even bring Buffy back right, her memory is like a big black hole! _

_No more! NO MORE! I'm done with this stuff. I… _Willow looks around at the room, with all the books, and talismans and other Wiccan charms and objects, and her rage builds. … _gonna destroy it. Destroy it all. Burn it. It's junk, it's evil. I HATE IT!!!_

She starts going around the room, throwing things on the floor, smashing what she can, stomping on things that don't break, bent on destroying it all, as it's destroyed her life. The books she tears out the pages, throws them in the center of the room. She moves from room to room, on a rampages of destruction. Nothing magical, nothing Wiccan, is safe from her. She finally enters the bedroom, and sees the **_Inconcessus quod ignotus veneficus. _**Her expression hardens, as if book is the epitome of all her troubles, all her woe, all that's gone wrong with her life. Looking at it, her rage builds higher, burning like a black flame within her. She looks around, and sees a trashcan. She brings it over, and stars attacking the book, tearing it apart, ripping out the pages. Touching them gives her a chill; she can feel the evil they contain. They feel corrupt and dark and slimy. But she doesn't care, she has to destroy it, burn it , and make it gone! She leaves the room, and comes back with a knife and a lighter. She uses the knife to deface and tear up the cover, hacking at it with a vengeance. She stuffs it in the trash can, and then lights the contents. She sits down, to watch it burn.

She feels nothing, no satisfaction, no joy at its destruction. Nothing. _It's all nothing now. Nothing. I have nothing!_ A thick, black, noxious smoke arises from the fire, but she doesn't notice, or care. All she sees is darkness, a blackness that extends to the depths of her soul. The destruction of everything hasn't helped. Nothing will help. She sees no future, nothing but bleakness and pain and sorrow. She knows what she has to do. She has to cut it out, bleed it out…_ Too much pain. Too much pain… can't take it, gotta stop it!_ She gets up, and walks to the kitchen.

She opens the drawer in the kitchen, and finds the sharp paring knife. She picks it out of the drawer, and looks at it, as if she's never seen it before. She holds it up, studying it. She knows it's right. It's what she needs. Closing the drawer, she walks back into the bedroom.

She sits on the bed, watching the fire burn. The smoke from the fire fills the room; it has a thick, putrid, decaying smell to it. But she doesn't care. Nothing matters. Nothing. Just to finish it now. To sleep. To let it go. It's the right thing to do. The right thing. She knows that now. She's ruined everyone's life, and she has to pay now.

She looks at the picture of Tara on her nightstand, and leans over to kiss it. _Goodbye, baby. I'm.. so sorry. I'm sorry I messed it all up, made your life so bad. _ She holds out her arm, and taking the knife, runs the sharp point along the vein of her wrist. She watches, almost clinically, as the blood flows out of her. Going to her other arm, she repeats the cut, and then drops the knife on the floor. She lays on the bed, quietly, looking up at the ceiling. _Sleepy now. Gotta sleep … now._

20 minutes later, Tara is back at their door. She forgot something… something important. Her picture of Willow. No matter how angry she is with her, no matter how bad things are, she wants to have that picture. She… needs to have it , so she can sleep. She can't sleep without something of Willow with her.

But she hesitates. If she goes back in now, Willow will think she's changed her mind. She'll have to go through that whole scene again… and she's not sure she can. She almost couldn't walk out the first time. As she vacillates in the hall, she realizes she smells something… something foul and … smoky. She looks around, but doesn't see any smoke… until she looks down at the bottom of the door, and sees smoke rising from the crack.

Oh goddess, FIRE! WILLOW! She… I gotta… Tara opens the door, and nearly reels back at the smoke that pours out of the apartment. She looks around, but can't see much… 

" WILLOW!" She yells, trying to locate her, but not getting a response. Panicking, she starts running around, the smoke choking her… she looks in the bedroom, and sees the trash can flaming, the smoke pouring out from it. She quickly runs to the kitchen, and fills a pot with water. Running back, she douses the flame with the water._ Goddess, what was she burning? _ She verifies that nothing else is on fire, then checks on Willow, who seems to be asleep.

"Willow! Willow!" She shakes the prone woman, trying to arouse her. _ She must be overcome with the smoke._ She tries to lift her, but it's no good… so she runs to the window to open it, letting fresh air into the room. Then she returns, bending over to apply CPR, and notices what she missed in the haze and her panic. Blood… lots of blood…and she sees Willow's wrists….

" Oh, no, no, no!" Tara cries, " No, no, no, NO!". For a second she's frozen, the rouses herself and runs to the phone. She dials 911 and tells the operator what's happened. She tells her the address, then drops the phone. She runs back to the bedroom, and looking around, finds nothing she can bandage the wrists with. She finally rips at the sheet, and starts binding Willow's wrists, making a makeshift tourniquet above her elbows on both arms to staunch the bleeding.

" Don't you die! Don't you die! Please, Baby, don't you die on me!" Tara begs Willow. She looks at her, in her panic not seeing the changes that've happened to her. All she can see is her love dying. She holds the tourniquets tight, praying to her goddess that she's not too late, not too late.

She hears the ambulance approaching, and thanks every deity she knows. In a minute she hears the EMT's entering the apartment and calls out to them from the bedroom. They come in and take over. She backs off as they work, her heart feeling leaden in her chest.

"We've got a pulse, but it's extremely weak, " the first EMT says, " I need the blood plasma now!" The second technician reaches in the kit, and pulls out an IV and hooks it into Willows arm. The first technician cuts off the makeshift tourniquets, and turns to Tara.

" Did you do this?" He asks.

" Yes…I'm sorry, I panicked… I didn't know what else to do!" Tara says, almost in tears.

" You did right. You might have saved her life." The technician says.

The technicians load Willow onto the rolling stretcher. They move her out of the room, and rolling the stretcher, start out the door and down to the ambulance. Tara follows, watching over Willow as they rush her down to the waiting ambulance. They load Willow into the ambulance, and Tara enters after, sitting by her lover, holding her hand.

Praying to her goddess that she wasn't too late.

* * *

Buffy, Faith and Dawn arrive at Sunnydale General about an hour after Buffy gets the call at home.

As the approach the entrance to the hospital, their expressions are grim. Buffy and Dawn are worried about Willow…what might've happened to her. Faith is worried also, but her fears are a little different. She's fighting down the anxiety attack that is almost sure to happen. She can feel the tightness of her muscles, her breathing getting shallower, harsher. Images of the past come to mind, but she pushes them down. She has to do this, for Buffy. To divert herself, she starts asking Buffy about Willow.

" So, Buffy, what did G say about Red?" Faith asks, trying to calm herself.

" He was kinda vague about it. All he would say was that she'd had an accident, there was a fire… and she was in the hospital.

"What about Tara? Is she alright?" Dawn asks, concerned.

" Yeah… she evidently was able to put out the fire, and called the paramedics. She's been with Willow all night" Buffy says, her tone worried, " She called Giles".

"That's kinda strange, don't ya think?" Faith says, " I mean, we're friends. I woulda thought she'd call us".

"Well, " Buffy hesitates a little, fearing Faith's reaction, "… you and Will had some issues…." She trails off.

"Whoa" Faith says, getting in front of them, " Hold up. I know Red and I fought. No secret, I didn't like some of the stuff she did and was doing. But that don't mean I hate her, or even dislike her. Just I felt a line had to be drawn, somewhere. I just couldn't sit back and let her do whatever," Faith says, " I'm sorry. Maybe I got no right to this opinion, but you and Dawnie? My family. Nobody messes with that, or them. I'm not saying she had bad intentions, just that she was nosin' and interfering where she had no place. Sorry if you don't agree with that".

" I'm not saying that, Faith" Buffy says, deferring to Faith.

" Look, B, I'm not perfect, I know. Not even close" Faith says, " But I did try to get along with her, give her a say in things. Just didn't work. Don't know if I was too stubborn, or she was. But we couldn't work together. Not when it came to you. That's kinda why I offered to leave, cuz it was tearing things apart. It just couldn't go on that way."

"Faith? Baby? I'm not saying that you didn't try," Buffy says, " All I meant was, you and Will are having issues, and ummm… well, maybe Tara thought it best … not to bring us in directly? Seeing as Will was hurt…"

"That I'd upset her?" Faith catches on, " Got it. Maybe I should just wait out here?" Faith says, feeling some relief. Maybe she won't have to go in, after all.

"No…", Buffy replies, " You're right. We're family. Should go as family."

"But if she doesn't…if Tara thinks it best she not see me…" Faith says.

" Might not even be allowed visitors… we don't know what her condition is. But we should all be there to show support for Tara, even if you don't go in to see Will."

"Right," Faith says, a little tightly, " you're right". She quietly grits her teeth, and they walk into the hospital.

They find Giles sitting alone in the waiting area. He rises and greets them when he sees them approach.

"I'm glad you could come. Though, actually you can't see her now. She's in ICU. Tara is standing by the observation window, but they won't even let her in." Giles waves them to seats, " it might be best if you all sit."

"Giles, what is it?" Buffy asks, suspiciously, " How is she?"

"It's still touch and go, Buffy" Giles replies, " She's still out…she hasn't regained consciousness yet."

"Was she burned badly in the fire, G?" Faith asks.

" From what I could get from Tara, evidently the fire was small, but just had a lot of smoke, " Giles says, " Part of her condition has to do with smoke inhalation… but, no, that's not why she's in ICU."

"Giles, what is it?" Dawn interjects, " Why is she in ICU?"

"Well, " Giles hesitates, removing his glasses and cleaning them. He's trying to find a way to break it to them, then realizes it's best if he just tells them, " … evidently, Willow attempted suicide last night".

The three of them look at him in shock. This isn't what they expected. They start speaking at once.

" I can't… I don't believe it!" Dawn says, " Willow? Commit…or try to commit suicide? No way!"

" I knew she had issues…." Faith trails off.

" Giles? Do you know what happened?" Buffy asks," What caused…."

"W-We had a f-fight" Tara's voice floats from behind them. They whirl around, and see Tara standing there. Her face is a mixture of bleak, anxious and gloomy." W-We broke up…"

"Tara, I'm so sorry to hear that" Buffy says, " I know Will loves you… what happened?"

Tara looks at Buffy with a strange expression on her face.

" You happened, Buffy" Tara says, quietly. She stands, shoulders hunched, twisting her hands nervously. So many emotions are playing over her face, it's hard to read it.

"I… I'm sorry, Tara, I don't understand?" Buffy says, truly bewildered. " I happened? What does that mean?"

"Yeah, Tara, what does that mean?" Faith asks, vaguely getting the assertion. Maybe, not so vaguely.

" I'm sorry, " Tara says, " It's…It's … I know you didn't do anything to encourage it, Buffy. I'm not blaming you, but … when it came to my relationship with Willow, you were always…there between us."

Buffy turns to Faith, simply looking for an answer. None of this makes sense to her. Faith takes her hand, and then addresses Tara.

" Tara, I think you got this mixed up. Buffy would never do anything to break you and Willow up!" Faith asserts.

" Yes, of course, "Tara says, " Buffy wouldn't do anything consciously to come between us, I know that. But Buffy, didn't you ever notice how… attentive Willow was to you?".

Buffy shakes her head, " No, Tara, Will and I are friends. Best friends, sure, I'm beginning to remember that. We shared a lot of confidences, but…it was never anything more than that."

" Maybe for you, Buffy," Tara says, " but not for Willow. She always saw it as… more. To her, you always meant more. It was almost… an obsession with her, Buffy. "

" That's her problem, Tara, " Faith interjects, " Not Buffy's. Buffy didn't do squat to encourage her in her… well, you said it, obsession. What's she supposed to do, Tara? Stop talking to Willow?"

"N-N-No, of course not, " Tara says," I'm not trying to blame anyone here. I'm just trying to explain why we…I broke up with her. I always feel I'm number 2 behind Buffy. Before Buffy died, it wasn't so bad. But since Buffy died, and after…well, she brought you back, Buffy, it's been different… a lot worse. She was fixated on the idea of bringing you back… even though it involved Dark arts. At first, I didn't want to do it," Tara says. Buffy gives her a strange look, " No… I'm glad you're back, believe me… but I… what she had to do to bring you back is… terrible. I read up on it, and some of the rituals are…" Tara shudders, not wanting to talk about them, "… I finally went along, because I hoped it would… ease her preoccupation with you. But that didn't happen. When you came back, without you're memory, she…became possessed on finding a way to return your memory. She tried a lot of spells, in secret, but they didn't work. She… finally turned to the dark arts again."

" What do you mean, Tara?" Giles asks, his expression worried.

" She did lots of research, and finally came across this book, " **_Inconcessus quod ignotus veneficus_**". I found it the other day, and just the… feel of the emanations coming from it made me … ill." Tara looks at the group.

"My god, " Giles says, his face going pale, " what the hell was she playing at? That book is… evil. The magicks detailed in that book are the darkest magicks known. They call upon powers that are blasphemous and corrupt. Please tell me she didn't actually attempt any of those spells!"

" What's the deal, Giles?" Buffy asks, " I don't speak…whatever that language is. What does it mean?"

" The title roughly translates into " Forbidden and Secret Magicks". The title understates the … obscenities written in that book, " Giles says. He turns to Tara, " Do you know what happened to the book?"

"N-n-no… I don't remember seeing it when I came back. B-but I was more worried about Willow…" Tara says, trailing off. Buffy picks up on this, and comes over and hugs Tara.

" Of course you were, Tara," She says quietly, embracing the distraught woman, " God, Giles, it's a book. Let it go… we'll find it later".

" Buffy, that was more than just a book, " Giles says, seriously," that 'book' was triply cursed. It contained a dark evil entrapped within it. If somehow it got released…"

" G, for god's sake, I'm pretty sure Red didn't take time to do spells, " Faith says , a little harshly at his insensitivity, " The girl was trying to end her life… I don't thinking anything… " but she's cut off when a force like a hammer hits her in the back, knocking her into the closest wall. She slides down the wall, stunned.

" Never much on the thinking, were you, Faith?" Willow says, mockingly. She seems to have appeared out of nowhere.

"Faith!" Buffy cries, running over to the stunned slayer. She kneels down beside her to check on her.

" Willow!" The remaining three say in unison, stunned by her sudden appearance… they stare at her, amazed.

Willow is floating a few inches off the floor, facing the group. Her appearance has changed, radically. Her hair is black, her eyes… black… her whole aspect seems dark. Even her clothing… is black. Her arms, visible under her half sleeves, show long angry welts from where she cut herself. She looks around at the stunned group slowly, a sardonic smile on her face.

" Well, isn't this touching?" her tone is sarcastic, " All my friends have come to see me. I'm touched. I'm sure you're tired… must've been up all night?" She queries, looking around, " No, well, sleep anyway!" She waves her hand, and everyone except Tara drops to the floor, unconscious.

Willow floats over to Tara, then drops gently to the floor. Her expression softens.

" Hello, baby. Are you ok?" She asks, gently, " You look… tired". She reaches out and touches Tara's face.

Tara flinches.

Willow looks at her arm, seeing the gash still visible, an angry red color.

" Ooops," Willow says," Forgot". She waves her hand, and the gashes fade and disappear from her arms." There, that's better!" She smiles at Tara.

"W-Willow?" Tara asks, nervously. She's afraid… very afraid.

"Tara? What's wrong?" Willow asks, sensing Tara's fright. Then it dawns on her, " Oh… my true aspect. Of course, it's a bit radical, huh?" She gently places the tip of her forefinger to Tara's head and says quietly " See me with your heart".

Willow seems to shimmer and change before Tara's eyes. She changes from all black and dark into the more familiar Willow. Red hair, green eyes, dressed in her usual colorful clothing.

" There, better?" Willow smiles. Even though she looks like the old Willow, her voice is still different. The quality is deeper, darker.

" Willow?" Tara says, still frightened, but eased a little by Willow looking like Willow, " What happened? You were… near death…."

" Pish tosh, " Willow says, lightly, " I was… kinda bad, but I'm all better now!" She twirls around, almost coquettishly, " don't you think?"

"W-W-Willow…w-what's going on?" Tara says, her voice a little shaky still, " I… I don't understand any of this!"

" No, I guess you wouldn't" Willow says, quietly, " I know now how bad I've treated you. How screwed up my priorities were. But … it's all clear now. So very clear now" Willow says, " I love you, Tara, so much. I nearly lost you, because I was so blind. I … I need to talk to you, but not here… " Willow's face hardens a little, " Not with these people about" She almost spits out the words, as if they're distasteful to her. She reaches out her hand to Tara, but Tara cringes a little. Willow looks upset.

"Tara, do you love me?" Willow asks, her voice expressing hurt, " even a little bit?"

" Of c-course I do, Willow," Tara says, truthfully.

" Do you trust me?" Willow asks.

Tara hesitates. All this is frightening, but in a way very exciting, also. She's in a quandary. She loves Willow with all her heart, but … this woman… is it Willow? She's so strange… frightening, yet… seductive…

"Tara," Willow says, soothingly, " I'd never do anything to hurt you. Take my hand".

Tara looks at Willow's outstretched hand. She wavers.

"Please, Tara, " Willow is almost begging, " I want to take you somewhere beautiful and special".

Tara makes her decision. She takes Willow's hand.

Willow smiles, and suddenly bands of sparks surround them, growing brighter and brighter.

When the bands fade, so do Tara and Willow.

* * *

The first to awaken from the spell if Faith. She fells like she's been hit by a diesel truck, and then for good measure, some kind soul came along and beat on her head with a 20 pound sledge. She groans a little, and opens her eyes. She is not a happy camper.

The others stir around her, looking dazed and confused. Buffy, who's next to her, checks Faith to be sure she's ok, then goes over and checks on Dawn. Giles, his glasses a bit awry, stands up and takes a moment to straighten up.

"What the hell was that?" Faith asks, " Looked like Red, hit like a freight train. Except, didn't look like Red. Her hair was all black…hell…she looked like…"

"Something out of a really bad horror movie" Dawn finishes. She's standing next to Buffy, who's still fussing over her a bit, " I thought she was going to be throwing fireballs any second."

" I fear that whatever dark force was trapped in that book has been released… into Willow" Giles says, rubbing his head.

Buffy looks around, her face concerned. "Where's Tara?"

Everybody looks around, not seeing her. a general anxiety descends on the group.

" Red, or whatever she is … must've taken her" Faith says, worriedly

" Willow wouldn't harm Tara" Dawn says, but her voice isn't as confident as her statement.

"Yeah… but was the really Will?" Buffy asks, " She looked like her… sorta… but she didn't act like her."

Giles, looking around, speaks up, " Maybe we should take this to a more… private location?". Everyone becomes aware that they are the subject of furtive looks and some stares.

"Meet at the Magic Box?" Buffy asks, calling to Giles.

"Yes… yes, that should be fine" Giles replies over his shoulder. He appears distracted.

On the drive to the Magic Box, Faith feels her stomach churning. _What is it? Why does it always go this way? Just as things are going good, something's gotta come along and screw it all up! Bad enough when it's an anonymous big bad, but now we got Willow going postal?_ Faith shakes her head, trying to shake off the thought. No real choice, just gotta take care of the mess… again.

" Faith, what is it?" Buffy asks, looking at Faith. The expression on Faith's face worries her. It's not angry, it's more … desolate.

" It's nothing really , B" Faith says, turning the car towards sidewalk to park.

" C'mon, Faith. We agreed. We talk about stuff bothering us, " Buffy says, " What's bothering you?"

Faith parks the car, and then leans on the steering wheel. Her voice carries a note of gloom. She turns to Buffy.

" Why is it when things just seem to be going right, you, me and Dawn are doing good, something's gotta crap on us? It seems our life is one crisis after the next, " Faith says, despondently, " Once, just once, I'd like things to just go normal. Have the normal problems like not enough money, or something like that. But no, we gotta go fight something that probably'll wind up causing us more pain, and maybe kill us. I'm just tired, I guess, " Faith says, her voice reflecting how weary she really is. Not waiting for an answer, she gets out of the car.

She finds herself surrounded by two people who love her very much. Buffy and Dawn are on each side of her, hugging her tightly.

" It's gonna be ok, Faith, I promise" Buffy says quietly, trying to bolster her partner, " As long as we're together, it doesn't matter what happens, cuz we got each other." She leans her head on Faith's shoulder. Dawn doesn't say anything, she says it all with her hug. Faith is overwhelmed. It's a perfect moment for her, and she doesn't want it to end. It's one of the very, very few in her life, and she treasures it more than anything. She has her family, and feels complete. She's ready for whatever comes now.

Arm and arm, the three of them walk towards the Magic Box.

* * *

Tara realizes they're not in Sunnydale anymore. In what seems like less time than it takes to blink, they are on a hilltop, overlooking the town. She feels a little disoriented, and her knees give out from under her. Willow catches her, and gently sets her down.

"W-W-Where are we?" Tara asks, nervously. She's still feeling light-headed from the trip.

" Just away, sweetie," Willow says, " Away from any distractions. A nice place to talk".

"W-What do you want to talk about?" Tara asks. She's not so sure she really wants to know.

"About us, Tara. Our future" Willow says. She still has the glamour going, and looks like the Willow Tara knows.

" Willow, " Tara says, " what about our future? It seems last night you were ready to toss away any future we might possibly have… why'd you do that? Try to hurt yourself…kill yourself?".

" I was desperate, and foolish, " Willow says, " I thought I'd failed. But it wasn't me that failed… they failed". She looks down at Sunnydale below, her look hardening." They kept me from seeing what was really important. They kept me from realizing how important you were to me, " Willow's voice sounds harsh, angry, " but they failed. I realize now that they're unimportant … I … we don't need them. They're nothing … a blot, a stain. I want… need … to get rid of the stain."

W-Willow… who're you talking about?" Tara is getting more frightened by the minute.

"Them, " Willow says, waving her arms towards Sunnydale, " All of them. God, I was so blind. So blind. But I can see so clearly now, it's all so… sharp, in focus now. They're useless… nothings… leeches upon the earth. They take everything, and give nothing back. They've tried to keep me from the truth… tried to keep me down, not realize my full power, my full potential. All of them, down there, hurting me, picking on me… using me," She turns towards Tara, and her eyes have gone black. She walks over to Tara, sits down next to her. She takes her hand. " They're afraid of me, Tara. Afraid I'd find out what my real purpose is, afraid I'd find my power."

Tara withdraws her hand, pulling back, " You're scaring me, Willow".

Willow reaches out, and touches Tara's face. Tara flinches. Willow frowns, but her voice remains calm, almost gentle.

" Tara, honey, please, " Willow says, " I'm not like… 'Evil'. I'm… justice" Willow says, trying to calm Tara, " I have to give them what they've earned, Tara. What they deserve. How will they learn, otherwise? I have to do what needs to be done."

"What are you going to do, Willow?" Tara asks, guardedly. She's getting a bad feeling, a very bad feeling.

"Punish them, Tara, " Willow says, " make them pay for their sins. What they've done to me, to you, to others like us. Hound us, torture us, abuse us. Use us when they need us, then toss us away like yesterday's garbage. No, Tara, I'm not evil, " Willow says, her tone hostile, " they're evil. They're scum. They sicken me. They've gotta pay". She looks off in the distance, as if contemplating what she's going to do. Her face is cold , hard, unyielding.

Tara gets up, walks away from Willow. She can't sit by her any longer. The hate, the anger rolling off of her is debilitating. She feels as if her soul is being sucked from her. She shudders.

" Willow, what're you thinking?" Tara asks, upset, " punish them? For what? For living? They're innocents. Sometimes they do foolish, hurtful things, but they're basically good. I don't understand why you have to 'punish' them. This is wrong, Willow. Very wrong!".

"That's what I love most about you, Tara, " Willow says, her face a little sad, " Even at their worst, you find such goodness in your own heart, you can't imagine anyone having evil in theirs. Innocent? Hardly. They only care about themselves, Tara. They only think of themselves. Their needs, their wants. If you get in their way, they'll do whatever it takes to destroy you. They're so narcissistic. If you're a little different from them, they attack you, make you feel like you're dirt. They're selfish, greedy and hateful. They need to be cleansed. They need to suffer, to realize how lucky they are. They need to be punished, before they destroy themselves."

" No, Willow, this is wrong, very wrong, " Tara says, protesting, " They're humans… we're humans… we make mistakes, we do things wrong, but we learn. We become better. How can you be so harsh, so judgmental? Where's your heart, Willow? Where's mercy?"

" Mercy? For them? They don't know the meaning of mercy. You ask where my heart is, but where's their heart?" Willow asks. She sighs. She gets up, and goes to Tara. She puts an arm around her, "This isn't what I want to talk about, Tara. I want to talk about you and me, together. I've got to do this, Tara. I'm sorry, but I've got no choice. Once this is over, however, I want to take you someplace special, someplace wonderful. Where we can be happy together".

" No… NO!" Tara says, shrugging off Willow, " Who are you? you're not Willow. Willow wouldn't do this. She… loves people, loves life. She… couldn't think of 'punishing' others for no reason. I don't know who you are, but you… I don't want to be near you. Take me back … take me BACK!"

"Tara, honey, it IS me, It's Willow, " Willow says, quietly," I've been given a gift. A gift to see things how they really are. I've… I've been through the fire, to temper myself. To make myself strong enough to do what I've gotta do! It's for them, as much as anyone, Tara. How can they be forgiven, if they don't realize their sins, and pay for them?"

" You're… insane! You're not Willow… not the Willow I know, " Tara says, her voice rising." Take me back, now!"

"I'm sorry, Tara, I can't do that, " Willow says, calmly, " I really hoped I could convince you , I didn't want you to have to go through what I did to see… but I guess there's no other way." Her aspect shimmers, and her true form, the Dark form, is revealed. She goes to Tara, and grabs her by the arms. Tara struggles, but Willow… Dark Willow… overpowers her. Tara loses consciousness, and Willow puts her hands to her head. A dark, blackened energy emanates from her palms, and encircles Tara. She begins to waver, as if she'll fall… and Willow gently lowers her to the ground.

" Soon, my love" Willow whispers to the prone Tara, " Soon you'll see as I do. How awful and petty and selfish they are. Then we'll punish them as they deserve." Tara cries out in pain and fear, and Willow soothes her, " Shhh… it's ok, it's ok." She leans over, and kisses Tara on the forehead, stroking her hair.

"Soon, my love, you'll be ready".

* * *

Dawn stares out her window, watching the sunset.

Her face is troubled. Something's been happening to her, something strange. Ever since they heard about Willow this morning, she's been feeling something stirring within her. Something powerful, and scary. She wants to tell somebody; anybody, but she can't. She's afraid they'll dismiss her, not believing her. Worse, they might think she's looking for attention. But she only wants to know what's happening to her.

She feels hot, almost feverishly hot, but she's not sick. She doesn't feel weak; rather she feels as if she's filled with energy. She can almost feel it oozing out of her skin, as if her body is not strong enough to contain it. All of her senses seem sharper, more focused. Things around her seem to be more intense, more defined. And while everything around her seems to be getting more real, she feels less real, less cohesive. As if her body were changing, becoming less solid. She's looked in the mirror, and she looks normal enough, so she knows it can't be really happening. But what IS happening? She doesn't understand what's going on, but she knows it's getting stronger.

All day long she's been having visions. Small images blowing through her brain, so fast she barely has time to register them. But they all seem to be of destruction and death… and center here, in Sunnydale. Scenes of fires, and buildings being destroyed, and people dying. She can't make out anyone clearly, it's all hazy. But she can see it happening, and it's unnerving her. She's afraid she's going mad

She's suddenly hit by a sharp, deep pain. She doubles over, it hurts so badly, and she has another vision. Clearer this time. She can see Willow and Tara on a hill somewhere. Willow is holding Tara, and a black, evil looking energy is surrounding Tara. She can hear Tara calling out in terror and fright, but she can't do anything… she's not real there, is like a ghost… transparent and without form. She can only watch. Watch as Tara writhes on the ground, her body seeming to scream out in agony. Slowly, slowly as time passes, the thrashing lessens, the twitching stops. Finally she is still, and Dawn feels a terrible emptiness in her… and then Tara sits up. She opens her eyes, and they are black.. totally black. Dawn, shocked, retreats…

And finds herself in her room, in pain. She screams, it hurts so badly, then falls to the floor, unconscious.

Buffy and Faith rush in, seeing Dawn on the floor, unconscious. They rush to her, and Faith feels her face.

" B, my god she's burning up. Help me get her in the bed, " Faith barks. Buffy and Faith lift Dawn, and get her in the bed. She seems limp, almost as if she were a wrung out dishrag. She's unconscious, but she keeps mumbling " Tara, Tara, gotta save Tara". Faith goes to call 911

Buffy looks down at Dawn, her expression anxious and scared. Her worry for Dawn is written all over her face. This, on top of everything else that's happened today is just too much.

"What the hell is going on here?" She mutters, waiting for Faith to come back.

* * *

To be continued.


	14. Chapter 14

**Timeless Faith**

By Norwalker

Part 14 of ?

Rating : R for language, sexual situations and violence.

Category: Romance/Angst/Drama

Disclaimer: Most, if not all of the characters depicted here are the property of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, Inc. and Fox. This is a work of fiction; any similarities to anyone living or dead are purely coincidental.

Summary: Third in a series of stories started with " Summer of faith" and continued in "Seasons of faith". In the last book, Buffy died fighting Glorificus, the Hell goddess. This book picks up where that book ended. How does Faith deal with the loss of Buffy? How does life change for the scoobies? Buffy will be with them always, but is there more to it than just memories? Stay tuned.

Spoilers: Possible season 6 and season 7 spoilers. Hope you've watched them by now.

Timeline: Season 6, maybe season 7 and beyond( don't know yet).

WARNING: **_There is always the possibility of major character death_**. Romance between members of the same gender(duh). Sexual situations between members of the same gender. This is an _Alternate Universe_ (AU) story. The real(by the series 'coda' ) relationship between Buffy and Faith never happened here. So if you're looking for the dark, knife wielding, don't give a crap about nothing but me Faith, She's not here.(ok, bit of an exaggeration, as we all know by now that Faith redeemed herself, but the "dark, evil" Faith never got a chance to live here). Violence happens. Adult themes( someday, I plan on being one, too). Sexual situations. All the usual stuff.

* * *

Dawn seems to be floating.

She can't tell where she is, everything is gray and misty. There seems to be no up or down, no direction. Everything just is. It's featureless, formless, and infinite. She can hear the sound of her heart beating loudly in her ears. Tha- thump, tha-thump, tha-thump. Her breathing is slow and steady, but she can feel the air as it races through her, energizing and renewing her.

In what seems to be the center of where she is, a light begins to emerge. It starts out weak at first but then it brightens, until it glows with a blue-white radiance. She finds herself floating towards the light, as if drawn by it's energy, it's purity. It's strange to her, and yet somehow familiar. As she draws nearer, a comfort steals over her, as if she is drawing a sense of serenity and peace from the light. She smiles, because it's beautiful. She draws closer, and the light begins to resolve itself… and she knows… knows it's Tara.

"Dawn," Tara says, reaching out to Dawn. She lays her hands on Dawn's forearms, and draws her close. Dawn feels as if Tara is hugging her and surrounding her with a pure essence all at the same time. It's like a warm, soft mist… but much more, because each little droplet seems to give Dawn joy and calmness.

"Tara?" Dawn asks." Where are we?"

" I don't know… I know I was called here… by you" Tara says, softly.

" How? I don't know how I got here, " Dawn says, " it seems so empty… so big".

" I can only sense, vaguely, it has something to do with you, " Tara says, " You… opened it… as if it's a part of you".

" I… I … don't understand any of it. I felt …something happening to you… I felt you're pain… and I … I'm here," Dawn pauses, " What's going on?"

"Dawn, something is happening to Willow, " Tara says, concerned but calm, " Something…dark has taken her essence, melded with her."

" I know… I felt it" Dawn says, also calm, " I … felt it somehow… and I felt it take you".

" Not me, not my essence. I'm trapped within… the darkness has my body, my outer thoughts… but I'm fighting it…" Tara says, " Willow was to weakened to fight it".

"What is it?" Dawn asks, her concern floating softly in her voice.

" Something old, something dark…" Tara says, " Something that seems to be a distillation of hatred, pain and vengeance… and more… so much more…I'm afraid too look to closely… it's strong, and it wants me."

" No… Tara…you … can't let it have you!" Dawn says, feeling panic for the first time, " It'll… devour you".

" I know, Dawnie, it's ok, I'm fighting against it," Tara reassures her, " but it controls my body and parts of my conscious mind. It's part of whatever has Willow," Tara says. Her expression changes… to one of anxiety, " I've gotta go, Dawnie. It… senses my absence. I've gotta get back…you've got to warn the others. It plans to do terrible things…terrible things…" The light begins to fade.

" No…Tara… don't go… I don't understand, " Dawn says, " Why me? Why come to me?"

" It's you, Dawnie… it's … you… you're the one … " Tara says… and the light fades away.

"No… NO… TARA….." Dawn cries out. " Come back….I don't understand… don't leave me…. Tara…

* * *

Dawn sits bolt upright in the bed. She's screaming out Tara's name.

"TARA… TARA … YOU COME BACK!!!!" Dawn screams. Buffy and Faith, who were half drowsing in the chairs, jump out of them and come to Dawn's bedside.

" Dawn… Dawn, it's ok, it's ok honey" Faith says, trying to soothe the upset girl.

" Dawnie, it was just a dream, baby, " Buffy says, holding her sister back from trying to climb out of the bed.

Dawn struggles a little, then lies back, looking around. This isn't her room. Where is she?

" Where, … where am I?" Dawn asks, feeling disoriented, " I was in my room…."

" You're in the hospital, Dawn, " Buffy says, " you passed out, had a high fever… we brought you here."

" You scared us shitless, P-nut, " Faith smiles, " Don't do that… ok?"

" No, I'm fine, I'm fine!" Dawn says, trying to rise. She halfway makes it, gets dizzy, and falls back. "Ok, maybe "fine" is too strong a word, " She says, a little weakly, " But … Tara… something's … happened to her … Willow's done something to her … we've gotta help her!".

The two slayers look at each other. They turn back to Dawn.

" Dawn, you've been in and out of a delirium for the last few days," Buffy says, gently," You probably were just having a dream."

" NO! It's not a dream!" Dawn insists, angrily, " Just before this… happened… I … felt something happen to Tara. I felt a huge pain… her pain… something was … taking her… and then I passed out from the pain… and then I was talking to her…." Dawn looks at the two women, who are looking worried.

"Dawn… honey, " Faith says gently, " you …. You had appendicitis. You're appendix burst… that was the pain you felt".

"No…no…" Dawn says, unbelieving, " It was more than that… I felt the pain gnawing at her soul.. as if something were trying to … destroy who she is… and she warned me… something bad is coming… ".

" Dawn… it was just the fever playing tricks on you…" Buffy says, gently, " you've been really sick for 3 days."

" No… you've got to listen to me!" Dawn says, feverishly. " It's important!".

" Dawn, get some rest, " Buffy says, quietly, trying to ease Dawn back into the bed, "It'll be better in the morning…"

Without warning the two slayers are shoved violently from the bed, then slowly float up…as if lifted by two giant hands.

Dawn, sitting on the bed… seems less.. substantial, somehow. Her basic form is there, but it's surrounded by a green energy, and it seems to waver in and out, as if not quite in phase with the rest of reality. Dawn's eyes glow green.

" I said, you must listen!" Dawn says, but it's not her voice. The voice is almost baritone, and has an unearthly quality to it.

" Holy crap, what's going on?" Faith says, floating in the air, looking a bit queasy.

" How in hell should I know?" Buffy answers, irritably. She addresses Dawn, " Who ARE you?"

" I am… as I was made, " comes the answer, " It would take too long to explain. It's imperative that you take heed of the warning!"

" Where's Dawn?" Faith asks, " If you've hurt her…."

" What? What're you going to do, mortal one?" It asks. " Dawn is here, with me, safe. I'm what was before the monks made me into Dawn. We are one."

The slayers look open-mouthed at Dawn…or whatever she is." The Key." They say as one.

Dawn, or what is with her, looks at the slayers, her eyes burning bright. " That is what Glorificus called me. But I'm more than a "Key". I am the one that rises and falls… the balance".

The slayers look confused.

" I was created by the forces of light and darkness. I'm neutral, I'm neither of one side, or the other. I exist" The figure says, "to keep the energies balanced… between light and darkness, order and chaos. What you call ' Good ' and ' Evil".

"Wait a minute!" Faith speaks up. All this is way too esoteric for her liking, " You're Dawn… P-nut… you're Buffy's little sister… what the hell is this all about?".

" The aspect of me, that you call Dawn… that was created by the monks that guarded me… is mortal. She will live, grow and die, like any human, but I will continue … go on, past her death" the glow says. " That who you call Dawn is barely aware of me".

" But Glory said…" Buffy starts, but is interrupted.'

" Glorificus is… was… a minor deity… barely more than what you are… she could only see a tiny aspect of me… she had no awareness of what I truly am."

" Ok, glow worm, still not getting it here, " Faith pipes up, "What exactly ARE you?"

" I do believe humans are probably the densest of species, but I'll try to draw you a picture, " The glow says, sounding amazingly like Dawn, " The universe is created of dark and light energies. To retain the balance, to keep it from destroying itself, the balance between these energies must be maintained. I and the others like me… yes, there are others like me… we do that. We control the flow of those energies, and … how to put this? Absorb the overbalance. We tap into all dimensions to keep it flowing properly. That is how we have ability to open portals… but usually on a plane that won't be affected by the disruption."

" You coming back from the dead, " It pointed at Buffy, " caused a disturbance…an overbalance on the light side. This has to be corrected. However, the mortal one… the witch? … has again thrown off the balance, this time other way. You mortals seem to have a real talent for shaking things up, I have to admit. So, I've been called upon to restore the balance."

" How?" Both the slayers ask , together.

" Unfortunately, this mortal form has limited my abilities, " It says, " I have power, but not what I would have in my real form".

" Hold on, " Faith says, suspiciously, " what exactly are you thinking?" She eyes the … glow …. suspiciously.

" No, I'm not going to do that, " The glow says, " the monks created the … form… out of me. If I tried to destroy it, I would destroy myself. I just… will need help, is all".

Buffy looks at Faith, then herself, and then back at the … light. " Ummm… doesn't seem you need much help".

"This… darkness is old… it's powerful. It's bound with the witch, so it, like myself, is weaker. But I still need to have it …distracted… if I'm going to … rebalance it in the flow of things, " the glow says.

"I'm guessing here… that would be us?" Faith interjects.

" That would be you, " The glow agrees, " So, are we agreed then?"

"We have a choice?" Buffy queries. She finds herself lifted higher, and a not unpleasant, but not pleasant tingle goes through her, " Didn't think so."

" I can't force you to … cooperate, " The glow says, " But if you don't… I can't help you, either".

" Just a tiny bit of extortion there, glow worm??" Faith says, cynically. Suddenly both slayers are dropped unceremoniously to the floor. After they shake off the surprise they look at each other… a bit bemusedly.

" Ok, ok… we get it. We agree," Buffy says. " Why do I think we're gonna regret this?" She says, addressing Faith.

" Ummm… past experience?" Faith cracks.

" Good then. It's not time yet, but soon, very soon, " The glow warns, " get prepared."

When the slayers lift themselves up off the floor, things are back to normal. The glow surrounding Dawn is gone, and she's lying back on the bed, passed out. Her face is flushed, and her hair is matted by sweat. Buffy and Faith, still feeling the effects of the ' drop', walk over and get her situated back in the bed. They look down at her, and all that is left is a very ill young woman. They look at each other, wondering if they imagined it. They look down, and Dawn's eyes are wide open. They are glowing slightly green.

They both feel a little chill of fear.

* * *

Giles is just closing up the Magic Box.

He is getting ready to head over to Buffy's to check on Dawn. It's been quite a stress laden few days, with Dawn having her appendix burst. For a bit, it was touch and go; the infection had spread in her system. But the doctors were able to beat it back, and she was on the road to recovery… so they declared, anyway. Both Faith and Buffy had spent most of their time with Dawn, sitting by her bedside. She'd been in and out of delirium the last few days. But then she took a turn for the better, and she recovered enough that they released her this morning. He also wants to check in with the slayers, see if there's been any leads on Willow and Tara. They've been missing for nearly a week, and Giles is clearly worried.

Anya is at the cash register, counting the money, humming a little tune. It always gives her great pleasure to count the day's receipts. It's been a fairly profitable day; something in the air was encouraging even the novice practitioners to hoard up on supplies. She, of course, thought most of the stuff hooey. Being a 1000 year old ex- vengeance demon gives her a rather unique perspective on magic. She knew it's real, but most of the practitioners could barely float a pencil. Most just dabble, and didn't really have a talent for the art. The only two witches she could think of that have any real mojo… Willow and Tara… well, they're good guys, right? Only do the magic stuff for good causes. Still, the power she felt off them, especially Willow, gives her pause. _ Witches are so unpredictable. Anything can set them off._ She thinks to herself as she started bundling the days receipts for deposit.

" Anything, Anya?" A voice … a familiar voice… interrupts Anya's thoughts. She looks up, and the smiling visage of Willow was staring her in the face. Next to her is Tara. Something's odd though…their eyes….all black…

Willow makes a gesture, and Anya finds herself flying up, and being stuck to a wall behind the counter. She manages to shout out, " Giles" just before she hits her head, and losing consciousness.

Giles is up, and down front in a minute.

"What's going on here?" He asks… then sees Willow and Tara, and stops.

" Oh, oh, daddy's home" Willow says, sarcastically.

" I guess we're just going to have to give him his surprise early, Willow, " Tara says. They join hands.

" _Inquam vobis exsisto reus_" Willow says, and a bolt of energy flies out from her fingers, encircling Giles. The binding spell lifts him off the floor suspending him a foot off the ground.

Willow goes to him, and walks around the floating Giles, smiling sardonically. She pokes at the energy surrounding him, it almost has a gel like texture.

" He looks almost peaceful, doesn't he?" She says, staring at Giles. She mutters something under her breath, then puts her hand to the energy. A dark energy seems to penetrate the shell, and you can see the expression of pain on Giles' face. He doesn't make a sound.

" What, Rupert? No words of reprimand for me?" Willow says, mockingly, " I mean, I'm being a bad girl, aren't I? Using magic, and all. What did you call me? A bloody fool? Well, well.. look who's looking like a fool now, Rupert," She says, touching the barrier again…and again sending shock waves through Giles. " Just think, I once actually admired you. I thought you knew so much, had so much to teach me, " Willow gives him a scornful and pitying look, " What I didn't realize is that you were jealous of me. Jealous cuz I had the real power. But then I guess it always kind of bothered you, didn't it Rupert? Having to stand back and let the people with any real ability get the credit. Must have irked the hell out of you. Putting in all that time, learning all that… and watching some teenager take all the credit. Tsk , tsk , tsk. Must really get your goat, eh Giles?

Fired from your cushy Watcher's job, lost your job as librarian… now in retail… sorta… anyone else would see it as going backwards… And the capper, Rupert? Two, not one, but two, who at best only half listen to you. Life sucks, eh Rupert?"

Rupert replies, through supreme effort, " Better, I guess, than being a jealous little twit who's been the sideman all her life".

The comment takes her by surprise, and for a moment Willow's eyes flare, but then she just smiles.

" Well… not the sideman anymore, Rupert" She says. She hits him with a sustained bolt of energy, and he falls to the ground, " Nope… not the sideman anymore." She turns her attention to the 'forbidden' books kept high on the upper level. Waving her arms, she directs the books to the table in the back area. She walks over to the table, and the books fly open. She places her hands on the books, and the arcane and forbidden magicks held within start to be absorbed by the demon within.

Tara, from the front of the shop, watches the action impassively. At least, on the surface she appears calm. But inside there is a fight for her life…and her soul. Despite the Willow-thing's machinations, and the demon that she infested her with, she slowly, slowly is beginning to beat it back. It still controls her functions, her reactions, but she's gaining ground on it, driving it back… but it's hard, hard work, and painfully exhaustive. It's a struggle, yet she must retain an outer calm, and shield her thoughts, so 'Willow' won't sense what she's doing. It becomes particularly difficult when she has to watch 'Willow' attack friends … like Anya and Giles … and feel helpless to stop her. But until she can control the thing that has her body, she has to bide her time… fight … hope she'll have time to do something.

She's seeing things about Willow… the real Willow underneath that thing that has her… that're scaring her. She can feel her anger, frustration and resentment. She'd never seen these things in Willow… not to this degree. Or, maybe she hadn't wanted to see them. Hadn't looked for them, because she only wanted to see the brighter side. It makes her question if she really ever knew Willow … or just saw what she wanted to see. She knows the darkness within her, the evil she released by burning that book, is in control of her. But she also wonders how much of that darkness was already there?

Tara feels a break within her… a sudden dizziness. She almost collapses… and catches herself on the counter. As she leans, she realizes…she's back in control… whatever was in her has been shoved down. Quietly, but quickly she casts a potent binding spell on it. She doesn't want it reasserting itself. She then casts a small glamour spell on herself, so she'll look and sound like the demon that possessed her. Now she just has to shield her thoughts…

" I think we're done here" Willow says, coming over to Tara." I'm in the mood for a nice, roaring fire". Willow conjures a fireball, bouncing it playfully in her hand. "What do you think? A little barbeque? You know, toast some of the weenies that're bothering me". She looks pointedly at Giles.

"Wait!" Tara says, staying her hand. Willow looks at her, an odd expression on her face, " I mean, maybe best to not burn them right now. Tip off the Slayers a bit early."

"…and I should care because…?" Willow asks, unconcerned, " not as if they can stop me!".

" You know how they are about Dawn, though," Tara says, " They might decide now would be a good time for the three of them to disappear. Besides, we might still need Giles for help with some of the more obscure magicks you'll need to cast for …" Willow interrupts her.

" Naw, I don't think so, " Willow allows her glamour drop again, and Tara nearly gasps. Where before her aspect was dark, she's now nearly absorbing light… and her face is covered in angry looking dark veins. Her eyes have a reddish cast… almost like blood. Her voice has changed again, it's deeper, more alien still." I think I've got all I need", Willow chuckles, and the fireball she's been bouncing expands… she tosses it, setting the building on fire. Tara, as Willow watches the flames, carefully casts a protection spell on Anya and Giles, hoping her power is enough to shield them from the flames." Bored now" Willow says, her tone flat. She looks at Tara, and smiles … which gives Tara a bad case of the wiggins, " let's go have some real fun". She takes Willow's hand, and the air about her seems to shimmer, and clouds and lightning seem to revolve around them. In a blink, they're gone.

Giles wakes first, and is shocked out of his stupor. The shop's on fire… Willow. His countenance sets, he starts for the door. The protection spell around him drops, and he's overcome with the heat and smoke. Choking, taking out his handkerchief, he covers his mouth and makes his way through the burning building, trying to avoid the hot spots. As he passes the counter, he sees a pair of feet sticking out, and goes over, seeing Anya lying behind it. Already weakened from Willow's little game, and the smoke, he nevertheless stoops and picks up the unconscious girl, and struggling a bit, manages to maneuver her over his shoulder. At that moment, a beam falls at the front of the store, blocking that exit. He looks around, and notices the rear exit still seems unblocked, so he makes his way in that direction. Just as he makes it through the backroom door, another burning beam falls, blocking access to the store. " Bloody hell, " he swears to himself._ If I'd been out another minute or two longer, we'd be… _He doesn't finish that thought, just moving quickly to exit. He manages to get out into the alley, and pauses to take in clean air. He leans briefly against the building, but a loud crash startles him, and , re-shouldering Anya, negotiates his way out of the alley. Coming around to the front, he carefully sets her down, and checks her pulse. She seems ok, just unconscious still. Her eyes begin to flutter, and she opens them, groaning.

" What happened?" She asks, sitting up. Then she smells the smoke, and looks over to see the Magic Box burning. Her eyes go wide, " What… who did that?" She asks, looking at Giles.

"Willow, I fear" Giles says, his voice grim.

" Willow?, " Anya looks puzzled, " I remember I was thinking about her… and then she was there, grinning at me… and then I don't remember anything!".

" That's probably because you were insensible" Giles says, quietly. " She put a binding spell on me, then absorbed all the dark magicks from the restricted volumes on the upper shelves. Then this." He watches as the flames consume the building. In the background the emergency vehicles' sirens can be heard wailing. Anya, still a little unsteady, stands up and leans on Giles, watching her dreams burn.

What did you do?" Anya says, matter- of -factly.

"What?" Giles says, turning to her, "What did _ I_ do?"

"Well, you must've angered her in some way", Anya says, pulling no punches, as if what she's saying is indisputable, " How did you do that? I mean, why would she burn the Magic Box otherwise?" Anya sighs, as if it's all such a burden explaining it to Giles, " Don't you know it's never a good idea to piss off a witch?"

Giles looks at her sternly, " I'll have you know this is because of her fooling with things she doesn't understand, " Giles says, irritably and possibly a little defensively, " She's been possessed by some dark demon … perhaps someone of your former acquaintance? She's on a rampage… there's no telling what she'll do."

"Well, if it were me, and I just got hopped up on dark magic, " Anya says, "I'd probably go looking for someone who really…."

"… angered me. Faith." Giles finishes. He reaches for his cell phone, then realizes it must have dropped out of his pocket in the confusion. He looks around for a public phone, but doesn't see one. " Bloody hell… where's a call box when you need one?" He reaches into his pocket, extracts his car keys, " No time to look. We'll have to head over there, give them a warning."

The two of them take off as the fire engines pull up in front of the Magic Box.  


* * *

  
  
"I'm FINE!" Dawn protests, as Buffy tries to get her to take her pills. She is more than a little cranky after being cooped up for the last few days, " I don't need anymore of that!"

" P-nut, you were pretty damned sick" Faith says, leaning on the door jamb, watching Buffy TRY to get Dawn to cooperate with some amusement. Buffy gives Faith a look as if to say " Help me here!". Faith is enjoying it too much to interfere.

" Dawn, if you don't take the pills, I'm going to take you back to the hospital. Is that what you want?" Buffy says, getting irked. " I'm not about to have you relapse and scare me half to death again!"

" Fine, fine, fine, "Dawn says, accepting the pills and water, " They taste ucky." She swallows the pills, making a face.

"Good, now get some rest, you're still not 100% yet" Buffy fusses, patting the bed, " You need to get well."

"God, Buffy, I've been doing nothing but lying down for the last few days," Dawn says, complaining, " I'm not even sure if I can remember how to walk! This is totally bogus".

" No, it's bogus you being so sick, " Buffy says, " this is what you gotta do to be … ummm… un-sick".

Dawn makes an impatient noise, and mutters something under her breath. She lies down, turning away from the slayers.

" I'm sorry, " Buffy says, her patience wearing razor thin, " I didn't hear that!"

" I said, " Dawn, louder this time, " I liked you a whole lot better when you couldn't remember anything". She turns her back on Buffy, who glares at her.

_I wonder if Braticide is a crime in this state? _ Buffy thinks, seriously pissed at her sister. She sighs, picks up the glass and heads for the door, giving Faith a killing look as she leaves.

Faith, totally amused to this point, follows Buffy out.

"What?" Faith asks, really knowing what.

" You could've helped, you know, " Buffy says, a little exasperated, " She listens to you, God knows why. "

"Maybe cuz I'm not her older, annoying sister?" Faith says, grinning at Buffy's back.

Buffy whirls on her, her face flushed red. Faith, surprised, steps back a pace. " Whoa, B, calm down!".

" Calm down my ass, Faith!" Buffy says, clearly angry, " she nearly died. What's your deal, anyway? Don't you give a damn?"

" Hey!" Faith says, her expression instantly turning serious, " that's totally unfair. Yeah, I was scared, but it doesn't help getting all angry and everything. Try to take the stick out of your butt, ok?".

" Stick in my butt, huh?" Buffy retorts, "Well, that'd be an improvement over the two pains in my butt I got now!"

Faith looks at her. She's been trying to keep cool, keep things light because she knows Buffy's been worried sick over Dawn, and what's happened to Willow and Tara. But it's been tense for her too, and she's been worried over Dawn. She throws up her hand and makes an impatient noise.

" God, P-nut's right, " Faith says, angrily, " You were a whole lot easier to get along with when you didn't remember squat!". Not waiting for an answer, she storms downstairs.

" Faith!" Buffy calls out, " C'mon, I'm sorry… Faith!" But Faith's gone. _ I don't even know why I got so angry with her. Damn._ Buffy runs downstairs after Faith, trying to catch up with her. She hears the front door slam, then a few seconds later, she hears Faith's bike roar to life._ Aw, shit!_ Buffy runs out the front door, and manages to catch Faith before she takes off.

" C'mon, Faith, I'm sorry," Buffy says, her tone conciliatory, " I've just been worried and upset with everything that's going on". She leans in on Faith, and strokes her finger on Faith's sleeve, " Don't be all upset and grouchy, " Buffy says, her tone girlish and flirty, " though, you're kinda cute when you're all hot and bothered, " She breathes into Faith's ear.

Faith is all too aware what Buffy's doing, and is a hair thin line from giving in, " Stop it, B. This isn't helping, " She says, her voice a little harsh on the edges, " I'm damned worried, too. I've been tryin' to keep cool, but it aint easy, ya know?" She turns of the bike's engine, and turns to Buffy… who's incredibly close…_God, not fair making it this hard!_ " B, I've been scared sick about P-nut, whether you realize it or not… and whatever the hell that was at the hospital? Totally freaked me out!".

" I know… I know" Buffy says, trying to soothe Faith, but freaked a little herself, " first time Dawn's ever scared me silly… that I remember, anyway."

" Yeah, well, what's weirder is she's acting like it didn't happen… like she don't remember nothing about it" Faith says, " It DID happen, right?".

" Well… yeah" Buffy says, " I mean, I'm pretty sure it did, " Buffy says, not all that sure herself, " But we both saw it, it couldn't be like a dream, could it?"

" I've got a bruise from where it dropped me, I'm pretty sure it happened… I just wish I knew what the hell it meant, what we're supposed to do… or when Red is gonna attack, or something!". Buffy stiffens a little.

" How do you know Will's gonna attack?" Buffy says, " I mean… it's Willow, for god's sake, she's not like… evil dead, or something." _ Blair witch, maybe._

" Ok, were you in the hospital hallway where I was when … god, I don't even know what to call her anymore, Red seems wrong, now… anyway, she hit me like a diesel, B, " Faith says, " That wasn't any love tap she gave me… or you, for that matter."

" Yeah… but that wasn't Will… something's taken her over, I know it!" Buffy says, adamantly, " Willow wouldn't do… that stuff."

" It talked like her, it … well, sorta looked like her. A duck's a duck, B" Faith insists, " I don't know what her deal is, but it doesn't look like fun and games and puppies."

" That's not her, " Buffy persists, stubbornly, " you heard what… Dawn said. It's something old and Evil in her. We gotta beat that…".

" Buffy, " Faith says, gently, " We might not get a choice on who we… take out. IF it's part of her, we might have to …."

"NO!" Buffy says, " Will's a person, a human… I can't kill her!".

" Buffy, " Faith repeats, her tone quiet but grave.

"That's…WILL!" Buffy says, excitedly, " She's.. she's…" her tone falters, " She's my best friend, Faith!".

" I know, Buffy," Faith says softly, trying to comfort her, " But if it comes down to it…."

" I just can't come down to it, we've got to figure another way!" Buffy says, " Tara's with her. She might've turned Tara too. Could you kill Tara, the way you feel about her?" Buffy challenges.

" I don't want to hurt Tara, Buffy, " Faith says, quietly but firmly, " I don't want to hurt Red, either. But if it comes to it, Buffy, if she threatens or tries to harm you, or Dawn… or she starts some world-endie thing and I've got no choice…I'm sorry, Buffy, but it's gonna happen".

"I'm sorry, I can't just do that, " Buffy says, turning her back, " you can't ask me to!". She stands there a second, thinking, then turns back around, " If it were you, Faith… should I kill you?"

Faith pauses, then says quietly, " Yes, Buffy, you should."

" And if it were me?" Buffy asks, looking at Faith.

Faith hesitates. She … can't even think of that. She turns away, and starts her bike's engine again." This is pointless , B. It's a guessing game. It's not you, or me, or Dawn. It's Red. Get used to it!"

Buffy , arms crossed, stands looking at her.

" This is …going nowhere. We both need to think. I'll be back in half an hour or so" Faith says, Starting to roll off. Buffy stands there, watching her, angry… she hears a noise behind her, and whirls. Willow's standing there, accompanied by Tara. Both look… scary.

" Isn't that just so like her?" Willow asks, falsely sympathetic, "She gets all righteous and pissy, then takes off. So typical, "

"W-W-Will?" Buffy says, her stomach turning to ice, " We can help…"

" No, thanks, Buffy, " Willow says, shrugging nonchalantly, " I feel… great" She smiles, but it's not a comforting smile," heard about poor Dawnie, though. Is she feeling better?" Willow's voice is full of false sympathy.

" L-Leave Dawn alone!" Buffy says, going into a stance, " You can't have her!"

"Now, Buffy, is that any way to talk?" Willow says, " We … me and Tara… thought we'd take her for an ice cream. She must be bored to tears, being cooped up and all".

" You leave my sister alone, " Buffy says, her voice growing low and angry. She advances on Willow.

" Buffy, Buffy, Buffy, " Willow says, " Always with the pesky hero thing." She waves her hand, and Buffy goes flying into a bush. " Tara, honey, why don't you go get Dawn while Buffy and I chat?". Tara nods, and heads for the door. Buffy gets up as if to block her, but Willow puts out her hand, says " Stay down" and Buffy falls back.

" Buffy, you still don't get it, do you?" Willow says, shrugging, " I'm not you're sidekick anymore. I'm way past you, I certainly don't need your 'permission' to do anything." Buffy starts to get up again, but Willow waves her hand, and Buffy's back down. " See? Now, why don't you be nice, and …."

Just then, the roar of a motorcycle drowns her out as Faith rams directly into her with her bike, knocking Willow off her feet. She goes flying for a few yards, and lands hard on the ground, stunned. Buffy, Willow's spell broken, runs over to where Faith is sitting on her bike.

" They're trying to take Dawn!" Buffy says.

" Don't think so!" Faith replies. Willow is getting up, but Faith puts on the accelerator. She almost makes it, but Willow says " Thicken" and suddenly it's as if Faith hits a wall… she goes flying one way, the bike another. The bike crashes into the house next door. Faith is lying on the ground, stunned.

" Now, that was just RUDE!" Willow says, scolding the stunned Faith. " Of course, what could I expect from you, huh, Faith?".

At that moment, Tara comes out of the house, carrying an unconscious Dawn. Buffy runs towards her, intending to get Dawn away. But Tara holds up her hand and says " Stop". Buffy freezes, unable to move.

"Well, well, " Willow says, brightly, " here's the guest of honor now. Looks a bit … tired. Guess we'll have to go for ice cream later".

Faith, having recovered, charges Willow, and manages to knock her down. She starts hitting on her, but then goes flying again as Willow casts a spell.

" Damn, Faith, you just have no manners at all, " Willow says, clearly angry now. " I was just going to retrieve Dawn, and leave, but I guess a little lesson is in order. Maybe next time you'll have respect for your betters!"

" Betters?" Faith says, standing, " You pathetic piece of crap. You hide behind magic. You couldn't even take me in a fair fight!"

" Willow!" Tara calls out, not liking any of this. But she can't challenge Willow yet. " I've got Dawn. Let's just go!"

" No, Tara!" Willow barks. She calms her voice, " Faith needs to be taught a lesson. This black haired slut comes her, takes over, thinking she's better than everybody. Time you learned your place, Faith".

"I suppose you're gonna teach me, huh?" Faith mocks, " I'll say it again. Without your powers, you're nothin' ".

" Tell you what, Faith, " Willow says, " I won't use magic, except to increase my strength to your level. After all, wouldn't be much of a fight otherwise you think?". Willow mutters something, and lights swirl around her. " There, that should do it".

" Fine by me, " Faith says, starting to circle Willow, " Now I don't gotta hold back."

" You know something, Faith?" Willow sneers, " You need every square inch of your ass kicked." Willow starts to follow suit, circling around Faith.

Faith sees an opening, and goes for it, landing a kick on Willow…who is pushed back. Willow counters, however, flipping Faith's leg up causing her to lose balance. Faith quickly recovers, and the fight is on for real.

For a while, it's a pretty even match. Each woman throws and blocks punches, throws and blocks kicks. They also get some licks in on each side, but it's pretty evenly matched. But after awhile, experience starts to show. Though her speed and strength are enhanced, and her ability to take blows increased, Willow is beginning to tire. Faith is starting to push it over the line, pushing her back. Faith comes at her with a flying kick, and at the last second does a scissor kick, knocking Willow over. Faith, on top, starts to rain blows on her.

" Get OFF me , super Bitch" Willow cries out, managing to grab Faith and toss her over her shoulder. Faith does a roll, coming back on her feet. Willow stands up, back to her, not realizing that Faith is already up. Faith does a forward Pinwheel kick, knocking Willow back down. She's about to jump on her when instead, she goes flying in the opposite direction, as if hit by an invisible truck. She lands heavily against Buffy's porch.

" Oh well, guess I lied, huh?" Willow grins. " But I have to thank you, Faith. You taught me a lesson. It's not about the violence, is it? It's about the power!". Willow turns to Buffy, who's still frozen from Tara's spell. She levitates her, and throws her next to Faith. She conjures up a fireball, and is ready to toss it at the porch when a crossbow arrow hits her in the shoulder. She screams in pain.

"What the FUCK?" She says, turning . There is Giles, holding a crossbow, aimed at her. Next to him is Anya, also holding a crossbow. " How the hell are you two here? You should be crispy critters by now!". She turns, and sees Tara seeming to be muttering a spell. " OH, I get it now. That's what you were doing back at the Magic Box, No wonder they're not dead!" Tara, startled, looks up and hesitates. That's all Willow needs, for she throws a black energy bolt at her, knocking her off her feet, unconscious. Dawn, still groggy, lands on Tara, hard.

" You know? You just can't get good help these days!" Willow complains. She pulls the crossbow bolt from her shoulder, wincing in pain. She passes her hand over her shoulder, and her wound is healed. Anya lifts her crossbow to fire, but it suddenly catches fire, and she drops it. Ditto with Giles' crossbow. Willow tosses a fireball at Giles' car, and it explodes, the force of the explosion knocking Giles and Anya both off their feet. " Think you're gonna need a new car, Giles, " Willow says, laughing. She walks over to where the unconscious Willow and the groggy Dawn are, and conjures a fireball.

"Gotta go, Kids, " She grins, tossing the fireball at Buffy's house, " Ooops. Guess that'll teach me to play with matches, huh? Shame on me. Oh well." She shrugs.

A whirlwind of energy and mist and lighting surround her, and she, Dawn and Tara disappear.

* * *

To be continued.


	15. Chapter 15

Timeless Faith

By Norwalker

Part 15 of ?

Rating : R for language, sexual situations and violence.

Category: Romance/Angst/Drama

Disclaimer: Most, if not all of the characters depicted here are the property of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, Inc. and Fox. This is a work of fiction; any similarities to anyone living or dead are purely coincidental.

Summary: Third in a series of stories started with " Summer of faith" and continued in "Seasons of faith". In the last book, Buffy died fighting Glorificus, the Hell goddess. This book picks up where that book ended. How does Faith deal with the loss of Buffy? How does life change for the scoobies? Buffy will be with them always, but is there more to it than just memories? Stay tuned.

Spoilers: Possible season 6 and season 7 spoilers. Hope you've watched them by now.

Timeline: Season 6, maybe season 7 and beyond( don't know yet).

WARNING: **_There is always the possibility of major character death_**. Romance between members of the same gender(duh). Sexual situations between members of the same gender. This is an _Alternate Universe_ (AU) story. The real(by the series 'coda' ) relationship between Buffy and Faith never happened here. So if you're looking for the dark, knife wielding, don't give a crap about nothing but me Faith, She's not here.(ok, bit of an exaggeration, as we all know by now that Faith redeemed herself, but the "dark, evil" Faith never got a chance to live here). Violence happens. Adult themes( someday, I plan on being one, too). Sexual situations. All the usual stuff.

* * *

1630 Revello Drive looks like a war zone

In the street, Giles' car is burning down to the axles, occasionally flaring up when the fire hits another bit of combustible material.

Giles and Anya, knocked flat by the concussion of the car's explosion, are still out, lying prone on the sidewalk. Bits of burning car are scattered around them

The yard is torn up from the fight between Willow and the slayers. Also here and there are burning bits of car scattered about, causing the grass to ignite in places

The house itself is on fire. Willow's fireball has burned through the roof, and is starting on the second story. The wind has blown hot sparks, which has ignited one of the trees. The slayers, unconscious are lying prone on the porch. So far the porch roof hasn't caught fire, but sparks are smoldering on it.

In the distance, the sound of emergency vehicle sirens can be heard.

Buffy, still woozy, lifts herself up, and on shaky legs, stands up. She looks at the disaster that was once her front yard, and groans. She is still trying to process everything that's going on. _Willow…gone evil? No…can't be… no way! But…she took Dawn… something's majorly wrong here. She…she tried to kill us… I don't get it… Faith…where's Faith?_ She looks around, and sees Faith lying prone on the porch.

Above her, a section of the burning house comes loose. It teeters on the edge…

Faith starts to stir, and Buffy waits, figuring she'll want to get up herself._ Faith is so' don't help me, ok?' Sometimes makes me crazy._ Buffy sighs, the smiles just a little. That's one of the 1 million reasons she loves her. Faith is so strong… she's Buffy's rock. She can count on her for anything….

The section above comes loose, crashing down through the porch roof.

Buffy is thrown backwards by the impact, and hits one of the posts, stunned.

_Faith! Oh my god, FAITH!. _Buffy runs to where the porch roof collapsed, but she can't get through. It's a solid wall of burning debris. She starts choking, but tries to get through… nothing. She's starting to panic, looking around for something to help her get through. She sees the porch railing, and vaults it. Maybe she can get through on the other side. _Please, please, if there's a god …please…don't let her die… let me get to her!_

Faith is just starting to lift herself off the floor of the porch, when the ceiling above her collapses. The debris falls on her, and pins her to the porch.

_Well, fuck me._ Faith groans, the pain … huge. She struggles to free herself, but the weight is too much. _Shit. This so isn't how I wanted to die. Was thinking more… 90 years old in bed next to Buffy, all wrinkly and whatever. Buffy…shit…she's probably hurt…gotta get outta this._ Faith strains, and starts to lift herself up again… when she feels the weight begin to lift off her. _What the hell…?_ She looks up, and sees Buffy lifting the beam on her back like it's nothing…then she's being pulled out…_HUH?... _She turns to see Xander Harris gripping her by her arms, pulling her from under the debris.

"Xander? What?" Faith says, groggily.She doesn't understand. Xander shouldn't be here… he's been out of town… heading another project. What? Those thoughts are cut off when pain, real pain, hits her. She groans and passes out. Xander carefully lifts her, and then , hands her over to Giles, who, having recovered, takes Faith and carries her a safe distance from the porch.

Faith, still half unconscious, feels something wet dripping on her face. She opens her eyes to a very scared, very concerned looking Buffy leaning over her, her cheeks wet with tears. In the background she can hear a lot of activity; the fire department has shown up and is trying to put out the fire. She looks around, and sees Xander and Giles standing by. Anya is missing…then she sees her… standing next to Xander, her hand wrapped in a large bandage. She's finding it hard to breathe… every breath feels like fire.

"Faith? Faith! Can you hear me?" Buffy says, her voice choked with emotion.

Faith turns back to Buffy, and sees the scared look on her face. She tries to smile, to reassure her, but it's more a grimace, as another wave of pain shoots through her. She makes a strangled whimpering sound.

"Dammit, where's the ambulance?" Buffy yells, to no one in particular.

" It's on it's way, Buff, " Xander says, looking befuddled. All this is very confusing to him. "It'll be here soon".

Faith struggles to get up, but Buffy gently holds her down.

" No baby, lie still" Buffy says, trying to make her voice calm and soothing, " it's ok, helps on it's way."

Faith struggles against her, but is weak… lies back. She finds her voice, but it sounds like someone else is talking "Buffy … Dawn … gotta find Dawn" Faith says, weakly, her voice sounding scratchy and harsh. She tries to rise again, and a harsh, stabbing pain shoots through her. She lies back, exhausted.

" Don't worry, honey," Buffy says, gently, " We'll find her… don't worry". She holds Faith's face, afraid to touch her anywhere else.

Faith feels as if everything is a little out of focus, and it starts to get darker. A little panic sets in. _What's happening to me?_ Things start to get wavy, and the world seems to spin out of control. She loses consciousness.

"Faith…Faith! Stay with me, baby…don't leave me!" Buffy says, her mind going into panic mode. She starts to gently slap Faith, trying to revive her. " Baby, stay with me, please… I need you, baby…don't… don't do this!" She's getting more scared, and she starts to slap Faith harder, " No … baby…please… don't… stay with me, honey… pleeeaasse… don't do this!" But Faith isn't responding.

Two sets of arms reach down to grab Buffy. Xander and Giles pull her away from Faith, because she's slapping her too hard.

" Buffy, Buff.. Stop!" Xander says, trying with Giles to restrain the distraught slayer.

" No, lemme go, lemme go!" Buffy cries, struggling against Giles and Xander.

" Buffy… Buffy!" Giles says, and then does something he's never done before. He slaps Buffy across the face. Buffy, surprised, looks at him in shock. But she's stopped struggling.

"I'm sorry, I didn't want to do that, but you … were hysterical" Giles says, "Help's here, Buffy. Look!"

Buffy looks, and sees Faith being lifted by two paramedics onto a rolling stretcher. She begins to calm a little.

"Giles … Xander… I… is she going to be… I gotta go… I gotta go with her!" Buffy says, starting to follow the stretcher. She gets a few steps, then everything that's happened seems to hit her like a freight train. She gets dizzy, her knees get wobbly, and she starts to sink to the ground. " Help" she calls out weakly. Xander and Giles rush to her, lifting her gently to her feet. For a moment, she leans heavily on them, the world seeming to crush down on her shoulders.

" Miss… we've got to go. If you're coming…? " the Paramedic calls out.

It's as if someone hit her with a bucket of cold water. Buffy's spine stiffens, and she gently shakes off Giles and Xander" I gotta go" She says, and, straightening herself, she runs towards the ambulance. She hops in the back, moving forward towards where Faith is lying. The door swings closed, and the ambulance takes off.

Xander, Giles and Anya watch as the ambulance leaves. Xander turns, and looks at the scene. The firemen are still battling the fire, though now it seems they have the upper hand. The yard is wrecked, one of the trees is nearly burned to the ground, and everything is in general chaos. He turns back to Giles, his face a mask of bewilderment and worry.

"What the hell happened here, Giles?"

* * *

Tara wakes up in a semi darkened room.

She tries to move, but finds she's unable to. She's actually standing up, floating a little off the ground. But her body is encased in mystic energy, and she's unable to move. She glances around with her eyes.

She doesn't recognize where she is, she can only tell that it's nearly empty, the only furniture seeming to be a few chairs and a table. The only light seems to be coming from a bare bulb in a ceiling fixture. She sees Willow pacing by the light. She can't turn her head, so her line of sight is rather limited. She doesn't see Dawn, and she's a little worried. _Where is she? God, I hope she's ok._ She curses herself silently. _Damn, why wasn't I more careful?_ She can only hope that Buffy and Faith are ok, and are looking for them.

"Oh, you're awake" Willow says, calmly. She walks over to Tara.

"What's … going … on?" Tara asks. It's like she's talking underwater. Her voice sounds distorted to her.

" I guess I could ask you the same question," Willow says, " I really believed you'd come around to my point of view. Saw how they used us, abused us, and threw us away when they were done with us," Willow's voice takes on a tone of hurt betrayal, " But no, you just pretended. Just like the rest of them. I thought you loved me, Tara!"

" I ….. do ….. love….." Tara begins, but Willow, impatient, says a small spell, and suddenly Tara can talk normally again, " I do love you, Willow, with all my heart"

" I wish I could believe that, Tara, " Willow says, sounding wistful, " but after what you did today? You betrayed me. You helped them against me, and … " her voice hardens, " I can't forgive that." Her voice changes again, going deeper, more alien, " Your like them. You want to hurt me. You fear me, because I have real power. You're jealous of me." Her voice changes back, sounding like Willow again, "Tara, Why? I would've done anything for you, given you everything. Why?"

Tara realizes that though the 'beast' is in control, somewhere in there, Willow, her Willow still existed. If only she could appeal to her… make her see the insanity of this.

" Willow, my love, I know you're hurt and angry, " Tara begins, " I know that you feel as if the whole world has targeted you, made you weak, held you down. But Willow, " Tara says gently, " is it really them? Are they why you feel this way? Or is it your own fear? I love you baby. When I look at you, I feel all good inside, I see the wonderful you. The loving, giving you. But lately, you've been shying away from that part of you that makes you so special. You've changed, Willow, and I'm not sure it's always for the best. You used to be open, but you've closed yourself off. You don't listen to anyone, not even me, anymore. You have your own way, and you're going to do it, no matter what the consequences. Ever since Buffy died…."

" Stop, I don't want to hear this!" Willow says, her voice getting edgier

" … you've changed, Willow. You've closed yourself off, you've become secretive. You used to love to talk about stuff, figure stuff out, find the truth in everything. Now, you just decide whatever you think at the time is right, and don't want to hear any other point of view. You try to make things fit into you're world view, rather than accepting that sometimes things just won't go the way you want them to."

" Not true, not at all true!" Willow says, trying to shout her down, " Lying, you're lying!"

"No, Willow, I'm telling you the truth. Think, Willow, think! Think about all that's happened since that night that Buffy died. Think of how you reacted, and what you've done… please, baby… " Tara is almost pleading with her, hoping to get through to her.

But Willow doesn't want to hear this. Or the thing inside Willow won't let her hear this. It fears and hates the truth. Willow casts a spell at Tara, and suddenly she can't speak.

"Be QUIET!" The Willow-thing says, angrily, the tone deep and alien, " You're like all of them. I was blinded, because I thought you loved me, but that's not true, is it? You don't love me, you want to make me weak, doubt myself. But I won't listen! I won't give in!" Her expression turns ugly, and she drops the glamour making her look like Willow. Any resemblance to Willow, the old Willow, is nearly gone. Her face is dark, a sickly purplish color. The veins have become more prominent, almost resembling a road map. They're red and green in color, and throb with power and tension. Her eyes, once an emerald green, are a dark red, the color of blood. The whites of her eyes are almost yellow, with veins blue and red running through them. Her mouth, before so easy to smile, has a cruel , hard cast to it, the lips almost a slash across her face. She almost snarls at Tara.

" You're the worst of them all," Willow says, her tone harsh and strange, " you've done nothing but betray me, telling me it was love when it was cruel hatred," The Willow thing cackles, "but I know you now, I know you're heart, you're true feelings. You hurt me worst of all."

It throws an energy bolt at Tara, which is slowly absorbed into the binding spell holding her.

" The others will die, painfully but quickly. YOU… you will not have that luxury. I will make you die slowly, painfully, " The Willow-thing approaches her, chanting a harsh rhyme in a long forgotten language. The energy around Tara's binding spell seems to shift, growing darker in spots.

Though Tara can't make a sound, you can tell she's in agony. Her eyes are wide, and her mouth is frozen in a silent scream. Though she can't move her arms or legs, her body seems to quiver within the mystical energies surrounding her.

Tara is in agony. She feels as if her body is being torn apart , then put back together, and torn apart again. Her blood feels like it's on fire, burning her insides unmercifully. She can't scream, she can't move, and she can't faint, because part of the spell keeps her awake. She can only suffer, and she knows she'll soon go mad if the pain doesn't stop.

_" Tara" _A voice, clear and strong, speaks in her head.

_"Who? What?" _She answers, in fear and pain.

_"It's me, Tara, Dawn"_ The voice says, gently,_ "I'm with you, don't worry. I won't let her hurt you!"_

_"Dawnie! Oh goddess, Dawnie I'm glad you're ok… but it hurts…hurts so bad… I can't take it!"_

_" Sweet Tara, don't despair. Trust me, I'll make it stop"._

Tara felt as if fingers were running through her mind, touching her, healing her. The pain… lessened. As the fingers moved through her, throughout her spirit, the pain got weaker, weaker then finally it was gone. Tara sighed, relieved at the cessation of pain. But when she tried to open her eyes, she found she couldn't.

_"What? Dawn, I can't see… I can't open my eyes!"_

_" I have to keep you asleep, Tara. To keep the pain out. Don't fight it, just sleep. "_

_" But, Willow… I've got to ….' _

_" Don't worry. She will be taken care of. This won't last much longer. Things are happening. Trust me, and sleep."_

_"But…."_

_"Just sleep"_

And she did.

* * *

" I don't understand, Giles, " Xander says, " You're saying Willow's evil?" His face is puzzled and disbelieving.

Giles and Xander are in the Visitors Lounge of Sunnydale General hospital. They've been here for a couple of hours, waiting for word on Faith. Buffy is with them, but off by herself. She can't settle down, but keeps popping up, pacing nervously.

" Not Willow, per se," Giles explains, patiently… again, " Something Evil was in the book she was…using. When she destroyed it, burning it, she released the evil, and it went into her, taking her over."

" I'm still trying to wrap my head around that one, " Xander says, " Willow tried to commit suicide?"

Giles nods.

" But… I can't believe that, " Xander says, " She… god, she's afraid of knives. She's afraid of death. I know that for a fact… how could she even think…?"

" Xander, " Giles says, " Willow is not the same as you knew her. She's been different for awhile. Ever since Buffy died, she's … been not the same. I put it down to grief at first. But… surely you've noticed it?"

Xander's brow furrows, in thought, " I noticed she seemed more… I don't know…bossy? God, I don't know… she just seemed like she didn't want to hear things that she didn't agree with"

" It's more than that, Xander, " Giles says, " I think something broke inside Willow when Buffy died. I don't know how else to explain it, " Giles says," She wasn't the same woman we knew. It's as if she turned something off inside, to protect herself. Whatever happened, she changed. I talked to Faith, Dawn and Tara… before today happened, and they all say the same thing. She became almost obsessively controlling… as if she couldn't take things changing around her, " Giles pauses, musing, " I think that may be why she became so caught up in magic. To try to make things the way she wanted them. I know that on the night she tried suicide, she was still looking for a way to restore Buffy's memories. Even after my warnings to her about magic."

" I've known Willow nearly my whole life, Giles, " Xander says, " I don't think she has an evil bone in her body. I can't accept she's gone bad."

" Evil isn't absolute, Xander, " Giles remarks, "Very few, if any, are born evil. Most learn it, over time. It doesn't happen in a day. We make a decision, then another and another, taking us down a path we never expected to travel. I believe that's what's happened with Willow. Her intentions were good, but her decisions and her actions brought her to… this place."

" I know she was totally wired into getting Buffy back. Didn't seem she could think about anything else," Xander says, " could using that mojo make her wig?"

Giles takes a second to translate the Xanderspeak, then replies, " I don't think just doing the spell alone did it. But I think it contributed to her…as you say… 'wigging'. I think it built up in her, until finally, with the despair and that dark … thing … entering her body just pushed her over the edge. I don't know how much of what she is now is Willow, and how much is the beast inside her. But it doesn't matter, because whoever or whatever it is seems determined to get revenge on everyone Willow ever knew or cared about."

Xander gulps, "Including me?"

" I don't think anybody's safe, Xander", Giles replies. Xander pales just a little.

" Where'd she get all the power, though? I mean, ok she was like Wiccan deluxe, but she never was … like Uber Witch… I saw Buffy's house… it looked like a bad war movie".

" I don't know precisely, but I believe she's drawing on the dark magic the thing that possessed her has. It's almost like it's feeding her, and I fear that each time she uses it, a little more of the old Willow, the one we know, is being lost," Giles looks worried.

" So , how're we gonna stop her?" Xander asks. Buffy seems to take notice of his question, and comes over.

" I … don't know yet, Xander," Giles says quietly.

" You don't know?" Xander looks puzzled, "but you're book guy. Research guy. You always know this stuff!"

" Dammit, Xander, " Giles retorts, the tension of the day catching up with him, " I haven't had time to really look into it. The Magic Box was destroyed,… Anya and I were nearly killed… then there was Buffy and Faith… so, no, I don't know yet!" He paces off, barely holding his anger.

"Uhhh… sorry, Giles" Xander says, backing off.

" I'll try to contact the Coven later in Devonshire…." Giles starts, but is interrupted by the arrival of a doctor.

" Excuse me, are you friends of Ms. DeMarco?" The doctor asks.

" Yes!" Buffy says, stepping forward, " how is she?"

" She's resting now. She's surprisingly well, considering. She has a couple of cracked ribs, and broken foot. She sustained a concussion, but otherwise, she's ok. She's very lucky." The doctor looks puzzled.

What?" Buffy asks, reading his expression.

" Well, when the EMT's brought her in, they would've sworn she punctured her lung. Her breathing had a hissing sound to it, usually a sign of a punctured lung. But… the x-rays showed no trauma to the lung", the doctor says, " it's rather puzzling." His brow is furrowed, " nevertheless, we want to keep her a few days, just to be sure".

"Of course, Doctor" Giles says, from behind Buffy, " whatever is best".

" She's a very lucky girl. I understand a porch roof collapsed on her?" The doctor questions.

" Uhhh… yeah," Buffy replies.

" Just lucky I guess, " He says, still looking bewildered, " anyway, she should be ready for visitors in a few hours. She sedated right now."

" Can I see her now, please?" Buffy asks

" I really don't want her disturbed yet. I want her to rest, " the doctor replies.

" I… I just have to see her, see she's … ok… please? I won't disturb her! I promise!" Buffy pleads.

" Are you her sister?" The doctor asks.

" We're… family, yes" Buffy replies, evasively.

The doctor sighs, " Alright, but only for a few minutes… and only you!" He relents.

Buffy, relieved and grateful, hugs the doctor. Forgetting herself, she hugs him just a little too hard. His eyes go wide, and he groans.

"Uh… sorry, " She says, releasing him, looking a little shamefaced. The doctor, giving her an odd look, just waves towards the ward and leaves.

Buffy enters Faith's room quietly, not wanting to disturb her. Faith is lying quietly, eyes closed, hooked up to an IV, and monitoring machines. Her foot is raised in a hanging sling. Buffy walks over to her bedside, and looks down on her.

_God, she looks so pale, _Buffy thinks, _So tired._ A wave of sadness and regret washes over her, as she remembers how much Faith has had to do since she 'came back'. How much of the load she's had to bear, how Faith has watched over her and her sister, protecting them. How she almost died trying to protect them. _Idiot! Moron! What'm I gonna do if you're not here? Stop trying to … aw shit, how can I tell you that? You'd just laugh it off like you always do, saying I worry too much._ Buffy takes Faith's hand. _But you're always throwing yourself in the way, trying to save me… God, if I didn't love you so much, I'd kill you! You… You…You…_ despite her best intentions, the tears start to roll, and Buffy stands there, head down, holding Faith's hand. She bites her lip, not wanting to make any noise.

Faith opens her eyes slowly, feeling as if her eyelids have been gummed together. She sees Buffy standing there, head down, all teary. Her heart gets all achy … she so hates to see Buffy crying. She puts on a little smirk.

"Hey…hey, now" Faith says weakly, her lungs feeling like they're on fire, " Knock off the blubber works, 'K? Not dead yet!"

Buffy, surprised, quickly averts her face, surreptitiously wiping the tears, not wanting Faith to see her upset._ God, isn't she got enough to worry about?. _Buffy turns back , smiling, tears wiped away.

" Hey, " Buffy says, lightly

" Hey, " Faith replies, " How come every time I wake up in this place, you're crying huh?" Faith chuckles, then groans. _Damn, that hurts._

"Sorry, " Buffy says, quietly, " I didn't mean for you to see that. Just worried about you."

"Yeah, well don't sweat it. Get me outta here, gimme couple days. Be good as new!" Faith says.

"The doctors want you to stay for a couple of days," Buffy says, " they're worried about your lungs. 'fraid you mighta punctured one… though the x-rays don't show anything".

"Yeah, well… screw that. I'm fine, wanna go home" Faith says, trying to rise. She gets a few inches, then falls back, exhausted. " God, what'd they put in me?"

"Faith, you just stay where you are. You're not going anywhere. You cracked a few of your ribs, and you broke your foot… you're staying here til the doc says your good to go". Buffy is quiet and gentle, but her voice has a firm tone to it.

"B… no way. We gotta get Dawn back" Faith says. She starts to sit up again, but Buffy gently pushes her down. " Hey, stop that. We got work to do!"

"I got work to do… you got healing to do!" Buffy says, quietly, " You're not going anywhere. Get used to it!"

"That's bogus, B. I mean, she threw us around like rag dolls. No way you can go up against her alone!" Faith says," You need my help!"

" I need you well, is what I need!" Buffy says," And I'm not alone. I got Giles and Xander and …" She trails off, realizing that the team doesn't have Will or Tara on it anymore. _It's just too weird,_ she thinks."… we'll handle it!"

"Dammit, B. You need me fighting with you!" Faith says, then coughs… and groans." I'll be fine!"

"Yeah, right, " Buffy replies, " Get it through your head. You're staying here, getting well. Period, discussion over!"

" But, B…." Faith is interrupted by Buffy.

" No buts, Faith" Buffy says," We're done talking about it."

Faith's face takes on a sour look. She turns away, and mumbles, " Yeah, well, who died and made you Queen?"

But Buffy catches it, and turns away, trying not to get upset. _Damn you, do you know or care how much you scared me… again? I thought you were gonna die on me. Shit!!! Do you think I could stand losing you? Do you?_ She rages to herself, _Faith is always doing these risky things, does she think I could go on without her? What the hell is she thinking, anyway?_ Then it hits her like a ton of bricks._ How do you think it was for her? Seeing you dead, burying you? Think maybe it tore her up a little inside? Think maybe you could cut her a tiny bit of slack?_ Buffy turns back to Faith, and takes her hand.

" Baby, " Buffy says, smiling at Faith, " I know you wanna help. And believe me, I want your help in the worst way. But right now, you'd have trouble going a round with a paper sack. Just concentrate on getting well, baby. I promise, " Buffy squeezes her hand, " I'm not gonna leave you out, 'K?"

" 'K, " Faith says, a little mollified. But she still doesn't want to be here. Not in this place. " Ummm… but couldn't I come home, B? I mean, I … I could heal just as good there!" Faith says, her voice calm, but her eyes pleading.

" Faith, honey, please?" Buffy says, " The doctors just wanna be sure you're ok. I promise, I'll bring you home soon as they say it's ok".

"Ok," Faith says, hiding her fear. She knows right now it's tough enough on Buffy. she doesn't need any more on her plate, " just promise me you'll let me help, I gotta, ok?"

"Don't worry, honey, I will, " Buffy says, " Now, you gotta get some rest. The doctor's already gonna kill me, we weren't supposed to be even talking… you were supposed to be sleeping and resting!"

"Yeah, well…what do they know? Slayer healing, remember?" Faith asserts.

" Well, even that needs time to work… so get busy and rest!" Buffy says, then laughs, " Ok, that was stupid. But you know what I mean!".

" 'K" Faith says.  
" I'll be back later, ok?" Buffy says.

" Ok" Faith replies, a little wearily. She closes her eyes.

Buffy watches her for a few more minutes. When she's sure Faith is asleep, she lets go of her hand, leans over and kisses her on the forehead.

As she turns to leave, her facial expression is calm. She seems in control, composed.

But her eyes, her eyes give her away.

They're ice cold in anger.

* * *

"We've got to find her, Giles," Buffy says, her voice ice cold, " this has gotta stop!"

Giles, Buffy, Xander and Anya are all sitting in Giles' front room. Since the Magic Box is in ashes, and Buffy's house is unlivable, the 'meetings' have returned to his apartment.

"We're doing our best, Buffy, " Giles says, "But with her ability to transport herself almost anywhere, it's going to be extremely difficult to find her."

"Then we've gotta figure where she's gonna strike next, " Buffy says, " We've got to do something. She's got my sister, no telling what she has in mind for Dawn. But I'm so not going to sit here on my butt while she's out there getting away with murder!".

"Buffy, this is Willow we're talking about, " Xander says, " She's hasn't murdered anyone".

"Not for lack of trying, Xander. She tried to kill Giles and Anya in the Magic box, and she tried to kill me and Faith at our home, so excuse me if I'm just a little pissed off!" Buffy replies.

'Xander, you have to remember this isn't Willow," Giles interjects, " It's taken her form, and it's using her personality, but that's not the Willow you know. I'm not entirely sure that Willow, or any part of her, is still … there".

"But she might be!", Xander says, " I'm not going to sit back and let you kill her."

"Xander, nobody wants to kill her, " Buffy says, toning down the harshness in her voice, " But I can't let … whoever or whatever that is… go on destroying and killing. You gotta remember, Xan, that it seems to be targeting Willow's friends. That includes you. Want to wait for it to come for you?"

Xander looks upset. He's still having a hard time believing Willow… the woman he's known since kindergarten, is doing these things. _I don't care what they say. Will's in there somewhere, and I can't let them destroy her, even to destroy the … thing controlling her. I've gotta save her, somehow._

" Ok, even if we do find her, " Xander says, " how're we gonna stop her? So far she's been playing racquetball with you guys. What's gonna stop her now?"

"There may be a way, " Buffy says. She briefly goes on to explain Faith's and her encounter with the 'being' inside Dawn. Everybody, including Giles, looks astounded. No one had considered that the 'key' that Dawn had been made from might be something more … something evidently a lot more.

" There was no mention of the Key being anything more than just that, " Giles says, obviously thrown off his game somewhat, " are you certain about this?"

"I'm telling you what it told me, " Buffy says, " I dunno what it's deal is, except that it lifted me and Faith like we were nothing. So I'm kinda thinking… yeah".

" Why hasn't it destroyed Willow by now then?" Anya, in her usual diplomatic way, joins the discussion," If it's so all-powerful and all, why hasn't it turned Willow into witch dust?"

Xander throws Anya a look. He's not sure if he just wants to kill her… or just kill her.

"From what it said, it's not as powerful since it was pressed into human form. That's why it needs our help… it needs whateverthemachacallit that has Willow distracted somewhat," Buffy says, recalling her conversation with the …glow… ," I guess to get it's mojo up and running, or something".

Xander doesn't look happy, " Ok suppose this…whatever it is can stop the …whatever it is . What about Will?" He's not letting that go.

"Xander, I just said, if there's a way, we'll save Will," Buffy says, " but we can't just let this go on like nothing's happening."

" I'm not saying we ignore it, " Xander defends, " but it's not good enough to just say' if there's a way', Buffy. Will's stood by you through a lot. We can't just let her die!"

" What do you want, Xander?" Buffy turns on him, her face getting red, " A guarantee? There aren't any, Xander, you know that! I didn't choose for this to happen. Maybe if Willow had listened, not played with the dark magic so much…."

"You wouldn't be alive, " Xander says.

"So you're blaming me for this, then?" Buffy says, incredulous, " I didn't ask for this, Xander. I was dead, I was in a good place… and you, and Willow, and Anya over there, ripped me out!" Buffy moves away, obviously upset. She doesn't look at Xander when she continues, "There was a slayer. You didn't need to bring me back. But you chose to play with these magicks. Do you think I liked digging myself out of my grave, Xander? Do you think I had fun wandering around not knowing who I was, what I was supposed to do? I've still got huge gaps in my memory… things I'll probably never remember. Think that's fun?," Buffy turns to him, " Now you want to put it on me. Typical, Xander, really typical."

" I'm just saying that …" Xander says, blustering

" No, I'm not wanting to hear it anymore, Xander. You've done this to me since day one, practically. With Angel, with Jenny Calendar, with Faith… all of it. You're great at the sideline quarterbacking, Xan… so, tell me, what're we gonna do? You gotta plan? Let's hear it."

"That's not fair, Buffy, " Xander says, " I've supported you a lot".

" When it fits how you think things should be. Or, like now, when I have to waste time arguing with you about it" Buffy retorts, " So this is your chance. Give me something… anything. Show me a better way. I'll be glad to follow!"

" Buffy, I think this has gone far enough, " Giles cuts in, " We need to be united on this."

" I'm well aware of that, Giles, " Buffy says, shortly, " Xander seems to have a better idea. I just want to hear it." Buffy waits, arms folded across her chest.

Xander is quiet.

"Anything? C'mon Xander, give me something here, " Buffy says, mockingly. She waits.

The silence goes on.

" I thought not, " Buffy says, harshly. " Here's the deal, Xander. I don't want anyone here that's not wanting to be here. I'm sorry to say, but if it comes to it, we're going to have to stop Willow, no matter what. Do you really think whatever's taken her over is going to stop at us? So, if you can't get onboard, then I suggest you leave."

" Ok," Xander says. For a moment, Buffy thinks he's conceding… but then he walks towards the door. " you coming, Anya?" He asks. Anya looks at the others, shrugs, and follows Xander. As he's leaving, he turns.

" I'm sorry Buff. I just can't" Xander says. He walks out. Anya follows.

" Was that wise?" Giles asks.

"Probably not, " Buffy concedes, " but if he's not 100% committed, Giles… he'll just get himself killed". _And us, as well_, she thinks. " Maybe it's for the best. He's out of it, he'll be safe, " Buffy says, but she doesn't look convinced.

" Are any of us truly safe?" Giles asks.

Buffy doesn't reply. She doesn't need to; her face tells all.

" So, now what, Buffy?" Giles asks gently.

" Now we wait," Buffy says, quietly.

* * *

It wasn't a long wait.

When Xander and Anya returned to their apartment, they found Willow waiting for them, standing in the middle of their living room. She stood there smiling; nothing was out of place, everything in perfect order. No broken pieces of furniture, knick-knacks or dishes. Everything was just fine.

Except it was on the ceiling. Even the drapes ran up the wall, adding to the illusion.

" Kinda confusing, isn't it?" Willow said, smiling, " I know how you love cartoons, Xander. Thought this might be right up your alley, " She mocked, " But you know? It just isn't right, somehow. Oh…yeah… just not right if you guys aren't in it… silly me!" She said. She waved her hand, and suddenly Anya and Xander went floating upward, sticking to the ceiling like magnets. " There… that's better!"

" Will… Willow… c'mon, let us down, " Xander says, a bit panicky, " Please, Will… we can help you!"

" Help me?" Willow asks, smiling caustically," I'm so touched, all my so-called friends want to 'help' me. Why do I think that means they want to strip me of my powers?"

"See, Xander? I told you!" Anya says, " She's crazy with power!"

" So not helping, Anya," Xander replies. He knows he's going to pay for that.

" See, Xan? Just what I thought. Everybody thinks I'm crazy, when I'm just pissed, " Willow says lightly. She waves her hand… and everything comes crashing down from the ceiling, including Xander and Anya. Willow, protected by a shield she threw around herself, smiles at the destruction.

By some miracle, nothing lands on top of Xander and Anya, but they lay stunned on the floor from the fall. Willow cocks her head, looking at them. Her expression registers faint interest.

" This should appeal to your sense of cartoony, Xander, " Willow says. She floats Anya up.

"Will… what're you going to do?" Xander says, clearly worried.  
"Relax, Xan, you'll love it!" Willow declares. She flicks her wrist, and Anya goes flying through the apartment window. She hangs in the air, looking frightened.

"Willow, please… don't hurt her!" Xander pleads, getting to his feet. Then back down, as Willow knocks his feet from under him.

" Don't hurt her! Don't hurt her!" Willow mocks, then turns on Xander, leaving Anya to float freely in space out of the window, " God, Xander. Grow a backbone or something. You sure didn't mind hurting me in High School, did you? Going for everybody BUT me. Buffy, mummy girl, insect woman, Cordelia… god, the worst of the bunch… and now Anya… anybody but me, right Xander? Cuz I was just Willow… just nothing but a foil for you, someone to hang with until something better came along… right?" Willow smirks, " only when Oz took notice of me, all of a sudden I came on your radar. Then you noticed me. Too little, too late, Harris. I figure you only got comfy-cozy with me to ruin it for me with Oz… kinda blind to it then, but seeing things so much clearer these days".

" Willow…. I love you, I do!" Xander says, " please, don't do this!"

" Uh-huh," Willow says, her tone bored, " Oh…geeze… I nearly forgot Anya. Gosh, how stupid of me!" She turns to Anya, still suspended in mid-air outside the window. Suddenly, against her will, Anya's arms raise up, as if they're holding something. " I know how you love getting presents, Anya. So, I gotcha something. Hope you like it!" Willow calls out. Suddenly, a blacksmith's anvil appears in Anya's arms.

"Will…what're you…." Xander says, sounding genuinely scared. Willow turns to him, and at that moment her spell releases…. Anya and anvil plunge out of sight.

"Anya! ANYA!!! No!" Xander runs towards the window, but suddenly is stuck in space. Willow grins at him.

" Oh, don't worry. She's fine. I padded her fall. Go ahead, go see!" Willow says, Xander can suddenly move, and goes to the window, looking out. Anya is lying in what looks like a huge pillow, apparently unharmed. Xander turns back from the window, his face angered.

" Why…why're you doing this?" Xander says, almost growling.

" Now, temper, temper Xan, " Willow says, " I just came to warn you. I saw you walk away from Buffy today, but I know you. You get all pissed, then think it over, and go running to help Buffy. Here's a tip. Don't! This is between me and the bitch. Stay out of it, or my next visit won't be so amusing."

Before he can do anything, clouds seem to whirl around Willow, and she's gone.

For a moment, Xander just stands there, stunned. His face is a mask of shock and bewilderment. He can't believe what he's seen… more, he can't believe that Willow is doing this. But he has the messed up apartment, broken furniture and shattered window to prove it.

Window…god! Anya. He runs to the window again, to check on her. She is sitting up on the huge pillow, looking confused. He breathes a sigh of relief. But then his face hardens. He knows what he has to do, even if it means doing a little groveling.

He rushes downstairs to retrieve Anya.

* * *

Faith lays awake in the hospital, staring at the ceiling. There is a pronounced frown on her face. She isn't a happy camper.

She hates hospitals. Always hated them, for as long as she can remember. Something in her past, something she can't remember about hospitals… makes her queasy. She can't remember what, only that something happened… something bad.

She hates being inactive, and lying in a bed, staring at her foot doesn't help matters._ Gonna kick a certain red-headed witch's bony butt when I get outta this place. IF I get outta this place…dammit all… why can't B just see reason and let me come home? Shit…what home? _Faith's anger rises as she remembers what Willow did to the house on Revello Drive._ Definitely gonna do some carnage on that… witch._ Faith fumes, but knows that the condition she's in, she's useless in a fight, and it just makes her more frustrated.

She finally flips on the TV, looking hopefully for something to distract her awhile. As she's surfing the channels(_God, don't they get cable in this joint?_) she hears a noise. She turns, smiling, thinking Buffy's come to visit her. Her smile vaporizes when she sees who it is .

Willow. She's grinning broadly at the bed-ridden slayer.

" Gloat while you can, bitch" Faith says, growling, " Cause when I'm outta this bed, I'm gonna …."

" Now Faith, is that any way to treat a visitor?" Willow says, " Naughty, naughty!" She waves her hand, and some mass seems to cover's face mouth, rendering her silent. Faith looks at her with menacing eyes.

" My, my look at you. Looks like our last little tussle's taken it all out of you, " Willow says, a gloating tone in her voice. " Not so fierce now, huh Faith?"

Faith mumbles something behind the mystic gag Willow's put on her.

" I'm sorry, I didn't hear you, Faith. Speak up, please!" Willow mocks her," oh, guess you got nothing to say. Well, I can understand. You always preferred fists over words, didn't you, Faith?" Faith glares at her.

" You know, I've been thinking that maybe it's time you and I had a little 'alone' time, " Willow asks, " think we could talk it out, and work things out between us? Hey, maybe we could be best buds. Whattya say, Faith?" Faith's expression is hostile, to say the least. " No? Oh well, no matter. Just want to be sure that bitch-lover of your comes a lookin' for me. Have all you ' Summers' women all together in one place. What a hoot, huh?" Willow says, sarcastically, " All the easier to kill you in one little stroke… then get on with more important things."

With that, Willow casts a spell, surrounding Faith in an energy field. Slowly, Faith rises out of the bed, immobilized by the field. Willow takes a note, and drops it on the bed. Smiling, she moves her arm in a circle, and a storm of clouds surrounds her and Faith. When the clouds clear, the two women have gone.

All that's left is the note:

**_Buffy,_**

****

**_Well, well. You've ruined my life, now I'm ruining yours. I've got your sister and your slutty lover with me. So, what do you say, slayer ? Wanna come to my coming-out party? Hate for you to miss it, as you're the guest of honor! Don't think Xander'll be joining our little shindig, as he's … well, let's just say I paid him a visit already, and he doesn't seem so anxious to come. And Giles? Well, bring him along if you want. I'd be happy to kill him right in front of you. So, don't be late, or I'll just have to turn Dawn and Faith into road kill. I'll be waiting for you at the mansion on Crawford St. You know the one… the place you hid Angel after he came back from hell( where you so obligingly sent him in the first place. God, don't see why anyone is attracted to you…you're just plain bad for their health.)_**

**_Be there, or be square!_**

****

**_Kisses_**

****

**_Willow.  
_**

* * *

****

****

To be continued


	16. Chapter 16

**Timeless Faith**

By Norwalker

Part 16 of 16

Rating : R for language, sexual situations and violence.

Category: Romance/Angst/Drama

Disclaimer: Most, if not all of the characters depicted here are the property of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, Inc. and Fox. This is a work of fiction; any similarities to anyone living or dead are purely coincidental.

Summary: Third in a series of stories started with " Summer of faith" and continued in "Seasons of faith". In the last book, Buffy died fighting Glorificus, the Hell goddess. This book picks up where that book ended. How does Faith deal with the loss of Buffy? How does life change for the scoobies? Buffy will be with them always, but is there more to it than just memories? Stay tuned.

Spoilers: Possible season 6 and season 7 spoilers. Hope you've watched them by now.

Timeline: Season 6, maybe season 7 and beyond( don't know yet).

WARNING: **_There is always the possibility of major character death_**. Romance between members of the same gender(duh). Sexual situations between members of the same gender. This is an _Alternate Universe_ (AU) story. The real(by the series 'coda' ) relationship between Buffy and Faith never happened here. So if you're looking for the dark, knife wielding, don't give a crap about nothing but me Faith, She's not here.(ok, bit of an exaggeration, as we all know by now that Faith redeemed herself, but the "dark, evil" Faith never got a chance to live here). Violence happens. Adult themes( someday, I plan on being one, too). Sexual situations. All the usual stuff.

* * *

Things are going just as she'd planned. Mostly, anyway.

She has the bratty little sister, she has the slutty lover. And soon, she'll have Buffy right here before her…where she'll be taken care of once and for all. Along with Dawn and Faith. Then Willow will be free to get to the main attraction. Destroying Sunnydale and opening the hellmouth.

The only thing not going according to plan is Tara. Willow can't understand why Tara betrayed her. it isn't right… Tara should've been changed. But somehow she threw it off. It was just by chance that Willow noticed it in time, and trapped her in a binding spell. Otherwise no telling the trouble she would've caused.

Willow walked over to the spot where Tara hangs suspended by the binding spell, and looks at her. Tara's eyes are open… she stares at Willow. Willow reaches out to touch her hair. Tara flinches, but can't move.

" I'm not going to hurt you, baby," Willow says, aggrieved. " Ok, I did hurt you… but that was only because you sided with THEM. Don't you see? They hate us… they laugh at us behind our backs. They spit on us… not literally, but figuratively. I'm only trying to get justice here. Don't you see that?"

Tara looks as if she wants to say something. She tries, but can't. Willow waves her hand, breaking the spell she put on her.

"Willow, please, you gotta stop this!" Tara pleads with her, hoping to reach whatever of Willow might still be here, " They don't hate you, they love you. They care about you. They… just want to help you."

"Yeah, help me. Help me be weak, help me die, " Willow says, impatiently, " They want to help me, alright!" Willow's eyes flash. " I don't get you, Tara. You know what it's like to be persecuted. Your own family tried to make you out as a demon. Yet you stick up for these bunch of freaks and bullies…"

" Because they stood up for me against my 'family', you did too… don't you remember?" Tara says, " Buffy and Faith, Xander and Giles… all of you, even Dawnie, stood up for me! You all made me part of your 'family'. That's what we are, isn't it? Family?" Tara asks.

For a brief moment, a look of doubt crosses Willow's face, but she… or whatever she is now, suppresses it. She waves her hand impatiently, silencing Tara once more.

" I don't even know why I bother, " Willow says, " it's pretty obvious you're in their camp. I can't make you see that was a trick, just something to make us all grateful and humble, to keep us down… family, my ass" She storms away from Tara, apparently disgusted with her. But despite her words and attitude, something shows on her face, a bit of uncertainty… as if she's not sure this is the right course.

**_Don't you get weak on me now! _**the voice inside her says.**_ We're too close to our vengeance for you to go soft now!_**

" But… they're my friends!" Willow says, arguing with the voice

Right… and they've treated you so well. Kicking you out, making you crazy. They drove you to kill yourself…or have you forgotten that?

****

"No… that's not true. I couldn't deal with what I'd done!" Willow says, remorsefully.

What did you do? You brought her back, from death! You gave her back to that ungrateful slut, Faith. Do they thank you? NO! They treat you like dirt. They should be kissing your feet, worshipping you. But no, they make you feel guilty.

****

" But I did wrong. I … I brought about an apocalypse. I never should've…." Willow protests, but is cut off.

Says who? Giles? That weakling? That fool! He's as jealous as the rest of your power! You're the powerful one, and they can't stand it. They want to hold you down. They have to…or you'll be the one adored, not them! You deserve to be loved and feared and worshipped. They are nothing to you. NOTHING!

****

"This is wrong, so wrong… I can't do this!" Willow says, trying to escape the voice, " Vengeance… this is just murder, not vengeance… not justice!"

How can you say that? How can you even be so weak, after what I've showed you. What you can be. How this world will bow to you, kiss your feet, make you their Queen? You can have it all, if you want it. If you reach for it; but it won't be given to you. You've got to pay the price for glory. Stop being so weak. Be strong for once, Willow!

****

" I… I can't … I can't " Willow cries, covering her ears, trying to shut out the voice.

Faith appears before her, arms crossed over her chest. " C'mon, Red, go for it. You know you wanna!" She sneers, " or … are you just too much of a coward, Red? Too much of a loser? Yeah, that's what I figured. You're nothin' but a tight assed uptight loser!"

Buffy appears, smirking, " You pathetic wimp, " She says, caustically, " You think I could care about you? You're… beneath me! Get real, Will. You're nothing but a little geek who couldn't. You're nothing, you'll always be nothing!"

"No, no, stop… stop it" Willow cries out.

Giles appears, his expression stern. " You play with magicks like they're toys. You're reckless and foolish. Stop it! Stop it NOW!"

Tara appears before her, and turns her back, " You expect me to love you, to respect you. But you always are weak, a nothing. Always following in Buffy's shadow. You're pathetic, Willow. I despise you!"

"No…Tara, no …." Willow pleads, " Please baby."

But then another voice is heard. It's soft and calm, like a balm to a wound. It sounds like Dawn, but and yet different.

" No… Willow, don't listen. It's a trick, this thing is tricking you, trying to humiliate you. It wants to use you!"

But an incredible, gut wrenching, mind shattering pain erupts in Willow. She grabs her head, and sinks to the floor. The visions of Buffy, Faith, Giles and Tara surround her, taunting her.

Loser!

Wimp!

Fool!

Reckless child!

You disgust me

I hate you

Nothing, you're nothing!

Coward

" No, stop, please stop!" Willow cries out in anguish and pain, " Stop ….stop!" . She rolls around on the floor, as wave after wave of searing pain rips through her

**_I can help you, Willow, _**the voice says to her, almost kindly, **_let me make the pain go away. Just do what you know you have to. I can make it better. Don't let them hurt you anymore. Get your justice. You deserve it. Look how they treat you!_**

****

The group of surrounds her, joining hands. They circle her and in sing song tones call out

" Loser, wimp, coward , Fool . Loser, wimp, coward, fool! Loser, wimp , coward, fool!" They keep circling her, taunting her.

" Stop it! Stop it ! STOP IT!" Willow erupts. She seems to fly off the floor, and hangs suspended above the ground. Her eyes are black and flashing . She throws black bolts of energy at the apparitions, the force causing the mansion to shake on its foundation.

**_That's my girl_**the voice says, **_Hurt them. Make them hurt like they hurt you._**

" Yes, like they hurt me" Willow says, her voice hard and hollow sounding

**_Don't be weak, be strong!_**

"Yes, be strong. Don't let them see me weak," Willow says, almost like a chant

Make them pay. Torture them, My darling, kill them. Make them suffer, like you've suffered,

"Yes, Kill them. Make them pay, make them all pay!"

* * *

BAM! Bam –Bam- Bam! BAM! BAM!

Buffy hits the punching bag over and over, working off her frustration. Her expression is set and grim. Her eyes are cold, flinty and have an angry gleam. She's sweating, having been at this for awhile.

BAM! Bam –Bam- Bam! BAM! BAM!

Giles walks into the training room, and watches his slayer work. He has a worried expression on his face. In all the years he's trained Buffy, in all the menaces she's faced, he's never seen her so… livid. He fears she's acting rashly; thinking with her heart and emotions, and not her head. _What do you expect, Giles?_ He thinks to himself, _She's had everyone she cares about hurt and /or stolen from her. Of course she's angry!_ Still, he's worried. _If she doesn't calm down, she'll rush in without thinking… and get hurt. Or killed_

" Buffy, " He says, mildly. When he gets no response, he says it louder, " Buffy! BUFFY!"

She continues to pound on the punching bag, not acknowledging him.

" Buffy, ENOUGH!" He says, coming around to hold the bag, trying to stop her. She lands one powerful punch, which, from the expression on his face, he feels, even through the bag. He staggers back, making a winded sound.

" What do you want, Giles?" Buffy says, shortly. She doesn't have time for this… she has to train. She starts punching on the bag again.

" I want you to stop hitting the bag long enough to listen to me, " Giles says, shouting to get her attention.

Buffy stops hitting the bag. She walks over to Giles, standing nearly toe to toe with him. She looks him in the eye.

" Listen to what, Giles?" Buffy says, her tone less than polite, " Listen to you to tell me to calm down again? To think again? Think about WHAT, Giles? Willow has Dawn and Faith. There's not telling what she'll do to them!"

" What about the fact that she obviously plans a little surprise for you when you arrive, Buffy?" Giles says," How do you plan to help them if you're injured… or worse?"

"What choice do I really have, Giles?", Buffy replies, turning back and starting to punch the bag again, " Think maybe I should just leave them to her tender mercies?"

"No, but we should go in with some kind of plan, Buffy, " Giles insists, " going in blindly isn't going to get it done".

" We? There's no 'we' , Giles. You saw the note, " Buffy said, " I've got no plans on burying you!"

" So instead you're just going in alone, " Giles retorts, " Yes, that's a marvelous plan. So, instead I'll have the pleasure of burying you … again! Along with Faith and Dawn."

"Giles, " Buffy's tone softens, knowing she's pushed him too far, " I don't mean to say you're not good in a fight. I can't put you in that kind of danger."

" Buffy, it's my choice. I would rather go with you, to back you up. But I'm going nonetheless" Giles says, " I know you feel it's your fight, but it's my fight also."

Buffy ran her hand through her hair. She knew she could try to argue Giles out of it, but it would just take time. Better she handle it later. For now, she'd have to give in.

"Ok, fine, come along, " Buffy says, not overly gracious, " But if you get killed, I'm so telling".

Giles smiles a tight smile, knowing Buffy's trying to lighten the situation. " I'll get the weapons ready, " He says, turning away.

"Giles?" Buffy calls out , stopping him.

" Yes?" He turns back.

" Do you have … I don't know… like anti-magic spells? Something we can use against her? Maybe slow her down a little?"

Giles looks thoughtful, " I might have something along those lines… I'll go check my volumes" He says, and turning, he leaves the training room.

Buffy turns back to the punching bag, and her frustration begins to rise again. She starts punching it again, each blow a killing blow. She's trying to get her emotions under control; she'll need every bit of concentration to defeat Willow. With each blow, she tries to narrow her focus, bring her mind onto the task at hand. Bam- Bam _Gotta do this _Bam-Bam _Have to find a way to stop her _Bam-Bam _There's gotta be a way _Bam-Bam _But why now?_

_Why now when everything was just going right?_

Bam-Bam Bam-Bam Bam-Bam Bam-Bam

* * *

Faith wakes up near sunset, to find herself chained to a wall in the main room of the mansion. She's gagged, and hurting.

_Shit. Where the hell am I? _She looks around the room. _Something is real familiar about this place._ She sees the French doors leading out into the garden, and the hall flanked by huge fireplaces. _Well, hell, it's Angel's digs. Why'd the bitch bring me here, anyway?_ Faith struggles against the chains, but the strain just shoots pain through her. She grunts in pain, the sound muffled by her gag. She relaxes for a moment, letting her body go limp against the chains. Then she struggles again, but with the same result. Except she felt a small movement in her bonds… as if she loosened something. She goes limp, the sweat building on her brow._ Damn that hurts, _she growls to herself. _But if I can just keep it up… maybe I can get myself outta this._ But it feels as if her whole body's on fire, and she is breathing hard from her exertions. Still, she struggles gain.

" Oh, look… puppy's awake " Willow's voice floats down to her.

Faith looks up, seeing Willow descending the stairs. Two figures, seemingly wrapped in energy, are floating behind her. She reaches the bottom of the stairs, and the two figures float past her, to hang suspended in the middle of the room. Faith finally recognizes them.

"Dawn, Tara!" Faith says, hoarsely, " What've you done to them?" She looks at Willow with a hard stare.

" Nothing… yet" Willow says brightly, " Just keeping them wrapped up 'til the blonde bitch arrives." Willow walks over to Faith, and checks her chains, " I do so hope those aren't too tight… actually, I hope they are too tight… but thought I'd be polite. So, puppy, " Willow says, stroking Faith's hair, " Did we have a nice nap?" Willow sees Faith's malevolent stare, and smiles faintly. " Well, well… looks like puppy would bite if she weren't muzzled," She chuckles meanly. Faith lunges at her, but is brought up short by the chains. " Oh, that's not nice. Bad dog, " Willow says, slapping Faith, " Bad dog!"

Faith just glares at her, her cheek and pride stinging from the slap.

" Oh, does puppy think she could do better if I let her out of her chains?" Willow taunts her, " let's see, shall we?" Willow says a small spell, and the manacles fall away from Faith's wrists. Faith wriggles her wrists, not believing it. She lunges at Willow, her pain for the moment forgotten, her only desire is to knock over and beat down on the witch.

But she lunges _through_ Willow, who disappears right before her eyes. With a grunt, she overbalances and falls to the floor, a pain shooting through her body. She lies there, panting, frustrated. She hears a laugh coming from behind her. She turns, and sees Willow standing by the French doors.

" Ahhh… puppy go boom," Willow chortles. " What's wrong, puppy? Come get me, I'm right over here."

Faith, despite her pain, lurches to her feet. Her chest is wracked with a dull throbbing, and her leg feels like it's on fire, but she launches herself at Willow… who at the last moment fades out in front of Faith's eyes. Faith just looks confused, and is in minor agony. Again, from behind her she hears Willow laugh.

" Poor puppy seems to be chasing her own tail. I'm over here, doggie" Willow taunts. Faith turns to see Willow standing by the stone arch leading into the dining room. Her face tightens up in frustration, but she's not playing anymore. She just stays where she's at.

" Ahhh… tired already? Poor puppy!" Willow sniggers, " Well, I guess if you don't want to play anymore…" Faith finds herself being dragged back to where she was chained. She fights against the spell, but it's a losing battle. The chains clank back down on her wrists, and she's chained back to the wall.

" Well, gotta give you points, Faith. I really expected you to try to 'catch' me a few more times, but then, I guess no one could be as dumb as you look" Willow says, reappearing close to her.

Faith, still gagged, can't speak, but she just gives Willow a witheringly contemptuous look. She turns her head away.

"What?" Willow asks, a little thrown. She comes over and unties the slayer's gag… or starts to. Faith turns quickly on her, does a head butt, and then a leg sweep. _Hurt like hell, but so worth it! _She watches as Willow tumbles onto her butt.

" Bitch!" Willow says, then shoots an energy bolt at Faith, who even with the gag screams. Willow just smiles. " We'll see how much you're precious Buffy wants you after I've had my fun with you" .

Faith closes her eyes, bracing herself for the blow. _Fuck me, I went a bit too far this time. The bitch's gonna kill me! I'm sorry, B. I fucked up._ Faith tenses for the blow, thinking of her beloved, hoping that'll make what she believes is going to be the end of her, less painful. She waits.

And waits

And waits. And nothing comes. She opens her eyes, and sees Willow on her knees, grasping her head._ What the fuck?_ Willow looks up at her, and her face is confused… and her eyes are green, not black. Willow gets up, and goes to Faith… who backs up, expecting a trick.

" Faith! Goddess, what… is this?" Willow asks, sounding confused. " You're hurt!"

"Really on the ball, Red, considering" Faith snarls at her, " What's the joke, huh? Just trying to make it hurt more?"

" Joke?" Willow says, shaking her head, " I don't understand. Where… this is Angel's mansion…what're we doing here?"

" Get off it, Red. Not buying the act." Faith says, contemptuously. " I know you think I'm a moron, but even I'm not that stupid".

"Act?" Willow looks at Faith as if she's gone crazy, " hey… why're you chained to the wall?"

" Would you just kill me already?" Faith spits out, " God, do I have to put up with this torture, too?"

" I don't understand, " Willow says plaintively, " But we gotta do something about those chains" Unlike before, Willow doesn't seem to have it all together, magically. She goes to faith, and tries to loosen the chains, with no success. Her brow is furrowed, thinking of a spell to loosen the chains.

"Would you quit playing around?" Faith growls, " I told ya I'm not buying the " I don't remember" act. Either kill me, or get the hell away from me… but don't pretend you're concerned about me!".

" It…it's like a nightmare, Faith, " Willow says, still struggling with the chains, still thinking of a spell, " I… remember parts of it… oh, god… I set the house on Revello drive on fire… " Willow sounds shocked, " didn't I?"

"Fine, we'll play it you're way. You don't remember. Well, listen up, Witch. You destroyed the Magic Box, trying to kill Giles and Anya, " Faith says, her tone sarcastic, " Then, for giggles, you came to our house, burned it down, and kidnapped Dawn… you and Tara!" Faith growls, " never mind you've treated me like dog crap ever since raising Buffy back up, so please… cut the 'friends' act, and just do what ever the hell you're gonna do, ok?"

" I know I treated you like crap, Faith, " Willow says, her voice sounding remorseful, " I… I was jealous. Jealous of you and Buffy, what you had, who you were, that you got all the attention and stuff. I… felt useless, and I… took it out on you, accusing you of lots of stuff I know you wouldn't do" Willow finally gives up on the manacles, "But, the last thing I really remember clearly is … trying to kill myself. After that, it's all dark and distorted, like a dream. I remember in the dream I did bad things, awful things… and oh, goddess, it's all real, isn't it?" She looks fearful, " What the hell is wrong with me?"

Faith stares at Willow, feeling more scared of her now than before. _God, she's a total nut job! I can handle evil… insanity… don't think so!_ She's bracing herself for anything, expecting Willow to go Psycho any minute on her, when a voice quietly speaks to her… in her head!

Faith?

"Who…what the hell?" Faith says, realizing the voice is INSIDE her head. _Who… Dawn?_

_And more, Faith._ The voice says simply.

_The glow thing?_ Faith asks, _You? You're here?_

_Glow thing? Oh… humans have such colorful terms. Yes, it's the 'glow thing' as you put it, but I'm Dawn too._

_Whatever! _Faith replies, _What the hell is going on? How come you haven't busted us outta here?_

_My power doesn't work that way, Faith,_ Dawn replies, _I can't affect physical forms, only energies. I've managed to temporarily break the influence of the darkness that infects your friend, but it's only temporary. You need to get out of those chains while you can, get away._

That's just swell… But Red doesn't seem to remember how to bust me out! Faith protests

The magicks she's using aren't hers. But I've put it in her mind how to break the chains. Once free, get out! Find Buffy. I can't hold back the thing much longer. Dawn replies.

Ummm… not running fast here… broken foot, remember?… No, I guess you wouldn't…you were gone.

It's been taken care of, Dawn replies, test it.

Faith does, and finds her foot doesn't hurt… she doesn't hurt at all! What the hell is going on here?

No time. She's ready to release you. Just go….

What about you? Faith asks, I can't just leave you ….

I need to be here when you and Buffy return. Now go!

"Faith… I think I … " Willow stops, and grabs her head, crying out in pain." No…no….not now! " She turns quickly, her face pale, her eyes bloodshot…and turning darker. " Gotta be quick…. It hurts…oh goddess…" She mutters something, and Faith feels the chains holding her loosen. She shakes them off, and starts moving towards the French doors leading towards the Garden.

" Run… Faith…it's coming" Willow cries, sinking to her knees. Her voice is changing timbre. Faith, without further prompting… crashes through the French doors and runs. A fireball just misses her, flying over her shoulder. She dodges, running in an erratic pattern to make herself a harder target.

" COME BACK HERE, YOU BITCH!" Willow roars, her voice sounding alien. She throws another fireball at the fleeing Faith, but misses her. Faith runs up the stairs and out of sight, escaping, barely, another tossed fireball.

"WHAT THE HELL???!!!!!???? HOW DID SHE GET LOOSE? " Willow screams at no one in particular, " HOW DID SHE GET WELL??"

She hears a stirring behind her, and whirls around, seeing Tara moving within her binding spell.

"YOU!" Willow bellows. Then she lowers her voice, but it still sounds angry… and deadly." You've betrayed me for the last time, Tara. " Willow holds up her hand, and a huge fireball appears. She throws it, and looking satisfied, waits for it to hit, incinerating Tara. But it hits an invisible wall before it strikes, and bounces back. She jumps out of the way, barely in time. She looks surprised, off balance. " What the… " She says, her voice sounding a little uncertain…perhaps fearful. She looks around, but sees no one. " I don't know how you did that, but … I'll deal with you later" Willow says. She paces around, her

face uncertain. She doesn't know what the hell is happening here… and she doesn't like it one bit." Gotta think… didn't plan on this… gotta prepare… dammit… " She turns to Tara, her face spiteful and enraged, " You're going to pay for this, Tara… dearly".

She storms out of the room, leaving Tara and Dawn.

* * *

The sun begins to set over Sunnydale. At the mansion on Crawford street, the shadows lengthen, becoming deeper, more enveloping. The already ominous atmosphere grows even threatening. It's as if the mansion, like some great beast, is waiting for its prey to approach.

Buffy Summers standing off a ways from the mansion, stares into the gathering gloom. Up until now, her anger and her sense of betrayal have kept her going, pushed her forward. But now it's down to the crunch, and her own sense of unease comes to the fore. Can I even do this? God, I'm so fucking lost here, it's not funny. Faith's the one with the smarts about this stuff… God, I wish she were here with me! She'd know what to do .What the hell am I gonna do here? For a moment Buffy is lost in self pity, then she shakes herself out. No… there's way too much on the line to get all weepy now, Buffy. Just get yourself together. You can do this. You gotta do this!

She sets down her weapons bag, and takes out a crossbow. She loads it up, and contemplates whether to bring the quiver of arrows with. She decides it would just be in the way; she's only gonna get one, maybe two shots off before Willow does something to make the weapon useless. She reaches into the bag, and takes a short sword, putting it through her belt. Probably pointless, but I feel better having it. She stands, gathering courage for the assault.

Giles walks up to her, and she notes he's also carrying a cross bow… and a book.

" Any luck with the counter spell stuff, Giles?" Buffy asks, looking at the volume he's holding.

" I did manage to find some spells to help counter her magic, and afford you some protection, " Giles said, " But I'll need to be close to make them work effectively".

Buffy sighs. She would rather Giles were anywhere but here… preferably in Australia… somewhere safe. But she knows she needs help, and she has no choice. " Ok, Giles, but try to stay out of sight. Keep out of the line of fire… I'm gonna need all the help I can get, and if Willow catches you…" She doesn't finish, knowing Giles will get the uptake.

" Don't worry about me, Buffy. I'll be fine. Just concentrate on what you need to do" Giles reassures her.

" Yeah, and anyway, you know I'm the get-beat-up guy" A voice from behind Buffy says. She whirls, her crossbow at the ready, and sees Xander standing behind her, with a small smile on his face. Her fright is replaced by relief…and then anger.

"Xander! I could've killed you!" Buffy scolds. She grows suspicious, " What're you doing here, anyway?"

"That's my fault, actually," Giles speaks up, " He inquired as to where the battle was to be fought, and I … told him."

" I was kinda wondering if there was room for one more at this party, " Xander says, " And hopin' some of the way cool party favors were still being handed out."

"Xander, " Buffy says, " I know how you feel about this. You don't have to do this! I understand, really"

" No, Buff," Xander replies, " Actually, I do gotta do this. I know we've kinda stressed over this, and I'm still hopin' somehow we can save Willow. But we've fought too many times together not to be a part of this. I'm still freaked over Willow being the bad guy, but I'm here, if you want me."

Buffy stands quietly for a minute, then puts down her crossbow. Without a word, she takes Xander into a huge hug. Xander, a little surprised, returns the hug, smiling his trademark goofy smile. Buffy looks up at him, her eyes shiny with tears.

" Course I want you along, ya big dope, " She teases him, " Wouldn't be the same if I didn't have you to worry about" She grins, and hits him lightly on the arm.

" Ow… ow, ow, ow!" Xander says, rubbing his arm. It's more in fun than in pain… though Buffy's little taps can hurt.

" C'mon, you big baby, " Buffy says, turning towards her weapons bag. She reaches in and hands him a battle axe." Just don't cut your foot off, ok?"

" I'll try not to, " Xander says agreeably, " So, what's the plan?"

" Get in, bust out Faith and Dawn, try to stop her if we can. If not, run like hell!" Buffy says.

" Short and sweet, and too the point, " Xander says, " I like it!"

" Glad to hear. Cuz, there's no back-up plan", Buffy says.

" Giles, are you ready with that spell?" Buffy asks. Giles nods.

" Ok, then, lets go" Buffy says, leading the way towards the mansion.

They quietly approach the stairs leading down to the garden. Buffy puts up her hand to stop them.

" Giles, is this close enough for you to do your mojo?" Buffy asks, in a whisper.

" I suppose so, Buffy," Giles replies," Though I would like to be closer."

" No. I want you out of the way, where she doesn't have a chance to see you, " Buffy says. She's still afraid Giles is going to get hurt, or worse. Bad enough worrying about Xander. " Anyway, from here you can watch our backs, in case she has some trick up her sleeve."

" Very well, Buffy, " Giles says, knowing that pushing it would only make it worse, " just be careful. I'm not sure how effective these counter spells will be."

" Now he tells me, " Buffy says, with false bravado. She nods at Xander, " lets went".

Buffy and Xander sneak down the stairs, keeping as quiet as possible, hoping for the advantage of surprise. But as their feet hit the stone floor of the garden, a bright light seems to come on, magically. Xander fades back a little, on Buffy's wave of her hand.

"Damn," Buffy swears to herself. The French doors fly open, and Willow comes floating out.

" Hey Buffy, " Willow says, brightly, " Sorry if I spoiled your surprise, but hey? What kind of hostess would I be if I didn't prepare for my special guest?" Willow waves her hand, and a sword appears, and starts towards Buffy. She puts down her crossbow, and takes out her sword, ready to do battle.

Buffy and the floating sword circle around, Buffy trying to figure how to fight it, the floating sword looking for an opening. They keep circling around, the sword feinting, Buffy dodging its thrusts. Finally, Buffy takes the offensive, bring her sword up and hitting the other sword. She cries out in pain as her own sword begins to glow, and she drops it, shaking her hand. It felt like it was on fire.

" Oh, dear me! Did I forget to tell you? The enchanted sword is charged by mystic fire. Silly me!" Willow laughs. She watches as Buffy, now weaponless, ducks and runs from the sword pursuing her. She shakes her head and thinks This is almost too easy.

Just as the sword has Buffy backed into a corner, ready to strike, something happens. It begins to glow brighter and brighter, then, without warning, it flashes bright white, and dissolves. Willow, taken by surprise, looks dumbfounded.

"What the hell?" She says, her voice edged with the tiniest fear, " How? What?" But before she can say anything else, a crossbow bolt hits her in the shoulder, and she screams in pain. She whirls around, and sees Xander standing there with the crossbow.

"XANDER!" Willow rages, " What the hell? You're with her?" Willow, confused, backs off, muttering a spell. The bolt in her shoulder dissolves, and the wound heals itself, " Well, just a tip. You're puny little weapons can't really harm me!" Her face flushes red, and she turns towards Xander, " But this? Can really make you wish you'd never been born" She raises her arm to throw a bolt of energy, but suddenly finds herself flying into the closest wall. Buffy attacks her, throwing punches and kicks. Surprised, Willow is temporarily off balance, trying to fight off Buffy's attack. But she manages to send an energy blast, which knocks Buffy back, but doesn't harm her. Willow is perplexed. That blast should've hurt her a lot worse. Something's not right here! She quickly throws a fireball at Xander. It flies towards him, but then seems to bounce off a shield surrounding him. A light goes off in her head.

" Well… I get it now," Willow says, turning towards Buffy, " You cast a protection spell. Pretty sure Xander couldn't have done it. I've got to admit, I wasn't expecting it. Quite impressive, Buffy" Willow smirks, "But it really won't help you, you know. Just because I can't do magic on you, doesn't mean I can't do it on me". Willow brings her hands up, and starts muttering a small spell… energy starts to whirl around her, and she absorbs it into herself. She looks up, smiling. " That should do it. I believe I'm strong enough now to kick your ass into the ocean, Buffy. Wanna test it?" Without warning, Willow strides over to Buffy, and throws a punch, hitting the slayer and knocking her a few yards back into a waiting wall. Buffy , stunned, slides down the wall. " Yup, packs quite a punch, it does, " Willow mocks. Seeing Buffy stunned, she turns towards Xander.

"Well, I gotta admit, I didn't think I'd see you here, Xan" Willow says, advancing on him, " But hey, I guess I shoulda expected it. You always did have a jonesing for Buffy…or anyone that wasn't me, come to that, " Willow says, her voice having a mocking edge to it, " Why I expected you to act differently now is beyond me. Guess I thought we were friends, but hey, wrong again" She hits Xander, who goes flying. She starts to advance on him again, ready to finish the job, when she instead finds herself flying, the recipient of a kick. She quickly recovers, and turns, seeing Buffy placing herself between Xander and herself. She smirks.

" Well, well… shoulda known, " Willow says, acidly, " You can't take a hint, can you Buffy? Always riding to the rescue. Kinda annoying habit, you got. Well, just have to take you out first!" She rushes Buffy, and the fight is joined.

The two of them go all out to win. The fight moves around the garden, each one getting in a punch or kick occasionally, but neither one getting the upper hand. Every once in awhile, Xander gets up and tries to join the fight, but Willow just keeps knocking him back. Then it's back to the main event, each woman doing her best to knock the other out. Then Buffy seems to get a break, landing a series of kicks and blows. Willow is starting to weaken, but she doesn't give up. In a desperate move , she manages to fake Buffy out, getting her to throw a kick that misses, and leaving herself open. Willow grabs the slayer, and with near superhuman strength, tosses her through the French doors, and into the manor itself. Buffy, surprised, not prepared for the maneuver, doesn't have time to brace herself. She lies stunned, near unconscious in the main room of the mansion.

Willow, looking pleased with herself, starts to follow Buffy in, when suddenly a bottle breaks near her, shooting up fire. Startled, she whips around, and at the top of the stairs, she sees Faith, lighting another Molotov cocktail.

" You seem to like throwing fireballs, bitch" Faith calls down, sneering at her, " Let's see how you like 'em back". She tosses the bottle in hand, and reaches for another.

Willow, surprised, doesn't move quite fast enough, and though the bottle misses, some of the contents splash on her. All of a sudden she's on fire! Another bottle lands, closer, and again she's splashed by gasoline, which feeds the fire.

Faith, seeing the effects of her toss, throws the remaining two bottles without lighting them, aiming so again they hit close to Willow, splashing her with more fuel. Willow is encased in a pillar of flame.

" Burn, baby, burn," Faith says, trotting down the stair, a battle axe in hand. She plans on finishing this quickly. 

Inside the manor, Buffy is recovering. She looks up, and sees the floating forms of Tara and Dawn. She goes to them. She touches the energy field around them, and it's like she's been kicked by a mule… she doubles over in pain.

Buffy!

Buffy looks up, trying to see who called her, but only sees Dawn and Tara.

Buffy. It's me, Dawn! Hurry… go outside. Things are coming to a head, and they need you

"Dawn? Where are you?" Buffy cries out, looking around.

Go, Buffy. Don't worry. I'm safe. Just go!

"Dawn, we gotta get out of here" Buffy says, moving further into the house. She can't accept that Dawn is ok, or that she's talking in her head. Then she feels a pressure against her, pushing her back.

Go, now!

Buffy tries, but can't move against the force hitting her. She's pushed out the door, into the Garden.

" You idiot" A voice comes out from the pillar of fire. Shortly after, Willow emerges. She's sneering, and looks at Faith with disgust, " Did you really think that little … match could harm me?"

" No, but it sure burns the house nicely, " Faith says, looking over Willow's shoulder. Willow turns, and sees the missed shots actually were aimed at the mansion. " So? The house burns, I care why?…." Willow says.

"Well, far as I can tell, Tara's still in there…" Faith says, grinning, " Just gonna let her burn?"

" Maybe I should, after she betrayed me!" Willow says. Then, a part of her that's still her gets worried, " But what the hell? I'll just bring her and the brat out here. Easier to kill close range!" Willow starts to mumble a spell, but at that moment Buffy attacks, knocking her off her feet. Willow turns to her, and smirks, " Well, I see the party girl's back. Take this, Slayer!" But as she raises her hand, a crossbow bolt goes through her hand, "What the hell?" She screams in pain, bringing her hand down.

Xander, recovered from his brief rendezvous with unconsciousness, is standing on the steps, crossbow in hand. His face is grim. " Don't make me shoot you again, Will, " Xander says quietly.

" This you mean?" Willow says, contemptuously. " You don't get it, do you Xan?" She starts to work the healing spell, but two Slayers attack her simultaneously. She wasn't expecting it, and is knocked down. Faith leaps on her and starts beating on her. Willow throws a punch, knocking Faith away… only to be replaced by Buffy. Buffy starts punching her.

" Two slayers, no waiting, Will, " Buffy mocks, punching away at her face.

" Get off me, bitch!" Willow says, trying to get a punch in, but Buffy's fists are flying fast, knocking her again and again. She seems to weaken, when suddenly a dark glow appears around her, and repels Buffy off her body.

What happens next shocks both of the slayers into a stunned silence. Willow seems to float up off the ground, spinning til her body is vertical. Then , while floating, she begins to change.

She grows larger… much larger. She grows to ten, then fifteen , the finally twenty feet tall. Any resemblance to Willow is lost as she grows larger. It's as if her body merges with the shadow glow around her, and changes. Her arms and legs become long and scaly, her hands becoming sharp claws. Her body stretches and grows large, bat-like wings Her face elongates, become sharp pointed at what once was the chin, but now has become an mouth… a mouth full of razor like fangs. Her eyes grow larger, the pupils elongating into vertical slits, resembling more like a lizard's eyes than human. Large, wicked sharp and curled horns grow out of her head… three, one to each temple, and one in the center of her forehead.

" I tire of this game, " the voice, no longer sounding remotely human, declares, "it's time you die, slayers, as will you world after you!" It starts to advance on the now retreating slayers.

" So not liking this, Faith" Buffy says, trying to find somewhere to get away from the … thing following them.

" I thought you were the impossible odds girl, B, " Faith says, sweating a little, " I mean, it's just and overgrown lizard!"

" Yeah, with teeth like a sharks, and … oh screw this!" Buffy says, pulling her sword. She stops retreating. Faith pulls on her

" B, have you gone NUTS?" Faith says, " You can't fight that thing… we can't… hell, a battalion can't".

" If we're gonna die, Faith, we might as well go out swinging," Buffy says, holding her sword up defiantly.

Faith looks at Buffy like she's mad. Then she sighs, and pulls out her trusty battle axe. " Oh well, guess I'm nuts too."

With a yell, both slayers charge the beast… who can't decide if it's amused, or insulted. It lashes out with one of its talons, and slaps both the slayers away like flies. They find themselves on the floor… about 15 feet away. Faith recovers first, helping Buffy to her feet.

" Ok, B… that didn't work… any other plans?" Faith asks, bemused.

" Ummm… run?" Buffy says.

But before they can do anything, the ground shakes, and a huge rumbling sound is heard coming from the Mansion. Both look, and see that an intensely bright green light emerges through the French doors, the windows, and any other portals it can slip through. They look at each other in surprise. They've seen that light before.

The light continues to spill out, coalescing and growing, It becomes larger and larger, dwarfing not only the slayers, but the creature threatening them. It continues to grow and spread, the eerie glow lighting up the surrounding area. The pure energy of the light seems to swirl and fill in any dark corner, any crack ; any place that is empty and dark.

"What the hell is this?" The thing so recently inhabiting Willow's body, roars.

" You're doom," A voice sounding a lot like Dawn says.

The earth tremors violently , and the energy begins to swirl around the creature. Where it makes contact with it, bright sparks fly off, seeming to tear at the creature's essence. The creature howls in something beyond pain, beyond despair. It seems to howl in a voice of it's own death.

The ground rumbles and shakes; the Mansion starts to rip apart. Still the energy attacks the creature, surrounding it and growing brighter. Rivulets of light start to slash through the creature. It fights back, trying to claw and bite the energy, but it's a losing battle.

Buffy, coming out of her daze first, turns towards the mansion. She sees it shaking, parts of it starting to shake loose. The ground shudders again, and the mansion starts to move on its foundations. Buffy starts to run towards the French doors.

" Buffy… what're you doing?" Faith calls, starting to run after her.

"Dawn's in there… and Tara!" Buffy says, " I gotta get them!"

" Wait… Buffy!" Faith calls, but the ground trembles violently, and Faith is knocked off her feet. Buffy disappears through the French doors.

Inside the mansion, everything has been thrown helter- skelter around the room. The furniture, such as it was, has been thrown against the walls, the statuary tossed and broken, vases and urns overturned and smashed. Parts of the ceiling have fallen, large chunks laying willy-nilly around the floor. In the middle of the front room Buffy finds Tara and Dawn. Dawn is lying motionless on the floor, seemingly unconscious. Tara, looking frightened, is over her, trying to protect her from falling debris.

"B-B-Buffy! W-What's going on?" Tara asks in a frightened voice. She looks shell-shocked. Buffy moves towards them.

"Never mind right now, Tara," Buffy says," Are you hurt?"

" N-N-No , I'm ok," Tara says." But I didn't want to leave Dawnie, and I can't lift her!"

"It's ok, it's going to be ok" Buffy says, trying to reassure the frightened woman, " Just help me lift her, and we'll get out of here".

Buffy lifts Dawn by the shoulders, and Tara her legs. They move towards the front door, the closest exit. They narrowly miss getting buried under another break in the ceiling. A beam from above effectively blocks that exit.

" Out through the garden, hurry, " Buffy barks, " We don't have much time". The walls shake and shudder, as if confirming her words. They make it to the garden exit, only to find the doorframe has shifted and broken, leaning against it's support beams leaving only a small exit… enough for one person at a time, but no more.

" Tara, crawl through, and I'll hand Dawn out to you, " Buffy says.

Tara crawls through and turns around, waiting for Dawn. Buffy slides Dawn out as gently, but as quickly as she can. Faith, seeing what's happening, runs over and assists Tara in pulling Dawn out to safety.

"C'mon, B. Dawn's out. Get out before… " but before Faith can finish, a huge implosion occurs behind them.

The green energy, absorbing the dark creature, has been turning brighter and brighter, until now it's almost white tinged with green. The creature, finally absorbed, sets off a chain reaction which causes the energy to implode upon itself. The resulting vacuum pulls Faith, Tara and Dawn away from the mansion, and causes the mansion, already critically weakened by the quakes, to collapse. The three women are thrown into the wall surround the garden forcefully, knocking them unconscious.

For the moment, all is silent

* * *

Giles kneels by the unconscious slayer, gently trying to rouse her. He watched the maelstrom from above, as he kept casting the protection spells, hoping it would protect the group. Well done, Giles ,he reproaches himself As always, staying on the outside, watching .Waiting, never doing. He checks Faith for injuries, but as with the others, he only finds some superficial cuts and bruises. He feels relief, but his expression is restrained.

Xander rounds the corner, his face bleak." I can't find them Giles, anywhere" he says.

" They have to be here somewhere, Xander" Giles rebuts, " Keep looking, please".

" I've looked over every inch of this garden, Giles… I can't find Buffy or Willow" Xander replies, defensively

" Look again, Xander" Giles says quietly, but firmly.

" Giles…." Xander starts.

" Just look, " Giles says, his tone harsh, not brooking argument. Xander, with a strange expression on his face, goes off to look.

Faith fights waking up.

She doesn't want to leave where she is. She's lying in a field, in the shade of a tree. Buffy is lying next to her, head on Faith's shoulder. It's quiet here, and peaceful. She feels Buffy's warm, soft breath tickling her neck, as the breeze blows lightly through her lover's golden hair. Faith feels a rare moment of peace and contentment. She strokes Buffy's silken strands, and wonders how she can make this moment last forever.

Even as that thought crosses Faith's mind, she can feel a tugging at her, as if someone were trying to pull her away. She fights it, not wanting, never wanting to leave this place. Buffy places a hand on Faith's chest, and leans in to kiss her. Faith feels Buffy's soft lips caress hers, and she sighs. It's all so perfect, if only that tugging would go away!

" It's all ok now, Faith, " Buffy murmurs, snuggling against her. " It's all going to be fine now"

Faith feels herself being pulled away. Buffy is growing more distant and indistinct. She struggles against the force pulling her, but she can't make headway. Everything is growing dim, and she's dragged upward….

Faith opens her eyes. Her head is throbbing, and her body feels like it's been through the wash cycle a few times too many. She groans, and lifts herself into a sitting position. She sees the concerned face of Giles over her.

" Giles? What happened?" Faith asks, looking around. She's still stunned and a little groggy. She starts to stand up.

" Take it easy, Faith, " Giles says gently, putting a hand on her shoulder to restrain her, " you took a nasty tumble against the garden wall when …" he pauses, " I'm not exactly sure what happened. All I saw was the energy absorb the creature and fold in on itself".

" It's over, then?" She asks, hopefully.

" it would appear so, " He replies affirmatively. He switches the subject, " How are you feeling?"

" Sore, wouldn't mind sleeping for a week, " Faith grins, " Been better, but not as bad as the last time. How are the others?"

"Dawn and Tara are still unconscious, but they appear relatively unscathed. Some bruising and cuts, much like you" Giles replies, trying to evade the coming question. He turns his face away.

Faith is coming more awake, and a small knot of fear insinuates itself into her stomach. She pulls on his arm.

"Giles… what about Willow?" She asks, her fear growing. She's afraid Willow escaped, is still out there somewhere, ready to attack them again.

" She's gone, " Giles says, simply.

" What do you mean, gone?" Faith asks, feeling her panic rising.

" We can't find any trace of her, " Giles says, his expression grim, " whatever that was that… possessed her, evidently absorbed her into itself. The energy absorbed it, and … Willow with it."

Faith looks mildly shocked, " Oh, " is all she manages to say. She can't help feeling some relief… but oddly, she feels sadness too. As much anger as she held for Willow, she didn't want her to die. Pay, yes; die, no. She knows this is going to be hard on Tara… and Buffy, too.

" How's B taking it, Giles?" Faith asks, figuring Buffy's around here somewhere. But something is nagging at the back of her memory… something she doesn't can't quite bring into focus.

Giles goes quiet. He looks at Faith, and can't say what he knows he has to say. He finds it hard to catch his breath.

" Giles… where's Buffy?" Faith asks, still feeling she should remember something. Something important.

Giles looks away, but not before Faith sees the look in his eyes.

It all comes back to her then. Buffy getting Dawn out, still inside the mansion… and then the implosion.

" No… Giles…" Faith chokes out, standing up. She feels as if steel bands are tightening around her lungs. She can't breathe… " No! It's not true… it can't be!" She starts towards the wreckage of the mansion, but Giles blocks her way.

" Faith… it's no good… she couldn't have survived…" Giles says, but Faith is not listening. She shoves him out of the way, and runs towards where the French doors used to be. She starts to toss debris left and right, trying to get to Buffy.

" Buffy… answer me baby," Faith calls out, digging into the wreckage, " Buffy!"

" Faith, stop" Giles calls out, running to her, " She's… gone". The realization that Buffy has died a second time hits him like a freight train, and he doubles over, as if someone punched him. He falls to his knees.

" No, I don't believe it. It's not true!" Faith turns on him, yelling, " She's alive! She HAS to be alive. Help me!" She screams at him.

He looks up, the tears streaming down his cheeks, " Faith… it's no good…" He says, choking on the words.

" No… NO … NO… NOOO!" Faith shouts at him. She can't believe. She won't believe. It's not true! She turns and starts digging again.

" Buffy… please… answer me!" She calls, her heart starting to pound in her chest, her head feeling like it will explode. " Please, baby … talk to me, tell me where you are! Buffy! …. Buffy!….. Buffy! PLEASE…. ANSWER ME!" She screams. Her body betrays her, her strength goes, and her knees buckle. She starts to pound on the stone and wood, her hands bleeding. She doesn't care, she doesn't feel anything. She only feels her heart bursting in her chest, her brain exploding.

" BUUUUUUUFFFFFFFFFEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE "

* * *

**Epilogue**

The late afternoon sunlight has a golden, almost celestial quality. A gentle breeze rustles the leaves of the tree, as if the wind is sighing, regretting the loss of another day. The sun dappled shade by the headstone lends a nostalgic, wistful quality to the scene. The sense of Déjà vu is strong here; this place is hauntingly familiar. We've been here before.

A young woman in her early twenties kneels by the grave, placing a single red rose in the vase by the marker. Her expression is marked by a longing and sense of loss we can only imagine. Her hand rubs over the stone, as if caressing its cold, rough surface. She leans in and kisses the stone, as if kissing someone dear. The strength seems to go out of her for a moment, and she leans against the stone, her eyes closed.

Stand a few yards off is a young girl, barely 16. She's watching the woman, and her expression is mournful. It's obvious she wishes to comfort the woman, but she holds back, fearing she'll be misunderstood. She holds a white rose in her hands. Gathering her courage, she walks to the grave, kneeling on the opposite side of the woman. She places the white rose in the vase. Tentatively, she reaches out and places her hand over the woman's. The woman opens her eyes.

" Hi, Dawnie," Faith smiles ruefully. She got lost in her thoughts again. It's been eight months since Buffy… was taken from her, and she still finds herself daydreaming about her lover." I'm sorry, honey, I was just saying goodbye".

" I know, " Dawn replies, quietly.

They never found either Buffy's or Willow's bodies. They searched through every square the ruins of the mansion, but neither body was turned up. It was if they'd never existed. For awhile, Faith held out the hope that Buffy somehow escaped, was wandering around… perhaps not remembering who she was. But after two months of fruitless search of Sunnydale and the surrounding area, Faith finally gave up. Faith finally accepted the inevitable; Buffy was gone, and not coming back.

Tara had left Sunnydale 6 months ago. Faith tried to persuade her to stay; Tara was, after all, her best friend. But Tara needed to make a clean break of it. Sunnydale had too many bad memories for her. She needed to get away before she would be able to get on with her life. Faith understood that, but still missed her gentle ways.

Soon after Buffy's death, despite her grief, Faith began a petition to the Courts to become Dawn's legal guardian. Despite his prior declarations, Hank Summers had lapsed into delinquent dadhood again. He went missing, and never bothered to show up for the hearing. No other relatives showed up, either, and Faith was awarded legal guardianship of Dawn, until such time as she reached the age of majority. Faith was determined to hang onto what little bit of her 'family' remained.

" So, we're really going to do this?" Dawn asks, " We're really leaving?"

Faith nods. " Xander talked to some of his buddies that live in Flagstaff. They're hiring construction workers. Seems their having a mini building boom. I've got a job waiting for me, " Faith looks at Dawn, " having second thoughts, P-nut?"

Dawn grimaces internally. God, I wish she'd stop calling me that! " No, just hard to believe that I'm leaving Sunnydale after all these years. Been here since I was ten… at least, that's how I remember it" She sighs, realizing that her early memories are false, but they feel real.

They stand up and start walking away from the grave. Faith stops, and takes one last look.

Good bye, love. I'm not leaving you, really, baby. You're with me in my heart.

She catches up with Dawn, who is waiting for her a few yards away. " Sorry… sorry" She says.

Dawn just nods and smiles. She knows Faith is still hurting. She'll be patient, and wait. She's never stopped loving Faith, and she's determined someday, she'll make her happy. But she has to let Faith heal, so she can see that she's not alone.

Faith and Dawn walk quietly for awhile, each lost in their own thoughts. They finally reach the U-haul moving van containing the furniture and other stuff they decided they wanted to keep. Their entire lives are packed in that truck. Attached to the back is a small trailer with Faith's bike.

They stand for a moment, taking one last look. They say goodbye one last time to the woman that meant so much to them, and in the end, brought them together.

" Are you ready, Dawnie?" Faith asks, turning towards the truck.

" I'm ready"

* * *

Fin


End file.
